IKIANBU, but how to get needle refusing DD to have her Jab?

[Plonque]

My DD is in Yr 8 of secondary school.

She has mentioned a few times about the HPV jab coming up at school and how she wasn't going to get it because she thinks it will hurt.
I've not entertained this at all and have said it's a tiny sting for a moment and it could save your life - you're going to have it.

Anyway, the permission letter has come today and needs to be returned immediately.
DD has point blank said she is not having it and I don't know what to do.
I don't want to set off any life long needle phobias or such, so I'm just trying to see the most successful way forward.
I don't really have any phobias so I've no idea how to handle it.

She had all of her baby jabs but has not needed any sort of injection since so this is new to her, I get that she doesn't know what to expect so refusing seems the best option.
I had said to her if she kicks up a fuss at school I will take her for it at the doctors (I actually don't know if this is possible?!)

Can you suggest any strategies?

I didn't have the cervical cancer jab as i was too scared. I regret it now as i realise if i ever get it then chemo will involve many more needles.

Its hard to see the bigger picture at that age though. Would she respond well to being accompanied by a trusted teacher she gets on with? That would have helped me buck up a bit!

@Takethewinefromtheswine

Mine tried this but I told her the nurse could literally sit on her if needed as I'd rather her be pissed off at me than dead.

Get the GP to prescribe a numbing cream like lidocane gel. You can show her videos on YouTube if babies and children getting jabs after having numbing cream. They can't feel it at all.

I have a huge phobia of needles so had it done at my doctors instead of school.

Combination of ‘it’s not really a choice, it’s part of growing up’ and going to my favourite restaurant afterwards. Still fainted but I understand it had to be done.
I lay down whilst they do it, cover my face with a jumper, and stay laying down afterwards for quite a while.

Or speak to the teacher and ask the nurse to use "special numbing spray/wipe" (depends on what they use to clean the area first) so that she'll think it won't hurt as much because they used it for her?
In reality it'll just be them cleaning the area in prep for the injection.

She's still young and sometimes even showing children irrefutable evidence doesn't matter when they are scared.

Does she understand what it's for? Like, properly understand?

And does she ever have to do anything else that is uncomfortable or unpleasant but just needs doing? Because without the jab, her chances of having many unpleasant smear tests, which will be much more invasive and unpleasant, in her future are much greater.

If it were my DD, I would be sharing my own experiences of abnormal smears and the treatment for it, sympathising that she is scared, but really laying it on the line that I did not consider this optional, in the same way that eye tests, dentist appointments and medical procedures are not optional. I'd offer the numbing spray, and a massive bribe.

I would NOT let it go.

Out of interest does she have or want any piercings?

Yes, she already has her earlobes done and has been begging for either second holes or cartilage
Of course, I have pointed out the obvious.

I have been explaining the cervical cancer side to her (over dinner ) just now and she is still point blank on the issue. I will persevere.

Thank you, everyone, for replying

Sometimes I think they are more willing for people who aren't their parents!

I have thought this - or even good old fashioned peer pressure doing good for once - maybe if she's sees friends going in and not making too much fuss ...?

I will contact school to see if going first, lying down etc are options. I'm sure my dd won't be the first refuser they've come across.

Thanks again!

Is it a needle phobia or something else? What is she frightened of? The needle being painful or something else?

When i was younger i imagined the needle would have to go through my arm.
Do you have any friends who inject medication? If you do could you ask them if she can watch? See their reactions of how its no issue?

You cant physically force her. If she doesn't want it then she doesn't want it it's her body. She might change her mind seeing everyone else get it. Or it's something she can think about when she's a bit older.

I was absolutely terrified of needles when I was a child/teenager, it's most definitely a phobia and it's not as easy as just making yourself do it. I had some kind of needle therapy, essentially exposure therapy going slowly after several sessions and in the final session I injected myself with whatever vaccine it was I needed at the time. So I guess it worked. I don't know if this is something that's available now, obviously my parents arranged it at the time so not quite sure who to talk to but maybe the school would know?

I am needle phobic. Much better now as an adult (and my job involves giving people injections!!). All my school immunisations were done at the GP clinic, that might be an option? I don’t have any advice, but having been that kid and also now being a mum, I can see both sides.

If she has had her ears pierced and wants them doing again, then she clearly does not have a phobia and is just being a brat !!

@MiriamMargo

If she has had her ears pierced and wants them doing again, then she clearly does not have a phobia and is just being a brat !!

And in that case she will change her mind when she sees everyone else getting it done without a fuss.

@MiriamMargo it may still be a phobia, ear peircings tend to be done with a gun not an actual needle, and I get told that I can't be afraid of needles because I have tattoos, despite a tattoo gun being completley different to a syringe.

Given the pierced ears update, I wonder if it's less the needle and more the vaccine she is scared of? Lot of vaccine talk in the general zeitgeist at the moment, not all of it positive. Perhaps she is genuinely worried about side effects etc.

You can't force her and neither can the staff there who will administer the jab but you could give the school nurse the heads up that she is really reluctant to have the injection. The school nurse might be able to hold her hand (covid permitting??) if your daughter wants it. And she might feel differently if all her friends are going off to have it done. Especially if she's not one of the first and she can see some of the others coming out, having had it done, who quite often will say that it was a whole lot less painful than they thought.

There will likely be a number of nursing staff all doing the same thing at the same time and they do usually have a mat in case someone does faint, so they may be flexible and let her lie down??

Students not wanting it is far more frequent than you think but in 20 years I've only know one or two not to have the injection if they do have permission.

I have a severe needle phobia and am prone to having seizures when faced with an injection/blood test. I had a similar fear but ultimately thought if I became ill in the future it would mean more needles! My school allowed me to have the injection in a private room rather than in the same room as others, and having it done at my GP surgery was also an option. Still horrendous but at least the fear of being embarrassed in front of everyone was removed!

I avoided my last set of injections as a teenager just because I didn't want that 10 seconds of pain and thought I could get away with just avoiding it.

This then developed into a serious needle phobia which escalated over the next 13 years until I couldn't even speak about needles without having a panic attack.

Fortunately I somehow managed to have my bloods taken at my booking appointment when I was pregnant and it wasn't painful at all. I used EMLA cream and genuinely didn't feel a thing. I'm over my phobia now but it was genuinely debilitating for many many years.

The fear of the needle is so, so much worse than the needle itself. I was trapped by my own mind for many years just b

ecause I thought it was easier to avoid it. If you give into that little voice now it will grow and grow. Have the jab and keep that voice under control - don't let it control you.

All the girls at school will wind each other up about this. On the day they will be dramatic, screaming, crying, fake fainting, the lot.

Non of this will help your daughter do id investigate getting it done at GPS

Why is she so needle phobic? Is it a past experience or her friends at school being dramatic?

I have a very severe needle phobia. My tips would be numbing cream beforehand. That wont help the psychological side of things but can help with the pain.

Can you go with her? If I have to have an injection I need to have a loved one with me. I cant do it on my own.

Finally, ask them to use a butterfly needle if possible.

Good luck.

It is possible to go to the GP, my DS has SEN and refused his flu sniff at school and we took him to the GP. But this was after he refused and he is 8. You might want to enquire before she has the date at school. If she's more likely to refuse at school they might be able to calm her away from peers more easily.

Thanks for all of the further replies, I'll see if numbing cream is an option too.

Might also have made a little headway with DD, she is quite as point blank as she was now I've really got down to the nitty gritty of why it's so important.