MN obsessions

[RoughWinds]

Why is MN obsessed with fluffy socks, why not just socks?

Also see new pyjamas, posh chocolate, warm coats, good quality yet inexpensive anything.

Can we use some new adjectives.

I miss when the only thing naice was ham.

The salt police, who jump on to any food related thread saying 'That sounds like an awful lot of salt'

Fuck off!

I think the same. There are some despicably selfish dils out there and MN often encourages them
Same here.
Those threads also help explain the millions of threads where a poster is utterly devastated after their 20 week scan because she can't come to terms with the thought of having a son. It seems like people are quick to tell mums to exclude their partner's mum, limit her involvement etc but when they are having their own son then it's hugely upsetting because one day they might be in a position where their son is pushed around by his wife to put wife's family first at all times / but future son and I might not have a good bond (probably because I've accepted that he will jump to the tune of any future wife so don't invest as much because of the inevitability of him leaving me) / a son is a son until he has a wife but a daughter is yours for life. Etc. Etc. Etc.

There's some bizarre attitudes to mother and son relationships on here.

@Fuckingcrustybread

LoveFall I agree, the dastardly MIL threads can be very sad and infuriating. I love my DIL and I'm so pleased that she's in my life as my son's wife and mother to their children. She's fabulous and the most positive person I know. She did say to me once that she feels very lucky to have me as a MIL when she hears about some of her friends problems. So like everything it cuts both ways. I think of the mothers with their little families pulling up the drawbridges and keeping their in Laws out, They'll probably be singing from a different song sheet when their boys start their own little families. Good luck to them

You sound lovely, just like my late MIL. She made me feel welcome the first time I met her. We didn't always agree on things, but we had a lot of respect for each other. The first time I went to stay with her when DH was away on business, and she told me that she felt so happy that I chose to visit her because I wanted to see her as opposed to going along because DH wanted to visit made her feel valued.

Sadly, in later years her alzheimers turned her into an aggressive, bad tempered old woman, but she was so lovely to me until then.

I always get the impression from the MIL threads that some MILs feel that no-one is good enough for their precious son (SIL is like this), and that some DILs just don't want to make the effort with their MILs.

@derxa

'We live very rurally' or 'we're very rural' No you live in a very expensive house in the Cotswolds and you want us to know all about it.

See I amuse myself with the stealth rurals on the village green by imagining them more to be living in the kind of Deliverance style one horse town that Mulder and Scully had to go and sort out because of all the inbreeding. Lots of lumberjack shirts and everyone called Pammy and Dwight.

Going to a spa when your dh takes you for granted (who the fuck's got the money or inclination for a £300 weekend away every time your husband fails to put the bins out)

All the coded signifiers for middle class-ness such as crusty bread and sneeriness at hints of common-ness such as having your nails done

LTB - see spas

Mothers in law - must be seen and not heard

Sisters in law - all mad, fact

Ex wives - must all be murdered

Actually, we are quite rural, but in the depths of ex mining country in South Yorkshire. Our village was once a pit village and is not at all pretty.

'We live very rurally' or 'we're very rural'

I'm guilty of saying this (under another name)

But it's true. I'm not in the UK, the nearest property to us is just under half a km away. There are no shops/bars/garages/cashpoints unless you drive 10km to the nearest town.

We don't even get our bins collected!

I've just thought of one.

The use of because, as if that makes you very witty and clever.

E.g "they wont find a vaccine...because science" or "you shouldnt be seeing your terminally ill parent with no legs, at all, even through a glass window...because covid"

Obviously been spending too much time on that board. Thank you OP for some light relief from this thread.

You must never complain or comment on the cost of anything child-related school uniforms, school trips, clothes, phones etc because out of your MN 6 figure salary you should have saved 3 years wages, and have a fund to cover any costs incurred until your youngest child is at least 25, before even thinking about sleeping with your DH or DP, let alone procreation.
And foreseen every possibly eventuality for changes to your financial circumstances over a 20 year period including husband leaving, disability, redundancy, recessions and global pandemics.
Otherwise why have DC if you cant afford them?

@Fizbosshoes

You must never complain or comment on the cost of anything child-related school uniforms, school trips, clothes, phones etc because out of your MN 6 figure salary you should have saved 3 years wages, and have a fund to cover any costs incurred until your youngest child is at least 25, before even thinking about sleeping with your DH or DP, let alone procreation. And foreseen every possibly eventuality for changes to your financial circumstances over a 20 year period including husband leaving, disability, redundancy, recessions and global pandemics. Otherwise why have DC if you cant afford them?

You've missed out that you should never have children with DP, it's H or nothing, a DP will leave you high and dry, with £thousands in debt at the drop of a hat. Or someone else's knickers

If you’re not married, you shouldn’t have kids unless you can return to work the day after giving birth and keep working 60 hour weeks just in case your partner decides to shaft you. Which he will do, because he obviously doesn’t love you enough to marry you.

In fact, why were you stupid enough to have kids without being married? Marriage is the ONLY protection. Unless you divorce and find your joint assets aren’t worth anything, or your husband becomes self-employed and claims poverty, or you’re the higher earner. In which case, NOT getting married is the only protection. And make sure your partner is written out of your will too, just to be safe.

I take the points that PPs are making, but we do get a lot of threads from mothers who have been absolutely shafted because they weren't married. Often enough that I think it's worth people mentioning in relevant threads (eg, those along the lines of "he won't marry me but wants me to be a SAHM, he promises he'll look after me and anyway it's just a piece of paper and we're common law spouses aren't we?"). An awful lot of people don't seem to understand what marriage actually is, so I can't argue with it.

Everyone’s DH/DP is over six foot even though the average male height in UK is 5ft 9in.

I agree with the competitive friendlessness, really strange.

The one the really gets me is incredibly which I don't think I've ever heard anyone say conversationally... He was incredibly rude, the place has incredibly beautiful food

Also the 'lets call her Jane' thing really pisses me off... call her what you want, its anonymous. The story including person a, b, c, z... so fucking boring and who gives a shit by the end?
And the name changing like you get a badge of honour for quoting historic threads? I'm so important you see

@CounsellorTroi

Everyone’s DH/DP is over six foot even though the average male height in UK is 5ft 9in.

True in this house.

DH is six feet two and I am five feet two (just).

Our three DDs are not quite as tall as him, but certainly way taller than me. I am the short-arse of this family. 😎🙄

Everyone’s DH/DP is over six foot even though the average male height in UK is 5ft 9in.

My DH is 5ft 9 and a half which he often rounds up to nearly 6ft 😂

I take the points that PPs are making, but we do get a lot of threads from mothers who have been absolutely shafted because they weren't married. Often enough that I think it's worth people mentioning in relevant threads

I agree, and I agree that it is worth pointing out every time.

Everyone’s DH/DP is over six foot even though the average male height in UK is 5ft 9in.

DH is 6'2"

Mine is 6ft 2. I am 5ft 6 which is perfect for a female...I was once told.

I take the points that PPs are making, but we do get a lot of threads from mothers who have been absolutely shafted because they weren't married. Often enough that I think it's worth people mentioning in relevant threads (eg, those along the lines of "he won't marry me but wants me to be a SAHM, he promises he'll look after me and anyway it's just a piece of paper and we're common law spouses aren't we?"). An awful lot of people don't seem to understand what marriage actually is, so I can't argue with it.
I agree with you.
I don't understand the hate for pointing this out. There's nothing wrong in wanting to make sure that a fellow woman makes an informed decision on something so important.

Let's be real, plenty of men know EXACTLY what marriage entails, which is why they are more than happy to kick the issue into the long grass and love bomb and say 'but we have children together and that's a much bigger commitment than a party'

@CounsellorTroi

Everyone’s DH/DP is over six foot even though the average male height in UK is 5ft 9in.

It'll be all that bike riding. I'm obviously only pretending to be a MNer because dh doesn't ride a bike.

One thing that MN often discusses and some others might see as an obsession is that women should have safe spaces, not invaded or access determined by someone born in a man's body.

I don't call that an obsession, I call it wanting reasonable safety.

@ipushmyfingersintomyeyes

Also the 'lets call her Jane' thing really pisses me off... call her what you want, its anonymous. The story including person a, b, c, z... so fucking boring and who gives a shit by the end? And the name changing like you get a badge of honour for quoting historic threads? I'm so important you see

I find "let's call her Jane" is often a good hint that the OP will be: TL:DR Boring as fuck Made up. In Classics before you can say "it didn't really happen like that, did it now?"

@XDownwiththissortofthingX

If your sex life or proclivities extend to anything other than once-per-week missionary, at a strictly pre-arranged time slot, with the light off and three methods of contraception employed, you're a 'cool mum'.

Oh, and anyone who ever has sex outside of marriage, even once, comes home riddled with every STD known to mankind.

Cool wife, surely!?

If your sex life or proclivities extend to anything other than once-per-week missionary, at a strictly pre-arranged time slot, with the light off and three methods of contraception employed, you're a 'cool mum'.

I haven't found this. Whenever there's a BDSM related thread, a lot of MNers seem pretty knowledgeable and experienced. I have had people struggle to understand it (which I myself understand, I never really got it until I met the right person) but I haven't really experienced anything hostile in those discussions.

"Cool wife", as I've seen it, applies more to women who are ok with porn and husbands going away with female friends.