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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to email class teacher?

84 replies

Year1Mum · 02/12/2020 21:54

My DS’s class teacher is off sick and he is missing her a lot. She has been off since Wednesday last week.
Would I be unreasonable to send her an email to tell her we hope she gets well soon? Would love to show our support and let her know how fab we think she is.

OP posts:
PrivateD00r · 03/12/2020 08:24

OP it was a lovely gesture. Maybe instead you could send an email to the head about how fantastic she is? Maybe not even mention she is off, just a general thank you?

Dear love her, I am sure there are many in the same boat right now Flowers

MrsClatterbuck · 03/12/2020 08:24

She has only been off a week. If off from stress she could be off quite a while even months. I have been off with depression and anxiety and the first few weeks until my meds kicked in I was a complete mess. Not sure about sending a message. Certainly don't say anything that would guilt trip her. The thing is if it was a physical reason it would be maybe ok but with a mental health reason you have no idea what her reaction would be. She could have a totally irrational to us reaction or maybe delighted. You have no idea so maybe best left until her return

Jellycatspyjamas · 03/12/2020 08:29

Pp have commented that they wouldn't like knowing that people had been discussing their medical history if they were the teacher. Being sick as a teacher is pretty obvious. You aren't in class! Also there has been discussion whether the teacher is off due to stress. In that case, an email from a 5 year saying "get well soon" is hugely different to an email from the head!

But to see the lovely emails you need to also navigate ones from the head. And if you’re off work with stress related illness, your SLT are being negligent if they don’t instruct you to not open work emails. One of the reasons people end up off with stress is because they can’t leave their work alone, sick leave is protected time for recovery - I’ve disciplined staff for continuing to work when signed off with stress, it’s not good practice.

Original poster
Year1Mum · 03/12/2020 16:39

Thank you everyone. I’ll get DS to make her a card for when she returns instead. I’ve been off work for mental health reasons before and I remember how hard it was and feeling like I was alone, so wanted to let her know that she’s not. Completely see how it could make her feel though

OP posts:
saraclara · 03/12/2020 16:51

I think that's a great idea. Her first day back is probably when she'll most appreciate a kind gesture.

Wheresmykimchi · 03/12/2020 17:53

Absolutely not.

And the teacher needs to drop her friend.

For someone off with stress who is already probably feeling guilt about being off , your email will make her feel worse.

Wheresmykimchi · 03/12/2020 17:55

@Wishihadanalgorithm

I’m a teacher and I would hate this. At best it sounds like emotional blackmail to return as the kids need her. At worse, you sound prying.

I don’t really understand why you think someone who is off sick should be reading her work emails. Your sentiment might be lovely but I say leave alone. Your child and you have a professional relationship with this teacher, you are not friends.

This
musicalfrog · 03/12/2020 19:06

@Wheresmykimchi maybe read the OP's updates before you go off on one 😂

Wheresmykimchi · 03/12/2020 19:45

[quote musicalfrog]@Wheresmykimchi maybe read the OP's updates before you go off on one 😂[/quote]
I'm not off on one.

And I'm not sure what in the update makes what I said unreasonable?

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