Mumsnet Logo
My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To expect a share of the money

59 replies

mixedmama · 19/10/2007 12:27

I probably am being unreasonable but has just been swimming around in my head.

Up until April this year DH, DS and I lived with BIL, or rather he lived with us as the flat was under DH name.

They lived there before DH and I got together. When we had DS I had hoped that he would move out as we were now a family and he is more than able to afford to be able to do so, we were less able to do so. He didnt. He is also quite rude and arrogant, which I suppose is a separate issue but it made living in the same house quite difficult. For this and a whole load of other reasons DH and I moved to a much smaller place which will not accomodate our growing family quite as well, but is fine as we are living by ourselves which i love.

The problem that I have now is that there are two rooms spare in the old flat (which is half the rent of our new place) and BIL has noow decided to rent these rooms out. He earns at least £1000 more than Dh and I combined and I will soon be on mat lleave to have baby no 2 and sort of feel that DH should be getting half of the money from the rooms being let as the tenancy is still in his name and even an extra £200 or whatever will really help us.

Am I right in thinking this or do you think I am just being greedy. You can be honest, I just wonder really.

OP posts:
Report

flowerybeanbag · 19/10/2007 12:31

Who's paying the rent on the flat? If your DH is still paying some then yes I'd say he should get some of the rent from these rooms.

If your BIL is now paying the full rent for this place and wants to rent out rooms to help cover the extra he is paying now you and DH have moved out, then no you shouldn't get any of it.

I wouldn't think something like your DH's name being on the tenancy should affect it - if he's not paying for the flat.

Report

MaryBleedinShelley · 19/10/2007 12:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaryBleedinShelley · 19/10/2007 12:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Journey · 19/10/2007 12:35

Why is the tenancy still in dh's name if he has moved out?

Does the tenancy on your previous place allow you to sublet?

Report

mixedmama · 19/10/2007 12:44

This is the problem, you see. I dont think the tenancy allows you to sublet (altho cannot be sure) and in fact I am trying to get Dh to give up the tenancy as any responsibilty then falls to him IYSWIM. If Dh gives up the tenancy then BIL would no longer be able to live there.

Whilst we lived there we done all grocery shopping, rent paying with BIL paying very few small bills. We dont contribute now so comepletely see your point that we shouldnt get anything - that does make sense.

I suppose what I am a little more upset (well not upset) is that the size and budget required to run that fllat is perfect for us as we are struggling with the new place whereas he has much more than he needs in terms of both space and money, but seems to feel he has some right to it and to make some money from it.

It is a local authority place and I know DH needs to come off anyyway as it is wrong for him to still be on there, butu it may come to moving back anyway if we cannot keep up with the new place. DH talks about buying it in the near future but I fail to see why he would be entitles to anything then even if they did.

OP posts:
Report

peskipixie · 19/10/2007 12:46

i would be concerned that dh is doing something fraudulent - surely the council knows he doesnt live there through council tax register?

Report

ManxMum · 19/10/2007 12:48

If it's local authority and your DH names is on the rent book, EVICT YOUR BIL!!

He has no right to be there, you do!!

Report

vitomum · 19/10/2007 12:48

so is this right then - your dh moved out of his own local authority tenancy, leaving your BIL there, despite the fact that he has no legal right to the tenancy at all. surely your dh can still ask BIL to leave so that you can move back in? what's stopping your DH doing that?

Report

MaryBleedinShelley · 19/10/2007 12:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ManxMum · 19/10/2007 12:49

I agree with PeskiPixie, you could lose this flat completely and where would that leave you?

Report

bethoo · 19/10/2007 12:51

if your dh is paying the rent then all the rent being paid by lodgers should go to your dh.

Report

mixedmama · 19/10/2007 12:52

peskie - i have been hammering this home recently as I completely agree. really i want him to just cut all ties with the place as we are struggling and may be entitled to more help if i could just get this place gone. he feels he cant do that to his brother and he feels we may need to move back anyway, which is something i just cannot do right now unless alot changes and he is adamant he wants to buy the place.

I feel a little stuck basically.

OP posts:
Report

MaryBleedinShelley · 19/10/2007 12:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NurseyJo · 19/10/2007 12:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ManxMum · 19/10/2007 12:53

Sub letting a local authority property is fraudulent, even if it is your husbands brother!

Sort it now, before you get into real trouble.

Report

NurseyJo · 19/10/2007 12:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ManxMum · 19/10/2007 12:56

Nursey Jo - you're being too generous.

I would give notice on your place AND move back into DH's flat straight awa, throw BIL's stuff onto landing and tell him YOUR old flats available if he wants it>

(Sorry to rant, PMT )

Report

ruddynorah · 19/10/2007 12:56

so your bil, who is sub letting, wants to sub sub let?

you need to get him out and you all move back in.

Report

mixedmama · 19/10/2007 12:56

His bro is listed on the tenancy but is not the lead tenant. He wouldnt ask his brother to leave when we lived there as he said it is his home. I couldnt live with his brother or with his famiily so nearby which is a whole other issue and pushed to move as I felt sure the marriage would have fallen apart (a whole load of issues surrounding this). He caved in to move rather than askk his brother to move. Basically we have the short straw down the line.

I have been getting more insistent about giving the tenancy back as I hate the abuse of the system, esp since I have seen first hand how sometimes when you really need it you dont get it.

OP posts:
Report

MaryBleedinShelley · 19/10/2007 12:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ManxMum · 19/10/2007 13:00

Go to local authority and tell them you want to exchange your flat for another one, somewhere else.

They may allow your BIL to stay, depending on his circumstances, but I wouldn't hold my breath

Report

tortoiseSHELL · 19/10/2007 13:00

If it's local authority then it has been issued to someone for a specific need - if this is your dh, then your dh should be living there. There is no guarantee that if you were to cut the ties with this place that you would get another (and probably wouldn't in our area). If your BIL is part of the 'package' that was issued the flat then that is more difficult.

Your BIL definitely should not be considering letting out rooms, and if this were found out I think it would be your dh who would be in trouble - his is the name on the papers.

Report

mixedmama · 19/10/2007 13:00

I think I am seriously going to have a talk with DH this weekend about the living situation and DH is really worriied about finances.

We can move back that is fine (altho have been so happy since i have been back close to my family) but if we cant affoord it we cant afford it. He is just sooooo reluctant to get rid of BIL and now we have another baby on the way we really need the space.

FWIW I completely agree with all the comments about the council place.

OP posts:
Report

NurseyJo · 19/10/2007 13:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mixedmama · 19/10/2007 13:03

I realise we prob wouldnt get a place elsewhere but we may or may not be entitled to some sort of housing benefit on the current place. DH thinks the council will ask why we gave up a council place to rent privately and now need help to pay - but ii have good reasons for moving which i can cite, I just dont want to be part of this anymore.

OP posts:
Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?