School Nativity

[Showers3]

At the risk of sounding like a pushy parent, I feel very upset by this and am looking for perspective on if I am being unreasonable?

Last week the script for my child’s nativity came out to help the children learn their lines. Out of 43 children, 5 of them have no speaking role and my child is one of them. I get that my child isn’t the only one, but some of the children have been asked to do several ‘narrator’ parts alongside their assigned character - surely these parts could have been spread out to give everyone a little part?

I feel very sad and don’t know if I am being unreasonable to feel this way. I also don’t know if I should ask about it at parents evening next week or just let it go?

It does on the face of it seem a bit unfair to single out these 5 children for none speaking parts when there is clearly enough to be going around. Speak to the teacher and find out what lies behind the decision as it will have come from somewhere

To be honest if only 5 children out of 43 have been given a non speaking role, I'd guess your child hasn't shown a willingness to have one? School plays are notorious for the lead players, the sideliners, the 'dressed as a sheep, Inn keeper, human animated props, general chorus roles'. If your child seems upset they don't have a one liner to roll out it's possibly worth mentioning, but if the teacher identified your child is upset at the idea of talking on stage (a big thing for kids) I really wouldn't push it further.

We ask the children what they want to do in our show. Is it possible your child said they didn’t want to speak?

Well, I’m debating whether to ask the teacher about it or not really. I don’t want to be seen as pushy parent, but equally want to advocate for my child. I don’t get a particularly good vibe from their teacher, so don’t know if perhaps it’s a personal thing - but then I don’t know if I’m also being paranoid? Argh! Never thought I’d be getting het up over a school play!

Who would be a teacher?

Have you asked your child if they're happy with their part in the play? without prompting if they're unhappy they don't have a line to say? I'd go with that as first port of call vs 'hmmm, my child doesn't appear to have a speaking role?'.

I think it's worth talking to the teacher. If it's deliberate there will be a reason for it that you should probably know so you can support the teacher and your DC.

I can remember being upgraded to a 'prime part' in a primary school play when another child fell ill and I fitted the handmade costume their mum had provided. I felt physically ill in the 2wk run up to it. My mum on the other hand was delighted I had such a 'big role!'. It was fucking awful and no one listened to me saying I really didn't want to do it. Ask your child how they really feel first OP.

As a teacher I always ask who wants a speaking part and sort it accordingly. I’d guess your child said they didn’t want a speaking part and the teacher accommodated their request. Have you asked your child?

I’m sure your child wasn’t purposely left out.

I’m jealous you are getting a nativity at all. Ours has been cancelled. We are getting a few Christmas songs recorded ☹️.

Yes speak to the teacher. Demand more lines for your child and tell them the whole Nativity should be moved for your child so YOU can see them with more lines. They have nothing better to do like plan, teach, mark etc. Tell them straight.

Some kids don’t want to have lines in a school play. Did your child want a part?

I’m a teacher and I edited the nativity script this year so that all children have at least a line to say. (I have Reception-year 2)
I’ve also worked with the music teacher so that they’ll all be playing songs on instruments throughout.
For this year I’d say just leave it. Maybe your child is shy/ struggles projecting their voice?
I am already regretting giving a big speaking part to one of my class who just cannot listen out for his cue and relies on me to prompt every single time.
Sometimes children have parents who aren’t engaged with their schooling whatsoever and don’t get any support to learn or practise their lines, this can also be a factor.
But as a parent I would be sad for my child.

I used to feel quite sad dd didn't have any lines in the plays, a year would come and go and once again she would be donkey or innkeeper wife who just had to shake her head while her 'husband' did all the talking. She never seemed too bothered but I was. One year I gently enquired if she wanted me to see if she could have a line. 'Why would you say that? I don't want to talk and told my teacher that'. She did get a staring role in yr6 production.

Does YOUR CHILD really want a speaking part or are you projecting?

In our school the children are asked and it does end with very few not speaking but it’s their choice.

Is your child very upset to have no lines?

Does your child want a speaking part? It may be that the teacher has recognised if they’re shy or would struggle with this and has given them a part they can cope with and enjoy. But if your child is sad about it it’s worth having a chat just to understand the decision. I wouldn’t go in all guns blazing because there is probably a reason, not it’s ok for you to want to know what that reason is.

I would check with your child. I assumed my child would want speaking parts in school plays (as he talks a lot..!), but we had a chat about it and he couldn't think of anything worse. He always opts for the group chorus, or stuff behind the scenes.

Ask yiur child first how they feel about the play and be guided by that. There is no harm in asking the teacher too in a polite way.

My dc would be very nervous having a speaking part and hates parent assembly's etc. I wouldn't expect or want her to be given a line to say.

@Tobebythesea

I’m jealous you are getting a nativity at all. Ours has been cancelled. We are getting a few Christmas songs recorded ☹️.

We did that and it’s been an absolutely colossal amount of work. I hope you appreciate your recorded songs 😂

In that situation it sounds to me that your child many have indicated they don’t want to speak. Have you asked them?

What have they been asked to do instead?

To have no role to play would be a bit shit but for example my nearly 6 year old son is not a public speaker at all but he loves to do jobs for his teacher so they made him stage hand. Another child in the class who also wasn't a speaker was the star so although they didn't speak they had the job of guiding the wise men round the audience.

Speak to teacher. But not confrontationally.

There are loads of factors that may have lead to this.

The pupils didn't want to speak.
It was an over sight (believe me teaching in these times is twice as hard as usual)
They have other roles (eg sorting music)

You have a solution. So you can kindly suggest to teacher that as some pupils have part and narration she could give your child some of the narration lines.

But remember not all children want to take part. Be clear your child does before having a quick word. My ds could just about tolerate sitting at the side with a tambourine in infants (he's autistic)
Last year he performed in Sweeny Todd and won the drama award at secondary school!

My point is not to think if this year they aren't ready it'll define their whole future.

Genuinely can't understand how a school is going ahead with a nativity this year especially one that appears to mix classes. A few recorded songs is more than enough.
Aside from that there are children every year ago would struggle on stage you could email the teacher nicely and ask .

As a teacher it really wouldn't bother me if you just asked about it and I could sort your child out with a line. What would bother me would be all this hand-wringing, 'maybe it's personal' stuff, making it into a far bigger deal than it needs to be. The only time a parent has ever made me cry was over a talent show (in which I had given her child a part TO TRY TO BE KIND). Just be a grown-up and politely enquire if there's a way to solve the problem, it really doesn't need to be a big deal.

I'm a parent OP and I'm cringing at your post.
You're being ridiculous.