To ask how you got the confidence to go to the gym

[squiddybear]

Hi all

I'm obese, the last 4 months I've worked hard and lost over 2 stone but have a long way to go. We have had a brand new gym open a 3 min walk from us I can afford the membership and location is ideal. However (this is especially for the bigger girls out there) how did you get the confidence to go. I am so worried that because if my size I will get laughed at that I'm anxious to even go for a look around. I am scared I will get bullied by the gym bunnies that I've seen walk in there these last few days.

Part of me is wondering if I just by my own exercise bike and treadmill and work out at home?

AIBU to ask how you have got the confidence to go or whether I'd be better off buying the machines instead?

I wish I could reassure you but I'm sorry to say that I am personally having an issue with a small group of men in my gym including one of the trainers.
I had suspected the trainer was discussing me with his male clients while I was working out near them as he kept talking laughing and looking over but I wondered if I was being paranoid.
Also one of his friends who is a bit leery would look over my way if I was on the rower & whisper to his mate,

I tried to ignore it but I was in the weights area before last lockdown, the only woman there, & the trainers friend pointed at me before he exited the gym & made a comment about my chest being on the larger size.
I was so shocked I said nothing, the men round me looked surprised too, I went home upset.

I wear a decent sports bra & loose fitting top but I probably am one of the most curvy up top women in the gym unfortunately & that will only change with more dieting & exercise!

If I report this trainer to management I have to be more than 100% sure he's guilty & all I have is one comment by his mate.
I'm more inclined to actually say something myself to anyone who makes a rude comment again. But without losing my shit.

I think I could change gyms but it's a tiny group in a large gym & it could happen anywhere. So Im going to get my courage together & go back, I'm not going to let them stop me.

Thanks everyone. I submitted my enquiry form yesterday after all your encouragement and hopefully will hear back this week! Will update you on how it goes

Well done for getting it booked in! Please don't worry, I've been a member at 4/5 gyms over the years at everything from a size 8 - 18 and have never experienced any negativity.

Also please don't assume those gym bunnies in all the "gear" are judgemental. A year ago I was 6 stone heavier and nervous of how unfit I was. I'm now a size 8, really toned and love wearing nice gym gear and a lot of people would assume I've always been like that, but it's getting past those initial nerves and continuing to go to the gym that's got me there!

OP if people glance at you, please don’t assume you know what they are thinking.

When I see a very heavy person working out, it makes me feel guilty because I can see how much harder than me they are working and with more self discipline (my weight is going up not down 😬). I’m not judging, I’m envying a self discipline I seem to have lost.

When I glance at someone carrying a screaming toddler I’m not judging their parenting, I’m remembering.

When my eyes catch on someone breastfeeding an older toddler in public and I can’t help but glance back, I’m not judging extended breastfeeding, I’m grieving something I’ll never do again.

People looking at you aren’t always judging you. I glance at people because they have really nice eyes, or a coat I think would look good on me, or they look just like someone I last saw twenty years ago, or because I’m staring into space thinking “damn I forgot to return that top that doesn’t fit and now I’m out of time” and they walk into the space I’m staring at.

I wasn't large as such but I wasn't fit either. I'm getting there now. I have a PT.
I remember one day holding the door open for a lady and she said oo no you go first it's my first time!
We all feel like that. There's plenty of things I still don't know how to do but it's the best thing ever.
When I see someone just starting out, particularly if they are maybe a bit bigger or whatever, I think good for you. At my old gym I used to see an older bloke and he had some kind of tube thing attached to him so he clearly had health issues.
After I'd trained for a while my PT gave me a weighed jacket thing to train in.. Bloody hell it was hard... But the weight of it was what I'd lost! Made me realise how much harder everything is when you're a bit heavier.
When I'm training I don't look at anyone else. If you stand back and look you'll probably see that they're not looking either