Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what's the rudest thing a stranger has done to you?

704 replies

YoungScrappyHungry · 08/12/2020 14:48

Inspired by the lovely thread about kindest thing strangers have done for you, and also a chance for me to share this horror.

When I was 19, I worked on the tills at a supermarket in my holidays from university.

A woman I was serving was staring at me, trying to get my attention as I scanned her stuff. I looked up at her and smiled. She said, in still the most condescending tone I've ever heard:

'Don't you wish you'd studied now?'

I was so floored and ashamed, I didn't say a thing back and just carried on scanning her things. Fact was I was actually at university, but even if I hadn't been....aghh!....still gets me.

What are yours?

OP posts:
BeSureToDrinkYourOvaltine · 10/12/2020 16:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the OP.

SharedLife · 10/12/2020 17:09

When we had our follow up appointment with the consultant after a tfmr when we discovered our much wanted baby had anencephaly, said consultant told me if I intend to get pregnant again I should lose weight to reduce my risks of it happening again. Fair enough. She then turned to my husband and said, "and you're not exactly Mr Skinny." With a real smirk on her face. I was so taken aback because up to that moment she'd been wonderful.
I said "No, hes Mr Surname to you. "
The nurse practitioner with her looked mortified but the doctor was totally oblivious.

woodhill · 10/12/2020 17:31

@EyelinerRocks

On a night out in my early 20’s Had taken lots of effort and care in my appearance as always. Was walking down the street with a blonde friend Young men walk by say “ you’re hot , she’s not “ to my blonde friend and gang of them walk away sniggering

Seems silly now but honestly killed me at the time , felt so ugly and plain as the brunette .

I think if that happened now at my age I would not bat an eyelid.

Yes this sort of thing, so horrible
WitchesSpelleas · 10/12/2020 17:35

BeSureToDrinkYourOvaltine

I agree the midwife sounds awful, but was there any need for the ageist 'dragged out of the crypt' comment? She was horrible to you because she was a horrible person, not because she was old.

TillyTopper · 10/12/2020 17:45

I was in hospital after having twin DS. I had an elected CS. I was struggling to settle them. Around 3am a nurse came in and started telling me how they'd had a woman in who'd also had twins and an elected CS, she ended by saying "She used to call in to the ward all the time after that, she was suicidal after she got home from here".

littlejlb · 10/12/2020 18:22

On the train home from London with my daughter in the buggy, having just had surgery that day. It was fairly busy, but I was standing and everyone was being civil and polite. One slightly older gent got on, and went to step over my daughter in her buggy. I turned to him and in quite a stern voice told him 'don't you dare step over my child in her pram!!' And glared at him. Took quite by surprise and those around me smiled. He just stood where he was.

MummyMayo1988 · 10/12/2020 20:54

Not the worst but...
I was in my local town doing some shopping. Very heavily pregnant. I was about to go in a shop when I noticed a woman coming out with her (around 15 Yr old) daughter. Being the polite person that I am; I opened the door for them and held it. As she passed me; the mother turned to her daughter and said; "Look at that! Another teenage pregnancy!"
I was mortified!
I wish I'd had the courage at the time to tell her that I was 21 and engaged to my partner of 3 years.

LovelyIssues · 10/12/2020 21:22

@FlyingLoo about as much as people mentioning whether the rude stranger was a man. What an odd comment

grannyinapram · 10/12/2020 21:22

@FoxyTheFox

That would have been an excellent ending! Alas i married a completely different man who as far as i know has never removed his own shoe and hurled it into traffic in a fit of righteous fury. More's the pity.

Could you pretend?

Years later I was running late for a job interview and couldn't find the building it was supposed to be at. I ducked into a nearby coffee shop for directions. The barista, who was actually the owner, looked shocked "oh my god, its you! I don't know if you remember me but..."

Did you write fanfictions? I'm shipping these two Star
FlyingLoo · 10/12/2020 22:21

@LovelyIssues you seriously think that mentioning someone’s sex is the same as including someone’s ethnicity?

LovelyIssues · 10/12/2020 22:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

FlyingLoo · 10/12/2020 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LovelyIssues · 10/12/2020 22:54

Wow Confused @flyingloo

coronafiona · 10/12/2020 22:54

My daughter was on chemo and had a tube to deliver her drugs. An old man walked up to me and said 'is that to help her breathe?' I said no it's for her cancer drugs. That shut him up.

DownstairsMixUp · 10/12/2020 23:17

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Shannith · 11/12/2020 01:32

@I8toys

In a queue for teen disco, trapped by bodies all round, stuck his hand between my legs and then forced his fingers through my knickers into me. First experience of the male sex. I was so shocked I said nothing. I wish I had smashed his face in.
I'm so sorry that happened to you.

Me too but I was older and leaving a grown up club. Fucker did it not once but twice. It was too crowded to see the first time and I was hemmed in. Second time I spun round just as the crowd parted and caught him. He smirked at me.

I punched him in the face with all the fury I felt and knocked him straight to the ground. My friends stopped me killing him and the bouncers took him away. I hope to beat the crap out of him.

Hopefully he never tried that little trick again.

Bunbunbunny · 11/12/2020 01:43

A woman told me I was going to die because I'm fat, walked up to me on a High Street to ask me if I was looking forward to getting diabetes.

A man followed me around Poundland walking up to me and whispering heart attack and you're going to die soon.

Got on a tram and a teenager starting saying on her phone a big fat bitch is standing next to me taking up my space, and repeated it several times so I could hear.

Worst part I'd had lost a lot of weight, very demoralising to go through crap like that. Never said anything back as I was scared and shocked, also because I'm overweight I didn't feel I could respond as they're right. Just stood there wishing the ground would swallow me and not to start crying.

Notimeforaname · 11/12/2020 02:32

Waiting at a bus stop in summer I suddenly felt the right side of my face,neck and arm get wet.
Tuned out a man of about 80 had spat on me. He looked like the old perv from family guy. Walking stick the lot.
He stood there making insane faces at me trying to spit again . Fuckin repulsive. I went to kick him in the jaw..almost got him but then people on the street started screaming at me to leave the old man alone and I was a fucking scumbag Confused

ReadyFreddy · 11/12/2020 04:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

livelyredjellybean · 11/12/2020 07:58

Was dancing with a bloke in a club wearing a strapless dress. Wanker decided to just yank it down! How I didn’t slap him and only walked off I’ll never know.

Cheeseandlobster · 11/12/2020 08:32

@coronafiona

My daughter was on chemo and had a tube to deliver her drugs. An old man walked up to me and said 'is that to help her breathe?' I said no it's for her cancer drugs. That shut him up.
I dont think that's rude though if he just asked. It might have been unwelcome though
Namechangedididittoo · 11/12/2020 10:25

I was 4.5 months pregnant and bleeding heavily I went to drs and the nurse said “for gods sake girl every woman has at least one miscarriage in their life,just get on with it”
The dr called an ambulance and I lost my daughters twin

TheSockMonster · 11/12/2020 12:05

Walking down a country lane with 10 yo DD during lockdown #1 and a man in car purposefully swerved towards us as if he was going to hit us. I had to push DD into the nettles on the bank and his wing mirror brushed the fabric of my top.

On a very overcrowded tube train with DD last year who does not usually go into London. A very aggressive women was trying to get me to move away from DD so she could get her suitcase on.

Lots of people theatrically tutting over me bottle feeding DS in public, fast forward 18 months and lots of other people theatrically tutting over me breastfeeding DD. Decided you really can’t win that one.

An NHS therapist told me with intentional rudeness that she couldn’t help me get over my phobia if I refused to show my emotions. I was really polite and enthusiastic throughout the appointment and come armed with a list of things I tried, what I thought had caused it and what I thought might help. I still have no bloody idea what she was expecting from me or what I did to provoke it. She dramatically slammed her notebook into the table beside her before saying it, then when I apologised and asked what I could do better she just sat there in silence looking like she wanted to strangle me. After a long and very uncomfortable silence I asked if I should go and she said if I refused to ‘engage’ there was no point in me staying Confused

FrangipaniBlue · 11/12/2020 12:32

I've been shouted at while running and deliberately swerved at while cycling. Nearly always middle aged men in vans or pickups.

Lost count of how many times a man has ignored me, spoken over me, pushed in front of me etc.

I used to be overweight and one of the biggest things I noticed after losing weight was that men are "nicer" to me. I don't mean in a lechy way but things like holding doors open vs letting them swing shut in my face.

Common theme in my life and on this thread of men who think it's ok to say what they want to women and treat them like invisible citizensAngry

obviouslymarvellous · 11/12/2020 12:42

Not a stranger (well she is now!) but my mother after I had a very late miscarriage (20 odd weeks) - needless to say I wasn't in a good place, I'd had a bad time in hospital and hadn't recovered quickly and she told me to f@@k off with my miscarriage! Such a lovely comment to make Confused