To think old women should stop touching my children in shops!

[DabblesInDarknessWithALightOn]

Yes, my dds are beautiful! but dd2 (who have very natural blonde ringlets) is very shy, and does nto like it when old woemn touch her hair and say awww isnt she beautiul, what lovely hari.. yes its nice they compliemnt her, but she doesnt like being touched by strangers!!

I think its natural for people to want to touch young children and show affection, humans are tactile things!!
But i do understand what you say, when shes 15 they won't even give her a second glance so maybe just grin and bear it and move away asap.

No - not unreasonable at all! My poor ds get all the old haridans with nicotine stained fingers pawing at him - take your fag breath away from my baby!!!!!
I hate it! - I've never man handled other peoples kids so I dont want it done to mine thank you very much!

YANBU I know how it is to have a shy LO. But do try to understand that these oldies can't quite get out of they're era of being touchie feelie. If you let them know that she is shy and scared of strangers they'll most likely back off.

If someone I don't like the look of is going for a poke of my dd I loudly tell them that she has a horrid cold or a nasty eye infection so it's best if they don't touch her.

yanbu i would never touch some one elses baby. ok I am tempted when they have bare feet..........i want to tickle

We took DD (2 and a half) out for a pizza tonight and an older lady who had been smiling at her all evening came over and gave her a big kiss before she left! DD is mixed race with very curly hair and people are always touching it when we're out. Personally, i think it's lovely that people are friendly enough to take time to speak to and show affection to a child they do not know. Wish it happened more between adults tbh (although perhaps without the hair touching an kisses!!) I am constantly amazed at how miserable and grumpy people are with strangers (We live in London and I deffo think people are grumpier here!!)
Don't think YABU though, your children are yours alone and if they or you feel uncomfortable then it is more tha fair to ask people not to touch!

I love it when people interact with my children - it's good for them and good for the children. It's not going to do any but the most fragile of new borns any harm, and it's a good bit of learning for older ones.

Oh and I forgot to ask - would it be all right if young women touched your LOs?

How about if an adult came up to you, touched your hair, stroked your face and kissed you, another adult? How would you feel? That your personal space was a bit invaded or would you welcome it? You can say if you like it or not. Kids can't really.

This topic generates a lot of divided opinions. It would seem to me that kids don't get a lot of say as to who touches them, kisses them etc. Either because they can't (too young) or too shy.

I don't think there's anything wrong in asking the parent present - and it would be extremely polite - if it's ok to touch/kiss/hug child as the parent probably knows if the kid is ok with it.

Yes, it's a shame the olds or child adoring people can't express their admiration for lovely children as and when they want but it's quite important for people to respect other people's space and that include children's space. They might be little and cute but they still need respect. I think people should ask.

Itsgrimupnorth - I just don't understand what is so freaky about touching people. I know loads of people feel the same way you do and suspect I am in the minority but just don't really get why it is such a big deal. I am 30 weeks pregnant at the mo and am getting the random bump touching thing but don't mind at all. Its not like they are groping my norks or trying to snog me! I recently had a horrible experience at a hospital appointment and got tearful and one of the nurses gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, just thought she was lovely tbh.
My DD is extremely affectionate and friendly but on the occasions she does not want to hug somebody/kiss family goodbye/sit on somebodies lap etc I don't push her into it. She is more than capable of making her feelings known, even at 2!

I used to want to smack any one who touched my bump. I'm not cattle! really upset my sister in law and niece by glaring at them every time the made the advance. didn't mind the grand parents doing it though.

My dsd always wants to touch other peoples kids but then she is only 10 so thats ok? {hmm} it really depends on how your child reacts to it. If they don't like it then tell the stanger "yep I know they are cute but they aren't toys so back off"

'spose there's a line. I have mixed feelings about it. It depends in what way people are tactile and affectionate.

I was out in the supermarket with DD the other week - letting her have a toddle around with her reins on (she is 14 months old) and an elderly lady came up to her and hugged her totally out of the blue, which my DD didn't like at all (despite the fact that she is generally pretty extrovert and thinks nothing of going up to complete strangers and hugging them herself )

I was pretty taken aback and didn't really know how to react! DD made her feelings pretty clear mind you! The lady meant no harm and in a way it was quite sweet that she felt so affectionate towards my daughter (who, after all, is very fabulous and gorgeous!) - but it was definitely an invasion of DD's personal space and I wasn't happy about it.

When that kind of thing happens I tend to try and engage them in conversation. The worst one I had was a pissed bloke in a shop trying to tell my dsd there was no father christmas! she was 7 at the time. Spoke to him to try and suss out his mental state, by this point dsd was very upset. He left and I got the shop to call the police. Can't have anyone disrespecting Santa. God bless him and all the present the kids will get me this year! {wink]

my 5 year old son always says"oh get off my lovely curly hair you wouldn't like it if i did it to you" this usually shocks the old one's and i walk off very prompt

Why be rude?

have seen this type of thread so many times before but I still have to ask what's so awful about touch? Rhetorical question btw because we'll never agree.

We'll all be on here as lonely old biddies in a few decades, sad that nobody will come visit and hug us...

Or even sad that our children are too old to be cute as little buttons, and nobody takes any notice of them any more. Well, not unless they're complaining about the yoofs of today.

I love it when people admire the DCs and give them cuddles and strokes. I'm very un-touchy-feely myself, and I don't want my children to grow up the same way. I also like to think that my children have occasionally made some lonely person's day by giving them a smile, a wave and a cuddle. God knows, there's enough misery and loneliness around - I'd like to think that my gorgeous little familiy help make things better for people whose own families may out of cuddle distance.

Here here!

My mum is in her 80s and lives alone. A while ago a little girl rushed up to her calling "Oh Look, a Grandma!" and gave her a hug. It brighetned both their days.

Do I have particularly repellent dds? Neither of mine get mauled by anyone, male/female/old/young ....

ProfYaffle - it's that air of effortless superiority they project....

It won't last anyway. There's a point when children stop being "cute" to strangers and you'll be complaining that everyone seems to shudder and pull away.

YABU. I can't see the harm in someone touching your dd's hair. You can't bring up children in a bubble IMO.

Hope you are not repelled because of the age difference. AS someone else said, one day many of us here will be old, widowed, children grown up and left home, with no one to cuddle or give us cuddles.

Have you seen the film 'the witches'? Just be careful if they're wearing gloves......

As I asked earlier - would it be all right if young women touched them......?

Why don't you just keep them at home if you don't want then to have interaction with other people?