To feel self-conscious about wearing SIL's favourite perfume

[Thickhead]

My SIL (ten years older than me) has always worn the same perfume. It's not a perfume you smell often but is extremely recognisable when you do, there's nothing else like it.

SIL wears it all the time, and also layers it with the same scented body cream etc. She always smells absolutely divine and it's been my favourite scent in the world since I was little. I think partly it's because of the happy memories associated with it - her and my DB (my idol) visiting when I was young.

Now I have tried lots of different perfumes trying to find 'my' signature scent but nothing remotely comes close to how much I love SIL's perfume. But it feels like 'hers', and every time I wear it I feel a bit guilty, like I'm stealing. I'd feel really embarrassed if she ever smelt me wearing it.

I'm being unreasonable aren't I? I think it's because scent is such a personal thing. I know she gives clothes with this perfume on to her kids to stop them being homesick etc...

[LimpidPools]

I knew it had to be. It's my scent too. The one that always makes me feel better. I don't know that you'd ever find another quite the same. And if it makes you happy that's enough.

And I'm not your sister-in-law, so it's definitely not just hers

I also love Guerlain Shalimar, but it doesn't have that same comforting feeling. Nina Ricci L'air du Temps is another.
I know you didn't ask for alternatives - I just wanted to talk about them!

[Thickhead]

@LimpidPools

I knew it had to be. It's my scent too. The one that always makes me feel better. I don't know that you'd ever find another quite the same. And if it makes you happy that's enough.

And I'm not your sister-in-law, so it's definitely not just hers

I also love Guerlain Shalimar, but it doesn't have that same comforting feeling. Nina Ricci L'air du Temps is another.
I know you didn't ask for alternatives - I just wanted to talk about them!

Ahhh. It's almost medicinal isn't it? So comforting.

I do like Shalimar too, and Guerlain's Mitsouko comes a close second to AE. Haven't tried L'air du Temps but will give that a sniff :)

[GreyHare]

Have you tried the Aromatics in Black, I love both but tend to sway towards the Black but then you would be similar but not the same.

[Thickhead]

@Mia184

Oh, I LOVE Aromatics Elixir! I only wear it during the winter months though; I find it too heavy during the rest of the year.

Oh yes, definitely suits Autumn and winter better. A frosty day like today is perfect. Maybe why it's on my mind so much.

[Thickhead]

@GreyHare

Have you tried the Aromatics in Black, I love both but tend to sway towards the Black but then you would be similar but not the same.

Oh thank you, I'll give that one a try! That would assuage the guilt :)

[youvegottenminuteslynn]

@Notonthestairs

I've been wearing the same perfume for 30 years. I've been stopped in the street by people telling me I smell nice

I'd be v flattered if someone bought a bottle off the back of me smelling nice.

And I only starting wearing it as my serial dating housemate had 3 bottles of it given to her (by different suitors) one Christmas and donated a bottle to me!

Ooh which one is it??

[alecguinnessgenuineclass]

@NoPainNoTartine

No one owns a perfume (or a name or anything)
but it's a pretty shitty thing to do.

Many women collect perfumes and change them as often as they change socks, it's absolutely fine. So of course you can wear one of these!

When someone as close has a signature scent, and is as close as your SIL, you are being ridiculous and petty. There are hundreds of perfumes, or eau de parfum if you don't want to spend a fortune, it's not hard to find your own.

You can even have your own one created as a gift!

What you could do is look at the perfumer and see if another one from their collection would work on you.

YAB massively U to wear hers.

This is a strong contender for the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen on Mumsnet. No one "owns" a perfume, if the SIL wants a signature scent that literally no one else can wear (and there's no evidence to say that she will even care) then she could have her own perfume created herself!

OP I say wear whatever you like. We all need any mood lift we can get in these godforsaken times!

[OnTheBenchOfDoom]

My friend wears a perfume and it smells divine on her but weird on me

I have a "signature" perfume but I wouldn't care if someone else started wearing it. I have tried lots and lots of perfumes but always go back to the same one.

[GU24Mum]

I love it too! I'd wear it but if you only see SIL very infrequently, perhaps not on those couple of days.

[ChaToilLeam]

Wearing the same perfume as another person, even if it’s “signature” scent is not a shitty thing to do, FFS. Shagging her husband is shitty. Stealing her credit card is shitty. Badmouthing her is shitty. But wanting to wear the same perfume because it is so lovely is just a compliment to her good taste. Aromatics Elixir really didn’t smell good on me, but I adore Coco and Sycomore by Chanel. It wouldn’t bother me one iota if someone else decided to wear them too.

[RightOnTheEdge]

If you only see her once a year OP then go for it!
Its lovely what you said about her and your reasons for wearing it, she would probably be flattened. I know I would be.

[PoorMansPaulaRadcliffe]

FFS. I thought it might be Penhaligon's or Diptyque - something even vaguely 'niche'. Clinique Elixir has been a massive seller for the best part of fifty years. It's not my cup of tea, but my mum and loads of her friends wear it quite often. You can't have a 'signature scent' that shifts thousands and thousands of units - it's like saying Chanel No.5 is someone's 'signature scent'. You're certainly not 'petty' - how on earth is it petty to wear a popular perfume? Loopy - nor 'massively' unreasonable. If it bothers you so much don't wear it around her, but - trust me; she'll have encountered it on women before. And presumably not suffered PTSD.

[FortunesFave]

What does it smell like? I can never find a scent I like...I like citrus smells and sometimes more of a musky smell. Any recommendations?

[Pukkatea]

For a couple of years before I went to uni I had a signature scent. It is well known but not worn by that many people and quite expensive for a teenager so I was very unique. At university another girl also wore it, but basically took baths in the stuff so you could smell it when she was 50 feet away. Everyone then referred to it as 'hers' and I was gutted, ha. I stopped wearing it and still don't years later, need to buy it again!

[HardlyEver]

@PoorMansPaulaRadcliffe

FFS. I thought it might be Penhaligon's or Diptyque - something even vaguely 'niche'. Clinique Elixir has been a massive seller for the best part of fifty years. It's not my cup of tea, but my mum and loads of her friends wear it quite often. You can't have a 'signature scent' that shifts thousands and thousands of units - it's like saying Chanel No.5 is someone's 'signature scent'. You're certainly not 'petty' - how on earth is it petty to wear a popular perfume? Loopy - nor 'massively' unreasonable. If it bothers you so much don't wear it around her, but - trust me; she'll have encountered it on women before. And presumably not suffered PTSD.

Exactly. I agree with @alecguinnessgenuineclass that the accusations of it being 'shitty' to wear someone else's 'signature scent' is one of the maddest things I've read on here lately.

You can have a 'signature scent' if you're a gazillionaire aesthete who hires a team of parfumiers to create you a unique perfume. If, like most of us, you wear a mass-produced, commercially available scent, then you don't have a 'signature scent', you just like to wear the same perfume a lot. And you will recover from someone else wearing it too.

[BruceAndNosh]

I love that scent.
It was somewhat ruined for me when I had my handbag nicked from work, and the thief was caught trying to pass a forged check of mine.
The policewoman who contacted me asked what else was in the handbag, I remembered a gold pen that my dad gave me (I got it back!) and my tiny precious bottle of Elixir.
"ah, yes her toddler was playing with this bottle and the house smelt like a tart's bedroom"


well, yes if you spray an entire bottle of Eau de Parfum over Teddy, it does.
But a single drop is lovely

[WhatATimeToBeAlive]

Ooh, I wear it too! Literally finished my bottle this week. It's gorgeous. Crack on!

[Pinkyandthebrainz]

Do people actually worry about this stuff

[PinkSparklyPussyCat]

I didn't realise it was a thing that you're not supposed to wear the same perfume as someone else. I wouldn't care if someone wore the same perfume as me, in fact I probably wouldn't notice!

[NoPainNoTartine]

You can have a 'signature scent' if you're a gazillionaire aesthete who hires a team of parfumiers to create you a unique perfume. If, like most of us, you wear a mass-produced, commercially available scent, then you don't have a 'signature scent', you just like to wear the same perfume a lot. And you will recover from someone else wearing it too.

You are spectacularly missing my point

Wearing perfumes including one of the many perfumes worn by someone else is a non issue.

Signature sent means the one and only perfume ever worn by someone. It's not that common these days that someone sticks to one only.

when it's a close family member and you chose on purpose to wear the exact same one as YOUR perfume, then yes YABU. If you rotate between 10 perfumes, then ok, don't wear around them or anyone from the family, but if you have that many to chose, why wear it at all?

Of course no one owns the perfume, that's literally what I wrote
but unless you are on MN trying to be contradictory for the sake of it, any normal person would also find it weird to chose the same perfume as your MIL, your son's girlfriend or your DH ex wife... It's just weird.

[SirVixofVixHall]

It is a gorgeous and often overlooked scent. I knew someone who wore it and it wafted about as she walked. Heavenly.
Could you wear it in one of the variations ? Aromatics in White/ Black for instance ? Although I can see the advantage in wearing the same scent at family gatherings, no clashing mix of perfumes, I can also see that the scent has become “her” so it is a bit like copying someone’s style or favourite dress. So I might limit wears to when I knew I wouldn’t see her, and if she ever notices you can explain how much you love it and that it reminds you of her. My Mum and I sometimes wore the same scent, so if you are close then it can be a nice thing too. Could you hint heavily how much you love it and she might get it for you for Christmas ? Problem would then be solved !

[TheStripes]

I only see SIL and her family once a year or so - they don't live nearby - so realistically they're not going to encounter me wearing it.

I don’t think she will realise you are wearing it if she is wearing it herself. It means you can enjoy wearing your favourite scent guilt free.

[CorianderQueen]

Unless she's mixed it herself then wear it freely.

I do understand though if she feels it's her special smell

[Series2]

My friend wears Aromatics Elixir, but sometimes in the summer wears something that is similar but not, same kind of family i think. Its by Laboratory Perfumes and is called Amber. Its more of a "summer version" of her normal fragrance.

[HardlyEver]

@NoPainNoTartine

You can have a 'signature scent' if you're a gazillionaire aesthete who hires a team of parfumiers to create you a unique perfume. If, like most of us, you wear a mass-produced, commercially available scent, then you don't have a 'signature scent', you just like to wear the same perfume a lot. And you will recover from someone else wearing it too.

You are spectacularly missing my point

Wearing perfumes including one of the many perfumes worn by someone else is a non issue.

Signature sent means the one and only perfume ever worn by someone. It's not that common these days that someone sticks to one only.

when it's a close family member and you chose on purpose to wear the exact same one as YOUR perfume, then yes YABU. If you rotate between 10 perfumes, then ok, don't wear around them or anyone from the family, but if you have that many to chose, why wear it at all?

Of course no one owns the perfume, that's literally what I wrote
but unless you are on MN trying to be contradictory for the sake of it, any normal person would also find it weird to chose the same perfume as your MIL, your son's girlfriend or your DH ex wife... It's just weird.

Don't be silly, @NoPainNoTartine. Lots of people only ever wear one perfume -- I do myself. But if that perfume is widely available and commonly worn, wearing the same perfume as someone else in your circle isn't some kind of declaration of war or identity theft, and to think it is is like screaming that your SIL 'stole' your baby name when it turns out that the name is Jack.