To ask what's the rudest thing a stranger has done to you?

[YoungScrappyHungry]

Inspired by the lovely thread about kindest thing strangers have done for you, and also a chance for me to share this horror.

When I was 19, I worked on the tills at a supermarket in my holidays from university.

A woman I was serving was staring at me, trying to get my attention as I scanned her stuff. I looked up at her and smiled. She said, in still the most condescending tone I've ever heard:

'Don't you wish you'd studied now?'

I was so floored and ashamed, I didn't say a thing back and just carried on scanning her things. Fact was I was actually at university, but even if I hadn't been....aghh!....still gets me.

What are yours?

This is one I can answer 100 times as I was a fat kid and teen. SO many people just fronted up and said things to me - mostly adults.
I have had the following right off the top of my head:

• female stranger screaming out "you fat biiiiiicth" out of a car window whilst I was walking (I was around 13)
• attendants laughing, mocking me and calling their mates over to see "how much the chairlift went down" when I went on one.
• lady telling me "you wont find anything in THIS shop, dear, you are too fat"
• people just sidling up to me and saying "oh wow, I didnt think they sold swimming costumes in that size"
• lining up for ice cream with lots of other kids and ice cream guy says "well, YOU would be wanting a BIG scoop then, wouldnt you"
• a teacher at school commenting on my lack of coat in winter "well, you dont need one, that fat will keep you warm"

All when I was 13 and under and I wasn't HUGE, just an obviously overweight child/teen/
People are shits.

I walked past a group of three children, who were about 10 years old. It was two boys and a girl. They stopped and stared as I walked past, then one of the boys said whilst looking me dead in the eye, 'You are an ugly lady'.

I said nothing, went home and sobbed for hours, which led to an argument with my boyfriend as I was unable to tell him what had happened. I was too embarrassed.

This was a couple years ago and the timing was terrible - I was literally walking back from a GP appointment where I had been discussing my anorexia, self-hate and suicidal thoughts. It was the first time I had told anyone about these feelings and to be called ugly by a child on that day....well, I still get nervous walking past children now.

Some arsehole shouting "FAT COW!" out of his van window while I was out on a run. Made even more bizarre by the fact that I was the fittest and slimmest I have ever been (size 8-10, half marathon training - a time I look back on fondly as I am still trying to shift the baby weight from DD 19 months on!). Fortunately I was feeling good about myself and only twigged too late to respond as I was happily getting into my running playlist (bit of J-Lo, as i recall).

But why do these people feel the need to try to make others feel bad about themselves? What do they get out of it? I would genuinely like to ask them!

The comments made to people working in retail reminded me of when my daughter worked on reception at a -overpriced- boutique' hotel. Guests would often ask if it was her real job (yes it was) if she was a student (nope) or if this is what she really wanted to do (wtf sort of question is that.)

I used to work at a venue in Central London and we hosted various club nights.

One night I was on the top deck of the bus when 2 couples got on and were generally being really obnoxious, throwing coins at me, shouting abuse etc. They got off the bus a stop before me but as they were leaving, I heard them asking each other which was it was to said club night. As an aside, they’d come quite a way from Essex for this, so really made quite a journey.

Little did they know, the next stop was closer to the venue so by the time they’d found their way there, I’d got into work, grabbed my duty managers keys & walkie talkie and briefed the doormen that this select group of 4 were not to be allowed in.

Upon arrival and being told they couldn’t come in, they demanded to speak to the manager. The looks on their faces when I came out was absolutely priceless.

I was walking down the street years ago and a school bus went past me. Some kids threw an egg at me!! Luckily it just missed me and smashed into the floor Infront of my feet. Would have ruined my day if it had landed on my head.

I was once filling my car up with petrol, it was a very busy garage with all pumps in use.
There was a man behind me (mid 30s) as I put the pump back and got in my car, he started swearing and honking at me because I wasn't driving off quick enough!!
My bum hadn't even touched the seat and he was so irrationality angry that I hadn't driven off to let him out yet. I just thought If he is that angry to a stranger, imagine what he is like behind closed doors.

I waitressed in a chain pub/restaurant when i was a teen....think Harvester or Beefeater type place....anyway i was serving a table of 4....2 young lads and their mums....the lads asked me over and over how much i was being paid...i was embarrassed as it was minimum wage and just kept laughing it off without telling them....the 2 mums just sat there smirking.....bitches !!!

Nearly 20 years in the public transport industry so have had some stinkers, but one stands out. A fella in his 40s with his boy of around 10yo exited the gates at my station. He'd used his contactless card. He told me he'd waited five minutes for a train but it hadn't turned up and wanted his money back. He was obviously not used to using PT, he dressed well, and it looked like he was used to gettinghis own way.. I asked him where he was going to, he replied, I said, OK, there's a train in X minutes, not long, but he still wanted his money back. He was getting a taxi, he said. I informed him refunds were available online or on the phone, (not at the station) to which he said, "For fuck sake, I want my money back now, you fat bitch, or I'll get you sacked." His son looked horrified. I am used to being called fat and ugly, but it was his threatening tone that got me. I said it's not possible and he got angrier and angrier. In the end I ran to the station office locking it behind me. He banged the door a few times but eventually left the station. I wrote an incident report and informed my manager, but I was shaken for a couple of days afterwards. (I didn't get the sack. Indeed when he tried to complain my manager took my side, telling the customer if he ever tries to come to one of his stations again, the police will be informed)

@FightingWithTheWind
As a fellow ginger with a ginger daughter, apparently people are mean to redheads as it used to be a sign of having Viking blood (hence why more red heads around coastal areas and linked to Scotland/Ireland) and it's actually a fear response from way back! And when people are scared they either turn nasty or jokey, so actually these peoples response is due to flight or fight response! Their natural instinct is saying they should fear the redhead. We also have a higher pain threshold so when people take the kick now I feel quiet smug, not sure if it's my sly smile or the redhead that makes people back off now when they've said something without me saying a word! (Maybe I just look nuts 🤔💁)

Standing up a full tram when DS was 16 months. Having to balance with one hand and had DS balanced on my hip and my other arm wrapped round him.

A few young people (men and women) sitting on the priority seats, but completely ignored me. I would have appreciated a seat with a small child, but didn't consider myself a 'priority' so just tried to balance. One women (late 20s) spend the whole journey glaring and tutting at me. The tram took a sharp turn, I wobble a bit whilst tightening my grip on DS and she snapped "watch where you are fucking standing, you stupid cow".

I only moved one of my feet to stablise and wasn't even that close to her.

@Taylrse

I was walking down the street years ago and a school bus went past me. Some kids threw an egg at me!! Luckily it just missed me and smashed into the floor Infront of my feet. Would have ruined my day if it had landed on my head.

I was once filling my car up with petrol, it was a very busy garage with all pumps in use.
There was a man behind me (mid 30s) as I put the pump back and got in my car, he started swearing and honking at me because I wasn't driving off quick enough!!
My bum hadn't even touched the seat and he was so irrationality angry that I hadn't driven off to let him out yet. I just thought If he is that angry to a stranger, imagine what he is like behind closed doors.

What you do then is slowly get out, slowly walk towards him, ask really nicely oh hi, what's wrong, can you do anything to help him? Take your time really establishing what he was trying to say. Noting the reg number of course. That'll take far longer than the 2.5 seconds it would've taken you to just drive off in peace!

Worst one would be attempted rape, guy dragged me down a dark alley. I fought back and scratched great gouges on his face, hope he's still got the scars. After that it would be when I lived in a Muslim country and regularly got the full frontal grope WHILE WALKING DOWN THE STREET IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. I soon learned to scream the appropriate phrases which brought others running to accost these dirty bastards.

In a restaurant in a family aimed hotel with my Dh and two Dds. Youngest DD who was just 2 was being vocal (whingy) whilst I'd gone to get her some food, DH was attempting to distract her but to no avail.

As I approached our table, the woman on the next table with two older children looked me square in the face and said very loudly 'tell that kid to shut the fuck up'. She spent the entire meal eyeballing us.

I was absolutely mortified!

I was waking home from a stretch and sweep (3 centres dilated I was told!) petrified I was going to no go into labour in the middle of town.

Some chugger (charity mugger) tried to stop me, I politely said “no thanks” and went into some horrible rant about young, single mums on benefits. Can’t remember the specifics now but it wasn’t pleasant at all, and not something I would ever agree with btw.

I took great delight in informing him I was none of these, held a senior position in a professional job and I already gave money to the charity direct through my wages... I might have called him an uncharitable c* for holding those opinions as well

Oooh I am angry just thinking it

Some of these are horrendous.

Mine is mild but still made me mad. Was shopping for wedding outfits in a posh shop. Snotty shop assistant said very pointedly ‘the cheaper things are on the rail there’. I wanted to come back Pretty Woman style. Big mistake...huge.

I should make it clear HE went into the rant not me

rosettesforjill Some arsehole shouting "FAT COW!" out of his van window while I was out on a run. Made even more bizarre by the fact that I was the fittest and slimmest I have ever been (size 8-10, half marathon training - a time I look back on fondly as I am still trying to shift the baby weight from DD 19 months on!). Fortunately I was feeling good about myself and only twigged too late to respond as I was happily getting into my running playlist (bit of J-Lo, as i recall).

Oh, I've had that, while cycling round a park, also size 8 at the time and really a very tiny person altogether. A car slowed down and an overweight man with an overweight woman passenger started shouting out the window about the "size of my arse". I think because I held them up slightly.

Imagine my surprise when they parked at the side of the road further along and the woman got out - I don't wish to offend anyone, but she was wearing one of those tent dresses and must have been a size 20-22.

I think some people just pick on anyone out doing sport and try to ruin their confidence. It didn't.

About 10 weeks after giving birth I walked into fatface pushing the pram. A 20 something women said to her family urgh look a fat person going into fat face! Honestly I nearly crumpled to the floor she broke me that day.

Assault and battery goes far beyond "rude" behaviour!

@Ohalrightthen

Shouted "i want to lick your cunt" out of the window of a van at me. I was 11, and in school uniform. I didn't really know what he meant but the tone was clear and i will remember for the rest of my life how dirty it made me feel.

I'll also remember the boy who came out of the corner shop just as it happened, shouted at the man to fuck off, and threw one of his shoes at the van. He was probably about 14 and i think he knew exactly what the man meant.

I had similar while I was waiting at a bus stop when I was about 15, a passing van slowed down and a man shouted out the window 'come over here and I'll feel your tits' I still remember how completely ashamed and humiliated I felt in front of everyone. It's horrible isn't it.

I have a disability, at the time I was walking with a walking stick, and was very slow because I was obviously struggling, Wakefield because I was having to walk up hill. A woman and her child were walking behind me and the woman was saying, loudly, "oh isn't she slow? Don't you think she's slow. What a silly slow lady. We think she should hurry up don't we" etc. Until eventually I turned down a side road and they went past. They totally could have walked around me earlier, the pavement wasn't that narrow, but chose not to.

I was so upset, especially because I was walking back from yet another doctors appointment where I'd been told there was nothing they could do to help.

I offered to buy a homeless guy a burger once when I was going into a fast food shop. He told me he didn't want a f*cking burger, told me he hoped my mother would die of cancer, and spat on me. I told him she already had, went home, and took the morning off work, which I spent crying and trying to shower off the feeling of another person's saliva on my face!

Going to the maternity unit at my local hospital during lockdown due reduced movement I had to fight my way in past about 10 men crowding the entrance waiting to be called in to see their partners scans.
I said excuse me to the man right at the front of the doors he told me to go fuck myself and spat straight in my face. I was 38 weeks pregnant.

I got called a 'stupid fat cow' by someone once. If he'd just said 'stupid cow' it probably would have hurt, but I'm thin, so it just became funny. It was a good lesson to me about how only insults that focus on insecurites hurt.

@Ffsseriously

All the people saying how customers were rude saying you will end up like this if you dont study. They then gleefully point out they were studying. You really are agreeing with the rude people. You are quick to point out you are more than just bar staff or shop workers, so you are just as rude. Its no come back or challenge to the ingrained snobbish in the remark.

Not at all they are saying only uneducated people work in these roles but you are correcting them that even educated people work in these roles too. They are saying you are only serving them because you don’t study but you are letting them know that they are wrong in their assumption.