To think it's unfair my child is in a disruptive class

[FallenLeavesAreFalling]

Not strictly an AIBU but looking for experience.

DS goes to a well regarded local school with excellent academic results. Everyone we know goes there. Most seem happy. He's in Year 1.

The school appears to be well run and the HT is nice.

However it is becoming increasingly apparent his class are the 'naughty ones'. There are definitely a few children with additional needs in his class whom seem to be supported by the TA. This is fine and I appreciate that in a class of 30 this is likely to be the case anywhere.

However the rest of the class appear to be wild! They are continually all kept in at playtime, all told off for being badly behaved. Their teacher at pick up and drop off looks exasperated and doesn't seem very in control of things. Some boys in the class have been saying very unsavoury things to my DS who has been repeating them at home. They girls are very loud and quite pushy with each other and the boys. It's all very 'in your face'. DS says the teacher is always busy telling people off. Having seen the children at parties last year I can definitely confirm they are particularly rowdy and some of the children are downright rude.

Last year was a bit better as I think he had a better teacher, but obviously he was only there half the year!!!

My DS is a good boy and we've never had any issues with his behaviour but he is getting increasingly frustrated at school with all the tellings off, whole class punishments and disruptive behaviour.

Is there anything I can do other than move him?? I could move him but not sure where would have a space and surely he could just join another disruptive class?? The thought of him being stuck in this group until he's 11 is depressing. But I guess that's just school?

If the school is massive as you say, then (hopefully) they will remix the classes every year to try to get the best combination of kids in each class.
But I used to teach in a single form intake school and we had one class that went through that was the worst class I have ever taught - or any of us in that school have ever taught, right from Reception to Y6. It wasn't high level criminal or vicious stuff, but just constant poor behaviour.

When you unpicked it, there were probably a third of the children with major problems that affected their behaviour, making it really difficult to split them up around the classroom and meant as a teacher you were almost constantly fire fighting low-level disruption and preventing bigger blow-ups.

Probably another third would take a mile if given an inch so would join in any brouhaha - then be appalled at themselves when told off.

We each had to do a year with them. I still remember, 30 years on, the feelings of dread and exhaustion from the daily battles.

But to be a child in that class must have been much worse. 7 years of adults basically nagging, of you not being able to work to your best ability because of others talking or messing about, of fewer spontaneous nice things happening because everything led to so much effort and potentially trouble.

The class that followed them through the school is still remembered by all the staff who worked there as the best class any of us ever taught. Similar broad range of abilites and SEN, probably a few who in another class would have been difficult, but they just got on with each other and had a willingness to work and be interested and excited by life which meant they were a joy to be with. I taught them things I have never taught a class of their age because there was time and space in the day and they were keen snd fascinated. How different the experience of a child in that class over their primary school education to one in the other class.

Speak to the Head. DS had a very bad year in year 3 - with a very disruptive class and ineffectual teacher. After speaking to the Head his class had a teacher brought down from year 6 to teach them in year 4; he was strict, set clear boundaries and encouraged them to grow up. In year 5, they then (unusually) mixed the classes up so that certain individuals were split up. This also made a world of difference.

@Scarby9 if it wasn’t more recent I would think you were describing DS’s Primary School and his class

Definitely worth a chat to the teacher to get both sides of the story. DP is a teacher and currently has a generally distributive class. He had a parent come to them because their DC was upset about very similar things to your DC OP. He had to gently break it to them that their DC was one of the more disruptive children in the class, and the last missed break was partly because she was shouting across the room after several whole class warnings. Not saying this is definitely the situation here, but it’s always worth checking.

@ineedaholidaynow Sadly, am I correct in assuming you mean the difficult class rather than the best?

My son had a very disruptive girl in his class - the school were very firm on sending her home if they needed to, it was actually pretty regular. So they need a good behaviour policy. They also mixed the classes up, so you could work about this year and then next year the class mix is all different. Kids change (a bit) but more so depending on the teacher. My son's teacher last year was lovely but so, so naive. The kids Raj rings round her. This year they have a new teacher and the class is much calmer. Moving schools isn't a good idea, could be even worse, plus not great for the kids.

It's tough times at the moment, including emotionally for kids - your child is going to have to get used to being around a range of kids and build up resilience. Its also always possible that at times our kid will be that kid. Even if an off day. My son is a nightmare in T6 because he gets so bored when the teaching drops off. A bit of compassion and resilience is a good thing, but so is a decent behaviour policy.

Yes unfortunately @Scarby9. I was very jealous of the year below him. I was always amazed when I helped in the younger class how quiet they were when the teacher was talking and that no-one was crying

It's been mentioned by some but I'll repeat it as it's my theory: the lockdown really affected a lot of children, especially the younger ones who would have normally been learning how to socialise/ behave in school. I'm a support worker currently in yrs 1 and 3 and the yr 1 group is (to put it politely) quite a lot of work. Yes, there's one child who should probably have 1-1 LSA but that won't happen anytime soon (might it be in place this school yr if they'd been in reception properly last year? I don't know) and put him in with several other children who are happy to be distracted/ wrestle/ whatever it can turn chaotic quickly during playtimes. Or anytime they're remotely near one another. Combine this with them all being stuck in year group bubbles and not being able to go out as often (or when they do, only in very small play areas so as to not to come close to others), and having to eat in their classrooms, it honestly feels inhumane for the little ones.

Not pointing the finger at OP but agreeing with previous posters comments.

The worse the child behaves, the more the parent seems to be deluded.
Parent called school to complain child was being punished at lunch. Parent was informed of child’s consistent poor behaviour.

We have been asked not to upset a child by speaking to them about poor behaviour as they are a " spirited child" who needs to be able to express their personality. This personality includes throwing toys, hitting children, pushing other children over and spitting at them. Parent is in complete denial.