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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to email class teacher?

84 replies

Year1Mum · 02/12/2020 21:54

My DS’s class teacher is off sick and he is missing her a lot. She has been off since Wednesday last week.
Would I be unreasonable to send her an email to tell her we hope she gets well soon? Would love to show our support and let her know how fab we think she is.

OP posts:

Stompythedinosaur · 02/12/2020 21:56

Leave her alone while she is sick!

OfTheNight · 02/12/2020 21:58

She won’t be checking her emails. Maybe send a get well message via school if you want.

BecomeStronger · 02/12/2020 21:58

It's still work to the teacher. Don't do it.

Jellycatspyjamas · 02/12/2020 21:59

She’s sick, leave her alone.

Ironingontheceiling · 02/12/2020 22:00

The teacher is off sick.

She shouldn’t be near her emails.

Overstepping a boundary. She’s not your friend.

FelicityPike · 02/12/2020 22:00

Jesus leave her alone!

Aragog · 02/12/2020 22:01

That kind of email would be fine, so long as it isn't accompanied with a question or any expectation to reply.

We've had several staff off sick with Covid recently, myself included. Our learning platform allows for messaging as well as our email system. I know staff have received messages from parents during this time. The ones that simply sent a get well soon type message have been appreciated from the staff. The ones asking for the teacher to sort out reading books etc less so!

thecherryontop · 02/12/2020 22:03

I think it would be better to wait and send an email on her return saying you're so glad to have her back and and are happy she's better again.

Original poster

Year1Mum · 02/12/2020 22:07

Ahh I didn’t think of it like that, there would be no expectation to reply. I wouldn’t want her to feel pressure to reply though!
A parent knows the teacher personally and has said it’s stress related (of course the parent should not be commenting on this to other parents!!!) and wanted to show that we’re thinking of her and that DS loves her

OP posts:

Jellycatspyjamas · 02/12/2020 22:09

That’s an appalling breach of boundaries on the part of the friend, I certainly wouldn’t email the teacher a get well message on the back of that knowledge - her medical information is private and personal. I’d hate to think people were talking about me in those circumstances.

dootball · 02/12/2020 22:09

I am a teacher, and I would have to be unbelievably sick not to reply to e-mails!

damnthisvirusandmarriage · 02/12/2020 22:12

I think this is a lovely idea. Nice to know you’re being thought about.

TheSilentStars · 02/12/2020 22:15

I'm a teacher and would be very happy to receive such an email and to know people were thinking of me.

Sally872 · 02/12/2020 22:22

Well intentioned but if she is stressed I would be worried any message about "ds is missing you" may be additional pressure/make teacher feel guilty about being off.

TryingnottobeWaynettaSlob · 02/12/2020 22:25

Omg leave the poor teacher to recover in peace.

rainingcats · 02/12/2020 22:26

Perhaps wait until she is back and then send a x is so glad to have you back - he really missed you last week message

IWantT0BreakFree · 02/12/2020 22:29

Maybe some people would be pleased to receive the email, but for many (most?) it would be extremely intrusive and inappropriate. It’s a lot of risk for not much gain. If she’s off with stress, she probably doesn’t want things pinging through on her work email or to be guilt tripped about how much her class misses her (whether or not that’s your intention). She probably doesn’t want to think about work at all.

scammedmum29 · 02/12/2020 22:29

I wouldn’t. If she’s off with stress then emailing may add to the pressure she feels under. Show appreciation when she’s back with a nice card/letter at the end of term.

BillysMyBunny · 02/12/2020 22:30

I’m a teacher and I wouldn’t find it pressure to receive a message like this. She might not be checking her emails but I always check mine when I’m off, including when I’ve been off due to mental health issues, and would find it uplifting to know the children were thinking of me.

Maybe DS could draw a picture for her which you to scab/ take a photo of and include as the snail rather than a message about how he misses her? More of a ‘thinking of you’ sentiment and then you can avoid putting any guilt on her around her being off/ him missing her and you can add you’re not expecting a reply as you know she may not be reading whelks, but DS just wanted to show he cared.

BillysMyBunny · 02/12/2020 22:31

Sorry, my autocorrect seemingly hates the word email and seems to have replaced it with both snail and whelks in that sentence - not sure what the obsession with molluscs is!

Aragog · 02/12/2020 22:32

Thinking of you rather than missing you would take any perceived pressure off perhaps.

And a lovely hand drawn picture from your child would be nice I think.

lifestooshort123 · 02/12/2020 22:35

I'd go for a scanned get-well picture that your dd has made - please don't say that she loves her!

Macblondie · 02/12/2020 22:37

If they are off with stress, then it’s unlikely that they’ll be checking their emails, and may just need a complete break without any communication from the school. It’s a lovely sentiment though, but I agree with others- a card or handmade picture to say that your child is pleased they are back would be far better.

saraclara · 02/12/2020 22:54

@Jellycatspyjamas

Yep. That is a very good reason NOT to contact the teacher. And the person who told you is absolutely not her friend. That's appalling. I hate parent gossip about the private life of teacher so much.

Peppafrig · 02/12/2020 22:55

Would you like to bothered by work when you are off sick ?

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