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Original poster

To ask what's the rudest thing a stranger has done to you?

704 replies

YoungScrappyHungry · 08/12/2020 14:48

Inspired by the lovely thread about kindest thing strangers have done for you, and also a chance for me to share this horror.

When I was 19, I worked on the tills at a supermarket in my holidays from university.

A woman I was serving was staring at me, trying to get my attention as I scanned her stuff. I looked up at her and smiled. She said, in still the most condescending tone I've ever heard:

'Don't you wish you'd studied now?'

I was so floored and ashamed, I didn't say a thing back and just carried on scanning her things. Fact was I was actually at university, but even if I hadn't been....aghh!....still gets me.

What are yours?

OP posts:
shinynewapple2020 · 08/12/2020 22:45

@Ffsseriously

All the people saying how customers were rude saying you will end up like this if you dont study. They then gleefully point out they were studying. You really are agreeing with the rude people. You are quick to point out you are more than just bar staff or shop workers, so you are just as rude. Its no come back or challenge to the ingrained snobbish in the remark.

I was also feeling uncomfortable with a lot of these stories .

Firstly I am shocked that people can be so rude to complete strangers . But secondly very uncomfortable that so many posters are pointing out they are only waitressing / working in a shop whilst also studying at uni suggests that underneath they have the same
Opinion as the people who put them down to start with .

Funkypolar · 08/12/2020 22:47

2020in2020 - wonder if it was the same unhinged person? Not sure why some people on here get so personal and nasty if you disagree with them?

When I worked as airline cabin crew, I had a woman tell her daughter she should work harder at school or she would be a sky waitress, collecting rubbish. I said with a smile something like “oh but I get to spend 24 hours in xyz in a lovely hotel, I couldn’t work in an office. I really enjoy my job!”

The mother then said “well I want my daughter to do something respectable like be a nurse.”

Me: still cheerful and smiley, “oh I trained as a nurse, got my degree but then realised that this pays more, I get to see the world for free and it’s low stress!”

I don’t think she liked that.

dotty12345 · 08/12/2020 22:49

@FridayNightAtTheBronze, my eldest son was also born with a cleft lip and palate and was also 6 weeks premature so his first operation was slightly delayed. He wore like a denture in his mouth secured by wire and stuck with plasters to his cheeks with plaster holding the cleft together so it didn't continue to separate (over 30 years ago now) I was 19 and caught the bus to my mums with him in a baby carrier and as I got off the bus there were 3 women in their 30's near the front and one of them said to me "people like you shouldn't be allowed to have kids" assuming I'd hurt him. I sobbed for hours at my mums.

Bargebill19 · 08/12/2020 22:51

I’m a specialist cleaner. I left work and a stranger said to their friend - “how can a cleaner afford that car. “
I managed not say what I thought, - because I get paid a lot and I’m really not stupid with money.

Frieswithanythin · 08/12/2020 22:54

I think half of these stories made up to annoy people who actually work in these jobs for a living ( myself included) . Why the people who work in call centres/supermarkets have to tell the rude person they are studying for abcd?? As if the jobs beneath them i the first place? Why not just ignore?

HollyCarrot · 08/12/2020 22:57

Shinynewapple2020 if you're referring to me (you may not be) I made the point I hope that I learned this was a shit point of view. I was young and it takes time to learn these things sometimes.

DuesToTheDirt · 08/12/2020 22:59

very uncomfortable that so many posters are pointing out they are only waitressing / working in a shop whilst also studying at uni suggests that underneath they have the same Opinion as the people who put them down to start with

Agreed. I think a better response (given that you can't be rude to customers) would be along the lines of, "I'm earning a living and providing a service, and that is nothing to be ashamed of."

MaggieMagpie357 · 08/12/2020 23:03

A pensioner with a stick admonished me on a bus full of people for sitting in a priority seat when I was 8 months pregnant. There were three people sat around me that were neither pregnant nor disabled, and not one of them said anything. One man eventually got up so the man could sit down, and the pensioner spent the rest of the journey having a go at me about taking a disabled seat when I wasn't disabled. We were sat right at the front so the conductor and driver heard it all and said nothing, apart from singing "Where is the love?" to each other. I got off at my stop and dissolved into hot tears. I've never forgotten it!

DuesToTheDirt · 08/12/2020 23:04

I was 8 months pregnant. There were three people sat around me that were neither pregnant nor disabled

You should have said this. We need to stand up for ourselves!

shinynewapple2020 · 08/12/2020 23:06

Those comments are horrible @sammylady37

iwasacceptableinthe80s · 08/12/2020 23:08

@mrsbyers this has happened to my family. My husband has MS and we have used airport assistance for over 20 years. The number of people who mutter loudly when he is wheeled through or if he's using a mobility scooter. One woman, who saw him stand to transfer seats, said "look, he CAN fucking walk". By the time I'd torn a strip off her she didn't know what had hit her.

MaggieMagpie357 · 08/12/2020 23:11

@DuesToTheDirt I did!! Absolutely no response from anyone. I moved out of London six months later. No regrets!

Lozz22 · 08/12/2020 23:15

@Funkypolar

Someone on Mumsnet objected to something I had posted in reply to their post. I was perfectly polite to them.

They then searched my posts and found out I was pregnant and posted a reply to one of my pregnancy posts about work saying “I don’t know if it’s your personality or hormones but hopefully you’ll be less of a bitch when your baby is born. I bet your colleagues are praying you don’t return after mat leave.”

Something similar happened to me after I commented on someone's post. All I said was (after a fall) that if it was me I would go and get checked out. Explained that I had been involved in a minor prang when I was Pregnant but because it was so minor and I wasn't in any pain I didn't think to go get checked out. I started having contractions that night and found out I'd lost the Baby the following morning. It had taken me 18 years to fall Pregnant and I had already had 3 miscarriages prior to this pregnancy The poster came back on and said I was horrible for scaring her as she was already worried. Think I did manage to reply back to that one but I really wish I'd said that clearly she wasn't because she'd already put on her post she didn't think she needed to be seen ( think she did in the end though) then someone else came on and said I was really insensitive etc etc. Those comments really upset me because at the time we'd just gotten past the 1 year anniversary of our Baby's death. I did actually consider coming off here because it upset me that much. In the end I told the 2 who were being vile that I told of my experience because I wouldn't want my worst enemy to go through the hurt and pain me and my partner did. The poster who called me insensitive then came back to harp on at me that maybe next time I would think before writing something insensitive again. This time I riling so I just said and maybe next time you'll think before you lay into someone who's just had the first anniversary of her Baby's death. Funny enough I didn't get a reply
CharlotteRose90 · 08/12/2020 23:17

I have ulcerative colitis and once had a flare up that left me being sore from being on the toilet countless times. Anyway I ended up in a&e and while talking to the doctor about being in pain. First thing he said was it is from too much sex 🤣🤣. Massive complaint made in his case complete twat

shinynewapple2020 · 08/12/2020 23:17

@Georgyporky

I asked a shop assistant to repeat something - twice - because I couldn't understand what she was saying as her accent was so bad.

She shouted at me "Are you deaf or stupid".

You sound rather rude yourself. Do you mean that her accent was strong and it was an accent you weren't used to Hmm

N0tthe0nlyfruit · 08/12/2020 23:22

I suspected I was having a second miscarriage at work. I got an emergency appointment to see my obs/gynae that evening in his late clinic. However I stayed in work. I'd arranged a meet up of some professionals that evening (informal drinks) so I had to ring around them all and offer profuse apologies. One man refused to believe me when I told him I'd an urgent medical appointment. I remember standing in my office, phone in hand, and my whole stomach lurched when he said "but consultants don't have evening clinics?". I said quietly "this one does, and I am dreadfully sorry, but I can't make this evening". He repeated "but there are no medical clinics in the evening"? and I felt hot then cold as he was accusing me of lying, while I was actually having a miscarriage. For many years afterwards I desperately wanted to phone him again and tell him "you know that time you essentially called me a liar"? I was miscarrying, u absolute bastard.

HollyCarrot · 08/12/2020 23:22

shinynewapple2020 it can be hard for people to adapt to a foreign accent at times. Not rocket science.

silentrunner · 08/12/2020 23:24

WellTidy

Had an almost identical scenario with a seemingly nice normal family when demonstrating a quite techy product showing how fun it can be to the kids. Kid said similar about doing this job and parent turned a full 180 in attitude and barked that "no child will mine will EVER work in a Fing shop

Figmentofimagination · 08/12/2020 23:28

On holiday at Disney World in Florida. Family holiday for my sister's wedding.

One cast member asked my sister if I was her mum. Not to be mean but just to make conversation and not properly paying attention.

I was horrified as I was in my late 20's at the time, my sister is only 18 months younger than me, and I actually looked great for the first time in years as I'd lost 4 stone in weight. Put a dampener on the rest of the day.

Worriedandabitscared · 08/12/2020 23:31

Place marker

Lurchermom · 08/12/2020 23:48

My DH, wearing his RAF uniform after work was smacked by an old man with an umbrella. It still makes him angry to think about it but I couldnt stop laughing. Literally nothing provoked it.

I worked in retail and hospitality (management) for years after finishing my MSc (totally unrelated subject). I couldn't even tell you the number of times customers have been rude to me about my work. I think my favourite though was after handing a coffee Id made over to a lady, she loudly commented to her young daughter "and this is why we have to study hard at school so you don't have to end up making mummy coffee for a living*tinkling laugh"
Normally I'm not very reactive to comments like that but that time I did respond with a "it's true, my parents are desperately ashamed of my 4 As at A level, a Russel group degree and an MSc from a top university. They're absolutely horrified that I manage a high turn over shop and a team of 8 despite being under 25. Oh and own my own house. Utterly tragic"
I will treasure the look on her face forever.

I regularly was asked "don't you wish you'd got a proper job?", Always by people I was serving...like, you do realise if I wasn't here now you wouldn't be getting this service, right? It just Britain has such a terrible attitude towards hospitality. In Europe it's much more respected.

Dowser · 08/12/2020 23:52

@dotty12345
I’m another mum of a clapa baby.
Like the pp also.
I was quite lucky, I never got any adverse comments..well not to my face anyway.
Interesting about the device you speak of, Id never seen anything like that.
His surgery was delayed till he was 5 months as he had a blooming milk allergy and constant diahorrea

He’s 40 next year. We used to go to meetings in NEwcastle and it helped a lot

If he got picked on at school he never told me but his older brother used to always give him sly punches, till his first day at seniors,he said,
Come here, you’re my brother now, tied his tie for him and they got on famously after that

Like he’d seen him for the first time 😂

CorianderQueen · 08/12/2020 23:58

Similar to you, working as a barmaid.

'You never thought about studying to do something better with your life?'

Yes thanks, I'm doing my MA. Rude cunt.

Dastardlythefriendlymutt · 09/12/2020 00:00

I was 7 or 8 years old and had a growth spurt that meant I was going through precocious puberty. So I suddenly had the body of a 12/13 year old and was quite tall. I was by no means overweight as my height and weight were proportional but much "larger" than my peers.

None of my clothes fit properly so my dad took me shopping and an assistant was helping me choose and selecting the same clothes in different sizes so we ccould find out what my new sizes were.

A lady shopping with her young daughters (probably 7/8 and 5/6) pointed at me and laughing out loud mockingly warned her daughters if they ate too much sweets and chocolate they would end up like me. she went on and on about my weight, laughing and shaming me and using me like a cautionary tale. All the other parents and the assistant just stood dumbfounded, but didn't say a word to defend me. I just held the hot tears back.

When my dad came back upstairs I just pretended as though nothing happened. I couldn't wait to get home and cried my little eyes out.

CorianderQueen · 09/12/2020 00:05

@CorianderQueen

Similar to you, working as a barmaid.

'You never thought about studying to do something better with your life?'

Yes thanks, I'm doing my MA. Rude cunt.

To clarify this - I don't agree with the insulting people, it's more that they assume service staff are stupid. Whether you're studying alongside or not it's not true to assume someone is working that job because they can't do something else, rather than out of choice or some other necessity not relating to their brain, is inherently rude and untrue.