Zero Inheritance - Advice

[CunnyLingus]

I know inheritances rarely get discussed on Mumsnet so apologies if this is not something that I should be asking really.

I am not going to inherit anything. I also have nobody to leave what I have to. Charities do not bear inheritance tax. If I leave anything they will be lucky, but chances are I am going to spend the lot before I pop.

Can I ask for your 'zero inheritance advice' please on my non-predicament. I would really like to know how to be fair to nobody.

Look, I only came here to not need or receive any advice.

I think some of you should get off your high horses. Ggrrrrrrr.

The ones you aren't on for example.

We don’t have children, so ours is all going to charity. Our nieces and nephews will inherit at least one property each from the various houses their parents own. We’re leaving it to children who need it.

Where can I get some children and some houses to leave to them?

That should do it. Hopefully they will be of uneven temperament, one house will be larger than the other and perhaps with a bit of subsidence thrown in. Inheritances should never be easy.

Ha ha, this thread is brilliant, very entertaining during my bout of insomnia tonight.

Talking of insomnia - I can understand why this non issue is keeping you awake OP. What a huge weight of responsibility you have, worrying about your huge estate and the complex needs of all your grasping relatives. Is there any way you could manage to spend it all before you go? You could easily double your weekly shopping bill by swapping from Lidl/Tesco to Waitrose or M&S. There are also special websites set up which are virtually guaranteed to make unwanted cash disappear... something to do with online gambling, I think? Good luck OP, I hope you manage to sort out this worrysome issue soon.

"Look, I only came here to not need or receive any advice."

@CunnyLingus Well, too late, you didn't want it but you clearly needed telling so got it anyway! How very dare you be so ungrateful! No wonder you were disinherited! [Flounces off thread]

I'm currently working on the 'magic bean' theory of if I died tomorrow, and to what I could leave my adult child. On the plus side they'd also get the incontinent old dog, do hey ho it's not all bad.

@Catsup

I'm currently working on the 'magic bean' theory of if I died tomorrow, and to what I could leave my adult child. On the plus side they'd also get the incontinent old dog, do hey ho it's not all bad.

My children would get my partner who can't cook, pees on the toilet seat, smokes in the house when he thinks he can get away with it, eats all the chocolate biscuits,and spills coffee everywhere when he makes a drink. They would also get all the pets including the incontinent one, and all my precious ornaments, plus my rowing machine and my display cabinet which is my ride and joy.

Happy days

How about leaving an uninheritance to the nation.

A friend of mine's dad died and left a trail of debt everywhere. His house had been repossesed by the bank and he had taken out second and third mortgages on it all unpaid. The council housed him in a nice old folks bungalow and he drove a nice car on motability. Store cards maxed out, and bank accounts all in massive arrears. This was at a time when you they sent cards through the post inviting you to join up, and he took full advantage of it. He was always really well dressed and his fridge was full of M&S food. Nobody had a clue.

that bloke with the big ears
Who ? Prince Charles?

Leave all of your non inheritance to schrödinger's cat - it's the only sensible way forward...

Can I suggest you contact a solicitor for a free half hour to have a complicated set of trusts established at a cost that far outweighs your zero inheritance expectation because it’s tax effective, then quit your job and live on the money your local tax office sends you because of your clever tax structure, and don’t forget to tell your nobodies that they should choose a great nursing home for you or they’ll get no share of your nothing?

So entitled OP. You clearly expect to have someone to leave your nothings to. Where do you get off.

Why do people expect to inherit something? Live your life and live off your own fucking money.

😳🤣 at the people who haven’t really read the OP and don’t get irony

You can leave it to me, if you'd like, I certainly won't mind having a double amount of nothing! At least I don't have to dust it.

If you have money in old age and no one to leave it to I would treat myself to the poshest old people’s home and eat caviar for breakfast and oysters for lunch.

A word of warning....once the nobodies realise they are getting all your nothings, they'll be circling like vultures.

@Anordinarymum

my display cabinet which is my ride and joy

A complete derail but what on earth are you doing with your cabinet? It’ll be worthless to your descendants if you’re rough with it.

Great thread OP. With the mass amount of inheritance threads this week I've really been wondering how to split my rented house and zero savings. I've come to the difficult decision that I'll just blow it all on care homes.

Feel sorry for you OP having nothing to pass onto to no-body. So sorry, I will donate to you two ugly house plants that I inherited that just won't die despite me completely ignoring and hating them. My own DC have instructed me not to put them in the will I haven't got. I can't bear the thought of them arguing though over who isn't going to love and cherish the plants like I haven't.

If I gift them to you at least the kids don't have to pay inheritance tax on assets I haven't got and the houseplants become some other families problem to deal with and there is less anger and hurt in my family.

I'm evil though, as not leaving them to my DSC either.

I thought "Not another one" when I saw this. Glad you have noticed the trend too.

Advice: Enjoy yourself. Years ago a relative had a very rich patient with no kids and a terminal cancer diagnosis. He checked into the very expensive hotel near the hospital so that he had easy access to medical care and lived off silver service and watched all his favourite films and all the films he had wanted to see but not got round to. Someone else I know did a huge expedition after a cancer diagnosis and before becoming too ill to do it. We could all learn from people like them as we are all mortal.

My polythene bag collection is worth tens of thousands. I hold the threat of being disinherited over my DD when the Santacam and elf on the shelf threats fail.

Is this to do with all the inheritance threads because they've been bugging me no end? Can't understand why there have been so many of them recently. Same person with a bee in their bonnet?

I meant the number of them, not the fact that they exist.

While I'm here, ee will inherit nothing from our parents on either side and I won't knock myself out trying to leave one for my children.

@Marnie76

😳🤣 at the people who haven’t really read the OP and don’t get irony

I don't know. Most seem to be ironic back at the op.