I'll keep this as short as I can. We're married with 2 very young children. We (including the children) get on far better with my parents than his, there's issues in the past on his side and they're civil but DH is always uncomfortable and goes back into his shell in their company. They've estranged one son-in-law already after they were racist about his heritage.
We're planning on having Xmas morning and lunch at home, just the 4 of us. And then meeting up with my parents and siblings later on at my parents house, it will be hilarious and amazing fun as always. Happy and tired kids at the end of it. Agreed with PIL that we'd spend some of Boxing Day with them so they can see the children.
Enter SIL, who is spending Xmas with her boyfriend and his family. Fair enough but she's feeling guilty about hers and DH's parents spending the day alone together so she's now trying to pressure us into having parents round for the day. Neither of us wants this but she's really harassing DH about it. He's been really down and anxious because of it and won't reply to her messages. There's something that triggers him when it comes to them, even though he tries to hide it.
Now that the govt's Xmas advice has been published, she's now harassing him to "talk" again about it. Texting him and not letting it drop. We would never think to pressure her to change her plans and it's not fair. DH says it's ruined the whole of Xmas for him and he doesn't want to be made to feel guilty for how we're spending it. Not really sure what to do but I want to help the situation. I think his manipulative PIL are partly at least behind the SIL's relentless campaign.