To ask how this bonkers year has changed you?

[Allthestarsarecloser]

It’s been a crazy year and as it comes to an end, how, if anything, has 2020 changed you? (Obviously I know it’s been a year of terrible loss for a lot of people, loved ones and jobs etc so I respect that)

I had covid in March so I am grateful for my health but in other senses:

• life has obviously slowed down but it’s made me realise how mindlessly busy I was before

• I have very much reflected on who I want in my life and continue to reflect on this.

• I feel slightly agoraphobic in a way i didn’t before - too much time in one place- and I feel like I will have to work to undo that & travel again

• I have far too much crap. I need to reflect on what I spend my money on. I definitely have too many clothes and intent to head towards a simpler life

• I am so much more introverted than I thought I was

• I want some new hobbies in 2021

Aibu to ask for your reflections on 2020?

DH is even lazier than I thought
I'm even more driven than I thought
I prefer WFH - ideal balance would be 2 days in office, 3 at home
I am quite happy pottering around the house

That I like working from home but I like places to walk where I don't need a car to get there so I still like being in a suburb rather than living in the middle of nowhere. That I need a break from Dh and the Dses every few days. That I want to cut down on teaching in 3/4 years time and do more freelance stuff. That I'm grateful I gave travelled but I don't need to do it so often.

I was single from ages 18-28 and expected to be single the rest of my life. I unexpectedly met a nice man at age 28 and got engaged a year later. We got engaged in 2019 with plans for a 2021 wedding.

Luckily, we got it all planned early on, but I was starting to admittedly develop slight bridezilla tendencies with the 'perfect day' taking up all my headspace. Having seen so many of my friends have their weddings cancelled or rescheduled has made me realise that the most important thing for me is just marrying my lovely fiance, even if we only have a couple of guests. It has really changed my perspective on what's really important.

That DP and I are made for each other and we really need to find a way to live together as life is just better when we are together. I've bonded so much with him and his kids also. Rest of the year has been awful but it's nice to know something positive has come out of it

Single Homeless Terrified , Ex DP could throw me out anytime(still live together) I have nowhere to go and no money as my hours got hugely reduced

That I'm really envious of anyone with supportive partners and/or families..

I really hope things improve for you alltoomuch it's been a shit year

Like so many I have massively slowed down and reprioritised. I won't go back to the way things were before.

That's on the good side. On the negative side I've carried a heartache at not being able to see my parents, and I can't until we've all had the vaccine and reasonable assurance that my going to see them won't harm them. And lots of people around me are suffering from the pandemic psychologically and or financially and that will be hard to recovery from. I still can't believe I was still so clueless in March.

It’s strengthened my resolve to move. I’m starting a job in a new country next year. Sick of the shit show.

I've realised that I need to get a cleaner DH and I can't cope wfh full time, caring for a toddler and have any energy left to do more than the bare minimum housework!

I have realised the friends that understand and we try to help each other even if sporadically seeing each other and the "friends" who only think about themselves don't bother with the rules and call you selfish if you refuse to break them (no longer friends!)

That my DH is rubbish at housework but the most amazing dad

That while I love my family unit having zero break from it due to no parents being close by is really tough!

It’s made me realise I am mentally tougher than I thought I was...

It also made me realise that you are a fool to work yourself into the ground for anyone. No company, no salary, will ever be worth it.

I feel incredibly angry at my employer because of what I see as their total failure of care towards me. They basically didn’t give a shit that I am a single parent without any support or childcare and worked me into the ground when they could see I was close to breaking point. I am not going to put mine and my child’s mental health on the line like that again.

Massively.

Went No contact with family. Best decision ever.

Met some lovely new people through a game I played to keep myself from going bored. Being sent their favourite recipes their mums cooked was just lovely over the summer.

I painted something that lead to a commission that has paid for my car 🥰

I’m driving test ready, just need covid to behave a bit 😶

I got my passport.

I started learning a dead language, brushed up on my maths with intention of doing another degree that will supplement my existing one. Not sure how I’m going to fund it though 😭

I no longer feel guilty hiring a gardener/handyman to help me do household and garden stuff when I need a second pair of hands. The dealing with that guilt has meant I’ve got my house ship shape this year.

Met a man and hope, once I deal with some stuff, it’ll come good.

DC got the much much needed EHCP. it took 7 yrs to be taken seriously 😭

I lost 1stone 8lbs since end September and I’m still going. In fact losing weight and realising I couldn’t share my goal on Facebook without it causing a family drama was a small nudge to go no contact (long eventful backstory there)

That it really is true you're only a few pay cheques away from poverty and homelessness.
Never thought at my age I'd be in this position and now have an ulcer from stress.

I enjoy my kids and see them differently after this year. I have gone from being an overwhelmed, irritable, stressed parent to loving spending time with them, being enthusiastic about school holidays and feeling positive in my ability to raise them. We had previously had a lot of support and input from school, health visitors, GPs, etc over the years as my son is autistic and I didn't realise how reliant I had become on an expert opinion to make any decisions about my kids. I will be forever grateful for the lockdown for this. At the beginning with a new baby and months of homeschooling looming ahead I was terrified. I feel stronger now because I just had to figure it out as we went and my son has been incredible. His head teacher said he returned to school like a different child.

Im happier in my own home than I've ever been. I enjoy just being and existing at home, walking in the fields and then coming back home. It no longer feels overwhelming or restrictive to be in my own home, its totally normal.

I am much less extrovert and sociable than I thought I was and I have realised I am content with very little social interaction outside of my immediate family.

We have been very very lucky so far. My husband kept his job and worked from home and we haven't lost anyone to covid yet. I don't take that for granted.

I've learned that no matter how tough life appears we can get through. DP was diagnosed with terminal cancer and as bad as lockdown has been things can always get worse! Everything about his diagnosis has been a battle and we have had to kick and scream to get him seen but we are tougher than we look and more resilient than we knew.

I realised I am living like a retired person aged 36. I need more sex, more excitement and more adventure before I get too old.

@Wandafishcake

I realised I am living like a retired person aged 36. I need more sex, more excitement and more adventure before I get too old.

Oh god this too. This too. This is my flip side. Not enough good sex. The bad stuff is easy to find. Not enough adventures. Haven’t left my city in a year. And I can’t remember the last time I got properly excited about anything that wasn’t a ‘if money was no object’ conversation.

oh that's one of mine too. Realisation that in my late 40s I'm too young still to be celibate, and have been for years, because 'D'P (now exDP as said) decided it
No! Life is too short. Why did I decide to 'grin' and bear it... and what for? He left me anyway....