To think this isn’t the right foods to live on?

[KaleBeans]

DD is fairly young still (but old enough to choose what she’s eating since I’m not always seeing her all the time).

A typical day would be:

Breakfast: A banana, whole orange and mini cathedral city cheese.

Lunch: Jacket potato with butter and cheese. Or a tomato soup with slice of bread and butter. Or a ham sandwich with a pack of snapping Jacks and Kit Kat. On a Friday a portion of small chips.

Fruit: Whole pocket of pineapple fingers, sometimes x2. Watermelon. Half a cucumber. Celery stick with cream cheese. Smoothie.

Dinner: Often nothing. Sometimes pesto pasta with cheese.

Drinks at least 2 litres of ‘lemon infused’ water a day

This isn’t enough protein, is it?!

Adults can make there own choices and if she is not underweight then it is not too bad.

However what does she feed her child? Do they ever sit down as a family to eat together? As the child gets older they maybe need to think about more meals they can all share.

Your daughter must be pretty amazing to already have finished her studies while taking care of a baby. Give her the respect she deserves and mind your business. Make some vegan casseroles for the family if you’re that bothered.
Bfing a toddler is nothing like bfing a baby.

@KaleBeans

But the protein isn’t the issue. It’s a shortage of fresh fruit and veg that will (ultimately) make the difference between reasonably and very healthy.

I’m concerned about the veg but thought there was more than enough fruit there? It’s all she seems to eat when I see her

Yes there’s plenty of fruit there.

@SchrodingersImmigrant

The problem isn't her eating but her dynamics at home...

I'd tend to agree. I've lived with someone who monitored everything I ate (even checking the trash in the morning if I had a meal after he went to bed the night before) and it lead to some really unhealthy/rigid patterns and choices. If her husband is making her on edge and uneasy about food, tread lightly on the topic. Just make sure she knows you love her no matter what and steer clear of anything that might make her feel judged or shamed. She's so lucky to have you

@ScotchBunnet

If she’s having jacket potato at lunch, for example, she really doesn’t need another hot meal in the evening.

Typical mumsnet competitive under eating.

There are about 161 calories in a medium baked potato. Depending on what you have with it you might up that to what, 400 calories maybe? That’s less than a traditional chicken Caesar salad, about the same as a tin of Heinz tomato soup with a bagel.

Most adults would need a decent evening meal after a lunch like that. Whether or not it’s hot is irrelevant - the temperature of food does not determine its calorific or nutritional value.

Ffs stop it with that.

I’ve already addressed this. It is not competitive under eating to state that a jacket potato with trimmings at lunch time means you don’t necessarily have to eat another main meal at dinner time.

I’m as far away from under eating as it’s possible to get and I really resent your and others’ irritating assumptions otherwise.

@KaleBeans it would be great if she could add even a handful of different veg into her typical day’s foods. It would also be great if she could add more protein.

But maybe instead of talking with her about it constantly (because people can be very resistant to having their food intake monitored and discussed) just start to offer her more when she’s at yours. And as I said previously in the thread, if you’re getting the sense that she needs support at home or about her relationship dynamics, please do focus on addressing that. it is really hard when your children become adults and you have to try to help them in a different way than you did when they were children.

@KaleBeans

She’s 22. We’re very close. I’m a bit concerned for her eating habits. Have explained this to her and she hasn’t told me to back off, just wondered what to do as she says she’s happy

She will eat salmon with lemon for dinner if she comes for tea though, or mackerel, anything like that etc

I thought you were going to say she was 6!!

I think you need to let her get on with it. It’s very carby with very little of nutritional value but she’s not a child and I don’t see how you can influence her to eat differently.

Shes 22... not a child!
Leave her alone, it's not awful what she is eating ,
You sound really controlling to know every item she eats!

@KaleBeans

Sidge it isn’t artificial, just sliced lemon in plain water with ice

Well, after 2 litres a day she won't have any teeth left. Do you know how damaging lemon or any fruit juice is to your teeth?

@KaleBeans

She’s a nurse and also breastfeeding so I didn’t think it to be enough at all. She’s still like a little girl in my eyes so I worry sometimes didn’t want to say her she at the start of thread as I know loads of people would tell me to keep out entirely etc

Just seen this. Jesus talk about a helicopter parent!!!

Shes a 22 year old mother. Leave her alone!

I think there are 2 different issues here.

Her diet is ok. Not brilliant, but ok.

The problem ends there IF IT IS HER CHOICE.

It sounds to me like you are more worried (or your should be) about her partner and possibly controlling behaviour.

She’s a nurse

This is an important aspect. Is she typically working three 13hr shifts per week?

It can be quite challenging to motivate yourself to eat healthier meals, plus the time to prepare, plus the actual time to eat during a shift.

I'm reflecting on my own eating habits, which are quite similar to your daughter's minus the water. I don't get chance to drink that much during a shift. I very often don't eat an evening meal after a long day, when I get home I wash my uniform have a shower, do some chores then bed.

She could probably do with eating more protein & vegetables.

Just sharing another perspective.

Surely if she's a healthy weight and eating enough to keep her going through her long nursing shifts and run around after a toddler, there's nothing to worry about? Her diet is a lot healthier than many peoples'.

The protein needed is lot less than people believe unless she's a competitive body builder and maybe she eats enough in the daytime so she's not hungry for dinner. After all, the convention to eat little or nothing all day in anticipation of a big dinner makes little sense for a lot of people.

Having water with sliced lemon in it will literally dissolve your teeth?
That diet contains no vegetables?
Days like this I think I live on another planet.

At 22 I think you need to let her be. She is an adult and many eat worse than this.

@StealthPolarBear

Having water with sliced lemon in it will literally dissolve your teeth? That diet contains no vegetables? Days like this I think I live on another planet.

Nothing like a good MNet hysterical food thread. This one has it all.

Not enough protein. Fruit is full of sugar. Too carby. No nutritional value . She must be being abused by her DH. A 22 YO being treated like a child, despite being married, and a mother.

Celery is absolutely full of sugar. She might as well be scoffing haribo.

When I read the inital post, I thought it was for a child.

No it's not enough, it sounds like somebody with problems around food. How is it OK to go from lunch time to 8 am ( guess) with nothing?

Waits to be attacked now.......

How can people think that eating 1000 or less calories a day whilst breastfeeding is normal????

Who says that's all she's eating?

The OP gives no indication about portion sizes. Pesto pasta and jacket potato with butter and cheese could easily both be quite calorific unless the portion is very small and there's the Greek yogurt that she adds to the original list.

Plus presumably the OP doesn't follow the DD round while she's at work and an oft heard complaint about hospital staff is that there's endless snacks available like biscuits which, while unhealthy, will certainly rack up the calories.

If the DD is truly eating under 1000 calories a day on average, while breastfeeding and working as a nurse, she's going to be very thin and unhealthy looking, which the OP hasn't actually said anything about, just that from the snapshot she sees, she doesn't think she's eating properly.

@TacoLover

How can people think that eating 1000 or less calories a day whilst breastfeeding is normal????

I think most of us simply assumed that as OP isn't with the daughter at all times she doesn't have the full picture. I am close to my mum but no way she could say what and how much of I've eaten🤷🏻 My husband who lives with me couldn't say that either.

Also omelettes, OP. If she doesn't feel like cooking when she gets home, an omelette takes 5 mins.

How do you know what she's eating when she's not with not with you? She could be munching her way through a packet of biscuits while she sits breastfeeding. I wouldn't worry as she's likely eating all kinds of things you don't know about.

In general I'd stay right out of it. She's a grown woman. In your early 20s a lot of people's diets would look a bit rubbish written down in the form of a list. I used to work in bars and clubs and get through 4 or 5 bags of crisps on a long shift and no dinner at that age. Would look absolutely dreadful written down and dissected on MN. There was nothing wrong with me though - I was just 20 and not giving food any thought.

@StealthPolarBear

Celery is absolutely full of sugar. She might as well be scoffing haribo.

There are folk I know who drink nothing but Irn Bru. Ever. I know someone else who never eats vegetables or fruit in any form and openly admits it. I should get them to post here. Then a slim nurse who sometimes skips a meal and likes a slice of lemon in her water won't be treated like some sort of nutritional antichrist.

@StealthPolarBear

Celery is absolutely full of sugar. She might as well be scoffing haribo.

I almost thought this was a genuine post - until I saw who posted it!