To up sticks from inner London for the Highlands?

[hibbledibble]

I've lived here all my life, but am increasingly finding it unpleasant. Too many people, too much pollution, too much crime, too little outdoor space. Since lockdown it's just got worse, as crime has increased, and the amenities have been closed. House feels too small when we are cooped up in it, but I could never afford anything bigger here, despite working in a professional job. I'm already in a not ideal area. Schools are also a concern, especially secondary, as they are rough and full of gangs.

The Highlands seems idyllic in comparison, and I could get a huge house, for less than the cost of my modest London terrace. The children would love the outdoor space, and it would be great for them to have freedom they couldn't in London, due to the crime here.

My concerns are the cold (but surely just need to wrap up warm?!) And feeling isolated. My job is portable.

Aibu?

PP "It gets dark at 3:30"

...is that not normal?? Winter is light 9/9:30 til 3/3:30.

When does it get dark/light in London?

I second the suggestion of Northumberland. Close enough to a few cites - e.g., Newcastle, Durham, Sunderland - for the amenities, close enough to places like Edinburgh and York for them to be day trips. Lake District a comfortable drive away too. It has decent public transport (depending on area) good schools, decent universities virtually on the doorstep, airport not too far away, and good rail links. Excellent coastline as well as countryside, sleepy villages, tourist areas, and hidden gems.

And you will be an outsider for at least 10 generations...

God, I really hate when people ( Londoners in this case) decide that leaving their city life and decamping to 'the highlands' is going to be some kind of fairytale ending. Have you done ANY research? The highlands are a massive region . Have you researched schools for example. Your comment regarding the cold smacks of being patronising, and even the 'we can get a massive house' sounds a bit off. Life in the highlands can be hard, no popping into Waitrose for a pint of milk, your nearest neighbour potentially could be miles away. have you even been to the Highlands ?

@HighlandLiving Privacy - yes! I LOVE being anonymous in London, at home I was always X's daughter. My friend got a taxi to our house once, and the driver knew my dad, what he did for a living, and my uncle. Hospital appointments you're bound to run into someone you know - happens to my mum all the time (or did before this year).

@HighlandLiving

PP "It gets dark at 3:30"

...is that not normal?? Winter is light 9/9:30 til 3/3:30.

When does it get dark/light in London?

At the moment, just after 4pm.

On the flip side, Londoners think a 9.30pm sunset is a late summer evening!

@funtimefrank

I don't know the highlands at all but rural life isn't always great as a teen. Not much to do, reliant on parents for transport etc.

One reason why DD opted for a city centre university.

Just to slightly counteract the misery I live on the edge of the highlands in a small town and bloody love it. An hour (ish) in different directions and I can be in Glasgow, Edinburgh, the coast or the proper Highlands. Yes the weather is pants in winter but we hunker down and you do get used to it. I’ve lived all over the UK and wouldn’t trade this for anywhere else. Definitely agree with the poster above about modern/refurbished houses - spent part of my childhood in a draughty Victorian house on the west coast and vividly remember having to wear a coat indoors.

@HighlandLiving

PP "It gets dark at 3:30"

...is that not normal?? Winter is light 9/9:30 til 3/3:30.

When does it get dark/light in London?

Im in essex and at the moment id say light about 7.30ish and dark about 4.30

There are plenty of parts of the country that have cheaper housing, space and less crime, but within 1/2 hour public transport of a major city for your teens. Why not write a wish list and narrow it down.

There's such a huge difference between the two places! I don't think I'd be happy living in either of them.

Why not consider somewhere in between?

Love to know where on London you live. The thing about London is it has a transport system that is finally almost joined up. You can get anywhere pretty quickly.

We must have grown up in the same place @legallybland

I forgot that, that's a good point. Alcoholism is rife up here because theres nothing else to do and teens get addicted into young adulthood and it becomes a life long issue.

The rest of us just become weekend bingers grin

Does anyone enjoy living in the Highlands, or is it such a great place to live that you don't want to share it?!

It gets dark early in London during the winter too. I can cope with that!

I'm thinking within commuting distance of Inverness. So not the back of beyond.

I live in a part of London where everyone knows everyone. A bit like Eastenders. The countryside is not unique in that set up. It is ethnically and socially diverse here though. Are people trying to tell me that the Highlands aren't, and 'outsiders' aren't welcome?

I think if you are unhappy where you live, then listen to that. Life is too short to be miserable. I would also say that when I lived in London, I was pining for green space so much I thought I wanted to live in the country. But when you do move out (and it sounds like you will), the countryside isn't so very far away. I live in a Central Belt city in Scotland and can see the hills from our house - there just isn't the same sense of being shut in. I go hiking most weekends and get a break in the Highlands (in a normal year) 3-4 x a year. It's not hard from here. So by a means, move to the Highlands if you wish (they are stunning) but it doesn't have to be such an all or nothing choice.

Everything HighlandLiving says is true - and I can really relate to this bit:

You'll have a bigger house but if you need work doing you are again limited in choices of workmen and suppliers. Finding cheap deals is hard

• Oh god, it can be so bloody tough to get work done. It really can. Not just being limited in choices of workmen, but sometimes not being able to get anyone.

Midges, yes. Midges are a wretched nuisance.

And the weather. Unless you've experienced it, you really have no idea. It rains an awful lot. It can rain almost non-stop for three weeks. Seriously, it can. It frequently rains horizontally, with real force behind it. It hails, too, and the hail bloody well hurts The days are very long in summer, but they are very short in winter.

And the other problem can be, weirdly enough, tourists. The place I'm thinking of is a tourist area, and it has mainly single-track roads. In the summer it's a real pain to drive anywhere because of all the tourists on the roads. Loads of reversing and pulling in to passing-places. Lots of blockages caused by camper-vans.

You need to spend a decent amount of time up there in all seasons before you go for it, OP. It's by no means a walk in the park.

@MrsLangOnionsMcWeetabix

Just to slightly counteract the misery I live on the edge of the highlands in a small town and bloody love it. An hour (ish) in different directions and I can be in Glasgow, Edinburgh, the coast or the proper Highlands. Yes the weather is pants in winter but we hunker down and you do get used to it. I’ve lived all over the UK and wouldn’t trade this for anywhere else. Definitely agree with the poster above about modern/refurbished houses - spent part of my childhood in a draughty Victorian house on the west coast and vividly remember having to wear a coat indoors.

there's a big difference between that (what, Callander or somewhere?) and growing up in Achiltibuie (weep)!

so yeah "the highlands" ... she'll need to narrow it down a bit to proper teuchterland or somewhere within reach of civilization

See also:
drink
"incomers"
FPs

@hibbledibble Inverness is lovely and has tonnes of amenities (for older kids as well as grown ups), that makes sense!

Personally I would take rural living over city anytime ( live semi-rural but like to holiday in isolated places).
It’s really not that cold, just need the right clothes.
Other things to bear in mind - reduced local amenities, food shops likely to have less choice and not be open 24/7 . Just need to be organised and not run out of milk or something.
Drs and especially hospitals may be some distance away.
Bad weather, eg heavy snow can cut you off for a few days depending where you are, so have plenty supplies in and back up heating and lights in case of power cuts.
Entertainment options are different. I love being outside and away from people, but my kids like to have some friends to play with. You may spend a lot of your time being a taxi for them as they get older as public transport is usually very limited or non existent.
Crime and local ‘gangs’ are probably a lot less prominent than in cities but they do still exist. It’s not always idyllic.
Don’t go somewhere isolated then expect to change the bits you don’t like- I’m sure you wouldn’t, but I remember a couple who moved into a converted farm cottage then complained endlessly because the access road was narrow with passing places and didn’t have streetlights, and there were no local takeaway deliveries. - not quite sure what they expected 🤔 They became rather unpopular.
As far as schools go depending where you live there may be a long bus journey (my kids have a 45 min bus each way) or even weekday boarding - though that’s only in the most remote places. Schools may be very small with mixed age classes - can be good or bad depending.
Having said all that, I think it’s a great life if it’s what you like. Go for it! 👍

I also grew up near Inverness and would not move back if you paid me. Anti English feelings run deep and alcoholism and drinking is essential to fit into most local social lives.

I think you may hugely underestimate how much you enjoy not wearing a coat from March-September for example. And days that aren’t just dark and grey and wet for months on end in the winter. And being able to grow fruit and flowers out with a six week period.

And see any decent international artist or event without a three and a half hour drive!

Is it really that anti English? I have visited plenty, and met locals, who said it wouldn't be an issue.

The drinking issue doesn't put me off either. It's not like that doesn't happen in London. Far worse, we have lots of illicit drug use, which is on the rise, including crack and heroin. The local park is littered with paraphernalia including syringes.

Oh they welcome you with open arms as a visitor. Entirely different if you live there.

Drugs also a big issue. Honestly, I’d rent for a year to give it a go as if you sell up to move it’s very difficult
To make the reverse transition.