To up sticks from inner London for the Highlands?

[hibbledibble]

I've lived here all my life, but am increasingly finding it unpleasant. Too many people, too much pollution, too much crime, too little outdoor space. Since lockdown it's just got worse, as crime has increased, and the amenities have been closed. House feels too small when we are cooped up in it, but I could never afford anything bigger here, despite working in a professional job. I'm already in a not ideal area. Schools are also a concern, especially secondary, as they are rough and full of gangs.

The Highlands seems idyllic in comparison, and I could get a huge house, for less than the cost of my modest London terrace. The children would love the outdoor space, and it would be great for them to have freedom they couldn't in London, due to the crime here.

My concerns are the cold (but surely just need to wrap up warm?!) And feeling isolated. My job is portable.

Aibu?

there is a lot of anti-English, anti-incomer sentiment although you might not get it to your face.

I live near Edinburgh and my PILs and SILs live an hour north of Inverness. This is is their original home but they have all lived in big cities.
Where they live is idyllic, beautiful sunsets, a community which is welcoming and artistic, not too far from a town.
However, the weather can be bad, small town gossip and very far to proper airport and hospital.
Our DS2 had a neonatal issue where he needed to be blue lighted to hospital. DH and I have discussed that if we'd been in his parents' village, he would have died.
There are a lot of drugs, drink, deprivation and drink driving.

I grew up in the Highlands and Islands and have to agree with this,
"Anti English feelings run deep and alcoholism and drinking is essential to fit into most local social lives."
I have married a Londoner and the drinking culture in Scotland is very different.
There is also a surprising amount of drug use as there really isn't enough for teenagers to do (apart from sex and underage drinking)
The weather is obviously bad and culture very limited.

That said it is very scenic indeed.

Off you go - I'm sure it'll be fine - just report back in a couple of years......

I also agree with this
there is a lot of anti-English, anti-incomer sentiment although you might not get it to your face.

Did similar - massive city to small coastal town and it has done me the world of good. Be prepared for nosey people and gossips but once you're in, you're in iykwim

I don’t think I could cope with the winter

I'm in the highlands. I live fairly rural. I originally came from a large English city. It is a much slower pace of life. It is stunning in the summer. We have the sea and the heather covered hills. Lots of wildlife.

In the winter most attractions close down. We get very short days and it gets dark early. We don't have street lights. So it is black outside. But we do get to see the stars. The weather is cold but in my area its the wind that depresses incomers the most. Days and days of strong, gale force wind you can barely stand up in. Meaning you are stuck inside. We get alot of powercuts in the winter months too. Mainly due to the storms. But they can be fun.

We are about 3 hours drive to the nearest city. So going anywhere/ doing anything always involves a lot of travel before we do anything. It puts you off bothering to go to a gig or see a show.

Teenagers are bored out of there minds. They move away as soon as they can. Drugs are becoming a problem. Their is a high suicide rate here too. Jobs are limited, you need to move away if you want a decent job. Otherwise roll your sleeves up and be prepared to do anything.

People are friendly and welcoming. Their is a community spirit which was alien to me when I first moved here. They can be a little small minded, but I have not experienced any problems being English. Overall people have embraced me. Everyone knows everyone else and their business. Take any two random people. They are related somehow and will go through the family tree until they can work out how. When I first moved here everyone wanted to know who I knew. As soon as they know someone you know. You are a friend.

I've never lived in London but I've lived in Inverness. If your job is portable take a year renting in Inverness and travel round a bit and see what you fancy. I've also lived in a more remotepart of the highlands and I didnt really like it. As pp said I was X's wife.and Y's mum. No privacy, everybody knows your business. It is absolutely breathtakingly beautiful but when you get snowed in most Januarys that scenery is not quite such a thing. If you're thinking about within an hour of Inverness, dingwall, invergordon and Tain would fit but i think your find them a bit of a culture shock after London. Inverness would be perhaps doable. You could get lovely big cosy newish built well insulated house in inverness for your london house. And you really need to be able to drive to live in the highlands outside inverness and I'd probably recommend a car for each adult.

I sound full of negatives but the big.positive was the freedom for DC that they could never have had in our previous city

But please for the love all that's holy dont up and move to the "The Highlands" without a great deal of research. For one thing if prices rise.in London you may never be able to go back if you change your mind

If you want any more details PM me

Inverness is a lovely town but has huge drug problems. As others have said, do not underestimate how different the weather is and the amount of days you will be stuck indoors. We have friends in London and go down regularly- one time we went out for dinner and sat outside as it was a “nice night”. Everyone else was inside and the waiter thought we were mad. It was only nice to us as it wasn’t raining!!

We are in the north/ish west of Scotland and summer is a guaranteed wash out every year. Usually get a good week in may and September. It’s not just a case of wrapping up - we are talking relentless rain that comes down sideways for days on end, often accompanied by strong winds. You’ll need a big house as you’ll be in it a lot!!

Of course life is not just about the weather but I think you would really miss the outdoors lifestyle London weather permits. Our London friends come up for a week every year and say it’s the thing that stops them considering a move - the lack of having morning coffee, dinner in the garden etc.

I love Scotland but grew up here. I’d research other places closer to London but what might give you more of what you are looking for.

@hibbledibble

Is it really that anti English? I have visited plenty, and met locals, who said it wouldn't be an issue.

The drinking issue doesn't put me off either. It's not like that doesn't happen in London. Far worse, we have lots of illicit drug use, which is on the rise, including crack and heroin. The local park is littered with paraphernalia including syringes.

Yes. I would think it highly likely that ‘the Highlands’ wouldn’t want you. As a resident. Tourists don’t count.

I say this as someone who grew up there. My parents moved us there when I was a child. My Mum was English. My Dad was... from a different part of the Highlands. People weren’t particularly friendly, to put it mildly. And nowadays there are so many ‘incomers’ that it feels more hostile than ever. People feel encroached upon and pushed out.

I'm from London and I LOVE visiting the Highlands (and the rest of Scotland) but I don't think I could live there, mostly because it would be super far from my family and friends but also because of the stark difference in life styles.

If I was going to relocate I think I'd go for somewhere in between.

I wouldn't, and I already live in Argyll, just not the remote part.

@hibbledibble

Is it really that anti English? I have visited plenty, and met locals, who said it wouldn't be an issue.

The drinking issue doesn't put me off either. It's not like that doesn't happen in London. Far worse, we have lots of illicit drug use, which is on the rise, including crack and heroin. The local park is littered with paraphernalia including syringes.

Scotland has the highest drug death rate in the EU.

Rain doesnt fall vertically, it whips you in the face at great speeds

This is my favourite description of Scottish rain ever!

Have you ever been to 'the highlands'??

I was brought up in Inverness and live here although I have lived elsewhere in Scotland and abroad at various times. I think it is a great place to live. OK - there are not the same opportunities for shopping and cultural activities, jobs opportunities are fewer, and you can get to hate the long drive down the A9 to get anywhere.

BUT I can see otters and seals in the river in the city centre, we have good leisure facilities, a theatre and cinemas, there are amazingly beautiful places to visit within an easy 30-min drive, there are plenty of activities to get involved in (outwith Covid at any rate), and life for kids is pretty much gang free and safe. The weather is not normally that bad either, and Inverness itself is midge-free apart from the odd one or two on summer evenings. It is true, if you are a gardener, that the growing season is shorter than further south although greenhouses and polytunnels make a difference.

I am not recognising the reports above of lots of drugged up, drunk locals either, and we have supermarkets just like anywhere else (although a Sainsbury or Waitrose would be nice).

Inverness has grown immensely in my lifetime and there is no shortage of English people living here, apparently quite happily. It will only be a problem if you move here then proceed to tell everyone at every opportunity how much better things are done in England!

I would recommend a new house over a Victorian one though for warmth, although that would apply to most of the UK.

Yes, it can be very very anti English. The English struggle to fit in.
Of course as a visitor you're welcome. You're bringing money in and then leaving.

I dont know where a past poster moved to but "once you're in, you're in" is nonsense in most of the highlands. My son was born here, i was raised here from a very very young age. Neither of us are "locals". My family did fine because they are uber religious and fit in with the old FP types. But we will always be incomers. Always.

Locals are also favoured for amything and everything.

But yes, i do like living here. I am a home bird. I stay indoors or walk my dog. I dont feel the need to socialise and I dont mind everybody knowing my business.

I have found it odd recently though, on tinder, visitors asking what people do for fun here, and not knowing how to answer. We get pissed. Or we stay in and watch telly or hang out with family or friends. What else is there to do??

Theres no opportunities for young people here. If they have hobbies and interests you have to drive for hours to get them to practice. I used to resent that as a kid. Most teens leave if they want a career. Thats normal. E.g in my 20s there wasnt many my age around. Typically teens complain bitterly about being here and plan an early escape.

People often comment about the culture shock when they come here. I really urge you to spend a couple of years here without selling up, through winters. Visiting isnt the same because its the relentlessness of it that people struggle with.
If you can make it 3 years you'll stay. People often break before that.

Inverness is a better option. Its the only place in the highlands that isnt very highlandy.

There is also a surprising amount of drug use as there really isn't enough for teenagers to do (apart from sex and underage drinking)

I was going to say that. I have rellies in the Highlands, and one of them went seriously off the rails as a teen and still really struggled with substance abuse.

There is one properly equipped hospital (as opposed to little cottage hospitals) for the whole region - another rellie had to be airlifted from one side of the country to the other when she went into a diabetic coma.

And really, trust me, you don't know about short days if you live in London. There's a huge difference psychologically between 8 hours of daylight and just 6. You go to work/school in the dark, you come home in the dark. (Though as others have said, flipside is really bright nights in summer).

Also, forget about just the Highlands - if you've only ever lived in a city, rural life anywhere, whether it's Sutherland or Cornwall, will come as a huge culture shock. You have no anonymity, no privacy. Everyone knows everyone else's business. If you fall out with one of the big cheeses in your small community, you're stuffed.

By all means give it a go, but FFS, rent, don't sell up until you know it works for you.

If it's raining and windy in London does that put them (or you) off going to the park? Or do you all relish a bit of a hike so long as you're wearing decent rain gear? You say your kids would love all the countryside. But do they spend a lot of time outside in poor weather now? I grew up in a market town with surrounded by farming communities and the kids of lived most rural were the least happy and the most likely to do drugs. Teens in London have a lot that they can do and if they have an interest in something it's normally relatively easy to find a group that can provide opportunities and nurture any talent. In rural communities that sort of activity is much more limited.

I don't think every city dweller who wants to move to the countryside is foolish, but most haven't really thought through what it's like, how much they use the conveniences of urban life and how different building a social network will be in a rural community (for instance, what skills or interests would you take with you that would fit in well to the type of community you're thinking of joining?).

We love the Isle of Skye and frequently holiday there. We love the scenery and atmosphere and don't really care about the mostly crap weather. But it can get crowded especially in August with people driving bloody motor homes along single track roads. We've sworn never to go there in August again. I would not like to live there either. It just takes hours to get anywhere.

It depends where you move to in the Highlands op. If you go somewhere naice they won't care you're English and indeed you'll likely find other English people living there.

Winters in the Highland really are shocking and the road network is shite so you'll need a 4 wheel drive and confidence driving in snow. It's beautiful but if you're moving from London the lack of amenities will be a shock to the system.

No coffee shops, chain clothes shops, you might not be close to a big supermarket, not nearly as much choice.

How about somewhere like Bearsden or Milngavie? Semi rural and Naice but less than 10 miles to Glasgow city centre.

Haggisfish
Oh they welcome you with open arms as a visitor.

Yes, really friendly, like the guy in a bar when I was visiting who told me to fuck off back where I came from.

I wouldn't do it, I moved 50 miles out of London and would go back in a heartbeat, if I won the lottery so I can afford the house prices.

Oh is from the Highlands about 20 miles north of Inverness, I love to visit the family up there i do feel like an outsider in the in laws town. Neices and nephews dont have much to do locally they have to travel if they want to go to the pictures, concerts etc. There isn't many jobs, hard to socialise with school friends who might live miles away. It is beautiful but isolating.