School Nativity

[Showers3]

At the risk of sounding like a pushy parent, I feel very upset by this and am looking for perspective on if I am being unreasonable?

Last week the script for my child’s nativity came out to help the children learn their lines. Out of 43 children, 5 of them have no speaking role and my child is one of them. I get that my child isn’t the only one, but some of the children have been asked to do several ‘narrator’ parts alongside their assigned character - surely these parts could have been spread out to give everyone a little part?

I feel very sad and don’t know if I am being unreasonable to feel this way. I also don’t know if I should ask about it at parents evening next week or just let it go?

My sons worst nightmare is a speaking role! He's confident otherwise but hates being watched. He's a dancing star with 5 girls and much happier. It could be the teacher has taken children's thoughts and feelings into account.

Please don't speak to the teacher about this! Really. If your child is disappointed, explain to them that sometimes this is how it goes and that it is okay to not always be picked, it isn't a reflection of them or personal in any way. Its never too early to start teaching this message. School plays, sports days, dance shows, parties, best friends.... Your child will grow up resilient and without the need for constant validation from others

It does sound unfair but I'd check that these kids actually wanted to stand up and speak. Last time our school did a nativity play the kids got to tell the teacher what part they wanted. The teacher obviously had to decide who got the most popular parts (and she seemed to choose the kids who were good at acting) but everyone who wanted to speak got to.

We ask each child to say a line to the class. Some children refuse to say anything. Some need a lot of encouragement to be heard, despite being rather loud when playing with friends. Some are surprisingly clear and confident, although we hardly hear a peep out of them usually.

Yes, speak to the teacher and ask why. It might simply be because your child didn't want to speak. It's not a reflection of their academic ability, their physical development, or their social skills. It also isn't because the teacher doesn't like your child. Don't leave it to parents evening, just casually raise it asap.

I was grateful!! My son really struggled in Reception. The children that were excellent at reading/speaking clearly obviously got the parts with all the words and the children who struggled with doing any of this stuff ‘on demand’ tended to be the animals 🤭

By year 2 my child had a speaking part and was super confident. There such babies in Reception. Just let them enjoy the experience.

I'm a teacher and I do actually recommend you discuss this with the teacher.

Just ask if there was a reason for him not having a speaking part. Because you might actually find out something about your child - he could be too quiet when speaking in class, he could have asked not to have a line. If it was one of these, you'll know to work on his confidence and discuss it with him.

Nativity Plays bring out the worse in parents. Don't be that parent.

Why are there 38 speaking parts? Do the shepherds bring talking sheep, do the Wise Men bring spin doctors?

I would not discuss it with the teacher.

It my kid was upset at having/not having a speaking part, I might just let the teacher know that that’s why they might be a bit reluctant. Otherwise I’ve got bigger worries.

Thanks for the responses.

I honestly wouldn’t mind if the proportion of children weren’t speaking, but 5 out of 43 is a tiny number.

I also don’t care if my child doesn’t get a speaking part, but I would like to understand the reasons. - especially as some children have several ‘narrator’ lines, so there were enough to go around.

If it was a confidence issue, I want to support my child, however, part of me wonders how you are supposed to develop confidence if not given the opportunity? (My child is hardly shy btw!)

I definitely support my children with resilience and frequently manage big outbursts when they lose games at home or can’t get what they want - I agree that these are important life skills.

Anyone who knows me would certainly not put me in the camp of “pushy parent”. I know those types and I would be mortified to be seen as one.

When I asked child if they wanted to speak in the play, they didn’t seem to mind either way - certainly didn’t come across as aversive to it.

Well if your child doesn't mind then why make a thing of it? Let it go.

I agree. You are making a thing of it. If you continue to ‘make a thing of it’ you will be sending signals to your child that they are not good enough. Just enjoy the show!! Tell your child how wonderful they were. Make them feel great about themselves.

'They didn't seem to mind either way.'
There we go. Move on.

How do you know that 5 children have speaking parts. How do you know that the lines could be split between more students?

I appreciate that you're confused and hurt, but I really, really feel for the teachers in this scenario. There is absolutely no requirement why they should create this extra work for themselves, other than they do it for the children and parents.

The children who don't have speaking roles in my class play, are the ones who don't want them.
Hope that helps?

And why on earth are you upset?
Lord, my job is so tricky at times

Don't you think teachers have it hard enough at the moment?

Your child doesn't mind. Let it go.

When I asked child if they wanted to speak in the play, they didn’t seem to mind either way - certainly didn’t come across as aversive to it.

Your child isn’t arsed either way. Calm down and move on.

If your child isn't bothered let it go.
I'm a teacher and I can assure you it is really hard to be a teacher right now.
It's amazing their school is able to do a nativity at all.
Please don't bother the teacher with this, they have far too much to be stressed about already.

My class have a line each. 5 out of 43 not speaking would cause uproar amongst our parents!

if your child isn't bothered let it go.
I'm a teacher and I can assure you it is really hard to be a teacher right now.
It's amazing their school is able to do a nativity at all.
Very true.

Why on earth is your school doing a nativity? Surely they can't be inviting parents into watch?!?

My kid is Mary in this years nativity. She has 1 line 🤷‍♀️

@monoaaad

Why on earth is your school doing a nativity? Surely they can't be inviting parents into watch?!?

Our school is recording the performance and sending a link to parents.