To ask for your worst dinner party experiences?

[Smileandtheworldsmileswithyou]

I know there have been threads on this before, I just absolutely love them for some reason. These and the CF ones are the best! I'll start with mine. I had recently moved with my husband to a new country and my new boss invited me and a few other people from work to his house for dinner. When we arrived he was completely pissed, literally stumbling around drunk. He spent ages showing us a lizard on the wall which we all politely commented on, and waited and waited for the food...He then dropped a box of brownies all over the floor that another guest had brought as a gift and laughed about it for ages. Finally we were asked to sit down for dinner, but he said he couldn't carve the chicken so asked me to do it for him. He then came into the tiny kitchen to watch me try and carve it up and told me how I shouldn't worry, he would make sure I passed my probation at the end of the year. He then persuaded my husband to go in and finish off the job with the chicken before asking him if I was happy at work and if I liked him. We finally got to the table and he starts drinking my wine which I just ignore. He then tells everyone that he has made the bread rolls himself, even though I saw them in a packet in the kitchen. He told us a big elaborate tale about where he found the seeds for them. Dessert was finally served at around 1am, by which time everyone was desperate to get the hell out of there. He said we should take it in turns to host, funnily enough no one ever did take him up on that!

@memberofthewedding

Back story - I was again working with a colleague whom I had "leapfrogged" in the hierarchy. Lets call her Glenys. When I began in the organization Glanys was my senior by virtue of having been there years. But she was unqualified. We got on well and I even invited her to my birthday night out. Everyone was invited, even my boss who politely declined as he would have been the only man. However I was brought up to believe that it was the height of rudeness to leave one person out. Then Glenys was transferred elsewhere.

Fast forward a few years. I had been sponsored by the employer for a fast track course which would lead to my being fully qualified in a profession. Ex colleague Glenys made it clear she deeply resented me. For my 6 month placement the head of dept had assigned me tasks which were normally hers. It was part of my training. I was also allowed a "private study" day to attend classes and she resented that as well. There were a few minor clashes where she tried to make things awkward for me and I had to go to the HOD to sort things out.

In my final two weeks I became aware that Glenys was having a "flat warming" party to which she had invited everyone in the department (even the HOD) other than me. She deliberately did it within ear shot.

I decided to crash the party to see if she would challenge me, and arrived with 2 colleagues. Of course she could not say anything in front of the other guests as it would have made her look a real dick. I would simply have said "Oh sorry Glanys, there must have been a miscommunication. I heard you talking about the party and naturally assumed it was a general invitation. It never occurred to me that someone would be rude enough to leave one person deliberately out."

I even proposed a toast to thank her for her hospitality and wish her luck in her new home. She looked like she had wet herself and it had gone hard. I know I spoiled her evening.

The final week of my placement I organized a staff night out and made a point of inviting her, along with others in a group. She just turned on her heel and walked off. I never saw or worked with her again.

Ha, brilliant!

It is bizaare that you took 2 bags of groceries to a dinner party where guests where bringing items to share.

I don't drive due, and this person's house was 90 minutes away. There were no proper supermarkets near where I lived so going to the supermarket meant a long journey with two changes of buses. Person's house was almost next to a supermarket, so obviously it made more sense to simply combine the two into one trip, otherwise I'd have had to travel 50 minutes to the supermarket, 50 minutes back home, 90 minutes to the party and then 90 minutes back home. Total probably 8 buses in one day.

Honestly dont understand what else you expected to happen, as soon as you said you took the bags with you its like 'well this is obvious'.

I didn't "show up with bags" the food was in a bags hidden under my coat in a coat cupboard. Very obviously tucked away and hidden. Who the fuck goes through someone else's bags and helps themselves?? Who the fuck assumes tinned peaches and cornflakes are for a buffet?? Besides no one else brought food to share, and they knew full well I was only bringing a baguette and cheese.

It's remarkably entitled for a group of 50somethings to assume a college student would buy them a full week's grocery shopping.

I don’t rifle through my guests’ bags to see if they’ve got anything secreted away I might want to help myself to.

Thank you, lol

This isn't absolutely awful, but for some reason it still really grinds my gears.

When I was 22 I'd just moved in with my boyfriend. I was a decent cook and he knew this, but his whole family were very proud they were a 'farming family' and so they 'knew good food'. The implication was no one who wasn't a farmer could cook. The aunt, who was famous for her cooking, had us all round and my boyfriend kept talking up this amazing pudding she made called Millie Feely. Family secret, absolutely delicious, OMG. All through dinner the aunt, who had literally just met me, kept making snide comments to boyfriend's mum about cooking, interspersed with questions like 'do you know how you make mash, Sarah? You boil the potatoes and add butter and then you beat it with a fork, Sarah. That's mashed potatoes. That's how you make it. The boiled potatoes and the butter and the fork,' until I wanted to stick the bloody fork in her hand.

Pudding came out, and I said, without thinking, 'oh, it's millefeuille'. Furious tightening of lips. I was told in no uncertain terms this was a family recipe, top secret. 'Milly-FEELY Sarah, MILLY FEELY'.

I saw her a few more times before I split with ex and she brought it up every single time.

at Millie Feely. Nothing more satisfying than arseholes showing themselves up to be idiots too!

There really are some great stories on this thread. It reminds me of some wedding threads a few years ago, which were full of tales of drink driven disasters and guests being offered no more than a tiny morsel of cheese and a spoonful of shepherd's pie, leaving them so hungry they went out to the nearest pub for a proper meal.

Not as bad as some of these example but MIL is a bit funny with portion sizes at times. She invited me over for lunch when I was on maternity leave after having DD2, so was breastfeeding as well. She made me some scrambled egg on toast - great, but only gave me one spoonful of egg on a single piece of toast and nothing else with it.

I went home after and made myself a second lunch!

I have a few.

1. The first time MIL came round to ours for dinner I’d cooked a 3 course meal and had really put in a lot of time and effort to make it right (fancy veg, nice piece of meat, pudding etc). Well crazy pants MIL insisted on eating in reverse so wanted her pudding first. It wasn’t quite ready so cue me having to serve starters to all the non crazy people while I’m finishing making desert for her. She then insisted on raiding my cupboards for cheese and crackers to eat while I served mains. She was too full for mains but did have her bruschetta and soup starter. She pulled out a Tupperware box for her mains later on and took them home. Bizarre.

2. SIL this time. We had her over for Christmas dinner and she ruined the whole day. She turned up late, insisted on holding everyone up from sitting down for dinner because she wanted to open all her presents (no she didn’t get us anything), she was rude to all the other guests and wouldn’t speak to me or my sister, insisted on taking over carving the meat (and I mean she actually snatched the knife out of my hand) because she’d seen bloody Lorraine Kelly do it on TV that morning (cue my poor bird being ripped to pieces and bird bone going everywhere) and then afterwards she ate all the brownies I’d made for one of the puddings. I did enjoy telling her they were 500 calories a piece though!

3. Same SIL at my wedding. Stole a load of food to take back home and cut my wedding cake into pieces for her colleagues (who I don’t know so weren’t invited) so I only got one tiny piece of my own wedding cake.

Both SIL and MiL are cut off now (for many things besides their weird behaviour at meals) and I couldn’t be happier!

4. My brother’s wedding. Everything was beige or yellow. Pasta, nuggets and fish fingers (in fact all the meat was in batter or breadcrumbs), pasties, corn on the cob etc. It was weird. Like a buffet for a bunch of 5 year old kids. Everyone was hungry afterwards because their wasn’t enough to go around either (doubly annoying as we’d all had to wait 2 hours to eat after getting to the reception).

I once went to a fancy Christmas dinner for a big oil company and the lady who was sat next to my BF of the time reached over quite the thing and cut up his steak for him. Turned out she had 4 under 5 at home, the youngest 2 were baby twins and she was very sleep deprived, poor woman was mortified but it was honestly quite funny in a sweet way. The bf for his credit kept telling her not to worry, she had saved him a job.

The most dramatic dp was one we hosted.
We'd moved into a new house about 6 months prior. We'd started to make friends with people at the local pub and thought it would be nice to invite them over.
So, there are 8 of us in total and as we've not known everyone for that long my husband asks one of the guys what he does for work and then asks what his degree is in.
The guy says "I didn't finish my degree as I had to go away"
My husband jokingly says "What, at Her Majesty's pleasure?"
The guy says "Yes"
Then his wife burst into tears and ran into the kitchen.

Turns out he'd been inside for 4 years for holding up a post office with a fake sawn-off shotgun.

It was a memorable evening.
We didn't invite them around again.

My story isn't anywhere near as crazy as some of these

Anyway, DH and I were invited to a friend's house for lunch. We were told they were doing a roast and asked to come at 1pm. Thinking that the very latest we'd be served the roast would be around 2pm, we purposely didn't have a big breakfast, as we were expecting a full roast, pudding etc at lunch time.

We arrived a 1pm. Invited in, offered drinks etc, all good. After an hour or so, a tiny bowl of teeny tiny nibbles were brought out and passed around. Although we were quite hungry at this stage, we didn't eat much as a) we were expecting a roast at any moment and b) we didn't want to look greedy as it really was a very small bowl.

The afternoon went on, more drinks offered, nothing mentioned about food - we just kept thinking ' oh it must be lunch time any minute'. Being British and also not knowing the couple terribly well, I didn't feel I could ask when the food was coming!

The roast was eventually brought out at about 5.30pm, with not one word of apology or explanation. If I had known when we arrived at 1pm that they weren't planning on feeding us for several hours, I would've asked for some toast when we arrived!

I did actually wonder if we had got the time wrong, but checked emails afterwards and it definitely said come for lunch at 1pm!

@BlueFishRedFish

me and dh went to one years ago - very boisterous and we only knew the host and no one else. There were 10 people there and the host was single and everyone else bar us was single.

dh and I were not seated together and we arrived with other people so weren't properly introduced and as we sat down, dh commented on a picture on the wall which he was convinced was by a famous artist. A bloke sitting about 2 away from him disputed this and said it definitely wasn't and they started a fairly vociferous (and loud) debate about who the artist was for about 10 mins. Dh then got up to go to the loo and say hi to the host who was in the kitchen. At which point, another man at the table said 'who the fuck is that prick, does anyone know?' and I was about to open my mouth when someone else said 'what a complete and utter arsehole, who comes into a house like this and starts talking like that' and everyone nodded agreement etc. Dh came back and everyone shut up and he sat down and said 'oh sorry everyone, I didn't introduce myself - I'm dh and this is my wife'.

At which point the entire table turned and looked at me and people went red and started looking at their shoes and the rest of the dinner was a v sombre affair

Amazing.

I've a couple but neither of them were bad, really, and were all dealt with with good humour!

One was a friend who was well known for being a bit dodgy in the cooking department. She called me up and said she'd been given a salmon, and how should she cook it? And what was she supposed to do with this huge fish? I suggested she get a few friends round, so there were 6 of us in the end. I went round early to help, having told her how to cook the fish.
Get there, helping with everything, fish comes out of the oven and it's not a salmon at all, it's a small rainbow trout!! We had about an inch of fish each, and had to top up with spuds and veg. Good laugh about that one!

Another one was when I was working in the home counties - a lovely new colleague, who was Scottish, joined us and invited a few of us to supper. We were invited for 7pm, and assumed food would be about 8. 8pm came and went - no food. Because we were all driving, we couldn't plough into the alcohol, so we just sat, making conversation and eating through the nuts that were provided (tiny snack bowl). Food eventually came out at 10:30pm - turned out it was a cultural misunderstanding and that supper actually DID mean "supper" as opposed to "dinner", which some people we knew called supper. Was a bit too tired to do it justice, although it was very nice!

@24hoursfromtulsa

My story isn't anywhere near as crazy as some of these

Anyway, DH and I were invited to a friend's house for lunch. We were told they were doing a roast and asked to come at 1pm. Thinking that the very latest we'd be served the roast would be around 2pm, we purposely didn't have a big breakfast, as we were expecting a full roast, pudding etc at lunch time.

We arrived a 1pm. Invited in, offered drinks etc, all good. After an hour or so, a tiny bowl of teeny tiny nibbles were brought out and passed around. Although we were quite hungry at this stage, we didn't eat much as a) we were expecting a roast at any moment and b) we didn't want to look greedy as it really was a very small bowl.

The afternoon went on, more drinks offered, nothing mentioned about food - we just kept thinking ' oh it must be lunch time any minute'. Being British and also not knowing the couple terribly well, I didn't feel I could ask when the food was coming!

The roast was eventually brought out at about 5.30pm, with not one word of apology or explanation. If I had known when we arrived at 1pm that they weren't planning on feeding us for several hours, I would've asked for some toast when we arrived!

I did actually wonder if we had got the time wrong, but checked emails afterwards and it definitely said come for lunch at 1pm!

This one would have confused me enough to prompt questions.

Lunch = a light usually cold meal eaten at noon.

Roast = Dinner, which in the north can be noon but in the south is usually served as the hot meal in the evening (unless it was sunday or xmas)

1pm = after lunch/dinner time and an invite after that time usually means you are expected to have eaten already.

If they invited you for 'Dinner' I would say it was misinterpreted and it was all just a miscommunication since the word can mean different things in different areas but if they said 'lunch' I would be confused as to why it was after lunch time and not lunch food and would probably have ask.

What country do you live in, mam0918?

In the UK a roast is usually a lunchtime meal, traditionally served around 1pm or 2pm.

Lunch never means a cold meal, unless you're an office worker eating a sandwich. I might make a cold lunch if I was alone at home pottering around and wasn't hungry, but I would never serve a cold lunch for guests unless it was boiling hot.

Noon is fairly early for lunch. 1pm is pretty standard lunchtime in the UK. If I was invited for lunch at lunchtime I'd certainly expect a proper full meal.

A roast is a description of the meal, not the time it’s served, surely? I always clarify time as a southerner now living in the north

Not dinner party, but some stories have reminded me of my dad who is a decent cook, but is one of those who starts to prep his meals when he gets hungry. One memorable occasion, we’d driven for four hours with baby twins, got there after lunch but before dinner. Dad had waxed lyrical about this beautiful piece of beef he was going to cook for us.

It’s getting later and later, no sign of food prep, no oven going on - and I’m breastfeeding twins so pretty ravenous all the time. I think about 7pm I had to ask him when we were planning on dinner as I was getting hungry and needed a snack to keep me going - 930pm we ended up eating! Luckily dad had plenty of crisps to keep me going

He’s much better now although like his mum he terribly under caters for large dinners, so when there’s mine and my siblings families we’ll often only get one spud each

@memberofthewedding

Back story - I was again working with a colleague whom I had "leapfrogged" in the hierarchy. Lets call her Glenys. When I began in the organization Glanys was my senior by virtue of having been there years. But she was unqualified. We got on well and I even invited her to my birthday night out. Everyone was invited, even my boss who politely declined as he would have been the only man. However I was brought up to believe that it was the height of rudeness to leave one person out. Then Glenys was transferred elsewhere.

Fast forward a few years. I had been sponsored by the employer for a fast track course which would lead to my being fully qualified in a profession. Ex colleague Glenys made it clear she deeply resented me. For my 6 month placement the head of dept had assigned me tasks which were normally hers. It was part of my training. I was also allowed a "private study" day to attend classes and she resented that as well. There were a few minor clashes where she tried to make things awkward for me and I had to go to the HOD to sort things out.

In my final two weeks I became aware that Glenys was having a "flat warming" party to which she had invited everyone in the department (even the HOD) other than me. She deliberately did it within ear shot.

I decided to crash the party to see if she would challenge me, and arrived with 2 colleagues. Of course she could not say anything in front of the other guests as it would have made her look a real dick. I would simply have said "Oh sorry Glanys, there must have been a miscommunication. I heard you talking about the party and naturally assumed it was a general invitation. It never occurred to me that someone would be rude enough to leave one person deliberately out."

I even proposed a toast to thank her for her hospitality and wish her luck in her new home. She looked like she had wet herself and it had gone hard. I know I spoiled her evening.

The final week of my placement I organized a staff night out and made a point of inviting her, along with others in a group. She just turned on her heel and walked off. I never saw or worked with her again.

Honestly this post makes you sound absolutely horrible. She probably found it incredibly stressful having a junior promoted over her head whether you were qualified or not and was relieved to escape the humiliation with a transfer. However given she had worked there a long time she would have developed relationships with the rest of the team who she invited to her house for a party.

You then showed up to her house uninvited with two friends and ruined her evening there. That is unbelievably spiteful.

I was once the only person left out of a colleague's birthday party. I was disappointed to miss it but I assumed she must have had her reasons and didn't hold it against her.

We went to stay with some university friends for the weekend who had moved to the home counties after working for big bucks in the city. It was all very pleasant but perhaps indicated that the years had made us quite different people - and it was a friendship based on nostalgia rather than the present.

They had invited another couple - a colleague from work and her husband (also all in finance).

The drinks flowed before the meal and there was a lot of bragging about money, possessions and disparaging remarks about our jobs in the public sector. The work colleague friends seemed to be having a passive aggressive conversation about how they would take pleasure in destroying each other if they separated - it was a little boorish and odd.

However, when we sat down the husband of the work colleague said across the table in a very light tone, "So University friend, how long exactly have you been fucking my wife?"

It went downhill from there.

@Tooshytoshine please don’t leave it there. What happened next?

I’d like closure on that one too. Sod murder mystery weekends, you need who’s fucking who’s wife weekends.

It was awful.

They had been couple friends who had been on holidays and the wives were good friends. The accused friend just stood up and left - he took the dog for a walk for half an hour. As the colleagues husband explained the infidelity and how he had found out as we all are our food. It was all strangely British as politeness suppressed the drama. The wronged wife seemed to go into professional hostess game face mode and refused our protestations it was best we left for a hotel - there was no escape.

Our friend then came back and announced to the room that he was in love with other woman and leaving his wife for her. At which point he went and packed an overnight bag then left with her. We then ate the remainder of the food and got drunk with our stunned female friend and the wronged husband.

In the decade since they had a very acrimonious divorce and our friend married the woman he was having an affair with. She then cheated on him with a cafe owner which when he found out he drive his car into the front of the closed cafe. It was next to a jewellers so he was arrested for a poorly executed ramraid... He said it was a crime of passion and pleaded temporary insanity... They are still together.

His ex wife was a goddess and her ex friend is a very plain pinched woman, I genuinely can't see the attraction or how she invokes such passion.

We don't see much of them now...

My cat ran in with my massive bra on her head, it was a greyish white colour ( the bra not the cat). Went to the loo and she'd destroyed the toilet roll.

Several years ago. It was at my aunt's house, and a friend of hers wouldn't stop asking all night and talking about why I was so shy and quiet. I had only just met her that night, I was very young and she was much older than me, it was in a foreign language I wasn't fluent in and I did try to ask her some questions.
I left early and haven't seen her since, I thought she was so rude constantly saying that in front of everyone. Maybe she thought it would help me, but being shy and quiet is not some sort of disease.

1pm = after lunch/dinner time and an invite after that time usually means you are expected to have eaten already

Definitely not. If someone says "Come for lunch at 1pm" I'd expect to be sitting down by 2pm at the latest, and to have had drinks and snacks before that. I wouldn't have eaten my lunch at 12pm before I arrived, or expect to wait four hours or more to eat.

@ohforarainyday

What country do you live in, mam0918?

In the UK a roast is usually a lunchtime meal, traditionally served around 1pm or 2pm.

Lunch never means a cold meal, unless you're an office worker eating a sandwich. I might make a cold lunch if I was alone at home pottering around and wasn't hungry, but I would never serve a cold lunch for guests unless it was boiling hot.

Noon is fairly early for lunch. 1pm is pretty standard lunchtime in the UK. If I was invited for lunch at lunchtime I'd certainly expect a proper full meal.

I'm in the UK and I've served plenty of cold lunches in the summer.