To think Dp's ex is being petty?

[WhoisRebecca]

Dp received a message from his ex today accusing him of putting their children's lives in 'most grave danger' today. The children came for tea and as it was the 6 year old's birthday their grandma had baked a cake and stood in the garden with a mask on to deliver it. She may have forgotten herself for a second and stepped through the kitchen door as she was bringing the cake in - but that was literally it.

According to the ex - this has threatened the children's lives and shows a disregard for their welfare. She has suggested that DP is unable to keep them safe as we are in a Tier 2 area and this is not allowed. She then helpfully copied and pasted the Tier 2 rules, with capitalised words for added emphasis.

The ex has a history of being acrimonious and has previously stopped contact for spurious reasons (one being a bath toy she didn't approve of!) and has been told in no uncertain terms that she must stick to the court order.

AIBU to think she is using the Covid situation here? Both children go to school and she is a key worker. We don't have visitors over and flagrantly breach the rules and we do social distance etc. None of the wider family or children are vulnerable either.

To be honest the covid rules are irrelevant in this case and slightly ridiculous. Last night I had to tell DSD that her friend can't come round to our house even though they spend all day with each other at school.

Yes she may have concerns - we all do however it does sounds like it is another excuse to have a pop.

She's just trying to make herself feel like she's above you. All she's done is show she's crazy.

My son is actually at home isolating because his bubble closed. She knows that (kids go to the same school) but because that is unequivocally within the rules, she has not mentioned that as an issue. She's a key worker, I'm a key worker, kids all go to school. Yet grandma in a mask poses a grave threat? She honestly did not come in for birthday tea - I was upstairs and heard her say a quick hi at the door and then leave.

She sounds very unreasonable, though that is based, obviously, only on the one side of the story we get.

Would you other half not seek more than 50/50. If she’s making all these issues with contact for very spurious reasons and stops contact Willy billy could he argue parental alienation. If things are as you say it’s so unfair on the children to have inconsistent contact with one of their parents because the other is so unreasonableness. Imagine having your gran bringing you a cake result in your parents arguing and potentially stopping contact. Awful.

Courts rarely change residency and parental alienation is notoriously difficult to prove. He would love residency but realistically I don't think he would get it. The relationship ended when she punched him and he called the police (all on record) but he didn't press charges. He left the family home to diffuse the situation and that's when she started a litany of spurious allegations (all ludicrous) and tried to stop him seeing the children.

She's a decent parent other than her treatment of dp - the children are certainly well cared for. But she has tried her utmost to stop them having any kind of relationship with their father. She once called the police because dp didn't allow her to have four Skype calls in one weekend (she has one court ordered on a Saturday).

After the court order was first put in place, she regularly breached it, saying the children were ill, or that one child had a birthday party and they came as a pair etc etc. The judge (it's gone beyond magistrates now) did say further breaches would result in sanctions and possibly a change of residency- but we are not at that stage yet.

Are social services still involved?

Social services have never been involved.

Allegations raised in family court not abuse! Not social services! Things like 'a fake poo bath toy' are not a concern of social services surprisingly..

This is part of a long catalogue of messages which are aggressive in tone and looking to find fault

There was fault to find! Grandma shouldn't have been there. She didn't just bob in and out - your dp has written she stayed for 10 minutes. And she shouldn't have bobbed in and out either! You need to admit that you were in the wrong here and move on. You gave her an inch and she's taken the mile

The children weren't present when she punched dp.

She was here for ten minutes on the patio outside. Which is within the rules.

Any DV incident where there are kids in the home that is reported to the police will have social service involved. I understand the police decided it wasn't chargeable but social still would have come

She was here for ten minutes on the patio outside. Which is within the rules.

At first you said, she may have forgotten herself for a second and came in the house but you were upstairs so didn’t seem to know what actually happened. Then your partner has come on to say she came in for a few seconds. Surely you’d know what actually happened as it has caused an issue with the ex and to post about it on here, you must have talked about what exactly happened.

If you have been as unclear with the ex as you have on here and then the kids have said that grandma came in, if she’s as crazy as you say, then you’ve given her ammunition. If she is indeed looking to cause a problem and stop contact then you need to be completely transparent in anything that involves the children.

It sounds completely draining though and not great for anyone especially the children.

And sorry, I missed when you said your daughter has just come out of hospital. I hope she is ok. 💐