To feel self-conscious about wearing SIL's favourite perfume

[Thickhead]

My SIL (ten years older than me) has always worn the same perfume. It's not a perfume you smell often but is extremely recognisable when you do, there's nothing else like it.

SIL wears it all the time, and also layers it with the same scented body cream etc. She always smells absolutely divine and it's been my favourite scent in the world since I was little. I think partly it's because of the happy memories associated with it - her and my DB (my idol) visiting when I was young.

Now I have tried lots of different perfumes trying to find 'my' signature scent but nothing remotely comes close to how much I love SIL's perfume. But it feels like 'hers', and every time I wear it I feel a bit guilty, like I'm stealing. I'd feel really embarrassed if she ever smelt me wearing it.

I'm being unreasonable aren't I? I think it's because scent is such a personal thing. I know she gives clothes with this perfume on to her kids to stop them being homesick etc...

Aromatics is my mum’s perfume too. My kids recognise the smell and they are both adults now. I love it too.

@PoorMansPaulaRadcliffe

I used to wear some fairly high-end perfumes, when I had a few bob - my favourite was 'Philosykos' by Diptyque. It wasn't megabucks, but around 100 quid for the EDP, I think. It really was lovely, though. No-one ever commented on it. More recently, I ordered some stuff from one of 'Brand Alley' type companies and it all went a bit wrong and they sent me a bottle of perfume as a goodwill gesture. Stayed in the plastic for yonks, and then I sprayed some on one day, just to see. A woman on the train and one in the station's 'Pret' asked me what it was, they liked it so much.

It was 'Heartbreaker' by Trump-supporting anti-vaxxer and porn star, Jenna Jameson. Retails for about eight quid. I think there was even a charm thingy around the neck that you could dangle from your bush, probably 😒 So there you have it.

My husband's favourite fragrance is Philosykos. It's gorgeous! But very subtle... I'm guessing 'Heartbreaker' is not subtle!

The perfume my husband compliments me on the most is my Batiste dry shampoo. In the scent 'fruity and cheeky cherry'.

Not smelt this..desperate to smell it now..!

My DM once got very offended that one of her friends was wearing DM's "signature" scent and friend was claiming she (friend) had discovered it. Went on and on about it until I reminded her that I was the one who had started wearing that perfume and DM had found it through me (I had gotten it as a sample). My point is no one owns a scent, it's silly to try to claim ownership. Also your SIL might be flattered

So lovely to see so many Aromatics fans on here! I thought it was a bit of a marmite frgrance just because of how strong it is if not carefully applied! I don't think it's niche, but I've only smelt it once or twice out in public, and always on women a fair bit older than me. Everyone my age seems to wear fruity florals or soft florientals, not anything remotely resembling a chypre, so maybe that's making it seem more unusual than it is. It's so beautiful.

@SockDrawer do you know how recent the reformulation is? I've had my bottle for about 5 years, so if it was since then I can't really say. I know I went off Dior Dune hugely when they reformulated that one.

Just seen that you only see her once a year. Jesus, why wouldn't you wear it?

It was 'Heartbreaker' by Trump-supporting anti-vaxxer and porn star, Jenna Jameson. Retails for about eight quid. I think there was even a charm thingy around the neck that you could dangle from your bush, probably 😒 So there you have it.

A friend of mine used to wear Lace by Yardley. Smelt bloody gorgeous on her, she was often asked what it was.

The only time I have ever been complimented on my perfume I was wearing O de Lancome. But I'm not really that interested in perfume. I'll occasionally spray on a bit of a L'Occitane one that I like but that's about it.

It’s my favourite. I got a tester about 25 years ago and have worn it on and off ever since. I don’t wear perfume every day anymore (doesn’t seem worth it when WFH) so I occasionally get a whiff of it when I put my scarf on.

If I were you SIL I’d be absolutely touched that you wanted to wear something you associated with me. She and your DB sound like lovely people.

In absolute fairness to Ms Jameson, I went on Frangrantica, out of interest, and it's got a very very high rating, especially for something in that price bracket. Apparently it's quite well known among 'noses' as a sleb perfume done well.

I still pretended to forget what it was when asked!

I wear Nina Ricci, L'air du temps.. ....like a pp, I get stopped in the street and complimented all the time on it.
It is 'my" smell. I don't wear any other perfume.

It used to be my mum's but she now wears aromatics now she's older so I'm guessing ì will also move onto that.

@Ratonastick

It’s my favourite. I got a tester about 25 years ago and have worn it on and off ever since. I don’t wear perfume every day anymore (doesn’t seem worth it when WFH) so I occasionally get a whiff of it when I put my scarf on.

If I were you SIL I’d be absolutely touched that you wanted to wear something you associated with me. She and your DB sound like lovely people.

They really are. The best people.

Nah - for years before it was sold in the UK I got my paws on a new fragrance from France, which everyone then associated with me. One of my colleagues turned up a few years later wearing the same fragrance and I can honestly say we bonded over it! A shared love of something is cool and can be an ice-breaker. She’s one of my closest friends now!

I find it difficult to distinguish between Aromatics and EL Youthdew.
Love them.

What a pile of crap!

What the hell is a 'signature scent' anyway? Is is simply one you like a lot and wear all the time?

It doesn't make you youneeek, it just makes you smell nice. You aren't the only person in the world using that scent, hundreds of thousands are. So what? Uniqueness comes from being yourself, not slavishly following what the media dictates.

I looked at that Ffern website the other day, after seeing a thread here. That's a pile of crap too. Their fragrances may well smell great but the way they are marketed plays heavily on all this exclusivity bullshit that some women subscribe to. Even more daft is that if a space suddenly appears on their register for their current fragrance, it means that someone else has returned theirs!

Every day's a school day on MN - I had absolutely no idea that anyone would care if a relative or friend wore the same perfume as them. To me it seems weird to feel so strongly over a mass market consumer product.

Just tell her a friend of yours gave it you as a present so she doesn't think you're a stalkerish

I think if she was someone you saw regularly it would be a bit weird - with the thousands of fragrances out there why would you wear one that someone else you know wears all the time.

But given you only see her once a year then I don’t think it’s an issue.

Like it or not scent though is massively evocative - I’m not sure I would want to wear something that everyone else would associate with my sister in law...I’d rather find something else.

@PoorMansPaulaRadcliffe That made me laugh so much!

I was going to ask what you replied when asked what it was? But i can see you pretended not to know. Wise move!

Did you use the whole bottle?

I felt a bit bad because I probably should have owned it and said - "It's Jenna Jameson; it is what it is; it's not half-bad, is it?" Because it wasn't. It was actually rather nice. But I was worried they would think I'd bought it because I was a right-wing nut/porn lover which would have been compounded by treating to tell the backstory in fifteen seconds, so I went for the easiest option if "Goodness, I'm trying to think. What is it?"

Yes I did.

trying of

The reviews of it on Clinique seem to be that the formula’s changed and it’s not as good now. Do you still like it though@Thickhead?

This. It was my signature scent for years. Then it was changed and lasts nowhere near as long as it used to, infact it doesn't last at all. So you're fine to douse yourself in it op, no one, not even your SIL will have a clue you're wearing it after about 5 minutes. It's a great shame.

Someone upthread suggested Youth Dew as an alternative. I will second this, although, yet again, that doesn't last like it used to either!

My mums smell is Chanel no 5 I love it and it evokes such happy memories for me, but it is her smell and her thing so I wouldn’t wear it myself because it’d feel weird like I’m stepping on her toes. That probably makes no sense lol it’s more a feeling than anything I suppose, my smell is jo malone pomegranate noir but I’ll give the Clinique a sniff!

Personally I wouldn't care, I didn't notice when my MOL started wearing my perfume till she mentioned it. Perfume smells different on different people. But some people do mind. I had a friend once who went crazy at me for buying 'her' perfume. Just ask your SIL if she minds you wearing the same scent as you love it so much. She'll either say yes sure or I'd rather you didn't, then you know xx

I went on holiday years ago to the States and fell in love with DKNY Women. It's quite unusual, I think. Anyway, my sister liked it, bought loads and sort of took it over. Also, she's a smoker and I'm not so now I tend it associate it more with a smoking smell and it's put me off. So, actually, I was a bit put out. But there's lots of other perfumes in the DKNY range, they seem to suit my skin chemistry. I haven't bothered wearing them during lockdown, now I think I'll start again!