To ask for your worst dinner party experiences?

[Smileandtheworldsmileswithyou]

I know there have been threads on this before, I just absolutely love them for some reason. These and the CF ones are the best! I'll start with mine. I had recently moved with my husband to a new country and my new boss invited me and a few other people from work to his house for dinner. When we arrived he was completely pissed, literally stumbling around drunk. He spent ages showing us a lizard on the wall which we all politely commented on, and waited and waited for the food...He then dropped a box of brownies all over the floor that another guest had brought as a gift and laughed about it for ages. Finally we were asked to sit down for dinner, but he said he couldn't carve the chicken so asked me to do it for him. He then came into the tiny kitchen to watch me try and carve it up and told me how I shouldn't worry, he would make sure I passed my probation at the end of the year. He then persuaded my husband to go in and finish off the job with the chicken before asking him if I was happy at work and if I liked him. We finally got to the table and he starts drinking my wine which I just ignore. He then tells everyone that he has made the bread rolls himself, even though I saw them in a packet in the kitchen. He told us a big elaborate tale about where he found the seeds for them. Dessert was finally served at around 1am, by which time everyone was desperate to get the hell out of there. He said we should take it in turns to host, funnily enough no one ever did take him up on that!

Not exactly a dinner party but when I was at secondary school the head tried to start up this weird new 'tradition' where if it was your birthday you were invited to eat your lunch on a 'top table' with him, the other unlucky birthday kids and a selection of staff. I think it was supposed to help us develop sophisticated conversation. Actually was bloody excruciating and everyone dreaded it. It wasn't even nice food. Just the same crappy old school dinners on posher plates.

Anyway when it came to my turn I was very nervous and shy and totally mortified to be made to sit next to the head. He was being all 'hostess with the mostest' and served us all in a silver service stylee

He was holding the meat on a platter and attempting to serve me some slices but he wasn't holding the platter level and all the meat juices started to pour out onto my lap. He didn't even notice he was doing it and I was dumbstruck as this river of dripping pooled in my skirt. Finally I managed to croak out 'err sir. It's dripping on my lap'

Then we were both mortified and he was ineffectually trying to mop me down with a napkin. I had to excuse myself and go home to change into a new skirt.

I didn't even get to miss the awful lunch. I had to go again the next week.

No exactly a dinner party, one NYE a couple invited me to theres, I was working an early on NYD so couldn't go and party etc. Not a party they said, but some pizza, beer, company etc. Four of us in total including the hosts.

They told me to come any time after 9. I arrived at about 10. They had already had their pizza, none left for me and I hadent eaten, and they had already finished the one bottle of cava that they had provided.

We spent two hours drinking tea and making polite chit chat to the middle aged neighbour who was the other guest,
I had bought some prosecco which we opened at midnight. I quickly made my excuses at about 0005 and went home!

Moved into our farm a few years ago and an older couple down the road invited us for dinner with their friends as our kitchen was being renovated and we mentioned when chatting that we were surviving on microwave meals. We arrived, had a lovely glass of wine in front of the fire with them and the evening was going wonderfully until the couple asked if it was okay to question our situation. We were confused but explained we'd been married 2 years and we were planning on making the farm our business (didn't know what to say). The couple looked repulsed for a moment before the husband said "Good God We thought you were father and daughter". They looked even more repulsed when Dh said "Well I'm old enough to be her Dad".(He's 17 years older than me) The friends had very strong opinions, said 'You realise you're technically a pedophile' (He's not, I was 19 when we met) We weren't invited back...

A group of us was invited to a friend's house for dinner when we were students. We arrived, and dinner was bubbling away, smelling great. No sign of our host. We eventually heard him screaming in the hallway of the flat and then the front door slamming shut. We never did find out what happened - think he'd taken an innocent comment his girlfriend made the wrong way and flew of the handle (not an uncommon event). The group of us stood around for a wee while then left - it seemed rude to help ourselves, or even let the girlfriend serve up so we cut our losses and ran.

There was the time we invited two of DP's colleagues round. I liked them, and enjoy cooking, so it was going to be a good evening. Except of course DP got stuck into the alcohol even before they arrived so fell asleep on the sofa straight after dinner. That was fun!

I had a seafood reaction after a pub lunch and spent all afternoon throwing up and went to bed shivering and feeling very ill. I had my suspicions that mussels didn't agree with me but this was the first time I had a proper unmistakable reaction.

It didn't help that we were actually moving house at the time and I had removal men I should have been directing. DP was left to cope on his own.

Anyway we'd been invited out to dinner by some very kind friends who thought I'd like to escape the chaos. I was feeling OKish by then so as we'd said yes the week before we felt we should go.

Main course was paella.

After years living in student-y flats, we finally got a jobs and a (joint) mortgage on a lovely cottage in the country. Aga, roses round the door, the works. I bought a set matching storage jars to sit on the open shelving...

Which is how I came to make white sauce using icing sugar rather than flour without realising what had happened.

I served the food and went back to the kitchen for something. Came back to a slight atmosphere in the dining room.

One mouth full was enough to know what was wrong. They were all manfully continuing to eat.

Bread and cheese, and wine, lots of lovely wine it was then.

My DH decided to invite his friend and his wife to brunch. DH decides to cook a full Scottish breakfast with Tattie scones, haggis slices etc. Friends wife is from Russia and asked if she could bring her parents. No problem we think. DH is out in the kitchen doing the cooking while I entertain the guests. Only problem was the parents didn't speak any language apart from their native Russian and i don't speak Russian. It was a long morning....

The elegant 3-course lunch party which still managed to leave us starving...

We'd driven a long way to meet DH's colleague and her husband for lunch at their house. Lovely people.

Starter was carrot and coriander soup. No bread, no problem.

With the main course we started to get a bit worried. Our hosts were busy working people and explained that they'd got a casserole from a local posh "fresh ready meal" place (they lived in an area full of well-off commuters, so this shop did good business). They hadn't used the shop before, so they hoped the meal would be OK. It was, in fact it was delicious... but absolutely tiny. Like a few small cubes of meat per person, some gravy, and maybe a shallot or button mushroom. It took up less than an eighth of the area of the dinner plate. No potatoes or side dishes, except for a giant bowl of salad leaves. We ate every leaf. NOBODY mentioned the fact that the meal was tiny; we all just said how nice it was. I can only assume they'd got a ready meal for 2 by mistake.

By now I was really hungry and praying for a good sturdy apple crumble and custard for dessert. But out came... a small fresh fruit salad. Without cream or ice cream. Very nice, but it really didn't fill a gap.

And then of course we couldn't leave for hours, because it was only 2.30pm and we had to sit and make conversation to try to drown the noise of our stomachs rumbling. I pinned my hopes on the box of chocolates which we'd brought over as a gift. But no, it remained in the kitchen, unopened.

Eventually we were able to leave. We drove out of earshot and DH and I simultaneously cried, "Oh God, I'm so hungry!!" We had to stop for a McDonalds on the way home.

I still don't know how the hosts managed on those tiny rations themselves. Maybe they ate before we arrived?

I was about 17, and had a new boyfriend. He invited me for dinner with his parents at their house. When I turned up, it was obvious they were in the middle of a row - we sat at the table, and they were saying 'can you ask your father to pass the salt', etc. to my boyfriend and his brother. Excruciating.

Anyway, as a distraction I decided - for reasons I still don't understand - to test the sharpness of my knife by running it across my palm. At home, our knives were usually pretty blunt. This one was not. I managed to slash my palm so deeply that it was dripping blood - but because of the unpleasant atmosphere, I didn't say anything, and just sat there quietly bleeding under the table - and eating one handed - until the meal was over.

Boyfriend and I didn't last - in fact, I forget his name now, but still remember where the house is!

Not a dinner party, but a cocktail party.

I was totally embarrassing. I went to this party with a group of female friends and we had been bemoaning our single status. I drank too much and waltzed up to a group of men, stuck my hand out and said ' We are from... and we are single'./

They froze. I turned around knowing i had dropped a clanger and saw all their various wives just glaring at me.

I have not idea what got into me (aside from way too many chardonnays). It's not actually me at all, as i am actually very shy.

My worst was the dinner party nightmare I used to have, when it was nearly 11 pm and the potatoes still weren’t cooked! 😱

My RL one was the time I’d spent ages making a salmon mousse for a starter - 2 couples coming for dinner - all beautifully decorated with slices of lemon and cucumber.
(NB all hygiene-freak MNers - do not read any further! I disclaim responsibility for heart attacks in anyone who fails to heed this warning!)

I put my beautiful mousse on the table and went to call them all to come, and during those few minutes when people finished their G&Ts or went for a wee, our dog (RIP) had managed to get up and take a delicate slurp out of the side of it.
Luckily they were all either doggy or very non-fussy types (I can’t cope with fussy people anyway) so cue much hilarity, and once I’d sliced off a good margin round that section, we had it anyway.

I’ll never forget the meal with the lovely couple in the lovely house; all gorgeous food, served in...fashionable portions. Delicious rare roast beef - one thin slice. Lovely crispy roast potatoes - two very small pieces. Spoonful of beautifully-cooked veg. As I was staring at my plate trying to hide my dismay, she said “oh! I forgot the Yorkshire puddings!” Yes! Thinks I, only to see them slide a tray of four absolutely tiny Yorkshires out of the oven. I didn’t even know you could make such a small amount of Yorkshire puddings.

Everything was perfectly cooked. But there was about two mouthfuls and I spent most of the time trying to chew a lot or I’d have finished half an hour before everyone else!

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER

My worst was the dinner party nightmare I used to have, when it was nearly 11 pm and the potatoes still weren’t cooked! 😱

My RL one was the time I’d spent ages making a salmon mousse for a starter - 2 couples coming for dinner - all beautifully decorated with slices of lemon and cucumber.
(NB all hygiene-freak MNers - do not read any further! I disclaim responsibility for heart attacks in anyone who fails to heed this warning!)

I put my beautiful mousse on the table and went to call them all to come, and during those few minutes when people finished their G&Ts or went for a wee, our dog (RIP) had managed to get up and take a delicate slurp out of the side of it.
Luckily they were all either doggy or very non-fussy types (I can’t cope with fussy people anyway) so cue much hilarity, and once I’d sliced off a good margin round that section, we had it anyway.

I am fairly fussy and I would have eaten it. :) (Carefully denuded of dog spit)

@Michaelbaubles

I’ll never forget the meal with the lovely couple in the lovely house; all gorgeous food, served in...fashionable portions. Delicious rare roast beef - one thin slice. Lovely crispy roast potatoes - two very small pieces. Spoonful of beautifully-cooked veg. As I was staring at my plate trying to hide my dismay, she said “oh! I forgot the Yorkshire puddings!” Yes! Thinks I, only to see them slide a tray of four absolutely tiny Yorkshires out of the oven. I didn’t even know you could make such a small amount of Yorkshire puddings.

Everything was perfectly cooked. But there was about two mouthfuls and I spent most of the time trying to chew a lot or I’d have finished half an hour before everyone else!

My aunt has eating disorders and she once made 6 salmon filletrs between 8 adults and 3 children. With green beans and nothing else.

Then she went into the bathroom and we all heard her throwing hers up again.

It was awful. She refuses help though (despite being a psychologist herself) and always tells everyone else what fat pigs they are for eating a proper meal.

@ChonkyLamp presumably they'd had breakfast and that was lunch?

If you're used to eating your main meal in the evening, what you've just described should be fine to keep you going till then.

(Tbf, I'm still grumbling over the 20-years-ago social lunch where we were given a bowl of soup and instructed to have only one roll and only one cube of cheese )

Uni mates, couple for ages, used to host fabulous bashes for years. Then they split up when we were all late 20s, very sad but totes amicable they insisted.

Female half of now ex couple threw a dinner party (she'd kept the flat, he'd moved out), & invited the usual mob, her new chap - who was lovely - & her ex with his new girlfriend because 'well we are still great mates! & obviously he'd like to catch up with you guys!'

It was all going ok, if mildly awkwardly, until it became increasingly apparent that the ex's new lady a) hated the hostess AND all of us & b) had taken considerable Dutch courage on board.

It culminated in her sticking her fork in the back of her boyfriend's hand, throwing her wine at the the hostess, his ex, & yelling that we could all fuck off.

Then she staggered out to the hall & simultaneously threw up & pissed herself.

They're still together! Tend to get missed off the 'bloke's old Uni friends having a get together' invite list 20 years' on, though.

Have not read any other posts yet but years ago a group of us that had met through a hobby were invited to a dinner in one of the girls homes. We all asked could we do anything or bring anything and told no, she was doing it all herself.

Onto the night we were fed turkey meal. It was mediocre at best but we all appreciated the time she had put in. We ate the food, drank the drinks we had all brought and then as we were all calling our cabs got told by the host 'oh before you go dont forget to pay me for the ingredients'. She then listed out what she bought, divided it by the 6 of us and charged us 35quid per person. I just paid her and left. We never met up again.

About six years ago dp and I had dinner at dp's friends house with him and his partner. He cooked an absolutely delicious dinner. She spent the whole time slagging everything off, apologising to us about how bad the food was and got thoroughly pissed. It was very embarrassing.

Theyre still together, both cheat on each other, still hate each other. They now have a baby together!

@FinallyHere

After years living in student-y flats, we finally got a jobs and a (joint) mortgage on a lovely cottage in the country. Aga, roses round the door, the works. I bought a set matching storage jars to sit on the open shelving...

Which is how I came to make white sauce using icing sugar rather than flour without realising what had happened.

I served the food and went back to the kitchen for something. Came back to a slight atmosphere in the dining room.

One mouth full was enough to know what was wrong. They were all manfully continuing to eat.

Bread and cheese, and wine, lots of lovely wine it was then.

Oh no, Finally - that reminds me of the Rachel's 'Beef trifle' Friends episode in reverse!!!

*ChonkyLamp presumably they'd had breakfast and that was lunch?

If you're used to eating your main meal in the evening, what you've just described should be fine to keep you going till then.*

But we'd had breakfast ourselves, and we normally have our main meal in the evening! For lunch I would normally just have a sandwich and a piece of fruit. And that's WAY more filling than this lunch was.

I honestly don't think I've managed to communicate just how small these portions were. Plus the only part with any real substance was the meat, and there was less than a mouthful of that.

They had a tank full of exotic fish, and by the time we left I was fantasising about hooking them out and grilling them.

The worst that I hosted was when I was very young and had a couple of friends and my future brother in law and his wife arriving to stay; it was the first time I had met them and they were rather 'smart London' bright young things.
I was nervous and wanted to do well but my hosting skills were still fledgling. I served an amazing melon and tomato starter with a lime and chilli sorbet. It was good.

Unfortunately, I was so nervous I drank gallons of red wine , which I wasn't used to. They quaffed it back like Ribena and it barely touched them. We laughed and I thought it was brilliant until my 9now) husband asked whether I needed help to bring the main course through. He asked what it was, as he couldn't smell anything. I went to the kitchen and burst into tears because I had completely forgotten to cook my pièce de résistance, a beef Wellington. It sat soggy and raw on the side.

To add to my shame my tears blocked my nose and I then had to rush off and spend the rest of the evening being very, very sick.
They had the starter, a good pudding and cheeseboard so weren't hungry, but I am not sure they have ever forgiven me.

Worst I have been to was where someone cooked corn on cob as the starter, fine. Then served themselves a main course and left the rest of us without anything telling us they had been in the garden all day, so were very hungry. They gave us blackcurrants from the garden for pudding; little black shiny bullets with bits of twig and leaves but nothing else.

Oh god not ‘dinner party’ exactly but just catering chaos.

Was dating a ‘social gorilla’ guy. The type who was still part of a 20 strong group from Uni.
All successful ish now and late 20’s/early 30’s.

Went off to a French villa owned by one of their parents, about 20 of us in total. All couples except one. Did a HUGE shop at the start. Lots of snacks and easy food, brill.

Got to the house and realised they expected to eat every single meal together. Every. Single. Meal!
Ofc no one was on the same timings and some people were going off to do water sports/local shops...etc so basically ended up just being breakfast and one big meal in the evening.

One night I’d done most the cooking. Been told ‘7pm’ to eat. Fine but I was starving and no lunch had been offered. (I was living on biscuits from my suitcase) 7pm comes and food is ready. Hot. Good.

3 of the girls arrive back wet from water sports. They want to shower and change before dinner. Off they go.
Couple of the guys decide to move the whole thing outside. Food is waiting and waiting.

8pm they’re still not down from the shower. I’m ravenous. Keep being told to wait. ExP is acting like I’m being unreasonable.

I flipped, made myself a hot cheese and tomato baguette, took the bits I wanted from the food i cooked, ate in the bedroom and read my book for the rest of the night.

Later Exp told me the group had thought ‘my food was ok but kinda dry and cold’ - they’d eaten it at 9pm!!

I'm now a fair cook, but as a student in Italy I had two absolutely disastrous dinner parties. The one that went better (!) was when I tried to make fresh tagliatelle carbonara (not a thing that exists, for Italians) and everybody had a plate of cold, congealed pasta with traces of scrambled egg.

The one that didn't go so well was when I made curry (which I do make well) but in 1990s Italy not many people were used to eating curry, and one friend was actually sick on the table as her plate was removed.

I also remember bringing a dessert (chocolate cake) to an event; I had borrowed the non-stick cake tin from my then boyfriend's mother, who hated me, and managed to thoroughly scratch it, and also realised as I arrived that there were several long hairs in the icing. It was the set-solid kind of icing, so when I removed the hairs, unhappy evidence of same was clearly obvious in the icing.

There was nowhere to go from there but up!

A friend of my husband still lived with his mum (this was 20+ years ago). He decided to have a dinner party when his mum and stepfather were on holiday. He made bolognese sauce before we arrived and it looked and smelled really nice. Unfortunately he was already bored with his dinner hosting intentions by the time the guests arrived.

He hadn't thought about starters but rummaged in the cupboards and gave us all a couple of rich tea biscuits with our wine. Then he ... disappeared . Someone went to look for him and he was having a pint in the pub over the road and said we were all getting on his nerves.

Someone else took the initiative, boiled up some pasta and heated the sauce. It was very nice. He did not return for some time by which time H and I had gone home. But apparently he was roaring drunk, told the remaining guests they were boring bastards, then pulled out his nob and waved it in their faces "to get things going". I'm not sorry I missed that bit.

Re the dinner parties with no food, we once went to a friends’s house for dinner. He had just moved in and not only was there no food, but no chairs or table and practically no furniture. We had all brought lots of wine etc so sat around on bits that he found -wondering if we had misunderstood. Eventually he asked if we were hungry and dialled up some pizzas. Really odd. We were not students /all middle-aged couples.