To think old women should stop touching my children in shops!

[DabblesInDarknessWithALightOn]

Yes, my dds are beautiful! but dd2 (who have very natural blonde ringlets) is very shy, and does nto like it when old woemn touch her hair and say awww isnt she beautiul, what lovely hari.. yes its nice they compliemnt her, but she doesnt like being touched by strangers!!

Not unreasonable by the way. You have every right to say 'please don't touch my dd, she doesn't like it'

Personally love the few people left in this world who show me and my children affection! Maybe I'm just strange but I am very tactile and I would be very cross if my boys were rude to their elders. Obviously feel sorry for those who don't like it but don't get a say though.

"Please don't touch my dd - she doesn't like it" But be very sure that it really is dd who doesn't like it and you're not projecting your own feelings, otherwise you risk really hurting someone else. That's fine if it would upset dc badly, but IMHO not otherwise.

seeker - i do not care if the person is old or young, or (indeed another child!)

I can assure you that I am not projecting. It makes my dd uncomfortable when strangers paw at her. she is alright if they just smile and talk to her.

So why did your OP talk about "old women" then?

i think the whole thing is odd

why would you deny someone that pleasure of saying something nice to someone

i would teach my child that its a compliment asnd they are to smile and be nice to old lady

because in the last couple of days it has happened very frequently and it has been 'old women'.

look I am not ageist. my mother is an old woman (obviously!) and one day I will be too (hopefully)

it just made my child feel uncomfortable - but never mind her feelings, right custenstein ??

not right dabbles - and not fair really.

i would teach my child its a compliment

so when walking out of shop " wow that lady was nice wasn't she, oh she thought you were pretty, and she was right your themost beautiful girl in the world"

i think that this would put her at ease too, i mean if you secretly inside want to kill old women who touch your child
then i'm guessing child is going to feel your feelings.

i'm just suggesting you can turn it around and tell her its a compliment, she is beatiful and old women were just being nice.

duh! why oh why did I not think of saying that to dd???

(erm hard to carry off sarcasm in type....)

YABU.

And uptight.

If your child is uncomfortable about it, then naturally you are going to be too.

I just think that women (old and young) can't help themselves. Little children are so adorable and they just long to get near them. It's not meant to be offensive or annoying. They just want to get close. I suspect I'll be the same.

unwarrented - why put on AIBU - then be rude. ffs.

Message withdrawn

You could teach her to do what my dd2 did (totally without being trained to do so by me, I hasten to add) when she was about 2 and an old dear attempted to stroke her in the Co-op. She leaned in to me and, in a stage whisper that could have been heard 20 mile away, announced 'Mummy... that lady is a bit SCAAAAAARY'! Old lady backed off....!

Message withdrawn

YABU

I'm quite horrified really. Would it not be a horrible world if we all floated around in our little bubbles never paying a comment to anyone or stroking the hand of a baby or toddler.

OK I'll say it again YABFU

I read the whole thread and I am also split in 2 about the whole thing as it is so true that we live in a very cold, unfriendly society and it is nice when people are kind and loving towards each other.

It does however irretate me when people touch my 4 1/2 months old dd's hands because she is teething and her hands are constantly in her mouth - which means that if someone touches her hands all those germs go straight into her mouth. And I don't know whether people washed their hands after they went to the toilet or when they were on public transport.

Another thing that really grinds me is when people kiss dd - this is NOT cool - I am not talking about family - I am talking about our cleaner who smokes (not in the flat but I know she smokes!) and also a friend of my parents visited us recently and she kissed dd on her MOUTH!! My dh noticed it too and he said wtf!!!

Unfortunately I am too spineless to say something when people do these things, but I do know that I will have to start saying something, but I hate confrontation.

And with so many bad people out there, one has to be very careful to teach your child that it is ok if strangers start fondling you and cuddling with you - real pity though.

What a strange world we inhabit these days!

How do you think your child is going to build up an effective immune system if your every instinct is to protect them from germs. Within the bounds of reason, germs are exactly what they need.

If you give the immune system nothing to do, it begins to attack the very host it is there to protect.

I am a cleaner who also smokes (although not, of course, when I'm cleaning). I'm not quite sure what germs you think I carry, but I think if it bothers you that much, maybe you should do the cleaning yourself?

I agree Rabbitbreath. I have a friend who always kisses DD on the mouth and I really don't like it. My friend gets cold sores and although I'm sure she wouldn't kiss her whilst she had one it makes uneasy.

One one of my first shopping trips with DD she was grizzling a little. An old lady came up and started fussing over her then put her finger in DD's mouth for her to suck on!!

She leaned in to me and, in a stage whisper that could have been heard 20 mile away, announced 'Mummy... that lady is a bit SCAAAAAARY'! Old lady backed off....!

I would have been very angry with my dcs if they had been so rude - just imagine how the old lady felt!

I quite agree, seeker. How fucking rude is that??

If my son had said that to a total stranger who was just trying to be kind, he'd have been told off, not praised.

She was 2, seeker... And I did tell her that the lady just wanted to be friends (since the lady, and half the shop, had heard dd's judgement on her). The lady was laughing... but I suspect that she might have thought to engage toddlers in conversation first in future before going straight in for the stroke! But, yes, if dd said something like that now, at the age of 5, I'd be furious, because she should know better. 2-y-olds tend to just say what they think, ime (or perhaps it's just mine...).

Oh, and I actually like people admiring my children. But it's a fact that sometimes the children themselves don't like it.