To give up bed or not

[aijaine]

So my mother in law wants to stay round every weekend which is nice for the kids but I am now 8 months pregnant and finding it hard to sleep on the sofa while the in-laws take our bed.
Aibu to think my husband should stick up for me and tell them that I really need the bed right now.
I just assumed they wouldn't expect me to sleep on the hard sofa with sciatica and a big ass baby in my stomach.
Maybe I'm wrong and I'm being rude please let me know x

I hope this thread is a wind up! Blow up bed for granny.

This can’t be real, unless it simply reflects the attitude of people to the covid restrictions.
Overnight stays are not permitted in most of the uk. And if you are going to say it’s a support bubble , this is no support to you !

The weirdest thing on this is that you think that having your MIL round to stay every weekend is normal.

And no you shouldn't be giving up your bed at 8 months pregnant.

My sister's MIL used to come over Friday nights and stay over until brunch on Saturday, all fine. This then turned into Friday to Monday morning meaning now that my sister looks back she is like WTF? How did that happen? No weekends ever to themselves. They are now no contact due to her narcissistic personality.

Why does your MIL stay every weekend? All weekend? When do you get time for yourselves?

And are you running around after them, entertaining, cooking etc?
What is wrong with this picture?

Is this a wind up?

I'm wondering if there's culture involved?
Even (possibly especially) if there is, you must stand up now for your and your families future.
Give DH a last chance ultimatum to sort it if it seems or is culturally appropriate, (he might just have been dumb?) then do it yourself if he doesn't jump to it immediately.

I was you - there was no one to tell me my value then, or my responsibility to my children not to be raised thinking this was my place. It's harder to fix the results later.

I'm also a 'MIL' now, and would love a word in the ear of your's.

Get her one of those luxury blow up mattresses and don't budge from your bed.

I would go to the mil's house and sleep in her bed - she can deal with the kids for the weekend and her son!

@mamaoffourdc

I would go to the mil's house and sleep in her bed - she can deal with the kids for the weekend and her son!

Perfect!

I don’t know why the DH is getting all the stick here. Of course he is a grade A dickhead but the OP is not covering herself in glory either. How hard is it to hand the in-laws a few pillows, point to the couch and tell them you will see them in the morning? If DH wants to sleep on the couch, they can move over and he can hop in with them. Just use your own bed irrespective of what DH or in-laws say, if necessary just put a confused look on your face and say ‘sorry, I don’t understand. Alright I’m off to bed and will see you in the morning’ and toddle off to your own bed.

No no no NOOOOOO WAY!

OP, what would happen if you told your DH no? Why are you putting up with this, you can leave him you know. Have your own place, a bed all to yourself.

Do you have to do all the entertaining and catering all weekend?

Goodness! They are very unreasonable. I would never let someone 8 months pregnant sleep on the sofa!

Wow.

Unless you have a spare room and spare bed the answer to them staying over should be no anyway.

Why do they want to stay over so much? And will they continue that when the baby is born?? - and if so, how do you feel about that?

I'd love to have MIL here every weekend and would happily sleep on the sofa...but not when 8 months pregnant!!!

This is the man you said you wanted to leave, just over a year ago. This would seem to me to be more evidence that you need to go.

Wtf?! What sort of person kicks a pregnant woman out of her to the sofa?! Outrageous behaviour from in laws. Husband should be putting his foot down. Also if I was you I’d flatly refuse to sleep elsewhere

Get them a blow up bed and tell your husband he can have one too if he keeps being a selfish tw@

Where is your husband sleeping?

I am guessing this is a cultural thing, as PP said it is usually the norm in some cultures to make guests welcome and to be given the best room in the house bedroom wise.

These are not guests though, they are family. So should have more understanding. It's absolutely not right to have to sleep on the sofa so heavily pregnant.

You're going to have to have some discussions.

I'd get this sorted before your baby arrives.

This is insane. At 8 months pregnant I struggled to get comfortable in my bed let alone sleeping on a sofa. Absolutely ludicrous.

Your ILs and DH have lost their minds. They should come once a month at most and sleep on the couch or an airbed. No way

You have a DH problem.

And when the baby is born, are you and baby supposed to sleep on the sofa while MIL takes the bed?

First of all, my PIL would not be coming to stay every weekend! When do you have any quality time with your DH and children? When do your family / friends get to come and stay? Also what's going to happen when the baby arrives? MIL is going to be there when you want quiet time and to bond with your baby! That aside, I would not be giving up my bed on a regular basis to anyone, particularly whilst pregnant. You need to put your foot down, now!

I wouldn't give up my bed whether I was pregnant or not, unless there was a very good reason - for example if they were relatives who had travelled a long way and were unable to sleep on the sofa themselves.

Why do you have to do this every weekend? Fuck that!

@GabriellaMontez

You have a DH problem.

God I swear I see this comment on here about a million times a day. Not helpful is it.

You are absolutely not unreasonable!!