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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To up sticks from inner London for the Highlands?

288 replies

hibbledibble · 04/12/2020 20:37

I've lived here all my life, but am increasingly finding it unpleasant. Too many people, too much pollution, too much crime, too little outdoor space. Since lockdown it's just got worse, as crime has increased, and the amenities have been closed. House feels too small when we are cooped up in it, but I could never afford anything bigger here, despite working in a professional job. I'm already in a not ideal area. Schools are also a concern, especially secondary, as they are rough and full of gangs.

The Highlands seems idyllic in comparison, and I could get a huge house, for less than the cost of my modest London terrace. The children would love the outdoor space, and it would be great for them to have freedom they couldn't in London, due to the crime here.

My concerns are the cold (but surely just need to wrap up warm?!) And feeling isolated. My job is portable.

Aibu?

OP posts:
GreyishDays · 04/12/2020 20:39

There’s a lot in between inner London and the highlands though. Smile

Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady · 04/12/2020 20:39

If I had the option and no family ties I would do it in a heartbeat OP.

TakeMe2Insanity · 04/12/2020 20:39

The Highlands is a huge area. Do you have anywhere specific in mind? Have you been there?

Downton57 · 04/12/2020 20:41

No, lots of people have done it and are very happy. But it is a huge step, so could you rent and try it for a year, in case the cold was too much for you?

JayAlfredPrufrock · 04/12/2020 20:42

It’s a big step.

MarshaBradyo · 04/12/2020 20:42

Whereabouts are you?

Can you move further out for bigger house

Pegase · 04/12/2020 20:44

Love the Highlands. But midges.

JazzTheDog · 04/12/2020 20:48

Rather than the cold, how would you feel about the short daylight hours in winter? I'm NE Scotland rather than Highlands and we get about 4.5 hours of proper daylight at this time of year. Today it has verged on dark all day due to the weather.

You'd also need to consider schooling, after school interests, less public transport availability etc

funtimefrank · 04/12/2020 20:51

I don't know the highlands at all but rural life isn't always great as a teen. Not much to do, reliant on parents for transport etc.

GiraffeNecked · 04/12/2020 20:51

Midges and dark at 3.30. It’s a long way from anywhere. The rain.

I love it to visit. And I live somewhere similar now ...but the first winter was hard. And even after 20 years I find the winters hard, it’s not just the weather but there’s very little indoors to do. You have to be ok at going out in all weathers and entertaining yourselves.

So few shops, museums, art galleries, theatres, gyms...

But the scenery and space is amazing.

Also...where I live doesn’t have midges, they are fuckers. .

PenCreed · 04/12/2020 20:52

Do you know anything about living in the Highlands or are you just fantasising?

Itsnotalwaysme · 04/12/2020 20:54

Realistically you need to have a short break up here to decide whether it would work.

I'm not in the Highlands, I'm central but even here the weather causes havok (icy roads, storms leading to road closures) and the bloody midges are so irritating!

ashmts · 04/12/2020 20:55

Sounds like you have rose-tinted specs on. If it's about house prices surely you could move north, near a city and still get a bigger property? Living rurally isn't all it's cracked up to be, getting in and out in snow and driving on icy roads is what puts me off most.

Figgygal · 04/12/2020 20:55

Why “the highlands”? There’s other places of similar attraction

legallybland · 04/12/2020 20:56

we walked to school in the dark and came home in the dark in the winter
you're miles from anywhere
holidays become expensive as you have get to an airport 3 + hours away first unless you fly from the highlands £££
crap public transport
limited services eg a 7-hour round trip to edinburgh for more advanced medical care
some couriers don't deliver to the highlands
tourists and midges
when you finish school, you leave. there are no prospects and it's part of the culture.
fresh air and less london shite though

Haggisfish · 04/12/2020 20:57

I’d rent for a year before selling up.

Thewithesarehere · 04/12/2020 20:58

@GiraffeNecked

Midges and dark at 3.30. It’s a long way from anywhere. The rain.

I love it to visit. And I live somewhere similar now ...but the first winter was hard. And even after 20 years I find the winters hard, it’s not just the weather but there’s very little indoors to do. You have to be ok at going out in all weathers and entertaining yourselves.

So few shops, museums, art galleries, theatres, gyms...

But the scenery and space is amazing.

Also...where I live doesn’t have midges, they are fuckers. .

You really REALLY need to tell me where is it that you don’t have midges!
PenCreed · 04/12/2020 20:59

@funtimefrank

I don't know the highlands at all but rural life isn't always great as a teen. Not much to do, reliant on parents for transport etc.
Transport is crap, even in Inverness. Expensive and infrequent.

OP, I am from the Highlands and I now live in London. The Highlands are beautiful, I'm proud of the heritage I have coming from generations of Highlanders and I love visiting. But I wouldn't live there again - I like public transport, not having to drive everywhere (or be driven), decent shops, a choice of theatres, gigs, multiple museums and galleries. Not to mention that I can get on a flight from London and go anywhere, from the Highlands you have to travel to the nearest big airport to go on holiday. There's one big hospital, when I was a teen my mum had to go to Aberdeen for tests because the hospital in Inverness couldn't do them. That still happens.

Also "the Highlands" is an area the size of Belgium. Which bit of it do you mean?

WaltzingBetty · 04/12/2020 21:00

I recommend Yorkshire or Northumbria

helpmum2003 · 04/12/2020 21:03

I can understand why you want to leave London but the Highlands is probably a bit drastic for most.
You could start another thread asking for recommendations of places to live with your specs if you have a flexible job. If you have kids I agree that with teens your needs will change.

helpmum2003 · 04/12/2020 21:03

You could afford to move out and holiday frequently in the Highlands!!

HighlandLiving · 04/12/2020 21:04

NCed

I live in the highlands. Loads and loads of people have moved here since Covid. I estimate 10% will last. A huge percentage of people that move here wont last more than a year or two. They come because they think it will be idyllic and then are disappointed, bitch about everything and leave.

People don't tend to cope with how bad the weather is. Its not just cold, its the gales and 9 months of winter. Its underestimated. Rain doesnt fall vertically, it whips you in the face at great speeds.
My dad use to have to walk us up the driveway to catch the school bus in the winter so we didn't blow away. True story. I look back at that fondly now but i'm sure it wasn't fun at the time for my dad. Sure the 3 days of summer is amazing and the place looks idyllic then, but it lasts 3 days.

People also don't tend to cope with the "local way". Theres space, but options of shops/POs/local businesses are limited so naturally you meet the same locals all the time. And highlanders have a way they do things. Differences are noticed. Some are welcomed, some are not. Many leave because of this too. NOTHING is private. Nothing.

You'll have a bigger house but if you need work doing you are again limited in choices of workmen and suppliers. Finding cheap deals is hard.

Many companies won't deliver here.

Midgies. Oh the midgies.

I love loving here but people keep moving up with rose tinted specs so i thought id give you a better idea.

alpinia · 04/12/2020 21:05

What legallybland said. Except many people don't leave the area when they finish school, so sometimes some villages can be a little insular.

Travel is not so bad now with direct Inverness- Amsterdam flights.

It's also fantastic if you are outdoorsy people and can be an idyllic childhood and teenage years. This is only if your kids are horsey/hiking/kayaking etc. types. If they hate to get wet, like shopping with friends and going to the cinema it's likely not for them.

If you move, dont buy a massive beautiful old place. You'll freeze. No amount of heating and fires will ever keep your house warm. Buy something new and eco or old but fully renovated. It took me 3 years of city living to fully thaw out...

We have family with a little holiday cottage there. When travel was permitted it was full with people visiting from down south looking for a house to relocate to.

RB68 · 04/12/2020 21:06

you might get a bit of culture shock with that extreme, maybe try some more populated scottish areas first - at least they will have a shop and not require you to order monthly for a food drop

legallybland · 04/12/2020 21:07

@funtimefrank

I don't know the highlands at all but rural life isn't always great as a teen. Not much to do, reliant on parents for transport etc.
when i was growing up there was three main things to do (usually at the same time) - drink, plot your escape, and drive around dark icy country roads too fast with your mate who worked on the rigs, was loaded and thought he was invincible.