Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder is it possible to actually be vegetarian

81 replies

Nostrings457 · 25/11/2020 22:56

I long to be a vegetarian (again). Returned to meat after 2 years of veggie nearly 10 years ago. I was brought up on (and am married to somone who thinks the same) the thought that its not a meal if it doesnt contain meat.

I like the taste of meat but i hate the whole process of chicken farms / how disgusting animals are treated.

My thoughts / questions are

  1. I could just (gradually) eat less meat but cooking for DH and 3DC it diesnt last - I am all or nothing
  2. I put a mental block on mental eating so i dont feel guilty but what I just saw on News @ 10 has made me face it
  3. I am NOT an adventerous cook and think i would resort to cheese and bread (already anaemic so not a option)
  4. If you are veggie and have DC how do you do this practically? Is it even possible? (I know this is the case IRL but genuinely dont know how i could manage it)
  5. My DH would hate it and it would make cooking problematic
OP posts:
checkingforballoons · 25/11/2020 23:30

Pretty much lifelong veggie with meat eating DH and DS here! I find it really easy. Sometimes we all eat something vegetarian, sometimes I just adapt a meal as I go - e.g make a bean chilli and divide it into two pans before I add beef to one, make a big veg and cashew stir fry but cook some chicken in another pan to add to theirs. If I’m feeling lazy and doing something like pie and mash I just buy two kinds of pie, that sort of thing. It’s definitely doable.

blisstwins · 25/11/2020 23:31

Vegan is hard. Lacto-ovo is easy, imo. I have been veg since age 11. My children have been raised veg. When I was married my then-husband ate meat. I just cooked veg (soups, salads, quiche, curries) and prepared meats on the side that he added. He got used to eating less meat and usually ordered meat at lunch or in restaurants. Used to say his diet was terrible before being with me and that he ate MUCH more veg. We divorced for non-diet related issues!

blackkitty1234 · 25/11/2020 23:32

Sorry OP, I just saw you already said what your regular meals are. Chilli, casseroles and and curries can be easily made veggie. You Don’t like Quinn but you could try some different plant based meats. There are loads of options. Also lots of people say they don’t like tofu, but they have never had good tofu. There’s lots of bad tofu out there. Maybe give it another try. Otherwise if you’re making your chicken casserole, you could make up an individual portion without the meat for yourself, maybe add lentils instead. It’s definitely doable. Good luck 😉

Griselda1 · 25/11/2020 23:34

I was vegetarian for a few years before becoming vegan.I was really struck by how much dairy, particularly cheese, there was in vegetarian meals. When I ate out I was really not eating well as a result.
Analysis of your meals through a dietary app will be important, I need to be careful about calcium. It's not at all difficult to get enough calcium but plotting all my meals for a few weeks is a useful exercise to see what I'm missing.

blackkitty1234 · 25/11/2020 23:34

@ShalomToYouJackie

Cook your usual meals and swap the meat for meat substitutes. It'll be trial and error whilst you find out which brands you prefer.

Linda McCartney does great meatballs, pies, fishcakes, burgers and sausages. Richmonds do v realistic meat free sausages. What the cluck chicken is good too. Tesco own brand mince is one of my faves and Quorn fishless fillets are lovely

Lol, you’re not kidding about the Richmond sausages. They are so similar to meat I cannot stomach them. My husband cooks them and I have to have the extractor fan on full blast 🤢
thaegumathteth · 25/11/2020 23:36

I've been vegetarian since I was 9 so 30 years. Up until recently I was the only one but dd (10) has recently become pescatarian.

A lot of the time we all have a veggie meal eg baked potatoes or pizza or pasta dishes or samosas etc or we cook all the same thing but with meat for dh and ds and non meat for us. Eg chicken fajitas just use quorn for ours and put in at end. Things like roast dinner quite often have it all but not a main thing. Sometimes have quorn or whatever.

Litthefirealready · 25/11/2020 23:41

I find it really hard, all four of us are veggie, but one kid hates beans, chickpeas, lentils, eggs mushrooms and cheese apart from mozzarella and the other hates most cooked veg, eggs and anything spicy. I’m so fed up with trying to feed them and worried about their health. Btw - the kids went veggie, we followed suit for ease!! Believe it or not.

princesspeppax · 26/11/2020 06:17

I'm vegetarian, have been for 10+ years but my husband is not and my kids are not either I will let them decide for themselves when older, I do cook meat though for them even though i dont eat it myselfSmile I doubt my husband would give up eating meat so we don't have much other options

pinkbalconyrailing · 26/11/2020 06:21

would a compromise suit you and your family?
we did veganuary last year and since then we eat vegetarian or vegan food 5 days a week. fish on fridays and meat (high welfare, low impact chicken or turkey usually) another day.
dh and dc sometimes have a pack of ham for sandwiches during the week, but mostly fake meat or cheese.

pinkbalconyrailing · 26/11/2020 06:23

many meat replacement products have come in the last couple of years. some are really good apart from the fart pellets that is quorn

Angel2702 · 26/11/2020 06:24

The kids are veggies as well. My husband was for a few years but at home he is more than happy to eat veggie meals. He only eats meat if we are out so not often.

I think it depends what sort of meals you are making TBH.

CherryPavlova · 26/11/2020 06:45

I had one child vegetarian from five and another who likes blue steak. Polar opposites in terms of attitudes to eating.

I did one meal usually. I had a few individual pots and just made a non meat version besides the meat version.
Chicken casserole or root vegetable.
Prawn pasta or plain tomato pasta
Chicken fajitas or vegetable fajitas
Lamb curry or throw in a banana.

Do lots of ordinary non meat meals. Macaroni or cauliflower cheese, pizza, omelette, risotto.

Ohalrightthen · 26/11/2020 06:58

If you enjoy meat but object to the treatment of animals why not just be more conscientious about where you source your ingredients? Shop local, free range, organic.

If youve got space and you really want to go wild, rear your own! My parents have a couple of pigs every year, and a handful of chickens, all of whom live fabulous lives grubbing about and then end up in the pot.

Runssometimes · 26/11/2020 08:41

I think it depends on why you’re veggie as if you can’t imagine eating animals then it’s really not hard to stick to. I went veggie at 14 and my mum made me cook for myself but I’ve never eaten meat since, some 32 years later. We had cows and I simply couldn’t bear the thought of eating animals any more. I’ve never been anaemia, even whilst pregnant although my meat eating mum and sister often are. I did crave leafy green veg during pregnancy though. It’s true if you are prone to anaemia you need to be careful as my sister went veggie and her anaemia got worse, so she went back to eating red meat sometimes.

I’ve had some rough times as a veggie when travelling. Remote Mongolia doesn’t have much vegetables so I relied on a stash of museli bars, I ate a lot of picked veg in Russia in winter, in Zambia I lived entirely on bread, pumpkin leaves and maize meal with the odd egg. But I never once wanted to eat meat. Lost 30kgs from all the walking and lack of dairy!

However there’s a huge variety of foods in the UK I would recommend you buy some decent cookbooks as I found trying traditional meat and veg dinners felt like there was something missing. There were few veggie substitutes when I was first veggie, soya chunks (not that tasty) but no tofu.

Think around hearty soups and stews for this time of the year, beans for protein although protein really isn’t hard to get - even pasta contains 12g per 100g. You want to ensure you are getting B12 found in marmite or breakfast cereals or just take a supplement

DH and I were together about a year before I realised he’d been slowly phasing out meat. Never bothered me that he ate it, but I never cooked it, he’d eat it out or round other people houses but then basically started leaving it on the plate before one day saying he didn’t want it anymore, about a year ago he started going vegan, so we mostly eat vegan food at home. DS now 8, has never eaten meat or fish. Never been the slightest issue, as in most families, he eats what we eat, but he’s not interested in becoming vegan and cannot stand plant milk, so we still buy dairy just for him. In the last year, due to DH this means some separate meals - like mac and cheese sauces but lots of meals he eats are actually vegan. He won’t eat plant based dairy substitutes or spicy food so our family roster of meals is something like this:
Root veg soup with lentils
(Very mild) chilli with soy or quorn mince and rice
Stirfry with tofu and rice/noodles
Mac and cheese (we have cashew nut sauce, DS has standard sauce served with veggies
Tomato and veg pasta or pesto pasta with vegan pesto
Roast dinner - quorn or plant based meat substitute
Veggie burgers and wedges
Shepherds pie with veggie mince
Lazy Pastry pie with quorn pieces, Campbell’s mushroom soup, loads of veggies (mushrooms, carrots, celery, peas, sweetcorn, peppers, onion) and bought pastry. Due to soup and quorn this isn’t vegan but DS loves it, so we have it about once a month.
Falafel wraps and salads
Hot dogs with sauerkraut
DS will sometimes cook himself an omlette or scrambled eggs with help (DH and I rarely eat eggs anymore) but one egg would provide almost all the protein DS needs for a day so are a good thing for him to have depending on what he’s had to eat at school.
It’s actually not that hard. DS is very healthy, never been any concerns and is very rarely ill.

He’s never wanted to eat meat and is a committed vegetarian. Never been an issue round at friends houses or parties either.

So I think you need to look at what food there is rather than what you can’t have. Or depending on your reasons for being veggie look at higher welfare/quality meat and just have it much less frequently. The vegetarian society is a great source of info for nutrition.

CaffiSaliMali · 26/11/2020 08:46

DH and I have been veggie for 10 years. Before we went veggie we started eating more veggie meals, like bolognese with soy mince, vegetable enchiladas and bean chilli. We stopped buying more meat and stopped eating it altogether when it ran out. Before that happened we made a 1 month meal plan so we weren't stuck for ideas of what to eat to avoid temptation. It's probably a bit anal but it worked for us!

When we eat with family we often cook veggie mince and the others meat mince and then split a bolognese sauce between both dishes. It doesn't take as much extra work as it sounds like it would.

A friend of mine is veggie and cooks a veggie dish for the family. If her DH and DC want meat her DH cooks it separately. E.g. she makes macaroni cheese and he adds fried bacon pieces. Or she makes something like mash and beans and cooks herself veggie sausages and her DH does meat ones.

PurpleDaisies · 26/11/2020 08:54

It becomes much easier as you build up a repertoire of meals. You don’t have to go cold turkey (as it were!). You could try one or two new things a week.

As others have said, there are loads of easy meat substitutes now. I try to limit those a bit because it gets a bit expensive. Supermarkets have really upped their game in frozen vegetarian burgers, chicken nuggets etc.

The bbc good food website has a great selection of veggie recipes. Batch cooking and freezing is your friend.

contrmary · 26/11/2020 08:56

You are looking at this the wrong way. Your problem is:

I like the taste of meat but i hate the whole process of chicken farms / how disgusting animals are treated.

Rather than try to find ways to cut out meat (impossible and unnatural, humans are omnivores and are designed to eat meat), you should address the real issue, your concern about how animals are treated.

This is easy enough to do with CBT and positive reframing. Rather than thinking about "poor animals" remind yourself that they are just animals, not humans. Nature has put them there as part of the food chain. It is natural for humans to exploit the resources nature has provided - there is no need to worry about the welfare of something that is already dead by the time it reaches the supermarket shelf, let alone your plate.

Emmapeeler2 · 26/11/2020 08:57

Great thread. I mostly do much of the above. At the moment I am making lentil soups and bean stews. We do eat quorn sausages etc but not always. Roast veg with halloumi and something like rice or 2min lentils is an easy option without using quorn products. Jacket potatoes are a life saver. The kids weren't keen on lentil bolognese but like quorn mince. Kids/DH are just used to veggie meals.

PurpleDaisies · 26/11/2020 08:58

Rather than try to find ways to cut out meat (impossible and unnatural, humans are omnivores and are designed to eat meat), you should address the real issue, your concern about how animals are treated.

It is absolutely not impossible or unnatural to be vegetarian. Confused

Emmapeeler2 · 26/11/2020 09:00

I don't have a problem with the idea that humans eat meat but like the OP have a massive problem with modern meat production. I am not sure that could (for me) be resolved with CBT. There are also great veggie/vegan products and options in restaurants now so it seems unnecessary to go to counselling!

Hiphopopotamus · 26/11/2020 09:07

@contrmary there is nothing natural about the way humans intensively farm meat. Especially when it comes to highly intelligent animals like pigs. I’m not saying everyone should be vegetarian but we left behind the ‘natural’ way of doing things a long time ago

Hobbesmanc · 26/11/2020 09:12

My OH is a meat eater but He's fine to just have meat when we eat out alongside meat based treats for lunches etc (mainly smelly continental sausage that stinks out the fridge)

Neither of us like quorn etc or the plant based ready meals - apart from Linda's meat balls which are really good! Paneer is awesome in curries etc- deffo fry it first separately though as its nicer that way. Tofu is great in stir fries if crisped up and halloumi and mushrooms are really useful too. I make a lentil moussaka and a chilli with finely diced courgette that are better than any mince variety

ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings · 26/11/2020 09:16

I've been vegan for the last year, and before that I was veggie for about 20 years. Dp eats meat technically but in practice his diet is 99% plant based. We have 2 kids who are are being raised vegetarian. I don't cook seperate meals so in practice any animal products the kids and dp eat are limited to cold sandwich fillers and takeaways. None of us are fussy/have allergies /hate quorn and tofu etc which helps.

Anyway, obviously our situation is different to yours in lots of ways, but I would suggest if you really want to go veggie then changing your mindset around meat is the best first step. The idea that it's not a meal unless it contains meat is crazy, even if you didn't want to go veggie that would be a mindset worth changing. Maybe just try and do something like "meat free Mondays" for a while, or pick one meal to try and replace the meat (swapping real sausages for mock meat sausages is an easy switch I think, I've not tried the Richmond ones but the birds eye ones are pea protein based and very nice). Then just build it up if you want to. At the very least I would aim to not have meat with every meal, maybe even just try and build up to having it a few times a week. This is for your health if nothing else!

I wouldn't push yourself to go veggie all at once, it may not be something you ever get to. But I wouldn't try and put a mental block on your feelings around meat either, I don't think living in cognitive dissonance and denial is a healthy state of mind for anyone. But don't put too much pressure on yourself and just do your best in small steps.

blackkitty1234 · 26/11/2020 09:21

@contrmary

You are looking at this the wrong way. Your problem is:

I like the taste of meat but i hate the whole process of chicken farms / how disgusting animals are treated.

Rather than try to find ways to cut out meat (impossible and unnatural, humans are omnivores and are designed to eat meat), you should address the real issue, your concern about how animals are treated.

This is easy enough to do with CBT and positive reframing. Rather than thinking about "poor animals" remind yourself that they are just animals, not humans. Nature has put them there as part of the food chain. It is natural for humans to exploit the resources nature has provided - there is no need to worry about the welfare of something that is already dead by the time it reaches the supermarket shelf, let alone your plate.

Just wow. No words. 😲
JoJoSM2 · 26/11/2020 09:27

I wouldn’t force it if it doesn’t come to you naturally.
You could still make some positive changes like eating meat less frequently and buying organic/high welfare. Still better than scoffing large amounts of battery meat every day.

Swipe left for the next trending thread