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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish I’d never offered to sort the class teacher gift?

153 replies

Lilmzsnowflake · 02/12/2020 17:09

Even before I offered I told myself it was madness.
Then I thought, what’s so hard about collecting money and buying an Amazon voucher and a card to sign? Easy.

No. No it is not. There were the usual complaints about how we should shop local. What interests the teacher has that could be used. Which MLM mums are in the class group and we could support them too.
I said from the start that if Amazon vouchers were ok I would do it, but I’m not traipsing around shops. So far I’ve not responded to any of these suggestions and no one else is offering to take on the job.
I wouldn’t dream of buying clothes or toiletries for someone without knowing their size or preference. Books are great but for someone who reads a lot, chances are they have either read it or have specific genres they like. Food can be a minefield with allergies, diets, preferences.
The teacher in question is lovely and her neighbour, who I am friends with, has said she often takes in Amazon boxes for her. Vouchers seems like a good, if impersonal choice.
AIBU to think I should have just kept quiet?

Please tell me your class gift horror stories to make me feel better! I have another 4 years with dc at the school so I really don’t want to fall out with anyone.

OP posts:
JMG1234 · 03/12/2020 07:39

We were collecting for an early years teacher who was retiring. A couple of the parents wanted to spend £100 of the collection money on rabbits from the Sylvanian family collection as her group was notionally called rabbits at school.

The mental image of her look on her face if we'd given her a set of felty little toys costing £100 still makes me feel uncomfortable. After a longer debate than you'd expect, the idea was eventually dropped.

Saoirse7 · 03/12/2020 07:42

[quote giggly]@Saoirse7 as I said doing their job and if that is spending their days nurturingHmm or teaching my dc then thats what I would expect.
The teacher up thread who regifted her M&S gifts says it all really.
I get that it’s a nice thing to do but I do wonder if schools were to take accountability like ours has and made the decision of no more presents how many parents would be grateful for that extra £5/10 in their own purse and don’t be giving me the everyone can afford a fiver Wink
And just for the record no ward/ community staff would be allowed to accept anything over £5/ tin of biscuits etc.
Come on teachers stand up for the parents and buy yourself amazon/JL/ M&S vouchers save the minimum wage families from feeling obligated by the mummy mafia.[/quote]
Don't gift then. I don't see your issue.

Teachers aren't sending out gift lists asking for gifts. No one is obliged to gift. Anyone gifting a teacher and are going beyond their means to do so shouldn't be. Of course this is the teacher's fault. Hmm

tilder · 03/12/2020 07:47

@Passmeabottlemrjones

Yes, defo get her vouchers!

I say that as a teacher who always loved vouchers, but is now in class WhatsApps where people think that vouchers are 'too impersonal' and end up getting the teacher 'special' tat with everyone in the class's name on in to remember them by.

No teacher wants a picture of a tree with each name as an apple, or a special plaque with the everyone's name on it, or a picture of the class. We want John Lewis vouchers goddammit!

My mum had loads of those. Wtf are you meant to do with them?

Agree vouchers. With a small gift to go with them. Probably wine or chocolate.

MeowMeowLikeACow · 03/12/2020 07:53

I've got a reception child and our WhatsApp group is full of plans for the Christmas gift. Everyone has chipped in money and people did suggest vouchers but got shouted down by the people who want to do something more "personal" for someone they know nothing about. So the teacher is getting a goodie bag of various goods: candles, hand cream, chocolate etc. Sounds lovely but we know nothing about this lady. She could have skin allergies, hate candles, etc.

Thankfully in my oldest child's group they are a bit wiser and far less enthusiastic and just getting a voucher. Grin

Ellmau · 03/12/2020 07:54

John Lewis does have an online offering so it is still an option.

YuletidePizza · 03/12/2020 07:54

John Lewis or M&S vouchers can be used online as well as in store. Amazon dodges tax and has very dubious ethics, it is hardly in the Christmas spirit to spend money on a voucher there

winechateauxjoy · 03/12/2020 07:59

Retired teacher here - I would have been thrilled to get an Amazon gift card - though I was secondary so rarely got Christmas gifts. Best ones were big boxes of biscuits for the staff room - but this year that can't happen as our staff rooms are all off limits :(

FiddlefigOnTheRoof · 03/12/2020 08:03

No one has any say apart from the rep. If they have a view, they can be rep next year.

Kokosrieksts · 03/12/2020 08:45

Amazon voucher is a good gift for a teacher. As some had said, carry on with your plans and if there is someone actively disagreeing offer them to take over.

sixthtimelucky · 03/12/2020 08:52

Just get the voucher and ignore the nonsense

Purpletomato · 03/12/2020 09:50

Amazon, you know she uses it so it's a clear winner. Never MLMs.

TheDowagerDuchess · 03/12/2020 09:55

You have to just be firm. Love2shop voucher or similar - in my view that’s better than Amazon. In these covid times you should be emailing the voucher to the teacher. That is what we’re doing if I’m sorting it. End of.

Set up a PayPal account for money to keep it separate. Never take cash even outside corona as it gets lost or muddled.

Do an e card with pictures or videos of the children, or someone else who is tech savvy do this.

Sorted.

TheDowagerDuchess · 03/12/2020 09:55

(But Amazon fine if you want to do this.)

TheDowagerDuchess · 03/12/2020 09:56

I agree also that no teacher wants a pile of tat

ConcernedAboutWarrington · 03/12/2020 10:09

We are very lucky.

Same mum does it for my two DC's classes.

"I'm doing a collection this year if anyone wants to put in. I'll get personalised Christmas decorations for teacher / TA,, a bespoke card each and gin / vouchers with the rest. If you want to put in please transfer £5 to me."

She is a bloody legend.

HappydaysArehere · 03/12/2020 10:28

Amazon vouchers. The world is her oyster.
However, always a bit sad as a retired primary school teacher to hear of these collections. I used to love and value all the little gifts I received at school, some home made, items like ornaments, sweets galore etc. Loved them all.

OfTheNight · 03/12/2020 10:33

I’m going to sound like a right moaner but instead of a gift from my learners, I’d rather a contribution to the school. One year my form raised £26 as my Christmas gift and I was able to buy some fab revision guides that were beyond our departmental budget. That was 7 years ago and I know the guides are still used by my colleagues who still work at the school.

A token is lovely, but I do get paid to do my job.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 03/12/2020 10:34

You need a thick skin. I've always said what I'm collecting for i.e. vouchers, suggested amount (as people always ask if you don't give one) and deadline. I dont chase people. Those who have contributed by the closing date are in, others are out. I usually accept cash, paypal or bank transfer which covers all bases. I sign the card from all the children who have contributed and wrap myself. There will always be someone who will ask why you haven't done it differently. Offer to pass the baton to them next time, they will not take you up on it though. In my experience teachers love vouchers.

iano · 03/12/2020 10:41

God op I hear you. Mine want me to sort a hamper!
The relevant teacher is vegan and has allergies. They sure as hell don't want a hamper

crochetmonkey74 · 03/12/2020 10:43

Teacher here- YES YES YES to the voucher

Icecreamsoda99 · 03/12/2020 10:49

The only acceptable vouchers are John Lewis

JL is so overpriced , a Love to Shop voucher is much better as can be spent at so many stores but Amazon is also good! I speak from experience of receiving class gifts!

CeeceeBloomingdale · 03/12/2020 10:56

To add Amazon has the Amazon Handmade section now so you can spend a voucher and support small businesses without the risk of buying a voucher from someone who could go bust. Amazon vouchers are valid forever. I used to get INTU shopping centre vouchers but they no longer operate the centres so Amazon would be my new go to.

Agree that in the north John Lewis is not that useful. Nor is Booths as also suggested unless you live in the north WEST

Cocomarine · 03/12/2020 11:08

@SenoraSurf and this is vouchers are better! I’ve just googled those rulers. Actually think they’re gorgeous for a family home. But as a school present? Awful!

First and foremost, it’s not for the teacher.
I also think £150 is a lot of money to waste on a height chart. And bless you, re the blackboard... my daughter only knows what they are from stories - it’s interactive white boards all the way now! It would just be clutter. A 2m wooden ruler that could be knocked over or deliberately wielded - no thanks! And in our classroom, it couldn’t be fixed to a wall for height measuring. One wall has sink units, another the windows, a third has pegs and a wardrobe, the fourth has the whiteboard but also plastic trunking fixed at mid height all the way along, carrying the cables. I honestly don’t think there is a single section of wall where it could be affixed.

Vouchers, all the way!!

lyralalala · 03/12/2020 11:47

@iano

God op I hear you. Mine want me to sort a hamper! The relevant teacher is vegan and has allergies. They sure as hell don't want a hamper
Use Covid. Voucher is safer.
everybodysang · 03/12/2020 11:52

@liveitwell

Amazon voucher isn't ideal. It's just feeding the rich.

Why not a Waterstones voucher?

Waterstones is owned by a huge capital investment firm. It's not some local bookstore.

I hate Amazon's tax dodging but it IS a good present for someone you don't know well. It needs to be something you can use easily or a voucher becomes a bit of a millstone where you have to start thinking about locations of shops/P&P on websites etc.