To think this isn’t the right foods to live on?

[KaleBeans]

DD is fairly young still (but old enough to choose what she’s eating since I’m not always seeing her all the time).

A typical day would be:

Breakfast: A banana, whole orange and mini cathedral city cheese.

Lunch: Jacket potato with butter and cheese. Or a tomato soup with slice of bread and butter. Or a ham sandwich with a pack of snapping Jacks and Kit Kat. On a Friday a portion of small chips.

Fruit: Whole pocket of pineapple fingers, sometimes x2. Watermelon. Half a cucumber. Celery stick with cream cheese. Smoothie.

Dinner: Often nothing. Sometimes pesto pasta with cheese.

Drinks at least 2 litres of ‘lemon infused’ water a day

This isn’t enough protein, is it?!

I’d be most concerned about the possibility that her DP is being off with her about her eating meat and/or animal products. If she’s limiting what she eats because he doesn’t approve then that’s no good at all. Similarly if this is a new thing and she’s severely restricting compared to how she used to eat then it could be a marker of something else like anxiety, pnd, or indeed indicate the beginnings of disordered eating.

Does she like eggs? They’re a great source of protein and good fats.

If her child isn’t breastfeeding much anymore then her calorie intake need won’t be as high, so it’s not as concerning as if she was breastfeeding full time.

I get that you’re concerned and I do agree that she should be having more protein and veg, but she is an adult and it’s for her to manage her own eating. You can advise of course, but you can’t really do more than that. If you’re actually more concerned about her relationship (I may be misinterpreting but I thought I got a hint reading between the lines), then I’d say support her by encouraging her to find her own strength and resources to hold her own, and try not to make it too much about the food.

Some people just are very fussy, or don’t like many different foods, or tend to stick to a fairly rigid routine with foods. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’re going to be severely malnourished. Remember also that if she’s small, her calorie needs will be markedly less than someone taller with more weight on them.

www.nutrition.org.uk/nutritionscience/nutrients-food-and-ingredients/protein.html?start=2
according to this 45g protein a day is enough when not breastfeeding but more needed when breastfeeding.
A mini cheddar has about 5g protein? A plain ham sandwich from a supermarket has maybe about 15g of protein. So she sounds quite short on protein as well as other nutrients when you add it all up.
Lemon water made with cold water doesn't destroy teeth as quickly as hot does but still is not a good choice longterm as it will destroy the enamel.
It must be hard for you OP to watch this and not be able to help.

22?!
Bloomin' eck, she's an adult - leave her alone to make her own food choices?!
When you said quite young I was thinking school age lol

Protein in snacks like packets of nuts & seeds & trail mix would be good.

Are you worried about her weight OP? I ate more than that when I was severely underweight with anorexia. Most of the foods you’ve listed were my ‘safe’ foods. Low fat, carb or calorie and easy to portion/comes in a standard portion every time.

When she has fish for dinner would she have anything else with it? She could be drinking water to stay healthy or she could be trying to suppress her appetite. Only she will know that.

If you’re concerned try to support her and be there to listen to her without confrontation. I was hospitalised at 19, 20 and 22. Had my parents ignored the warning signs I’d most likely be dead. Your DD is definitely not too old for you to care about her wellbeing.

There's hardly any veg or protein there. Track it on something like MyFitnessPal, it will flag up nutritional deficiencies (of which i think there are many). It's a really unhealthy diet.

Yes, nuts, seeds, avocado, eggs, turkey or chicken breast slices instead of ham - all easy ways to add more protein. Also houmous and crudités is good for easy and quick eating. She might just feel too busy/tired/stressed with work and baby to spend much time thinking about what to eat &/or preparing it.

But if she just prefers to eat the way she eats, that’s also her prerogative. Maybe try to get extra meat, fish & veg into her when she visits with you?

If it’s any consolation my daughter was quite a fussy eater as an older teenager/young adult but now she’s in her mid twenties she eats pretty much everything and has a good, well balanced diet.

The lemon infused water will rot her teeth. I think that is otherwise ok but could do with another protein source.

Her teeth, her poor poor teeth. Drinking lemon water all day and that citrus fruit will be absolutely killing her teeth

Sounds like you are worried she is not eating dinner as OH is vegan and judging her eating meat/dairy? Greek yoghurt is protein and filling and she’s having that most days you say. Her meals sound ok not much veg but not terrible. It’s more her pattern of eating that’s not norm. Could it be related to shifts worked? Is she very thin or having health issues? What you’re saying she’s eating doesn’t sound odd if it’s written differently eg if she on a 6-2 shift I can understand her wanting a quick on go breakfast of fruit and cheese. Snack at work. Then main meal say 3pm ish after work - baked potato etc. Then probably not hungry for dinner as had late lunch/tired so has a smoothie or Greek yoghurt then early to bed before getting up at 4.30am for work. It all depends on context.

I'd say given she's not eating tons during the day, but enough, the biggest issue is the lack of dinner. It's a long time between meals.

Is she feeding baby to sleep when she'd normally cook dinner and then is tidying up and then it's too late to eat?

I think ultimately she's an adult, married, mother so there's little you can do besides keep communication open, have her round for tea occasionally, maybe be offer to send leftovers home with her, and don't push

Oh ffs. You know that isn't bad.

If she had a meal for tea it would be fine. It's all good food, just she maybe needs a salad and chicken or chilli or something for tea.

Otherwise I'd say she needs to swap some fruit for veg (sliced red pepper, cucumber, kale).

I'm vegan (sometimes slip into vegetarian) and if he's making her feel bad about her food she needs to tell him to back the fuck off. His diet choices do not eclipse hers.

@DownUdderer

Lemon water daily will eat up her teeth enamel.

I was also thinking this. Too much acid!

I did ask if she drinks milk; milk is a food. A bit more cheese than the tiny bit for breakfast would help as would the occasional egg.

What about tomatoes, does she like those?

It does seem odd not having any dinner, most people would be hungry at that time.

I wonder if she is watching her weight.

She eats like a toddler. I'd be starving on that.

Needs more veg

Seems ok to me. Plenty of protein in cheese.

@gobbynorthernbird it won't let me quote you but I posted that before I read the daughter is 22, I agree with you in light of that, if she doesn't want dinner that's her choice.

She’s 22, not 5. Goodness me.

But the protein isn’t the issue. It’s a shortage of fresh fruit and veg that will (ultimately) make the difference between reasonably and very healthy.

As she eats cheese with nearly every meal, she’ll be getting plenty of protein.

The lack of dinner is an issue. Would she eat a larger meal at lunch to ensure she’s getting enough calories and some more veggies, then a sandwich or similar in the evening?

Oh sorry, I assumed she was a child - different advice for an adult!

It’s not a lot of food but depends a bit on how tall / large she is, activity levels etc. I can see why you have concerns.

To be fair (although I think she’s old enough to choose her own diet) it wasn’t until I was about 30 that I really worked out how to make a balanced meal. There was lot of pesto pasta and cheese before that 😂

Last night we had garlic and lemon salmon, with roasted tomatoes, asparagus and broccoli, and a small number of new potatoes.

But eating as above is a lot more expensive than pesto pasta!