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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to leave partner who doesn’t wear seatbelt

119 replies

Rottiemum4102 · 04/12/2020 23:12

Maybe so petty.

Do I want to really marry a man who won’t even consider his own life? It drives me mental, even with my car that sounds an alarm he leaves to the last minute.

We’ve had a huge bust up tonight, and I’ve even said maybe my dad would still be here if he wore a fucking seatbelt !

Should I consider marriage and serious commitment with a man that doesn’t even value his own/others lives on the road?

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 05/12/2020 12:09

What a prick. Does the Magna Carta say he doesn’t need to wear a mask during a pandemic.

draughtycatflap · 05/12/2020 12:15

Does he also have an 8-track player in his car? Is his name Gene Hunt?

DarceyDashwood · 05/12/2020 12:22

He sounds annoying, immature and irresponsible - what other laws/rules does he consider himself above out of interest?

PearlclutchersInc · 05/12/2020 12:29

Does he wear a mask?

KarmaNoMore · 05/12/2020 12:33

The think is... if he doesn’t wear a seat belt and you have an accident while in the car. It is not only him who would be affected, you can be hurt or even killed if the impact through his body on your direction.

If you add to that he doesn’t care you feel so strongly about it after loosing your dad in that way... what makes you think he would be nice and considerate as a husband or as a dad?

BillMasen · 05/12/2020 12:34

Non negotiable. Ime anyone I’ve known who refused to wear a seatbelt when driving was a bellend.

HavelockVetinari · 05/12/2020 12:42

He sounds like a fecking eejit. One unsecured person in a car can kill all the other passengers in an accident by being hurled around the car (see the Irish advert a PP posted).

OhMsBeliever · 05/12/2020 12:47

My mum used to argue with me about wearing one too. Fuck knows why. She never drove so only used to get taxis and would never wear one when in a taxi. So she thought she could do the same when I was driving. No. I got called a nag for always reminding her to put it on, and refusing to move the car until it was on. It was like dealing with a fucking toddler!

If he doesn't want to wear a seatbelt when you're driving he can bloody walk!

Duemarch2021 · 05/12/2020 12:51

This annoys me.. my sisters ex used to do this... he couldnt be arsed wearing a seat belt... they had three kids... guess what.. they were never strapped in.. if he feels its not important enough then he won't make sure that he does it for future children... even if he does... by the time theyre old enough to do it themselves, they will copy his attitude

kwiksavenofrillsusername · 05/12/2020 12:52

I feel like if someone won't do something as simple as put on a seatbelt, then they're likely to be bloody minded about other stuff too.

My ex-boss did't like wearing a seatbelt and would only put it on if he saw police cars approaching. He had loads of points on his licence due to speeding, didn't pay taxes because they were 'theft' and believed in loads of crazy bullshit and freeman on the land nonsense. Not saying your DP is guaranteed to turn out like that, but I do think there's a certain type.

murbblurb · 05/12/2020 12:57

3.5 billion other males on the planet, roughly. No need to settle for a dickhead.

and do not be in a car with him - especially not with him sitting behind, but unrestrained arseholes are a risk wherever they are.

do the species a favour and dump this one.

Seeingadistance · 05/12/2020 12:58

I couldn’t stay in a relationship with someone who was such an arrogant, stupid fuckwit. By not wearing a seatbelt he endangers the life of everyone else in the vehicle.

When our DS was a baby, there was one time I was driving with DS in baby seat In front passenger seat, with then DH directly behind him. DS started crying and TDH took his seatbelt off to lean forward and comfort him. I told him to put his seatbelt back and on but he refused. I stopped the car as soon as it was safe to do so and refused to drive again until he put his seat alert back on and kept it on. I pointed out that a crying baby was better than a dead baby, especially one that had been killed by their own father.

TDH, now my ex, did keep his seatbelt on after that, but his willingness to take it off and argue with me about it was just one sign of his fuckwittery and worse. Probably the only reason he did comply was that he couldn’t drive and so relied on me to ferry him about.

DarceyDashwood · 05/12/2020 13:15

@PearlclutchersInc

Does he wear a mask?
I was thinking “bet he doesn’t wear a mask either”
Boltonb · 05/12/2020 13:17

@SnowyJungle

People saying he wouldnt strap a baby / child into a car because he doesnt wear a seatbelt himself

Its completely different

Someone smokes... Damaging to health, is he going to stick a cigarette in the childs mouth, ofcourse not.

He drinks, Is he going to put vodka in the babies bottle, no!!!!

For goodness sake people, Just because he doesnt wear a seatbelt, it does not mean he wouldn't strap a baby into a car seat!!!!

I wouldn’t have a baby with someone who smokes
TrufflyPig · 05/12/2020 13:17

If he can't understand basic safety precautions for himself and those around him I wouldn't want to marry him or have children with him.

Abouttimemum · 05/12/2020 13:20

Dickhead

Abouttimemum · 05/12/2020 13:21

@Boltonb same

VestaTilley · 05/12/2020 13:22

YANBU- not only does he sound immature, he also sounds thick - seatbelts save thousands of lives - does he not know that??

Do NOT have children with this man. You’d be sick with worry every single day.

LTB.

Yohoheaveho · 05/12/2020 13:24

Send him back to the 1970s where he belongs
I can't believe anyone would not wear a seatbelt!

Tomorrowistomorrow · 05/12/2020 13:29

I would not get in the car with someone who would not wear a seat belt. Likewise I don't understand people who don't strap in dogs and kids. It's a non negiotable.

Likewise I would not want to be in a relationship with someone who I felt I had to phone the police and report every day.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 05/12/2020 13:29

3.5 billion other males on the planet, roughly. No need to settle for a dickhead

That would make a great billboard ad. Grin

floofycroissant · 05/12/2020 13:30

My dad did this. I think in his head he liked to feel as though he was above the law. He would even go so far as to hold the seatbelt across him, and still not secure it. Incredibly childish and unnecessary, and he persisted even though he knew it made everyone uncomfortable.

NotImpossible · 05/12/2020 13:33

@PegasusReturns

If you don’t wear a seatbelt you’re a danger to others in the car.

It smacks of the bravado you see in a particular type of male teen: trying to be the “big I am”. It’s cringey, I’d actually find it embarrassing.

This.

It's just so silly - why won't he? It strikes me as the sort if thing you'd have argue about with a toddler - just so childish. I couldn't fancy him and I'd never get in a car with him.

Yohoheaveho · 05/12/2020 13:36

@floofycroissant

My dad did this. I think in his head he liked to feel as though he was above the law. He would even go so far as to hold the seatbelt across him, and still not secure it. Incredibly childish and unnecessary, and he persisted even though he knew it made everyone uncomfortable.
It's just some ridiculous alpha male crap isn't it 🙄
Mycastle · 05/12/2020 13:43

He evaluates risk differently from others. This will also show in his every day life. I was married to some one like this for ten who did exactly the same thing. It ended badly