AIBU being unable to think of a present I actually need/ want?

[7strees]

DP has asked me to pick a Christmas present, value c. £60-70. He wants to get me something to keep, not something disposable or for the house. I am really struggling. He's getting something along those lines, think fancy pen.

However I already have nice pens, tech stuff (although that doesn't really fit the brief) and I am at a loss. I did suggest jewellery but he refused as I am too fussy and won't like anything he picks.

I absolutely have to come up with something and am totally out of ideas...

I don't mean this insensitively btw, I know some people are struggling to afford anything this Christmas, we are lucky in that I am working and DP has been able to rely on business savings to keep afloat (as he isn't eligible for furlough or other payments).

What about some nice cashmere accessories or jumper?

If he's asked you to pick can you find some jewellery you like and send him details?

What do you do in your spare time? DH and I do a fair amount of sport, and there are always things we can buy each other along that theme (Sweaty Betty clothes for me, cycling accessories for him!). I also do quite a bit of walking, so good walking socks, new wellies etc are also on my list this year.

A beautiful book? A first or signed edition of a favourite? A beautiful picture, or a picture of something that is meaningful to you or both of you (somewhere you live/d, special holiday etc)?

We’re in a similar position. We both earn well and can afford everything we need and most of what we want. We’re also fairly minimal and don’t like knick knacks, trinkets and other dust collectors!

Could you chose a specific piece of jewellery and ask him for that?

We usually buy extra-nice food, which is something we enjoy but it doesn’t take up space on a long term basis.

If he is so fussy about the type of thing he wants to buy (non-disposable, not for the house, not jewellery) then tell him to bear the mental load and think of something. Either that or tell him a specific piece of jewellery you would like.

Is there actually anything left that fits his criteria? Clothing, food, drinks, tech are all consumables aren't they?

I would like something cashmere but would never dare to wear it so it feels a waste!

Art is a really nice idea but I have no idea where to start, I had a look on Etsy but it was all either cheap prints which were in budget, or originals/ limited editions which definitely were not.

I run, and definitely need new trainers but I'd rather buy those myself.

I keep coming back to jewellery but I think he's not keen, even if I specify what I want. I'm going to find something I like and keep that as a back up suggestion in case I can't think of anything else.

It's a problem we all have if we're comfortably off, so if you needed something in the £60-70 bracket you'd just go out and buy it.

I've usually gone for a "luxury" version of something utilitarian, eg I gave DH a silver plated sellotape dispenser, and I have a beautiful little enamelled and jewelled box which I tuck my rings into if I want to go out gardening and can't be bothered to take them up to the jewellery box in my bedroom.

My list, just in case it might prompt some ideas:

New trainers (though yeah, I'd need to choose myself)
Ear buds or some other good headphones, given all the zooming
cashmere scarf in a plain colour
salty licorice
15 or 18 yr old scotch
photostick thing that organsies all the photos on your computer
wooden lemon squeezy device
fast easy cookbook, but it's not out till Jan
inspirational desk diary

Would a silk pillowcase come under household item?

Have you got a favourite place? You might be able to find a print of a painting of it for example (Google place name and artist... We've found similar by doing that)

I'm single and buy my own present (like you I don;t really need anything)

I'm opting for:

Comicon tickets
Doc Marten's
a few tops
Nice bath/body stuff

my teens are buying me a velvet jacket from Zara that I like

I only do it because they actually get upset if I have nothing to open!

I have two cashmere hoodies which I love. I've had one over 6 years. So warm and comfortable but not dressed up if you know what I mean. If I am feeling a bit cold in the house during the day as heating won't be one I just put my hoodie on and am warm and cosy in no time. Even a cashmere scarf.

Last year my DH gave me money and told me why don't I go out for the day and shop for my present. Took myself off to a large city and had a great day. Bought a lovely coat (primark) a power pack which I wanted and a some lovely hair clips.

If you keep coming back to jewellery, could you find a particular brand that you love and request something from there? That way, he could still choose it, but with the confidence of knowing you love the brand.

MrsClatterbuck do you have a link at all please, they sound lush

What about a really nice perfume? Chanel no 5 is in that range. Or could you get a red letter day? Nice spa or afternoon tea or racing day?

Does it have to be one big thing? For example, could it be a few books, a top, gloves etc?

MrsClatterbuck do you have a link at all please, they sound lush

I am having a huge poster framed, it is costing in excess of £150, that is not something I would just buy myself (I could afford it but I am notoriously bad at thinking I am worth it), hence why it languished in the front room in a tube for three years.

It relates to my teenage years and is a word map of all the music played at the time, it will give me great pleasure, hence I have told DH that is my gift and to stop mithering me.

I know there are people out there who are struggling, but thankfully our years of struggling are over, never thought I would see the day sometimes, but hey whaddya know it happened eventuallllllllllllly.

Get the trainers you want - just send him a link to the exact pair and give him your size.

We buy presents for each other and give each other a few little surprises, but usually give each other links!

I'm inclined to say he should choose the gift if he's putting such specific restrictions on what you can have.

I can't think of anything which fits the criteria your DP has set, but I'll share my own wish list to see if there's anything you haven't thought of:

Dumbbells
Books or a bookstore/kindle voucher
Nice haircare
Loungewear

Oh I have this issue. We both earn well and so both just buy what we want if we want something so I'm really struggling too! Will follow this for inspiration!

I am in the same boat, so each year I ask DHto get me a limited edition of books I love. They are more expensive than the normal ones, but look beautiful.

Until last year I would get a fancy harry potter editions (harrypotter.bloomsbury.com/uk/gift-editions/) from last year I am now collecting Terry Pratchett books: (www.discworldemporium.com/21-the-discworld-collector-s-library). This are niecely presented in living room and are books that I come back to very often.

I am just a cf if it comes to buying stuff for myself, which means that they are perfect presents. I love them so much and do not feel guilty about spending money on them :D

I’m not sure my ideas are ever the sort people would go for...
For instance I love Mint Velvet scarves
And hoodies
I’d also like really soft lounge pants
Books
A hot air brush
Art materials as I’m getting into botanical drawing
Garden accessories/plants
Perfume bottle (not a bottle of perfume but those glass atomiser ones)
New wallet
New chunky trainers (not exercise ones)

I know most of those are disposable (but really - what isn’t)

Nice dressing gown
Wellies or walking boots
Fitbit
Hair dryer
Smoothie maker
Yoga mat

Surely just send links to the trainers or jewellery you want with your size and let him pick from the options.

This is what I do.

onehundredstars.co.uk/collections/gowns

Oh yes one of these dressing gowns like wot nigella wears!

I'm very grateful to be in the same fortunate position. I'd be delighted to skip the whole presents thing but sadly DH is very into surprises. He would genuinely rather have surprises even if for years he gets nothing he likes (he is always polite but I can tell) for the occasional delight of a surprise that hits the mark.

I have no space in my life for 'stuff' I have plenty of stuff and hate surprises.

Our hard fought compromise is that I give him a list of things I would have bought anyway (nice chocs, fancy shower stuff) and I get him surprises. I count my real gift to him the mental effort of looking for things. I can tell by his shoulders (they do a sort of jump) when he gets something that hits the spot.