To ask how you got the confidence to go to the gym

[squiddybear]

Hi all

I'm obese, the last 4 months I've worked hard and lost over 2 stone but have a long way to go. We have had a brand new gym open a 3 min walk from us I can afford the membership and location is ideal. However (this is especially for the bigger girls out there) how did you get the confidence to go. I am so worried that because if my size I will get laughed at that I'm anxious to even go for a look around. I am scared I will get bullied by the gym bunnies that I've seen walk in there these last few days.

Part of me is wondering if I just by my own exercise bike and treadmill and work out at home?

AIBU to ask how you have got the confidence to go or whether I'd be better off buying the machines instead?

You will not get laughed at.
Remember one thing. People give much less fuck about others than we may think. Most people will never even register you.

Go and have a look around first. Speak to the staff, see how people are. You will see how you feel about it after.

Don't just look at the brand new gym, look at all the local ones and find one that makes you feel comfortable and welcome. There's one near me I wouldn't consider as it's full of posers but the less high tech (OK, rather old!) one was perfect for me, as were the older staff who cared, not the 21 year old boys!

You know OP. I wouldn't be looking at a new gym to plod on in on your own. I'd look for a local place with classes with a PT who trains in weights.

You'll not look back, trust me.

I promise that everyone will be so supportive. A few of the ‘very’ thin girls at my gym have eating disorders and anxiety and feel terribly self conscious- they shouldn’t as everyone is on the same journey of health and self improvement.
Don’t be afraid to talk to the trainers and other members. You’ll find that you have more in common with the other members than you think.

Thanks all. We don't have another gym for miles as the old ones were closed when this one opened. I will have a look round though at those further afield to see the atmosphere. I'm determined that I am going to loose weight so it needs to be the right fit

Hi squiddybear (brilliant user name!)

Well done on the weight loss, that's amazing.

I was pretty overweight when I started going to the gym. The first thing I did was classes (Bodypump was my favourite - can't stand anything that involves jumping about). Everyone was really supportive and friendly, absolutely no judgement, but I was still a bit nervous about working out on the main floor, especially the weights and stuff as I had no idea what I was doing.

I decided to do a few sessions with a personal trainer to give me an idea what I should be doing and how to use all the equipment. I loved it so much that I carried on training with her for a few years, but even those first few sessions gave me the confidence to go to the gym alone and work away.

2 years later I'd lost 3.5 stone, got really toned and the weights room is my favourite place.

(A couple of nice pairs of leggings and coordinating tops also help you feel the part!)

Congrats on your weight loss.

Look around the gyms and do a bit of research. They should be doing offers to attract new customers around now so you ought be able to get a free session or at least a look round with one of the trainers.

Look who is coming in and going out - if they all look like gym bunnies with matchy matchy leggings/tops etc, probably it's not for you. If they look like all sorts of people, that should be fine.

One of the best gyms i went to had a floor for the ladies, all lovely new equipment etc, and on the men's floor it was the same equipment but older. I used the men's because i went with my DH quite often, and i knew my routine on that kit, so when he stopped i carried on. And they were lovely. There was an overweight chap who started, and the muscle chaps would keep an eye out in case he was doing the exercises wrong and might hurt himself, etc. They would give him (and me) tips and it was lovely.

So you really need to have a look at the clientele at the times you think you'll be going.

Good luck!

I had a cruise booked & thinking about that kept me going, I went at least 3 times a week & did mainly cardio stuff, walking on the treadmill, both types of bikes & rowing with probably 20 minutes of weights in the middle. I always went on my way home from work because I knew if I once got home I wouldn't go out again. If I had a Monday off work or I could finish early I went to a legs, bums, tums & relaxation class. In the 9 months from booking the cruise I lost nearly 5 stone even though I was still going out drinking & eating rubbish, I just wish I was still well enough to go now. Don't worry about the gym bunnies, there are all shapes & sizes there, take some headphones & get some loud music on to motivate you.

As weird as it sounds local to me the real bodybuilding gym is the best place to go. I was overweight and lost 4 stone through this gym. Everyone was just so supportive, the owners have a policy if anyone was rude they would bar them. Personally I would book a few session with a trainer at a gym so you can get an idea of exercises to do etc..... don't go for the all singing all dancing new gyms. The one I go to is not all modern, they don't have showers and the changing room is a cubicle with a curtain (most people go already changed) but it's the best place in the world for getting fit.

They'll all be so self-obsessed that they won't even give you a glance. And I say that as large person who has been to a gym. (I hated it. But not for these reasons. I'm just a natural lazy arse!)
And come on ... how can anyone bully you at a gym? I promise you - there won't be a gang of thin, mean girls elbowing you off the treadmill!

I go to the gym a lot, mainly classes but the gym too if need be. I was overweight and anxious when I started. I realised quickly that very few people are looking at you, they really are only interested in themselves and their techniques and their workouts.

I’ve always found everyone really friendly and if you’re unsure about something, usually those gym bunnies are super keen to show off their skills helping you, and are full of encouragement as they want everyone to enjoy it as much as they do. I’ve never, ever, in 20years of training every day, seen or heard anything that wasn’t 100% encouragement. I’ve never seen anyone snigger or judge and no one would put up with that.

Go, you won’t regret it, let us know how you get on.

@squiddybear

Thanks all. We don't have another gym for miles as the old ones were closed when this one opened. I will have a look round though at those further afield to see the atmosphere. I'm determined that I am going to loose weight so it needs to be the right fit

Yanno what I found OP? Strong is the new skinny. Weight loss is just something that happens and you don't really notice until you're hitching your bottoms up.

No one will laugh at you OP. I used to worry so much about this - sometimes I still do. However I have just as much right to be in a gym and take up the space I need to as other people. If someone is sad and unkind enough to laugh about that then that really is their problem and not yours. I appreciate not everyone has my mindset though, it is hard. You will be fine, the first time is the scariest but then it becomes normal!

I am normal weight and go to the gym every day. I honestly never notice anyone around me. I go to a private gym and there are all shapes, sizes and ages. I do t think anyone would bat an eye lid. We are all there to keep fit and healthy including you OP.

Honestly you won't get bullied, no one will be paying attention. I'm not obese but I am overweight ( and was significantly more so when I joined my gym). People are concentrating on their own workout. And I find going to the gym has a really positive impact on my mood

People in the gym are usually so self focussed they won’t even notice you.

Genuinely, if I see someone that is obese at the gym, I don't think anything of it - except the dude that cranked up the resistance so hard on the machines I was worried he would do himself an injury.

I go in a regular slot, there are usually 6 or so of us there (covid rules). There is a spritely elderly woman that I chat to, a overweightish couple, a very very fit lady and a youngish man that does weights. All sorts attend a gym, there aren't that many young and fantastic looking gym bunnies in my experience of many year's membership.

Give it a go. Do they do trial memberships or pay as you go sessions? Like everything, the prospect is worse than the reality. If you are joining as a member, most gyms offer an appointment to make a personal program that will give you a better idea of what to do.

I promise that I've never ever once felt like people were paying any attention to me in the gym! I had 5 stone to lose when I started going and now I have 3 and a bit to go. But I'm so so strong now! I'm flipping lifting heavy weights and deadlifting and stuff I'd never have done in a million years before. I got a personal trainer who has made all the difference.

The gym that I used to go to had women from size 4 to size 30, genuinely. Being strong is an amazing feeling. Wear comfy things, decent bra especially! Enjoy, and well done on your weight loss, OP.

No one cares what other gym users look like, people will notice you, but they’ll just think “oh shes on the rower” sometimes if a gym users form is bad etc another gym user may give you tips, but remember not all gym users actually know good form etc.

Get yourself a few PT sessions, you need a personalised plan to help you meet your goal. Not only does this mean you will be shown how to use all equipment, they will play specific work outs for you to follow.

Without a PT you walk into a gym and think “I have no idea what I’m doing” and you may as well set the £40 for your membership on fire.

Set a goal that isn’t easy, isn’t impossible but is achieveable.

I've been an exercise avoider most of my life, I was also afraid of going to the gym and that people would think I had no idea what I was doing and so unfit. I had a personal trainer who really helped me get some confidence.

I also use the Jillian Michaels My Fitness app. There are programmes in there for absolute beginners thorough to more challenging routines. I actually found this really helped as there are video demos of all the moves so I could figure them out in my own time, and have been able to get to a good level of confidence and fitness on my own without needing to even go to the gym. I just have an exercise mat and dumbbells. (I actually started just with the mat and some tins of baked beans! But quickly progressed.)

Hi OP. I'm one of those people you might see in a gym and think is looking down at you - I'm small and Id be seen as fairly confident in the gym. I just thought I'd share that anytime I see a new person in the gym, especially someone who looks like they're new to exercise, far from being snooty I give an internal little cheer! Regular gym bunnies are happy for anyone to join their hobby and feel the benefits of it.

I used to be very nervous going to the gym as I felt it was obvious I wouldn't know what I was doing. For that reason, it's worth seeing if you can book a PT or an intro session just as a one off to show you how equipment works or give you a routine. Chances are if they give you a routine it won't be great, but anything that gets you in and gets you moving while you acclimatise to a gym environmental is good. Once you're comfortable there you can start thinking about what you enjoy and what your goals are/what you need to do to get there.

Without a PT you walk into a gym and think “I have no idea what I’m doing” and you may as well set the £40 for your membership on fire.

Umm no
People can use all the cardio equipment without being shown and most of the weight machines too. I do agree that a PT will level up your gym game hugely but it's not necessary to get benefit from using the gym

Just go. Focus on yourself. Ignore everyone else.

Everyone in a gym tends to be doing their own thing & not bothered by other people in my experience.

Also if I did have any opinion at all about an obese person in a gym it would just be good on you for doing something about it,

@CodenameVillanelle

Without a PT you walk into a gym and think “I have no idea what I’m doing” and you may as well set the £40 for your membership on fire.

Umm no
People can use all the cardio equipment without being shown and most of the weight machines too. I do agree that a PT will level up your gym game hugely but it's not necessary to get benefit from using the gym

Sadly I sometimes see those people, like the guy recently who didn’t know how to clip properly or the lady who didn’t know how to reduce resistance on the rower.

Lots of gyms have a compulsory PT induction session to avoid poor use. Not only can people damage machines, they can easily cause themself an injury.