Private schools dilemma - can anyone help?

[loulou3311]

I’m in a bit of a pickle and am hoping some of you wise Mumsnetters will be able to help!

I have one daughter who will be starting primary school next year. We’re hoping to move house before that happens in order to reduce our mortgage (it’s just about affordable at the moment but we don’t have much cash left over for anything else - we’ve not taken a holiday in five years for example).

The problem is, I’m so confused about schools. Where we are currently is not good on the secondary school front (the one she would go to “requires improvement” according to Ofsted) and I know it’s eight years away at the moment, but it really worries me.

There are however several private schools in the local area that are very good and offer a number of bursary places. DH and I couldn’t afford to send DD there on our salaries, but if she were to get a bursary it would be a different matter.

My question is - how difficult is it to get a bursary to a good private school in London? I’m imagining it must be extremely competitive and therefore the chances of her getting into one are very slim. But if she were to get in it would obviously be a fantastic opportunity.

So the dilemma is, do we stay in London, send her to primary school here and continue paying the very high mortgage so we can keep the (slim chance that she could get a) bursary option open, or do we move somewhere like Kent before she starts primary school, where we’d have more disposable income and therefore a better quality of life, but probably no private school option for DD?

Does anyone have any advice and what would you do in our position? I’m so confused and really want the best for my beautiful DD!

Kent has private schools - and also the option of grammar schools

Kent for sure. Same options as London re private PLUS grammar as Hostess says. We moved out of London before DS started primary. Best thing we ever did.

Your expecting private school without the fees. Seems a bit of a pipe dream. I'd move and expect to find decent public schools and a house I could afford

Stay where you are in London for 8 years. Then move to the Home Counties closer to secondary school time if they're all still poor. You'll have loads of equity to afford a nice area outside of London with good schools.

Private schooling isn't a great option imo. 1) private school tends to show kids a very exclusive (not nice imo) view of the world. 2) she'll be the poor child. At least that's how she'll feel. She will worry about fitting in, won't want to invite friends over to her house etc.

Do not count on a bursary.

They are difficult to get, and it is very trying to always be reliant on that funding. You will always be worrying about whether the policy will change, or whether your chid like suit the school. It would be awful to send her to the wrong school just because you could afford it.

I would move to Kent, or move in London. There are great state secondary schools so don't shut down that options. And like the PP says, there are grammar schools in Kent.

If she’d be eligible for a bursary you can assume she’d get into grammar. Lots of schools offer partial bursaries but full ones are fairly rare. I think you’d be better going down the grammar route in Kent than gambling it all on a bursary.

A lot of bursaries are a few hundred pounds rather than 50% off or whatever. I'd suggest for now you see how the first few years of primary go and look at moving for secondary (although a lot can happen in 8 years so you may not need to).

Don’t make plans around your DD getting a Private school bursary or scholarship. Assume she won’t and plan accordingly

Secondary school bursaries do not generally get given to those children who’s parents simply cannot afford the full fees, they’re given on the basis of being exceptionally gifted in a particular subject.
In my school their were arts, music, science or language bursaries and scholarships. These were always awarded to kids who were capable of getting the highest grades and also who could sit their GCSE/A Level at least a year earlier.
The school essentially awarded bursaries so they could have the bragging rights over that child’s talents.

These places were extremely competitive. So basically your chances are slim unless your child is a prodigy.

Move to Kent, you can all have a happier life with the extra disposable income which your child will get more out of.

Easy way to resolve your dilemma: Do not support the already outrageous social and economic inequality in the UK by sending your children to private schools. Send them to a state school.

I can’t comment about schools in Kent, but you really can’t count in getting a bursary place at a private school.

The reality is that it’s very hard to get a bursary place at a private school, particularly in London. All the decent private schools have entrance exams and it’s actually quite competitive. But it’s not as simple as your DD doing the entrance exam, getting a place, and then saying “oh, by the way, can we please have a bursary” - your child has to do really, really well, as there will be other people applying.

I know someone who got offered bursary places at a couple of very good private schools but she is not only very capable academically but had also worked really hard for about 1.5 years leading up to the exams, being tutored by her parents as well as external tutoring.

Have you checked on how valuable the bursaries or scholarships are? Sometimes there is a maximum you can get, and if you were offered 50% would you be able to afford the rest? And don't forget you will possibly need a tutor. My youngest left private school 6 years ago, and at that time we were paying £17k per year- not in London.
Also, why are you assuming there are no good private schools in any new area? Kent has a good grammar system as well.
The other comment I would make is not to worry about current school performance too much. Its eight years! We are in the catchment for what was a poor comprehensive, and it was an event if 50% of the children got 5 or more GCSEs A-C. New headmaster appointed and 3 years later people were falling over themselves to get in there, to the point where we were asked if someone could use our address to get their kids in, as we had opted for private. Similarly another school whose catchment area was a selling point for Estate Agents and reputedly was worth 20-30K on a house price years ago, has had a spectacular fall and now "requires improvement".
TBH, I would opt for a better quality of life with money left at the end of the month.

If you choose Kent don’t pick your area purely on the grammar schools. A grammar school place can never be guaranteed, make sure the high schools are also ones you’d be willing to send your DD to. Ironically because of the grammar school system the Kent private secondary schools are not necessarily academic hotbeds in the way they are in London. Just my observation but it’s the children from well off families who don’t pass the 11+ who are the most likely candidates for private secondary, unless you’re talking about the very well regarded boarding schools like Sevenoaks, Tonbridge or Benenden.

Don't forget to get into a grammar school, you still need to pass a similar test to those you need to take to get into a private school in London. Both options are very competitive. Though purely down to the number of people involved, I imagine it is harder in London.

Depending where you are in London, there may be some grammar school options too. I think you might need to wait and see what kind of aptitude your daughter has. But if you need to go down the private route outside of London, it's should be easier to get in (depending on the school you pick, of course).

Kent has some great schools including state schools. It's been said many times on these threads not to send your child to private school unless you can afford the lifestyle that goes with it - extra curricula and trips abroad.

Maximum bursary at DC's school is 50% and as a family, you need to earn under £45k as household income to be considered. On top of that, your DC needs to be academically gifted, as in scoring in the top 5-10 of students sitting the entrance exam (350 sat for DC's school last year). The pressure on those children to continue performing is huge, otherwise they run the risk of having it taken away. I'd not go down the private route unless you can afford it in your own right.

In London it's hard enough even getting a full fee paying place - there will be more than 10 kids sitting the exam for each place available!

There are loads of secondaries all over london with Good or Outstanding ratings, so why are you only considering your one area or moving out to Kent. You need to think about what your needs are - commuting time/cost, the type of area you like, your budget, etc, then find somewhere that fits that and has a decent school.

I’ve taught in two private schools, one of which was a very competitive public school, as well as in grammar schools. You have to bear in mind one key thing which is that the schools offer bursaries for a reason: to get very bright children attending their schools who wouldn’t ordinarily be able to afford to go. This helps boost their exam results and make them more attractive to the fee-paying parents. So yourself - very honestly - is ‘is my daughter genuinely super bright? Does she stand out from her peers academically? Is she great at sport / music / art?’ Because those are the only children that get the bursaries and scholarships.

*ask yourself

Bursaries are largely a pipe dream..
On Mumsnet you often see parents whose children get a place but not a bursary, and they face an awful choice. The child is disappointed, the parents guilty.. I would avoid that route at all costs.

That said, you have years to decide what to do. I would stay put and then move when she's in year 4/5 if schools haven't improved. The schools change a lot in 8 years. Some didn't even exist when mine was the same age as yours.

Bursaries are usually highly competitive and awarded for academic. musical or sporting prowess; sometimes by formal examination. Your kid is only 4, far too soon to know how she will perform at age 11. . Gambling on a future bursary to save your family budget, puts far too much pressure on the child and yourselves. Its a terrible idea. (and what happens if you have more children? )

Why not move somewhere in the catchment for excellent state secondary schools. That offers the best security for her future education.

Yup.. bursary for secondary is quite a long shot to hang your hopes on. While your daughter may indeed have musical, sporting, artistic or academic talents worthy of bursary, these talents will need supporting through primary if she is to win bursary and having more disposable income would help. Though of course, moving out of London is away from the highest paying jobs or adds commuting time and costs. It's a big juggling game.

I think bursary is about not being able to afford the fees
Scholarship is through academic ability.

Bursary will be given to people who are way way off being able to afford the fees, not just middle-class-but-not-quite-earning-enough - think free school meals.

It might be worth trying to figure out what ratio there are for academic, music, sports scholarship to the school in question. I had one when I started secondary school 20 years ago and it was 12 places which about 300 kids sat an exam for - to get up to 50% off fees depending on how well you did.

Either way, you'd need a back up.

Assume no bursary, as that is by far the most likely outcome, and make your decisions based on that.