Zero Inheritance - Advice

[CunnyLingus]

I know inheritances rarely get discussed on Mumsnet so apologies if this is not something that I should be asking really.

I am not going to inherit anything. I also have nobody to leave what I have to. Charities do not bear inheritance tax. If I leave anything they will be lucky, but chances are I am going to spend the lot before I pop.

Can I ask for your 'zero inheritance advice' please on my non-predicament. I would really like to know how to be fair to nobody.

But seriously what's with all the inheritance threads?!

You're likely undervaluing your estate; all those spare pants, socks, your soap etc. These can all be gifted to people. What's useful to know is that your executor can be literally anybody as long as your solicitor knows how to find them (keep the solicitor details to gags, for whoever discovers your body). Now, I see an executor as basically a big game of the Dare part of Truth or Dare, because they are supposed to follow your instructions, however bizarre those might be. If theexecutortries to withhold bequests, or if they act against the interests of the beneficiaries, theycanbe taken to court. Make sure your solicitor is keeping an eye on them in your understabdable absence, to take action on your belated behalf if needed.

So, who do you think you should entrust your task of handing over your estate one dirty sock at a time to, while singing Nobody Likes Me (the Worm song)? I think I'd go for the obvious irritants such as Piers Morgan, Jonathan Ross or Russell Brand; it's nice to give them something to do. But who will you pick as your nobodies?

[quote Homebird8]@Anordinarymum

my display cabinet which is my ride and joy

A complete derail but what on earth are you doing with your cabinet? It’ll be worthless to your descendants if you’re rough with it.[/quote]
Well, it's one way to oil wooden furniture I suppose...

I’m usually quite calm about the inheritance threads but some of the recent ones have made me clutch my inherited fake pearls.

Please don’t leave me your display cabinet, PP. As a certified pearl clutcher I don’t hold with that sort of behaviour.

I think it's time to lay your cards on the table and have a discussion with yourself about how you feel about excluding yourself. You are right that it's not fair.

If you can’t find some children to leave it to, you need to make it clear beforehand you ar being super fair so no one gets upset. So you have to tell everyone you know that you are not going to leave them anything (except perhaps a token can of chickpeas for some people you particularly like, and maybe some lentils for a few you quite like)

No, no - solicitors will use up all your nothings for no benefit to anyone except the solicitor.

We all have something to leave behind, you just need to decide who gets the empty yoghurt pots and the soiled bedding. Think I'll leave my unwashed socks to a sil - she wouldnt fit my shoes so she can walk a mile in my socks.

I'm eternally grateful to you, OP. You have spared me the distress and embarrassment of starting my own inheritance thread here and incurring the wrath and opprobrium of an army of mumsnetters.

Is there a safe space for inheritance threads in the Money section, perhaps?

Well I , for one, am outraged at the selfish nature of your actions.
Earning what you need and spending it
on yourself to meet your own needs?

Although having said that I knew a couple who retired from m workplace. They had no kids but had adult neices and nephews. Their retirement plan was to spend every penny And keep over in Starbucks at 98, having just finished a Mocha Frappacino bought with their last penny 🤣😂

Just woke up from a lovely night's sleep to find some wonderful suggestions. This was the sort of non-help I wasn't looking for.

But it has spurred me on. I realise I cannot create a situation where two or more people are having a contraton over my estate if I do not have an estate in the first place. I need to make some money. I think it has to be more than £325,000 - is that correct? That way the taxman can join in the bunfight too.

So I have thought and thought and I know what to do. I am going to do some MLM. It stands for Multi Level Marketing. I ready about it in bed this morning with my usual glass of water from the bathroom tap.

I don't think MLM is something that people have heard off on Mumsnet so I may have to send you a link, after I have moved my car over a bit. It is parked partly over my drive and the neighbours at the moment.

You could take in ironing, OP.
Just to add to the nothingness. Also be careful now that you have revealed your intentions...eerie music...or before you know it Poirot and Miss Marple will be on the case

@CunnyLingus

Just woke up from a lovely night's sleep to find some wonderful suggestions. This was the sort of non-help I wasn't looking for.

But it has spurred me on. I realise I cannot create a situation where two or more people are having a contraton over my estate if I do not have an estate in the first place. I need to make some money. I think it has to be more than £325,000 - is that correct? That way the taxman can join in the bunfight too.

So I have thought and thought and I know what to do. I am going to do some MLM. It stands for Multi Level Marketing. I ready about it in bed this morning with my usual glass of water from the bathroom tap.

I don't think MLM is something that people have heard off on Mumsnet so I may have to send you a link, after I have moved my car over a bit. It is parked partly over my drive and the neighbours at the moment.

That made me laugh out loud!

my usual glass of water from the bathroom tap

Oh god OP - I think a little bit of sick came up in my mouth!
You drink water from the BATHROOM tap????????
How absolutely vile.

Don't worry @whopooedinthepyrex its from the outside toilet.

@CunnyLingus

Don't worry *@whopooedinthepyrex* its from the outside toilet.

How cruel and nasty you are. Up until recently, I thought I was the only person who had been mistreated by manipuative family members. Through reading threads and messaging some kind people, I now realise I am not alone.

How about starting a thread about disabled children? abusive partners?
being overweight?

Shame on you basically.

@CunnyLingus

Don't worry *@whopooedinthepyrex* its from the outside toilet.

I don't get this thread at all. So the problem is, you have nothing and nobody to leave it to. Is this a thread about a thread?

Its a thread about mocking and being nasty.

ah right. i'll give both threads a skip now.

Thank you @randomer

Its a fun thread actually @randomer
Report it if you want to. The admin team are pretty trigger happy so your lack of sense of humour will be accommodated.

I wont report it.I just dont think mocking people who are struggling is fun. Never mind .

Your conclusion is batshit bollocks.