To ask how this bonkers year has changed you?

[Allthestarsarecloser]

It’s been a crazy year and as it comes to an end, how, if anything, has 2020 changed you? (Obviously I know it’s been a year of terrible loss for a lot of people, loved ones and jobs etc so I respect that)

I had covid in March so I am grateful for my health but in other senses:

• life has obviously slowed down but it’s made me realise how mindlessly busy I was before

• I have very much reflected on who I want in my life and continue to reflect on this.

• I feel slightly agoraphobic in a way i didn’t before - too much time in one place- and I feel like I will have to work to undo that & travel again

• I have far too much crap. I need to reflect on what I spend my money on. I definitely have too many clothes and intent to head towards a simpler life

• I am so much more introverted than I thought I was

• I want some new hobbies in 2021

Aibu to ask for your reflections on 2020?

It's made me realise how happy I am in my own company and that a much slower pace of life really suits me.

-Realised how my conditions rule my life (I'm CEV)

• I've struggled with anxiety since the first lockdown. Finally got help in October, still having counselling
• lost all self confidence thanks to sheilding
• gained weight and developed OCD
• just about coping with everyday life thanks to DH and children

Positives -spent a lot of time home with DH and children

• realised after 17 yrs of marriage that were still happy

-miss my colleagues and have stil been

In touch with them

I don't think it's changed me, but it's made me realise how stupid and I'm afraid to say thick people are. I wasn't really a people person before but now I'm even worse. People are selfish

Honestly? About what a flipping idiots we (DH and I) have been keeping a rein on holidays and travel! They have always been important to us, but what a waste not to make the most of opportunities when you can! Life is too short.

It has also confirmed how locked-up we are on this small island and how much better off and more opportunities we would have in mainland Europe for example.

We are working on it, I am really worried about Brexit and struggle at the idea to be locked up here again - and dependent on planes or ferries when others can just take their car and go.

I feel more confident professionally, we have coped so well as a business. I'm returning to study to get to the top of my game.

I have realised I'm happier with fewer possessions and begun a long mission of clearing out and eBaying - made £400 in the past month!

I miss travel, social interaction and experiences. I love the little adventures in life. I shall value them more than ever when they return.

I think I'm generally slightly less optimistic in outlook than I was. After having endless things cancelled and numerous disappointments, I no longer have the view that it'll all be ok. Hopefully that will return.

Mostly I've just realised that I actually really liked my normal life & should've appreciated it more. And I'm determined to embrace life in the future - I've compiled a bucket list a mile long, especially regarding travel. In 50 years the grandkids will be wondering why granny is never at home & takes five holidays a year and my response will be "because I lived through two **ing lockdowns" .

I am stuck with feeling such hatred towards a government who i feel are a bunch of fools and i don't like how this is having such a negative affect on my mind , hatred is nothing but negative , i am working hard to let this go .
I am more conscious of having stuff we don't need , i have worked throughout the year so haven't had much time to myself , my plan is to car boot / charity shop a lot when things are a bit more normal , the year has made me feel a lot more that 'things ' don't really mean that much .
I am a lot more grateful for my garden , what a blessing it was being outside earlier in the year , we have just started building a nature pond and have more plans for next year .
I thought i was mentally strong but i have suprised myself with how many times i have felt down and hopeless this year.

@AnnnaBananna

I actually think it’s created a whole generation of people who’ll always wash their hands and keep the cupboards full of tins. In 50 years time kids will be laughing at grandma using hand sanitiser and saying “it’s because she lived through Covid”.

@AnnnaBananna

I think you are right. My mum was born towards end of WW2. She has slightly odd attitudes about saving leftover soap, and not wasting the smallest portion of leftovers, and i do think it stems from post-war rationing

-2 stone weight gain realising I deal with stress by eating.

• Realising which people in my life I truly cannot do without
• Learning to be mindful, less wasteful and put myself first sometimes, and that that is not a selfish thing. If I implode, so does my family
• Appreciating space, quiet and freedom of choice

Oh and also realised that however thick and dense some people are, being angry about their idiocy doesn’t make them change their ways.

I've come to really appreciate being introverted and happiest in my own company. Since my ex left 4 years ago I've really loved being just with my kids and not needing other people. When he was here I used to want to socialise more. But this year has been lovely. I haven't had to feel guilty for turning down social invitations or for keeping my distance from people. I've really began to enjoy living in my own skin. Although a holiday would be nice, I want to take the kids to see the world.

@AnnnaBananna

I actually think it’s created a whole generation of people who’ll always wash their hands and keep the cupboards full of tins. In 50 years time kids will be laughing at grandma using hand sanitiser and saying “it’s because she lived through Covid”.

I used to wait until I was down to the last roll of toilet roll before I'd haul my lazy ass to the hops and buy a new multipack.

I'll never run out of toilet roll again. I also now buy the ridiculously large multipacks now rather than the standard packs of 4.

** shops, obviously

(Sleep-deprived typo.)

I have learnt that I can manage a full time job even with questionable health. I'm not continuing though as I have nothing left for my kids at the end of the day.

I have learnt that my eldest daughter is way more of an introvert than I had realised.

I've also learnt that I am a jealous and bitter person when things don't go the way I want them to which is a bit sad really. I'm trying to deal with that!!

I've learnt that my husband is the most adaptable and forward thinking person I know. He's also very irritating to have around all the time 🙄

I've learnt that an "affordable" mortgage (ie well within our means) can easily become a huge and terrifying burden!!

A bit negative....it's been a horrible year but I'm grateful for getting through it intact financially with a roof still over our heads and happy (mostly) healthy children and we've still managed to have loads of fun on the way!

I’ve learnt to slow down...
Before I had a ‘I’ll sleep when I’m dead’ attitude, but now I’m cutting back all my commitments and focusing on my family, myself and my work.
At the start of 2020, my NY resolution was to have a ‘quiet year’ (ha), as I’d realised I’d spent the last several years having a never ending series of big life events (buying houses, getting married, changing jobs, babies, redundancy, etc etc).
I’ve spent a lot of time making more home much nicer, previously I was too busy rushing about or spending money on gallivanting to get round to it.
I’ve broken a lot of bad spending habits, and the tendency to throw money at a problem as I have more time to sort things out now.
More time and energy to spend on family time, eg so I take the kids out for an adventure instead of to soft play while I mainline coffee and scroll social media. My kids are happier as we aren’t rushing round as much during the week.
I’m less cavalier about germs and getting sick. As PP said, I would have went to the shops and then a cafe without washing hands. I’ve appreciated the need to stop and recuperate when I do get sick now.
As things have reopened, I’ve realised just because you can do things doesn’t mean you should.
I appreciate the outdoors much more, and in all weathers.

However I’ve also gained over a stone through stress eating, drank too much and realised who my real friends are/that I need to develop a better social life... all things for 2021 that I wouldn’t have prioritised previously.

I’m feeling more grateful than I ever have for a roof over my head and both of us still working.
I’m at the top of my game professionally though it’s been a tough and emotionally tiring year at work.
That’s have too many clothes and don’t need to spend far too much money on them every month.
That my kids are happy with far fewer outings and excitement and that being at home is sometimes enough.
That travel and friendships are really important to me and I can’t wait to get back to them

I've had more time at home this year than I've ever had before. Up to now I've always either been busy working, going somewhere, or heading out to meet up with friends or family. Covid put a stop to most of that! I was determined not to let all the extra time at home get me down, so I made a decision to clean up my eating habits and also to go for a walk every single day. Since March I have lost over 3 stone. I feel so much healthier and better in myself at the end of 2020 than I did at the start.

What a great idea for a thread...

I’ve had some massive life changes this year, starting with moving out of the family home and leaving my abusive husband. Long marriage.

Once the divorce is over, I plan to plan my life as I want it, and not how HE thinks I want it.

I’ve learnt I need to exercise regularly for my MH... and that walking doesn’t cut it. (However it’s the only way I can see friends)

@AnnnaBananna - you are absolutely right about us hoarding loo rolls and hand sanitising. My DGM used to save scraps of paper, rubber bands having lived through the war.

My DM did remark during the first lockdown that if everyone washed their hands as much as they were presently doing, we’d suffer far fewer colds and flu.

Honestly? I don't think I've changed at all really. It's been an unusual year for sure (wfh, home schooling, hardly seeing my parents, much less socialising etc etc) but I don't think I've changed as a person or learnt anything earth shattering from it.

That work is shite and I want to work for myself (NHS).

I’ve realised how few friends I have.

That I actually don’t like the majority of my colleagues and haven’t missed them at all.

That I hate going out socialising, would rather have a glass of wine and a nice meal/takeaway at home.

That I love just going out for a long drive to somewhere with amazing scenery, rather than going and doing anything else at a weekend.

That I do not miss going to the pub for a drink, but miss going and sitting in a nice coffee shop with a coffee and a book for an hours peace.

That I hate my job even more than I thought I did.

I’ve realised how lazy, selfish and obnoxious my youngest son (18) actually is and how much I can’t bear to be in the same room as him at times.

Well 2020 had a sting left in its tail for the WolefGenius household - dh has been diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis.

He was in hospital over the summer with weakness down one side - we thought it might be a stroke, but they did scans and other tests and said it wasn’t a stroke, or a tumour or a bleed, but there were some patches of inflammation they couldn’t explain, so he was referred to neurology.

He had a lumbar puncture and another MRI, and they’ve diagnosed MS. The spots of inflammation in his brain indicate he has had more than one relapse already, but he’s only noticed one - I’m guessing that the symptoms were so mild he just ignored them.

It could be worse - at least it’s not a tumour, or motor neurone disease, or dementia, and it is manageable - there is medication he can take that reduces the incidence of relapses - each relapse can cause lasting damage so the fewer he has, the better.

For the moment, we are just going to wait and see - if he doesn’t have relapses, or if there’s no evidence of more damage when he has another MRI next summer, then he can manage without the drugs for the moment.

I have friends who’ve had it for years - one was diagnosed 25 years ago, and although they need a stick, they still live a very full life, so hopefully it will be the same for dh, and won’t ruin his life.

I’m trying not to worry too much (although worrying is one of my core skills), but I can’t help feeling how bloody unfair this is, for him.

Pre-2020 I tried not to just take things for granted but it’s hit home how very privileged my life was before. I was always busy, my life was exciting and full and I was always either on holiday or planning the next one.
I am very sad at the moment and I hope my old life is back soon.

I am not made for being locked down!