Aibu to feel pissed off by this..

[Survivingastorm]

Ex and I don't have a good relationship but we do have a beautiful 2 yr old dd. There is a lot of history and in comparison to some of the things he has done this isn't the worst but has for some reason pissed me off.

He has said to me I don't need to pack clothes for dd as he has some for me to find they are from poundland and due to the poor quality haven't kept dd warm. Don't get me wrong I'm not a snob, but exp earns 80k and buys his clothes from good retailers yet he gets our dds clothes from poundland. I'm actually so mad, I earn less than 15k but I always make sure I buy quality clothes for dd (tu, george, next etc) I mean id much rather her be in good clothes than buy for myself and yet her dad has gone to poundland.

Does anyone else think aibu to feel this pissed off by it? Probably a build up of all the other let downs but I would have thought I'd be used to it by now

This thread is hideous. Why are people piling on the op? Surely none of us would allow our 2 year olds to have no coat on in December?! Op you are not being unreasonable.

Hideous was an exaggeration... But it's not am enjoyable read.

Clothing needs to be weather appropriate, but it can come from anywhere. We are high earners and in the early years most of DD’s wardrobe was bought from resale shops.

Focus on the real issue with him. She needs layers, a warm coat, hats and mittens. It doesn’t matter where he buys them.

I think a previous worded correctly in the fact that I was trying to figure out why it upset me. I know I am not being unreasonable when I raise concern over the clothes not being suitable for the weather but I couldn't understand why I was upset about them being from poundland which is why I came here.

This is a man who once he was unable to get a reaction from me turned on his own dd. Throwing water in her face at a young age because she wouldn't stop crying, threatening to hit her to get a reaction from me.. the list goes on. So with all that he has done I don't know why it upset me.. but now I realise it's because for me on top of everything it's another sign he just doesn't care. And I'm aware that sounds crazy because look at his behaviour, what loving father would throw water in his child's face, but it's probably because I know what he is like with spending and it's just another reminder for me but I couldn't understand given the history why I was bothered. And as stated yes I was bothered by the clothing being inadequate but I understood i has a good reason to be

@Survivingastorm

Wow I have already stated she was inappropriately dressed several times and that social services are involved because of this amongst other issues. I have also said I realised now it isn't about where the clothes were brought but because I couldn't understand why I was so annoyed by it.

@MotherExtraordinaire do you put your children in the car with just a short sleeved top in the middle of December? I didn't say he was a bad parent for not shopping at next, people shop were they need to based on the needs of their child and their financial situation.. as I've realised he has done many things that show he lacks capacity to parenting things social and the courts have picked up on and I wouldn't ever bring this up in court or stop contact because he went to poundland. This thread wasn't to debate his parenting, I know what kind of parent he is, I just couldn't figure out why I was pissed off by the branding he chooses.

I'm afraid I struggle to grasp why ss would give anytime to parenting squabbles over clothes!

Cafcass would, if deemed necessary, have conversations with both parents, but again they're advisory.

If lo has sensory issues, actually wearing a t-shirt is more understandable. And it could appear as you contradicting here...

@Survivingastorm

I think a previous worded correctly in the fact that I was trying to figure out why it upset me. I know I am not being unreasonable when I raise concern over the clothes not being suitable for the weather but I couldn't understand why I was upset about them being from poundland which is why I came here.

This is a man who once he was unable to get a reaction from me turned on his own dd. Throwing water in her face at a young age because she wouldn't stop crying, threatening to hit her to get a reaction from me.. the list goes on. So with all that he has done I don't know why it upset me.. but now I realise it's because for me on top of everything it's another sign he just doesn't care. And I'm aware that sounds crazy because look at his behaviour, what loving father would throw water in his child's face, but it's probably because I know what he is like with spending and it's just another reminder for me but I couldn't understand given the history why I was bothered. And as stated yes I was bothered by the clothing being inadequate but I understood i has a good reason to be

Did you report these threats to the police?

@MotherExtraordinaire I did say amongst other things for ss to be involved but that isn't what this thread was about.

And yes they were reported to the police, witness by others on some occasions and documented with ex admitting to each event so I'm not too sure what you're trying to get at but totally off point to what I intended to get from this thread.

Anyway that's for all those who were helpful in helping me realise why I was so annoyed. Think me giving so much mental energy to it is just what he would want, so from now on unless it's for dds welfare I won't get drawn into his antics.

I doubt everything he got is from
Poundland. Tbh there's some nice bits in there, and it's all made in sweat shops abroad anyway. YABU. At least he's bought clothes for her to keep there - that's more than a lot of dads do

Social are involved because her clothes are from Poundland?

@livinlavida

Social are involved because her clothes are from Poundland?

Of course not read the dam thread filter by op its not hard

@livinlavida wow are we really setting the bars for fathers that liw now? he is not dressing their child warm enough abd refuses to let op give him the clothes that would be warm enough just because he wants some sick power play.

SAying about £1.00 clothes is total unnecessary distraction from the main issue. Which is being dealth with so really not uch point to the post.

@june2007 to be fair any parent that is on the wage he is on, so willing to spend so much on his own clothes but buys nothing but the cheapest for a child that is his and is supposed to love dearly would not exactly be scoring massive parenting points

Poundland clothes are pep and co, they’re not a pound, they’re no different quality to asda/tesco/primark etc.
Her not wearing a coat is a problem!

YABU to be snobby about Poundland clothes, then describe TU and George clothes as 'good quality'. 🤭

Is she coming home in a car? If so she shouldn't be wearing a coat or thick jumpers in a car seat. Although she should have a blanket to keep her warm.

Do you know that she doesn't wear a coat when not in the car?

You are being snobby. Why are his supermarket clothes made in a sweatshop any worse than your supermarket clothes made in a sweatshop?

Is there really that much difference between Pqep+Co and Asda?

Just RTFT, sounds like you have far bigging problems to be worrying about than the brand of clothing she's wearing.

For anyone posting now please read all of my posts, is wasn't about poundland.