To ask how you got the confidence to go to the gym

[squiddybear]

Hi all

I'm obese, the last 4 months I've worked hard and lost over 2 stone but have a long way to go. We have had a brand new gym open a 3 min walk from us I can afford the membership and location is ideal. However (this is especially for the bigger girls out there) how did you get the confidence to go. I am so worried that because if my size I will get laughed at that I'm anxious to even go for a look around. I am scared I will get bullied by the gym bunnies that I've seen walk in there these last few days.

Part of me is wondering if I just by my own exercise bike and treadmill and work out at home?

AIBU to ask how you have got the confidence to go or whether I'd be better off buying the machines instead?

Oh and I speak as a skinny, sporty type

I did clubbersize, a dark room and glow sticks made me less self conscious. Then when I felt less self conscious being a sweaty mess in front of people I asked a friend to come to an aerobics class with me - with lights on. Then eventually I just felt braver and went in to the actual gym part, as it’s council they gave me a plan for what to do on each machine saying they would update it 12 weeks later. Now I go without thinking and do what I fancy!

Most gyms have induction (typically mandatory) so will insist they try to show you how to use the equipment properly.

Everyone at the gym is a success story because they got out the house & are trying to better themselves OP.

OP you are much braver than me.

I ran by myself, then race for Life, then parkrun, now run 10k comfortably but I still won't go in a gym. I still haven't got over the one at school.

I go to the gym a lot, when I first started took me ages to get the confidence to join in the classes, once I did I've never looked back, best thing I did. Please let me reassure you no one will laugh and there will certainly be no bullying, go for it- you won't regret it.

My gym is quite empty at the moment due to Covid so I honestly feel like the only “fat” person there. The rest are all gym bunnies or muscular men in the weights area.
However not a single person looks twice at me unless we’re actually chatting. I think some of the comments upthread are quite rude (about everyone being self obsessed). All of the people I speak to are friendly and enjoying their hobby.

I am much bigger post having children, but feel less self conscious in the gym. If I saw someone who was noticeably large I would think good on them as many people are intimidated by the gym.

Go and look round, they may offer you a free day pass to try it out. Ask 're induction and if they have personal trainers. If they do, they often have profiles so you can see what each pts experience and interests are. I would sign up for 6 sessions or something with a pt and have a goal that you want to feel confident coming to the gym, knowing how to use machines, lift free weights etc. Once you know what you are doing you will feel better.

I'm a size 16 and I go. I wear leggings and long tops and I just do it. No one cares and no one looks, the only people they look at are the young skinny ones. It's actually quite nice being invisible and just doing your thing, it's more private. I do classes as well and they are full of all shapes and sizes and ages. Just go for it!!

No one is looking at anyone else in the gym I assure you. Gyms are mixes of all shapes and sizes. You have as much right as anyone to go, go and enjoy it, no one can judge anyone for trying to better their health! Good for you OP!

Op i promise you that you'll get nothing but support. I'm a powerlifter and proper gym bunny. I practically live there! There are many overweight people in my gym. They get nothing but admiring looks and encouragement.
We were all new in there once and for someone thats overweight it's even harder to make that first step so we totally get it.
Good luck!

Congratulations on your success this far!

I joined the gym alone last year (no friends nearby who wanted to join) and I was so worried about it to the point I was getting really upset at the thought of actually having to go in alone.

I'm not, and wasn't, overweight but I was still incredibly nervous about it. A year on I have confidence to go and work out alone without batting an eye.

I've noticed a LOT of people seem to go in pairs so I wonder if more people are anxious to be there alone than you'd think.

I've never seen any sort of bullying or disrespectful behaviour in my gym at all and there are people of all fitness levels there.

I agree with some of the comments above that it might be worth getting a plan in place or getting a couple of PT sessions so you can use that as a structure for your workouts. I was using classes to begin with then started seeing a PT. I'm so glad I did because now I can go to the gym and fill an hour using what I've learned from classes and 121 sessions.

You won't get laughed at or bullied AT ALL, I absolutely promise you. If anyone comments on you at all (which they won't because everyone is wrapped up in doing their own thing) it will be to think how amazing you are! Everyone knows it takes effort and dedication to lose weight and they will admire you if anything. Loads of people that go to the gym either are or have been overweight, or minimally know how it feels to want to achieve fitness goals. No one will be laughing, on the contrary you'll get loads of support. People that have the determination to go to the gym and stick with it, after the year we've had, are badasses well done on your weight loss!

I got a cheap bike off eBay, a yoga mat and the Peloton app (£12.99 p/m) instead. I know some people like the Les Mills app as well. It's SO much easier than the gym - a 30 min class really is 30 mins, no effort to leave the house, pack a bag, wear what I want and jump on at whatever time I feel like. I'd recommend that rather than any gym. You can obv buy their own bike but its £2k - mine was £70!

Wow some nasty comments on here. If you saw Dd (23) I am sure you would sneer and call her a ‘gym bunny’. She’s 5ft 7 tall size 8 slim and toned and likes wearing all of the trendy gear.
However she is one of the nicest kindest people I have ever met in my life. She would be friendly and welcoming to you and love to chat.
So please do not judge other people, it works both ways.

Get yourself some good quality comfy gym wear that you feel happy in and headphones (so you can zone out). Ask for an intro session on how to use the machines, I’d need one despite being a member of several gyms over the years. I wouldn’t avoid joining the newer gym at all, we joined one and the staff are wonderful. We’ve seen the place grow and everyone will be getting used to the equipment and layout at the same time as you. People are there to be strong and fit, to work on themselves, not judge others. One day you will be one of those people you consider a gym bunny - fit, confident and strong!

I got cancer and nearly died. Now I couldn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks of how I look.

OP, your life is short and precious. Don’t waste it on these kinds of thoughts. Live. Just live.

I've been a gym goer for about fifteen years. I've probably been a member of about four different gyms and I guarantee you no one will laugh or look down their nose at you. I would admire someone trying to look after her health. I do a very intensive HIIT class on Saturday mornings. When the gym reopened, a very large lady started coming. She really struggled but she came every week. On Saturday, I noticed she's lost a significant amount of weight and is becoming more and more able to keep up. I really admire her.

I've been a member of loads of gyms from council run ones to more expensive, plush ones. I've seen every type of person in them including gym bunnies, huge buff guys, elderly people, fat people, thin people, disabled people, people recovering from serious injury..etc. No one ever seems to pay other people any attention in there.

Me and DH joined the local gym a few years ago and had starter session with one of the instructors/PTs to set us each an hour long routine and show us how to properly use the big scary machines we wanted to try. It really helped me feel like I knew what I was doing and not feel quite as conspicuous.

All gyms are not equal. I went for a while to a cheaper “no contract “gym and was frequently the oldest and largest in the classes. I still did them but I noticed it. I wouldn’t say It was the friendliest place I’ve been to either - a lot of younger people and guys sitting around on the weight benches on their phones. ( annoying if you’re waiting to use them). I’ve since moved to a more expensive independent gym which has opened up which is a completely different experience. It’s a lot quieter and the demographic is broader with all shapes and sizes. It’s the only gym I’ve been to where I’ve got to know other people including the owner. I would personally treat yourself to some personal training sessions if you can afford it to give yourself a boost. My PT is young but extremely friendly. He also books me automatically into the classes he teaches ( to make me go) so I get a place. The work you do now will pay dividends for your future health & well being.

I think you'll be pleasently surprised. People who use gyms admire new users who have got off the sofa to get fit. There's a real sense of "well done you" and to be honest, most are absorbed in their own workouts. I second the suggestion to book a the first few sessions with the gym's trainer. You'll feel very protected and look like you are taking it seriously.
Well done on your weightloss. It's amazing to achieve it during lockdown.

No one will notice you or be interested in what you are doing.

If you can find a workout buddy it will help your confidence no end; my DP took me to his quite serious gym and I found it intimidating the first time but after that it was great. Also, he said the vast majority of the staff and clients don’t care who works out as long as they are polite and put their weights back 😁 Anyone being a judgey dick wouldn’t last long at our gym! Their PT staff also seem amazing, it’s a good idea to book some sessions to give you confidence.

Honestly years ago I was so unsure of the gym and convinced people would stare at me. I found a Boxercise class that I loved and started by going with a couple friends. I loved it as I felt myself get stronger even if I didn't lose a huge amount of weight to begin with. My friends kept flaking out on the class but I truly began to love it and I made myself go on my own. Noone stared at me, noone commented and after a while I realised that I actually prefer to to to the gym on my own now. I can concentrate on myself and work harder. I then went on to do a bit on the gym machines as I didn't want to waste my membership doing one class a week. Once again noone cared. Noone stared. In fact most people there went on their own so weren't there to gossip about others. I moved towns shortly after so had to go to a gym on my own. Due to winning a couple competitions and my money situation changing I have been to 4 gyms in my current area and even in the more serious gyms, even those bodybuilders really didn't care who else was there. I now love Boxercise, body Combat (especially Les mills) and Boxercise classes. You get all shapes and sizes of people! In the last 2 years I have lost 2.5 stone and would love to lose a bit more.

If you are judged at a gym, do tell a member of staff. And remember those people must have pretty crap lives to judge a stranger trying to better themselves.

Amazing and well done on your weight loss journey!! I’m not over weight and quite slim do you know what I think when I notice anyone overweight...they are amazing!

I took my over weight friend with me and she really got into the gym. Have you got someone you can go with for three first few sessions?

To be honest most people don’t care, are sweaty and only thinking of there self. I am normally quite sweaty and stink, I’m more worried people think I smell bad or hitting a new PB than thinking about others.

You have got this! I hope you sign up / do a session and come back to update us all!