To ask if you feel you morally deserve your wealth

[Nc1028]

No judgment, genuinely interested (and bored!)

Read about the idea that people want to have money but also want to believe that they morally deserve the money. For example, those who earned their wealth are more likely to believe they deserve it because of hard work, whereas those who inherited wealth are more likely to feel guilty. Stay-at-home partners also tended to feel guilty if their partners are high earners/have inherited wealth when they haven’t earned/inherited wealth themselves. Everyone try to emphasise on their productiveness, not wanting to be cast as “rich and lazy”.

Wondering what people think?
If you have money, do you think you deserve what you have?
Do you think people who have a lot more money deserve what they have?

(Light hearted. Yes your money is none of anyone’s business but money is such a taboo topic, fun to talk about)

[Isthatitnow]

I work hard but my relatively wealthy situation is down to my deceased parent’s hard work. A divorce has caused me no end of issues financially and my pension is small so what I have is invested for when I really need it, however. I would rather have my mum back.

[TrialOfStyle]

Just to add, I don’t think anyone morally deserves wealth. Wealth has nothing to do with morality. All humans deserve basics - shelter, food, water, a meaningful existence, etc.

So I think it’s fine to feel grateful that you are financially stable, happy even. But deserving? No.

[Happyheartlovelife]

I grew up poor. For 2 years our neighbour fed us as my mother tried so hard to find a job. We ended up being homeless. Where my mother didn’t eat so I could

We are in the top 2% apparently for earning. I thank my lucky stars each and every single day. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t feel just amazed at how our life turned out. I am also very happy in life. I have a wonderful husband. I think I’ve got fab kids. I don’t feel I could get much luckier.

I don’t feel that I deserve it. We work just as hard as some people on min wage. We were just lucky that the jobs we went into were so niche that they were well paid. So I’ve been on both sides of the coin. I remember when we didn’t have electricity. Heating. Hot water. A car a tv. We didn’t have food.

I’ve also taken a few private jet flights with my work. Yes it takes away a worry that you have. But intrinsically it doesn’t change. I’ve always felt so lucky. Lucky in all sorts of ways. Lucky that I had 2 parents who loved me. Then they got divorced and I felt lucky it had been so amicable. Then we lost everything but I felt lucky that I had my health

Do I deserve it? I volunteer with the homeless. Some of those men are the kindest. Warmest people who would give you their last penny. But no. I don’t feel that I deserve it anymore than I felt I deserved the bad side that happened to us.

I feel I’m slightly better morally than some people. But money doesn’t equate to that. Money just takes one worry away. That’s all.

[doadeer]

I don't consider myself wealthy, but when I was 27 I started my own business and at 28 I made £130k a year (pre tax). I absolutely didn't deserve it in a moral sense, I wasn't saving lives. I work in a cash rich industry and I was good at my job.

It's a fundamental travesty that people in caring professions are paid so little compared to roles like mine...

I can't change that but I do give a huge amount to charity and we support many family members in need aswell as offering my time free to small businesses who need it.

[pointythings]

It depends. I inherited a lot of money from my late husband - mortgage free house, savings and 2 big lots of life insurance. Not enough to stop working (wouldn't want to) but enough for me to support DDs through uni and give them each a decent house deposit. Do I deserve it? Given the hell he put us through with his alcohol addiction, absolutely I do.

I also inherited about £130k from my mum. Do I deserve that? I'm neutral on that one. I know she would be happy Dsis and I inherited rather than it all going on care home fees, and I spent a chunk of it on doing up the garden because she loved gardening. So I'm at peace with that one.

[DillonPanthersTexas]

I have been a high earner for most of my career but that was largely down to me being willing to work offshore or in some pretty tough / dangerous locations. I feel I have earned it.

[MsSquiz]

Do I feel like I deserve the wealth I now have? No, I married into it.
I still consider any money that DH brought into the relationship as "his". It is his money and will become our DD's money.

I am lucky that I fell in love with and married someone in his financial position, as it allows us to live mortgage free, enjoy nice holidays, me to be a stay at home mum for as long as I choose. It allows us more options when making life decisions.

But I grew up in a council flat with a single mum, so I count myself extremely lucky to being in this position, but I don't "deserve" it, I didn't earn it or work for it

[Pumpkinstace]

I'm poor.

Do I morally deserve it? Unsure. I definitely wasted my potential.

I am also autistic with adhd. I wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult.

I'm going to go with no.

I don't deserve it, it's just the way the cookie crumbled.

[thecatsthecats]

I'm well off.

It's unpopular to say, but I have an above average level of intelligence that is well rewarded.

I also work hard. I used to work sixty hour weeks plus extensive travel. This was to deliver a project that no one else has successfully achieved in the UK despite numerous attempts. Even at the lowest paid entry role on the company, I cracked on and both worked more efficiently and for longer hours.

Lastly, I have leadership skills, another area that's highly rewarded. I have the tendency to find a good balance between attention to detail and finding broad approaches to make decisions. I can persuade people to follow my plans, and am comfortable making decisions that other members of staff back away from.

I don't think any of those things have a moral judgement to them. I'm an intelligent person who happens to be better at making plans and executing them than other people, and thus can command a good salary. The trouble I find is that some people can have a "so you think you're better than me" attitude about that.

Well, at the things I've listed, I think I AM better than most people. That doesn't make me a better overall person. But probably easily in the top quarter globally on those particular skills, resulting in a commensurate salary for how those skills are valued.

[JayAlfredPrufrock]

And so modest.

[HerFlowersToLove]

DH and I each inherited a house due to the death of all four parents and a sibling. I don't think about whether we deserve it, but do think we've been very unfortunate in terms of bereavements.

[dewisant2020]

I've never really thought about it, I can't say I deserve my salary because I work hard as I know lots of people who work very hard and only earn a crust.
I suppose I'm lucky I've had the opportunities open to me to allow me to earn a high wage.
I have gone without over the years to make sure I pay my mortgage off early, have a decent amount of savings and saved hard for my pension.
I think it all falls down to the luck of the draw in my situation I have always been in the right place at the right time and took some big risks to get to where I am now

[Onedropbeat]

I can only feel grateful compared to some as I have enough to get by (just) and others don’t.

I don’t feel guilty or deserving as such.
I mostly worked hard for it. Some of it I haven’t

[MyGazeboisLeaking]

@thecatsthecats

I'm well off.

It's unpopular to say, but I have an above average level of intelligence that is well rewarded.

I also work hard. I used to work sixty hour weeks plus extensive travel. This was to deliver a project that no one else has successfully achieved in the UK despite numerous attempts. Even at the lowest paid entry role on the company, I cracked on and both worked more efficiently and for longer hours.

Lastly, I have leadership skills, another area that's highly rewarded. I have the tendency to find a good balance between attention to detail and finding broad approaches to make decisions. I can persuade people to follow my plans, and am comfortable making decisions that other members of staff back away from.

I don't think any of those things have a moral judgement to them. I'm an intelligent person who happens to be better at making plans and executing them than other people, and thus can command a good salary. The trouble I find is that some people can have a "so you think you're better than me" attitude about that.

Well, at the things I've listed, I think I AM better than most people. That doesn't make me a better overall person. But probably easily in the top quarter globally on those particular skills, resulting in a commensurate salary for how those skills are valued.

I think your post is quite matter of fact, actually, @thecatsthecats.

You have an aptitude and you've used it.

[ToastCosILoveIt]

@Ilovesugar

Middle earner, nothing special but I do feel very fortunate to have had the opportunities I have to allow me to have the job I do / education to get here. I don’t feel guilty but I am aware not everyone has it as good.

Not bragging I haven’t actually told anyone, I was in Asda and the persons card next to me got declined. I paid for their shopping (£28) and they cried. For me that’s not a massive amount of money (I can’t do that every week) but it obviously meant so much to them.

That is a lovely thing to do.

[Someone1987]

My mum and grandparents died when I was a teenager and my sisters and I were given money from inheritance and life insurance.
It enabled us all to buy a house with no mortgage.
Do I feel I deserve it? No.
I often feel very guilty and empty inside. What's a house with little family?
However, I know how fortunate I am not to have money worries and I do work, as I think my self worth would be even lower if I hadn't earnt anything I've got.

[Catchytune]

My DH was pretty well paid with lots of perks. He’s recently got a job as a delivery driver until his original profession resumes.
He is absolutely now sees the difference between “ working your arse off” and getting paid well for it and working your arse off on NMW. Guess which one feels like work?
Weirdly he feels like he deserves more but doesn’t feel the job should pay more - just that he should leave because it’s too difficult.
I wonder if it paid £500 a day if he would feel it more do able?

[Chocowally]

I’m comfortable rather than wealthy and I think it’s fairly immoral that I am via the route I’ve arrived here - as an accountant. UK society definitely overvalues many professions including mine.

I’d love to see more value placed against roles that contribute more to society from a moral stance - caring professions, STEM..

[speakout]

Odd question OP.

Are you suggesting that people who are moral deserve to be rich?

Often the opposite is true- look at Donald Trump.

[speakout]

OP by your determination then carers and nurses should be super wealthy.

[Poppingnostopping]

Morally, I don't think I'm better than most- if I 'deserve' my wealth of living in a nice house in the UK, then perhaps people living in a refugee camp 'deserve' their lack of wealth, and I don't agree with that at all.

I hit lucky in multiple ways, I had a stable upbringing, lots of love, middle-class parents, highly nurtured, lots of approval, intelligent, offered lots of opportunities as a result.

Most of my friends ran with what they had, some were born 'luckier' than others, but we all see it's a combination of luck and opportunity and I'm not sure morality comes into it. A couple of my friends do jobs which are morally dubious as in are controversial industries. I'm in academia, which sounds morally worthy but has its morally unworthy sides, especially since it's been reconstructed as a business and isn't transparent about what it charges and why.

[Fuckingcrustybread]

I'm very wealthy but morally I don't think that I deserve to be. My husband started his company he put all the hours in and built it up. I was the one behind the scenes. He says he couldn't have done it without me. He sold the company for a life changing amount of money, it's all in both our names. There are no restrictions on what I spend or what I spend money on. But I still feel that it's his money. He says it's ours but I don't feel that.

[Chewbecca]

Morally? No, definitely not.

Hard work + good (state) education + good fortune / good choices to work in a high paying field in a high paying city.

[toconclude]

No. Most of it is inheritance and my parents happened to live in Surrey. DH on the other hand has worked like a dog for his and saved carefully,, so he dserves his.

[ButtWormHole]

I have money. Wealth even.

I feel guilty every single day. I earned it all myself after a hard start in life (abuse, homelessness and more) but every day I do not feel worthy.