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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Secretly reduce my work output

43 replies

Tinsel57 · 02/12/2020 23:19

I’ve got a new job and my manager still hasn’t provided my reference after 5 weeks of being sent it. I’ve asked around 3 times whether it has been done and the same answer keeps coming back ..... right yes I’m going to do it tomorrow or this week. I’m getting annoyed. My new job won’t give me a start date until they receive it. I just wonder what’s taking so long. I’m secretly going on a protest. Productivity will reduce slightly. Not enough for it to be noticed but just to get satisfaction! How can I get my reference...

OP posts:
CorianderQueen · 02/12/2020 23:22

Email Hr?

Original poster
Tinsel57 · 02/12/2020 23:24

I guess so. It’s not on

OP posts:
SimplyRadishing · 02/12/2020 23:25

Email HR and stop doing work.

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 02/12/2020 23:28

Not sure that stopping working, or pissing off your manager is sensible when you're waiting for a reference...

GlowingOrb · 02/12/2020 23:57

Unless this is some special circumstance, It takes perhaps a whole minute for him to give a reference.

Merryoldgoat · 03/12/2020 00:51

Arrange a meeting with him for 30 minutes to ‘go through some of your work’ and when the time comes say ‘I blocked out the time so you could write my reference so could you please do it now and then I don’t have to bother you anymore.’

BlueBirdGreenFence · 03/12/2020 00:55

Email HR or him saying they've now been waiting x length for reference and can't provide you with a start date without it. Use the words anxious, impacting your mental health and stressed in it and it'll be completed in a day.

Bills2pay · 03/12/2020 06:10

OP your manager sounds v busy and/or lazy and/or at a loss of what to say in your reference. Instead of working to rule why not try to help them out. Suggest sending a sweet email thanking them for their support in agreeing to provide a reference. Say also that you attach a brief factual summary of your career at the company which you hope might provide helpful background information for the reference. In your ‘summary’ include dates, job roles at the company, key tasks, achievements etc - in short everything you want the reference to say. It is highly likely your manager will complete the reference by cutting and pasting from your summary. Good luck!

Chilver · 03/12/2020 06:21

I agree with pp poster in that I would write a reference yourself and send it to your boss with a 'just trying to be helpful/ here is one I drafted, happy for you to use or amend and send type of cover email.

I would also go to HR if thst didn't work.

hopeishere · 03/12/2020 06:23

What sort of reference is it? Most places just do basic confirmations now.

Pipandmum · 03/12/2020 06:24

@Bills2pay has the right idea. Reducing your output is rather immature and won't get you the result you want.

YardleyX · 03/12/2020 06:32

Is he/she writing you a personal reference?

Is it a very small business?

If not, then surely this is a basic HR task. Often they are outsourced to agencies.

maverickallthetime · 03/12/2020 06:43

All references I've completed recently for staff have been tick box jobs- nice and quick! Hope you get it done soon.

Beautiful3 · 03/12/2020 07:11

Ask hr to do it. It should be them anyway.

daisypond · 03/12/2020 07:25

A manager writing a reference wouldn’t be allowed where I work. They are specifically banned from doing so. The reference has to come from HR, who usually have never met you and work in a different city. Are you sure your manager is the person to ask?

happinessischocolate · 03/12/2020 07:27

Ask HR or can you not get one from a previous employer? I had this problem and my new employer accepted a reference from an ex colleague from a previous job.

Moondust001 · 03/12/2020 07:31

If your action has no noticeable impact, what on earth is the point. Go over the managers head! Simple.

KatherineJaneway · 03/12/2020 07:33

Do you have an HR department? If so the reference request should go to them, not your manager.

RosesAndHellebores · 03/12/2020 07:56

Depends on the field and level of seniority.

It's a tricky one because as the employer I wouldn't confirm your contract without the reference and as an employee I wouldn't resign until the new contract was confirmed.

I think the factual draft is a good idea. I imagine your manager may simply be up to his arse in it. Having said that I have recently turned around very fast references for staff who left years ago.

WillSantaBeComingToTown · 03/12/2020 08:02

@GlowingOrb

Unless this is some special circumstance, It takes perhaps a whole minute for him to give a reference.
It takes 1-2 hours in our sector

Sometime is get 5 requests a week- all does in my own time.

nosswith · 03/12/2020 08:24

Talk to your manager or HR, not do some petty protest.

LoisLanyard · 03/12/2020 08:35

@Bills2pay

OP your manager sounds v busy and/or lazy and/or at a loss of what to say in your reference. Instead of working to rule why not try to help them out. Suggest sending a sweet email thanking them for their support in agreeing to provide a reference. Say also that you attach a brief factual summary of your career at the company which you hope might provide helpful background information for the reference. In your ‘summary’ include dates, job roles at the company, key tasks, achievements etc - in short everything you want the reference to say. It is highly likely your manager will complete the reference by cutting and pasting from your summary. Good luck!
This seems a very sensible approach! maybe wouldn't work in a large organisation who have rules around this, but if it is a small place this just might be what your manager needs.
VictoriaSpongeBob · 03/12/2020 09:08

This happened to me when leaving my last job. My manager was the head of HR which made it more difficult. In the end I just asked to have a word with them in private and just asked directly why they hadn't done it and told them how upset I was about it. It was done the next day

SpaceOp · 03/12/2020 09:43

I don't really understand this. The new job won't confirm your role until they've got a reference from your old job? That's a bit batshit. The most I've ever heard is that you are told that the job can be withdrawn if it turns out you lied on your CV about previous roles. In that case, they don't need a reference from your current boss. They need formal confirmation from HR that you worked at this employer from date x to date y. And that's it.

Calmandmeasured1 · 03/12/2020 09:54

@BlueBirdGreenFence

Email HR or him saying they've now been waiting x length for reference and can't provide you with a start date without it.
I agree with this. Just go to HR and state facts.

Use the words anxious, impacting your mental health and stressed in it and it'll be completed in a day.
I don't agree with this. It does nothing to help those with severe mental health issues, that people play the "impacting my mental health'" card over such trivialities. Stress is a normal part of life and it is only when it is severe and long-lasting that it may start to cause poor mental health.