To think DC has autism

[Pengu1ns99]

2 y/o ds, non verbal. Didn't show much interest in toys until a few months ago.

He has his 2 year health visitor check up soon.

Shows other various signs of autism in toddlers.

Flaps his hands/arms constantly, doesn't make too much eye contact but will make eye contact.
Quite fussy with foods especially if its a different texture from the usual.
Will not embrace the idea of using any cutlery either!

DH insists he is not autistic and doesn't want him to get "labeled" and face the difficulties that label holds.

I can sort of see what he means, but at the same time I want my little one to be able to get all the help and support he needs.

AIBU don't press for autism diagnosis

YANBU to at least mention it at the 2 year check up

I think you are directly asked about some of those traits, so does your Dh propose you lie?

Professionals tend not to diagnose autism at that age (some might do). It’s very hard to tell with a toddler. I would focus on lack of speech and push for hearing test asap, and refer To speech therapist. Once that’s in place, speech therapists can be very helpful in further diagnosis for things like dyspraxia or developmental delays, or autism. I think yabu, but not in a bad way. I would be concerned too but it’s important to not jump to conclusion too early.

Is mention it but you're unlikely to get anywhere at his age. My son was obviously autistic to me from age 1.5 but it took until he was nearly 5 before they even agreed to start an assessment.

As far as labelling goes, it's not a matter of that. A diagnosis can open doors to extra help and resources.

*I'd

My niece is almost 2, exactly same traits as your DC. Along with other traits such as will not engage in any play, loves placing things in order, cannot handle social settings and has a high pitched scream if she is overwhelmed.

Her nursery said that she can't be assessed until she starts school, no idea how any of it works tbh but I think YANBU to want to look into it further and make the best choices for your dc if an autism diagnosis is likely

We saw a health visitor last week for other dc and she questioned his arm waving

If he has autism then he has it whether you get a formal diagnosis or not. My son was diagnosed at 5 and it had only been beneficial for him. He has been able to get physio, occupational therapy and speech and language therapy. He is doing very well in mainstream school and enjoying life.

That said, many children the age of your son are fussy with food and don’t use cutlery etc.

Have a look at the mchat checklist for autism in toddlers
m-chat.org/en-us/page/take-m-chat-test/online

@Barbie222
Of course he doesn't suggest I lie, he just wants the diagnosis to happen without prompting

Without a diagnosis autistic people face greater difficulties. The earlier they are diagnosed the better.
Sounds like your DH is afraid.
I can't and wouldn't hazard a guess on if or any diagnosis is made for your dc.

My son was diagnosed aged 5 and it has meant that he has had access to the support he needs.

DH and other family members remain sceptical about his diagnosis. He is now 10 with full time 1:1 assistance at school.

I think DH just can't accept that his son isn't 'normal'. He loves DS and DS is an amazing child but DH just can't cope with it.

Without a label you won’t access support in the same way. He’ll get labelled instead as the ‘naughty child‘ at school, the child with behaviour problems. Having a diagnosis means school have to take it into account. He may get more time for exams, extra help, an education plan. Access to physio and OT, speech and language therapy.

You need to stop seeing a diagnosis as a negative thing and think about how it would help your child. If he’s autistic he’s autistic.

He’s also very young, being fussy with food and not using cutlery is not unusual at that age.

I wouldn’t press for ASD diagnosis as such but I would press for further services such as speech and language, as mentioned above. I would resist any suggestion of let’s see how he is in 6 months time as it will take that long for an appointment and if he’s chatting away by then fine.

Ask about some home play or strategies, start the ball rolling for early intervention. I think this lockdown has left many families and children isolated in their early years. Children don’t need to have ASD to benefit from intervention.

As for your DH, it’s not a label, it’s a diagnosis which can help access much needed support and services.

Your son will be so much better off if you fight his corner. SEN resources are scarce and you need to be pushing as hard as you can from day 1 to get even a small amount of support in my experience.

I meant to add most check ups for toddlers will have a basic list that may indicate asd and warrant further diagnostic testing.

You are unlikely to get him diagnosed at that age, you normally need it to be present in a few settings, so home and nursery, to get a referral.

Having said that, definitely get him a diagnosis. I have one older child where we were advised not to label them, and one much younger one where we were pushed to get a diagnosis and he has a lot of support, and the difference in the outcomes for them is likely to be worlds apart. It’s one of my biggest parenting regrets for my eldest. DC has not flourished and struggles with day to day life.

The hv won't diagnose autism, but can refer for an assessment with a paediatrician. Depending on what assessment tool they use, there should be a questionnaire for emotional and social development that they can give you if they're worried, thats usually the trigger for further referral.

A diagnosis will mean that if your child needs an ehcp when they start school, for example, the initial bit is done so you're that much further on than otherwise. It doesn't mean anything about your child changes, it doesn't mean medication will be pushed onto you. I do get why there can be reluctance for labels, but with Autism, a diagnosis should open doors for access to any support needed.

Bollocks they can and do assess at 2. Push for an assessment. They won't find something that isn't there. Brain plasticity matters. Early intervention is crucial.

I understand your husband’s concerns. However, rather than thinking of a diagnosis as a ‘label’, you could look at it as a lens through which others (and you) can try to understand your child (should it come to that in the future). You may find it easier to get the support that you need. Note that I say easier not easy though, unfortunately.

If your son is autistic then he will need help and you also to understand how to help him. Don't let your husband bury his head in the sand.

Dd got her diagnosis a week after her second birthday after being referred to a paediatrician at thirteen months. I can't think of one negative about her having a diagnosis, it has entitled her to support and ASD specific services that would have been denied without it.
OP be open with the HV, you need a hearing test and a referral to speech therapy at the very least.

If it's any help, DS1 was exhibiting quite distinct autism tendencies at 18-22 months.

These included:

Low eye-contact
Not readily responding to his name
Tip-toe walking
Lining up toys, crayons, cars, no brum-brum noise
Hand flapping

We saw a paediatrician privately (Oz) who said he was concerned, but not convinced. Wanted a 6mo review.

Interestingly, we were his last pt of the day. We were in the reception area sorting out the bill, when the doctor came out of his office, and instantly launched into
hide and seek with DS1, who laughed and ducked behind my legs, peering out, shrieking with merriment.

The paediatrician said it was the most encouraging encounter he'd had with DS.

Anyway, FF, DS now 21, no autistic traits at all.

But all those ducks were in a row at 18-24m! A lot of boxes ticked.

It would not have been the end of the world if he was autistic, in any sense, but we would have been better prepared.

Her nursery said that she can't be assessed until she starts school, no idea how any of it works tbh but I think YANBU to want to look into it further and make the best choices for your dc if an autism diagnosis is likely

That's rubbish, and not at all helpful for schools when a child turns up who obviously has additional needs, but nobody has picked it up, and as often happens nobody mentions anything to the school, so the they are totally unprepared.

I would go the medical, rather than educational route, for a pre-school child anyway, and get the GP to refer for investigation if needed.

FRT DH was quite resistant to 'diagnosis', too,til the paediatrician 'praised' me for putting 2 and 2 together.

They can access at two! Both of mine have autism. The youngest has been referred for initial assessment by a paediatrician at two and my four year old has had a diagnosis for a year this month. My four year olds initial assessment was just short of his third birthday and that was after a year of waiting to come to the top of the list.

Talk to the health visitor at the two year check. If she has concerns she should refer for an assessment with a paediatrician who will give you an idea of if he’s developing normally. If not they can get the ball rolling for assessment and diagnosis.

My son has support in school he wouldn’t have without diagnosis. It’s made a massive difference to his wellbeing and education.

I’m going to say what I always say when a parent asks me about asd diagnosis. Your child will be the same person with or without a diagnosis; nothing can change who they are. A diagnosis will make your child easier to understand and will open doors for them in an educational setting, but at age 2 it is a) very hard to tell, and b) you still have plenty of time to secure a diagnosis. I would also push for things like SLT.

I am the proud parent to a 6yo with Aspergers. At age 2 I don’t think it was on my radar at all. Possibly if pushed I might have been aware that he was different to some children and harder work, and that has been so clear since I had a second child. But mostly he’s just a really awesome child with a different way of looking at the world. He can be really hard work, especially since most of his issues are feelings related and can be hard to unpick, but he’s so funny and kind.