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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how this bonkers year has changed you?

68 replies

Allthestarsarecloser · 05/12/2020 18:08

It’s been a crazy year and as it comes to an end, how, if anything, has 2020 changed you? (Obviously I know it’s been a year of terrible loss for a lot of people, loved ones and jobs etc so I respect that)

I had covid in March so I am grateful for my health but in other senses:

  • life has obviously slowed down but it’s made me realise how mindlessly busy I was before
  • I have very much reflected on who I want in my life and continue to reflect on this.
  • I feel slightly agoraphobic in a way i didn’t before - too much time in one place- and I feel like I will have to work to undo that & travel again
  • I have far too much crap. I need to reflect on what I spend my money on. I definitely have too many clothes and intent to head towards a simpler life
  • I am so much more introverted than I thought I was
  • I want some new hobbies in 2021

Aibu to ask for your reflections on 2020?

OP posts:
Tinyhumansurvivalist · 05/12/2020 18:20

2020 has made me realise just how fee friends I actually mean anything to.

That I am actually capable of standing up for myself and refusing to take the crap other people seem to think I deserve.

I have learnt that I can cut toxic people out of my life without the world.coming to an end.

I have allowed myself to be selfish and prioritise my life over all the other demands made upon me

I have learnt that I am allowed to be happy and that my being happy really pisses some people off.

Bluewavescrashing · 05/12/2020 18:24

I've thrown myself into my new full time teaching job and realised I can do it, after 10 years on maternity leave or part time. It's been a really positive experience and I think my DCs respect me more now I work more.

Redwrecker · 05/12/2020 18:35

How mentally resilient I actually am - more than I thought I ever could be.

It has also given me a huge confidence boost. My work has been operating at crisis level since March and its forced me to just get on with it and now I feel hugely confident about my professional abilities.

AnnnaBananna · 05/12/2020 18:36

I actually think it’s created a whole generation of people who’ll always wash their hands and keep the cupboards full of tins. In 50 years time kids will be laughing at grandma using hand sanitiser and saying “it’s because she lived through Covid”.

sofiaaaaaa · 05/12/2020 18:40

@AnnnaBananna what generation is that? I don’t think young people are scarred for life if that’s what you’re suggesting. The clinically vulnerable perhaps.

user950180 · 05/12/2020 18:42

How strong I am - diagnosed with cancer just before lockdown and having to go to all my appointments on my own, to hospitals three hours away from home.
That it's ok to have lazy days if I need too. Before covid I was always on the go, now I spend some days chilling on the sofa watching netflix.
2021 - Im hoping to get my confidence in myself back and start feeling happier. A holiday would also be great :)

Sparklesocks · 05/12/2020 18:43

I think it’s hard to say at the moment, I imagine a lot of us won’t fully understand what the full impact is until we have a bit more space from it.

But I do think it’s helped with my perspective, I have been guilty of getting bogged down in the small things but this year I have been more chilled as the small things seem even smaller in comparison to everything going on.

Also I think I’ll carry on wearing a mask and maybe being a bit wary on public transport in peak cold season. I’m not saying I’ll live in complete paranoia with an intense germ phobia, but I’ve commuted into central London for 10 years for work and every year I get so poorly with a cold in winter with everyone coughing and spluttering on the tube etc. Maybe carrying hand sanitiser etc will help reduce my chances!

sofiaaaaaa · 05/12/2020 18:43

This year has provided a lot of clarity. I have been procrastinating a bit eg whether I want to move back to my uni city or not, whether I want to do a masters or not etc and this year has made me get my life together and just do it.

It has also helped me see situations in the past in a different light, I split up with my ex in January and was a bit cut up by it, but I can see that it was for the best.

Other than that though, I feel like it’s been a stressful year overall. I really dislike working from home - this isn’t how I thought my career would span at 22!

timeforawine · 05/12/2020 18:53

How I'm doing well with my anxiety despite stopping my medication.
How much i need my monthly meals with my friend's for a proper relaxing break
How much i need travel
How good a company i work for
How adaptable my daughter and her friends/classmates have been, they've breezed through all the changes at nursery/starting school

AnnnaBananna · 05/12/2020 19:14

AnnnaBananna what generation is that? I don’t think young people are scarred for life
I wouldn’t call it scarred for life. But people have learned new habits that subsequent generations who haven’t lived through a pandemic won’t have learned. For the rest of my life I think I’ll have a stock of loo roll and tins, and I can’t imagine going back to not washing my hands regularly. I used to go round the shops and blithely touch the door handles then go in the cafe and eat a toastie with my fingers - I can’t imagine ever doing that again, because Covid has created an awareness of germ transmission that I didn’t have before.

Friendnextdoor · 05/12/2020 19:22

For the worse..

I am miserable, exhausted, angry and bitter.

Not because of COVID necessarily but this has been a really, really tough year. Lots of awful things have happened to me and my family and I now realise I am a horrible person to be around. Always negative & sad. Every time I think things are going to get better something else goes wrong. (I realise I am moaning - AGAIN. It's all I seem to be able to do right now!) I am however grateful for my Dd & our own health, that she has thrived despite all the upset of the year, that I have continued showing up to work each and every day and doing a good job looking after all my patients. None of them would ever have a clue about my life behind closed doors and that's as it should be. For that I am proud of myself and I hope and pray that I can begin to be a better person & my luck changes next year!

Sorry to hear others have been finding this year tough too.

Friendnextdoor · 05/12/2020 19:25

Sorry I haven't written any goals!

  1. I want to be kinder, more tolerant and happier.
  1. I want to learn to knit!
  1. I would like to go to university & complete my nursing degree (currently a HCA)
  1. I would like to volunteer and raise some money for charity.
fishykettles · 05/12/2020 19:26

Not at all really. It's given other people an insight into what my life is like all the time but it's shown me that people don't give a shit. It's shown me that people don't follow rules that they don't like and that people are very judgmental and only pretend to care. I suspected that and I now know that is the case with most people.

roarfeckingroarr · 05/12/2020 19:36

I had my work contract made permanent, I then got engaged, then fell pregnant with my beautiful 7 week old DS. This year has taught me what matters and provided great healing for my own childhood trauma.

TheSunIsStillShining · 05/12/2020 19:37

I became a really good knitter. Been at it for 20+ years, but this year I upped my skills insanely :)

pinkearedcow · 05/12/2020 19:53

I have always been a worrier, anxious about "what if" scenarios. Never in a million years would I have had a pandemic and lockdowns on my "what if" list. I now see how pointless it is to worry about things that might never happen.

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 05/12/2020 19:54

I've learned that life's too short to put up with rubbish and sometimes relationships are too broken to fix - that also applies to my DCs schooling. My DCs mental health will never come below education again, because ultimately that screws education anyway.

I used to love long walks, but since lockdown have lost all love for them. This is not helping my butt sizeGrin

Echobelly · 05/12/2020 20:02

I've certainly wondered if my life before was over-full and over-stimulating - I've actually slept much better than usual on the whole since April. I think I might feel less necessity to fill most weekends with activities once this is over.

TheListeners · 05/12/2020 20:05

The time I've had has meant my house has been cleared out in every room. I've thrown out so much and like others it's made me reflect on what we buy.

I've finally managed to lose weight by doing keto and intermittent fasting. Never thought I could fast at work but turns out I can. My diet has meant my mental health is better than it has been and I have so much more energy. In addition my skin is amazing. I know my life has been permanently changed by Covid but bizarrely much of that has been positive.

Peanutbutterjelly10 · 05/12/2020 20:08

My whole life has changed. I quit my career and became a full time study in a subject I love. And it was due to lockdown that gave me the kick up the butt.
My son began school and it was the best thing to happen. He loves it and is coming on so well there.
I came out about my sexuality and finally felt free to be myself.
This year has been rubbish but it's been such a big year for my life.

Buzlightyear1 · 05/12/2020 20:08

I’ve realised who I can actually trust to help me . I’ve learned I’m able to do anything by myself to and I’m very independent now. I also learnt just how much my ex had abused me . I kicked him out a year and a half ago. It’s only just hit me how much he controled my life and still try’s.

Clockstop · 05/12/2020 20:12

Life has got a lot busier. I struggle to get enough work done as workload has gone up about 60% for everyone at my work (academic/lecturer) and I can't get enough childcare so I end up working non stop 7 days a week, into the early hours every night to try and keep up. It's exhausting. I now hate my job and looking for a way out of if to do something else. I don't want to leave but I feel I have to.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 05/12/2020 20:20

I’m heavier than I’ve ever been, consequently have poor mobility, and my mental health has suffered. I have realised how much I value the small amount of socialising I did pre-COVID - a weekly knitting group, a fortnightly knitting group and a monthly book group - and how much I miss them.

Before COVID, dh was away a lot - 3-4 days and 2-3 night a week, and I coped fine with being home alone. Since COVID, he’s been wfh since March, and I have got so used to having him here, and I’m dreading things going back to normal.

MillieMoodle · 05/12/2020 20:24

I've realised how much my job has affected my mental health, so am moving to a new job in the new year which I'm really looking forward to.

I've realised it's not worth stressing about the small stuff, especially where the DC are concerned, which has made me more relaxed with them.

I've finally got help for anxiety and depression, having struggled for years with it on my own.

bogoffmda · 05/12/2020 20:27

I am knackered but:

More tolerant of people
Sadder - realisation that both my parents are now dead and no one really gives a monkeys about DCs and I
That I am an introvert but really miss human contact
That I would like a new relationship

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