To ask what's the rudest thing a stranger has done to you?

[YoungScrappyHungry]

Inspired by the lovely thread about kindest thing strangers have done for you, and also a chance for me to share this horror.

When I was 19, I worked on the tills at a supermarket in my holidays from university.

A woman I was serving was staring at me, trying to get my attention as I scanned her stuff. I looked up at her and smiled. She said, in still the most condescending tone I've ever heard:

'Don't you wish you'd studied now?'

I was so floored and ashamed, I didn't say a thing back and just carried on scanning her things. Fact was I was actually at university, but even if I hadn't been....aghh!....still gets me.

What are yours?

Gg

When I was 10, a girl in my class said to to me and my pal that we mustn't worry as her mum said that ugly ducklings grow up to be beautiful swans. Another " friend" said that she gave me a Penguin bar at playtime every day, as her mum wanted me to get fat so I wouldn't get a boyfriend. I'm nearly 62 and I still think about these!

I have two!

For background I had three kids under 4 by 28. I’ve always looked young.

I spent a lot of time at soft play as it was the easiest way to entertain all three kids at once while husband worked nights. (Were both in the police). A woman in her 50-60s was staring at me a lot. This went on for a while, we were sat next to each other as it wasn’t a big soft play and it was very noticeable. I smiled back at her and got asked “are you a childminder?” - no “are all of those kids yours?” - yes “they are very close in age aren’t they” - yes “do they have the same dad?” - I hope so or my husband will be unhappy, “you didn’t leave much time there did you” - no I just love sex.

She then apologised for being rude.

Next time I had a baby in the trolley, and two small kids walking alongside going through the supermarket checkouts. It had been a rough day. The checkout assistant asks for my milk tokens. I look blank. Asks again. I said I don’t know what you are talking about. She explains that people on benefits get them and get free baby milk and fruit and vegetables. I told her having been employed in some form since the age of 16 I had no idea what she was talking about. Presumptuous much?

Was in crowded cafe and asked gentleman at at a table for 4 if my disabled son could sit on opposite side while I got food / drink - he sits quietly with book but tends to jump/ flap while waiting to sit down - he looked at my son and back to me and said ‘no I don’t think I’d want him there’ I was so flabbergasted I walked away not saying a word - luckily two kind ladies offered to finish their tea quickly so we could have their seats.

One woman loudly exclaimed to her DH and 2 children how she was clearly paying for my ridiculously oversized family as we were clearly on benefits and with 6 children obviously didn't know what a TV was.

I immediately spun around (they were walking behind us) and quickly disabused her of that notion by explaining that (due to family illness) we were a blended family, had several TV's and that not only were my husband and I employed in excellent job roles but it really wasn't my job to correct her bad manners and really shouldn't she be setting a better example to her children because the last time I looked it really wasn't socially acceptable to judge others so loudly and harshly.

She just stared in shock whilst her DH cringed beside her.

I just smiled and walked on whilst my kids gave me a round of applause. 😁

Shopping in shop in Eriskay for picnic the woman at till and her customer were bitching in Gaelic about tourists Woman on till blushed to roots of her hair when I spoke Gaelic to her !

So many times I’ve had vile men comment on how massive my arse is, call me fat etc. Few years ago I’d dropped Dd at nursery and was walking to the bus stop to go to work. Some guy in a car shouted fat bitch at me but unfortunately for him her got stuck at the traffic lights, so I stopped outside his car and tapped on the window and asked him why he felt the need to shout that at me and if it made him feel good to shout abuse at young women. He didn’t know where to put himself and couldn’t think of a response.

My husbands cousin, first time we had ever met shouted very loudly in front of a wedding ' f* me you're tall, what's wrong with you!'

I am 5ft 11 so not huge but he is particularly short at 5ft 1.

@Ffsseriously

So why all the people who say they dont disrespect retail or hospitality staff and did it themselves. Do you feel that telling rude arseholes actually im not thick i a have a degree puts them in their place. This suggests that those that cant say that are thick. Surely with your plethora of phds, degrees and firsts from Oxbridge you can see that.

There has to be a good put-down that would,shame someone making nasty comments to wait staff/bar staff/supermarket staff. I’m sure MN can come up with several!

The best I can come up with, right now is “If this person wasn’t here, doing this job for rude and unpleasant snobs like you, how do you think you would get your shopping/drinks/meal, then?”

When DS was a baby I was walking around our village with him in the pushchair,up a little side toad and these 2 boys behind me started commenting on how fat I was.They were about 11-12 I thought.
Usually I am a wimp and ignore,this time I was so cross I asked them what their Mums and Grans would think about them being so rude to someone they didn't know.
I don't think they were particularly ashamed though they were a bit flustered - but they did go away and I felt much better.

After being told of the death of my precious first baby aged 7 days, due to a congenital heart problem, when I was 20 years old, someone said to me "Well, at least you'll be able to save up now."

@squooz

Was in crowded cafe and asked gentleman at at a table for 4 if my disabled son could sit on opposite side while I got food / drink - he sits quietly with book but tends to jump/ flap while waiting to sit down - he looked at my son and back to me and said ‘no I don’t think I’d want him there’ I was so flabbergasted I walked away not saying a word - luckily two kind ladies offered to finish their tea quickly so we could have their seats.

To be fair, I would not want a random child sitting at my table, disabled or not. I probably would have offered the table if I was almost finished rather than say no, though!

@Ohalrightthen

Shouted "i want to lick your cunt" out of the window of a van at me. I was 11, and in school uniform. I didn't really know what he meant but the tone was clear and i will remember for the rest of my life how dirty it made me feel.

I'll also remember the boy who came out of the corner shop just as it happened, shouted at the man to fuck off, and threw one of his shoes at the van. He was probably about 14 and i think he knew exactly what the man meant.

@Ohalrightthen - this made me well-up, I can empathise so much with how you felt then & how you still feel now. I’m very sorry this happened to you. I live in hope that #metoo will generate more of the men that that 14yr old no doubt grew up to be.

I was working in London.Got off the tube at Oxford circus and as I was walking to the barrier a man behind me swiped my legs out so he could go first through the barrier. he called me a cunt as he walked over me. I was so shocked as I laid on the floor I burst into tears. 12 years ago. still makes me angry.

When my 2nd son was 8 days old he was rushed to hospital with breathing difficulties. While he was in resuscitation he fell into a coma. A nurse was asked to come and take me to a "family room" so they could prep my baby for transfer to the nearest children's hospital. Im standing at the end of his bed watching the Drs work on his tiny body and this bitch of a nurse comes up and prods me hard in the stomach. "Have you got another one in there? You know breastfeeding gets rid of that quickly, he probably wouldn't be here if you were breastfeeding". I was seething, but all I could get out was that he was breastfed. Another nurse must have clocked my face and pulled her away. They had someone else take me to the room. Unfortunately my boy didn't make it and passed away 11 days later.

Was 16 walking home from work in the middle of summer when a group of boys drove past and threw a tin of tomato soup at me from behind. Covered head to toe in it and still a good 20 mins before I would be home. Was hysterical by the time I got home and my mum pissed herself laughing while she helped me strip in the hall. Was stained orange for a few days.

I had a hard time getting a job after uni so signed up for job seekers allowance while I looked. At my interview the man said “isn’t it funny, you’re the one with the law degree but I’m the one with the job!” I looked dumbstruck & cried as soon as I stepped outside

OhMyMirror I am so sorry for the loss of your son.

That nurse has no right to be working with people. I hope you reported her.

I was once walking through a shopping centre to get to the family room to feed my hungry baby when a woman said to me "poor thing, I'd be crying too if i had ginger hair"

I was queuing at a well known high street shop with very narrow aisles and saw an elderly couple so moved a little so they could get passed me as one was in a wheelchair so I gave enough room for them to pass and then I got back to my spot. The woman shouted at me that’s there’s a que and maybe in my country they don’t have any but here I need to get in the back of the que! I explained politely this is my country as I was born here and I also explained I moved out of the way to let them pass so I was originally in the que. The woman called me a “paki” and told me to “shut the fuck up”. The man was sitting in his wheelchair scowling at me.

I was so young and shy. I really wish I had said something but to be honest even 20 years on now I don’t know what I should have said. Any ideas on what I should have said?

When I was a kid, me and my parents went swimming, taking my seriously, disabled sibling with us. I was only 10 but remember some women in the pool muttering to her husband that it was horrible seeing a disabled child in the pool and we shoud have left them at home. She actually said, ‘he’s upsetting to look at’.

I thought my Dad was going to thump her . My parents were so upset.

Thank you. I did make a complaint but never heard anything back. I hope she made an arsey comment to the wrong person.

Absolutely horrified by some of the incidents recounted on this thread. Some people are so unutterably foul. I hope their next shit's a hedgehog!

The one that really sticks in my mind is both horrid and racist. My mum and dad were on holiday in Paris in the 1980s. My dad was disabled and had to rest for a couple of hours every afternoon, so my mum went off to explore the city on her own. She had one of those string bags that you could roll up and put in your pocket and used it to carry the things she bought.

She was walking back to their hotel carrying her purchases in the bag and a man walking towards her hissed 'juif' at her as he passed. His delightful anti-semitism apparently aroused by the use of the string bag. Hateful specimen.

With friends at Christmastime in Düsseldorf, enjoying the magical atmosphere in the Burgplatz in the early evening... of all the literally hundreds of people there, a random man comes barging at me and punches me hard on the shoulder, sending me flying sideways. Then he disappeared into the crowd.

In the U.S., quite a queue in a restaurant lobby, but not in a line so difficult to tell who was with who and what order we were in. The host asks ‘who’s next?’ No-one speaks up, she asks again and some people confirm they’ve already been allotted so I say “it must be us, table for four please.” This woman who had been silently sitting on a large planter rim, under a large palm, suddenly gets up and shouts “you all know that I’m next!” I say “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to jump the queue.” She arranges her table booking, then turns back to me and says “you British are so rude!” I’m taken aback & reply “alright, keep your hair on, I’ve already said sorry, I didn’t mean to jump in.” She walks away. I was with family & we were all baffled. Then, as we’re being shown to our table, she comes up to me, right in my face, so close I can feel her breath, and snarls, “how dare you be so rude to me in front of my daughter!” I half laugh because this is very threatening behaviour and I was thinking she was about to apologise to me but it’s clear she might actually head butt me and I was scared! This winds her up even more & she basically offers me a fight at which point the staff step in and tell her she’s being very unreasonable and if she didn’t leave me alone, she’d have to leave the restaurant. She sat back down with her family thankfully.

@FridayNightAtTheBronze

How awful! Whilst I'm sure it has burnt you over the years that you didn't give this idiot what for, ultimately you not making a scene has meant your daughter doesn't remember. Had you given the twat what she deserved (a smack quite frankly!) your daughter would be far more likely to remember. So don't feel bad. Besides, I bet her life is awful with an attitude like that.

A stranger threw pizza at me when I declined his advances.