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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish I’d never offered to sort the class teacher gift?

153 replies

Lilmzsnowflake · 02/12/2020 17:09

Even before I offered I told myself it was madness.
Then I thought, what’s so hard about collecting money and buying an Amazon voucher and a card to sign? Easy.

No. No it is not. There were the usual complaints about how we should shop local. What interests the teacher has that could be used. Which MLM mums are in the class group and we could support them too.
I said from the start that if Amazon vouchers were ok I would do it, but I’m not traipsing around shops. So far I’ve not responded to any of these suggestions and no one else is offering to take on the job.
I wouldn’t dream of buying clothes or toiletries for someone without knowing their size or preference. Books are great but for someone who reads a lot, chances are they have either read it or have specific genres they like. Food can be a minefield with allergies, diets, preferences.
The teacher in question is lovely and her neighbour, who I am friends with, has said she often takes in Amazon boxes for her. Vouchers seems like a good, if impersonal choice.
AIBU to think I should have just kept quiet?

Please tell me your class gift horror stories to make me feel better! I have another 4 years with dc at the school so I really don’t want to fall out with anyone.

OP posts:
DianeChambers · 02/12/2020 19:24

Definitely no mlm.

InDireStraits · 02/12/2020 19:28

What do people think about just giving the cash? I feel uncomfortable with this (am I old fashioned?!) but there’s someone pushing hard for our class gift to be given as just money this year. Vouchers seem more appropriate somehow

LadyFlumpalot · 02/12/2020 19:32

Never give people lots of choice.

Pick two options. Tell people those options. Give them a deadline to respond by and go with the majority choice at that deadline. If nobody has responded you go with whichever option is easiest for you.

Amazon voucher seems fine to me, she is then free to buy what she wants.

Bubblesgun · 02/12/2020 19:32

YANBU to be annoyed especially since you have offered and no one else has.

But, YABU to give an amazon voucher. Every single teacher I know (and that is a lot) eant ‘&S or John Lewis vouchers

Bubblesgun · 02/12/2020 19:33

Sorry *M&S or John Lewis

KitKat1985 · 02/12/2020 19:34

Amazon vouchers sound fine to me. At least she an buy whatever she wants with them, and no worries about size, allergies, or things being shut due to lockdowns.

Personally I don't bother ever getting involved in class collections for the teacher precisely to avoid this crap. I just buy something from us instead.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 02/12/2020 19:37

@Bubblesgun

YANBU to be annoyed especially since you have offered and no one else has.

But, YABU to give an amazon voucher. Every single teacher I know (and that is a lot) eant ‘&S or John Lewis vouchers

You asked all of them?
NerrSnerr · 02/12/2020 19:38

@WillSantaBeComingToTown

You wanted to be the tiger mum

Amazon is a crap gift. Carp from a local store is an awful gift. The only acceptable vouchers are John Lewis- if you are at a school that collects for a joint gift that is the basic knowledge required to set your self up as queen bee

The only acceptable vouchers are John Lewis in your opinion. Many people would love an Amazon Voucher and the OP already knows she uses Amazon.
LasagneLady · 02/12/2020 19:38

Don't go round collecting the money, ask them to bank transfer it.

Lulu1919 · 02/12/2020 19:58

I'm a teacher
Amazon voucher attached to some posh chocs or bubble bath would be much appreciated

CoronaIsWatching · 02/12/2020 20:01

I give my teacher Molton Brown or Fortnums vouchers

redferrari · 02/12/2020 20:03

When it was my turn to organise gifts I picked M&S vouchers as it was the closest shop near to my work place and if anyone suggested anything else I'd ask them to pick up (back in non covid times we used to also pick up flowers etc) and everyone stopped suggesting. We did amazon vouchers once and they were well received.

SionnachRua · 02/12/2020 20:07

@Bubblesgun

YANBU to be annoyed especially since you have offered and no one else has.

But, YABU to give an amazon voucher. Every single teacher I know (and that is a lot) eant ‘&S or John Lewis vouchers

Here's a teacher you don't know saying she definitely doesn't want M&S or John Lewis vouchers! Amazon, the local shopping centre or One4All are usually what I'm given.
lyralalala · 02/12/2020 20:07

Does no-one else just ask the teacher where they'd like the voucher for? Maybe I'm odd, but I've always said to the teacher that we're getting a voucher so where would they like it for

We do half the money on something for the class that the teacher would end up buying out her own pocket and half as a voucher.

DD's teacher is more excited about the box of glue sticks than she is the M&S voucher. DS's is getting an amazon voucher and some scissors.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 02/12/2020 20:12

DD's teacher is more excited about the box of glue sticks than she is the M&S voucher. DS's is getting an amazon voucher and some scissors.

Glue sticks? Swoons

WillSantaBeComingToTown · 02/12/2020 20:21

An amazon voucher is going to go on loo roll or similar

A John Lewis Voucher (useable at Waitrose) allows for a luxury purchase.

MBM18 · 02/12/2020 20:22

Set up a Money Pool on PayPal, much easier. Once everyone's donated to it you can transfer the money to your bank and buy the voucher. Or pay by PayPal.

www.paypal.com/uk/webapps/mpp/money-pools

Love2shop vouchers are always a good idea, plenty of shops accept them.

NerrSnerr · 02/12/2020 20:25

@WillSantaBeComingToTown

An amazon voucher is going to go on loo roll or similar

A John Lewis Voucher (useable at Waitrose) allows for a luxury purchase.

Or the Amazon voucher goes towards something they really want that they can't get from John Lewis or Waitrose and a JL voucher would go on loo roll and milk from Waitrose?

How do you know how this individual teacher would spend the voucher?

milienhaus · 02/12/2020 20:27

If you know she likes reading but don’t know what she hasn’t read then how about Waterstones vouchers? Can appreciate some people might prefer not to give money to be spent on Amazon this year - public opinion starting to turn on them.

Saz12 · 02/12/2020 20:37

“I’m buying Ms Teacher amazon vouchers. If you want to chip in, transfer the money to acc 1234 sort code 6789 and message me. I’ll then buy on behalf of a bunch of people. No worries if you decide you’d prefer do your own thing!”

Job done.

Don’t get sucked into a debate on who wants to get what, present it as “I’m doing this you can join or not”. If someone else wants to organise a different collection, then be enthusiastic about them doing that.

unmarkedbythat · 02/12/2020 20:39

I'd prefer Amazon to John Lewis or Waitrose, both of which are overpriced and over hyped.

rookiemere · 02/12/2020 20:42

Just go with your gut - Amazon vouchers can be spent on most things and are much less restrictive than a voucher for a specific place.

We're having a right old hoo ha at work. Boss wanted to send out something to thank people. I suggested Amazon or Just eat vouchers ( not a huge amount ). Someone else suggested cakes so now we're doing both and the time taken to collect people's addresses and discuss this has been ridiculous and has totally tainted any good thoughts from the gift.

As for getting her a MLM gift - that's so far across the line it makes me a bit annoyed. I've heard of one class collection at our school going towards a voucher for a restaurant that a parent owned. Other DPs were promised that teacher would get special treatment, free champagne etc. - didn't materialise.

I'm quite brutal with work collections now - I set a date and I buy something I think recipient will like along with a voucher. If people don't like it they are free to do their own thing. Some people are great - put the money in and let me know the message- others are a pain , put money in late , quibble about what has been bought.

lyralalala · 02/12/2020 20:47

As for getting her a MLM gift - that's so far across the line it makes me a bit annoyed. I've heard of one class collection at our school going towards a voucher for a restaurant that a parent owned. Other DPs were promised that teacher would get special treatment, free champagne etc. - didn't materialise.

The Head at the school mine goes to strongly discourages gifts being bought from parents' businesses as it can cause problems. Either if there's a problem with the gift or if there's any perceived unfairness (for example at one point I had 4 kids in the school and ended up doing the class collections for them all - would have been really unfair if my business or a parent I liked benefitted from that, but another parent I don't like didn't).

Mcnotty · 02/12/2020 20:53

Unless your foreseeing donations in the 'hundreds' category, stay clear of John Lewis, Amazon vouchers will go much further.

Namechangeforthis111 · 02/12/2020 21:03

Intrigued, what is a mlm mum?

Keep it simple, amazon vouchers all the way. Anywhere else is liable to go bust at any time.

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