Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

13yo not allowed GTA. Aibu?

118 replies

Raaarrrrrrrr · 23/11/2020 20:25

Hello all. Son, 13 last week, wants to play Grand Theft Auto. His older brother has never been allowed it.

He thinks we are the worst parents in the world. AAALLLLLLLLL his other friends are allowed it.

TBH I only know what they say, prostitutes, drug deals etc, I've never looked into it more than that.

AIBU to say absolutely not?

I'm open to views...

TIA

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 23/12/2020 14:46

Let him have it if his friends have. Don't be that parent.

Nodancingshoes · 23/12/2020 14:57

My two boys are not allowed to have this game. I am pretty relaxed about gaming - they do play shooting games but I have drawn a line at GTA. All their friends have it apparently but I have remained unmoved... Lots of door slamming here aswell!

PizzaForOne · 23/12/2020 15:03

I played GTA from 9 years old did me no harm. Same with watching a load of 12, 15 and 18 rated movies. I knew about sex and understood I shouldn't swear or be a criminal/murderer.

MeringueCloud · 23/12/2020 15:35

@PizzaForOne

I played GTA from 9 years old did me no harm. Same with watching a load of 12, 15 and 18 rated movies. I knew about sex and understood I shouldn't swear or be a criminal/murderer.
The harm it did you is (possibly) that you feel that it didn't cause you any harm.
Feckmesideways · 23/12/2020 16:03

I’ve played all the GTA’s. Earlier ones as a teen myself (parents were naive and had no idea of the content, and I’ve played GTA 5 as an adult. No way would I let my Ds13 play GTA especially GTA5 (which he has asked me numerous times), I told him to ask me again when he’s 17.

Honestly some of the missions have quite disturbing content even for an adult, you really need to play it yourself to understand, GTA5 is in a completely different league to the previous versions. It isn’t just running about shooting or driving!

Feckmesideways · 23/12/2020 16:06

And FYI @Viviennemary I am not “that parent”. I am actually quite a chilled out parent. But I have played the game from start to finish and know the content!

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 23/12/2020 16:07

"Let him have it if his friends have. Don't be that parent."

Ridiculous. Your job is to be that parent, if circumstances demand it.

FWIW We have a fairly permissive and easy going household, our kids are not wrapped in cotton wool, and there is no way my 16 year old is having GTA.

Vindo · 23/12/2020 16:09

I'd let some things slide a bit early, but not GTA. I've played them myself and they are a bit much. I'd try and find another game their friends and playing and get it for him though so he's not left out. Call of duty or something maybe?

lazyarse123 · 23/12/2020 16:10

@Viviennemary

Let him have it if his friends have. Don't be that parent.
What if they're allowed to smoke and drink should she allow that too? Who cares if others think she's "that parent" we all parent our kids according to our own values.
Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 23/12/2020 16:12

It's not about the ratings, for me, or even about the fear they would model the behaviours, but the attitudes embedded in the design of what it is, and puts you into the first person, and alone, in that. It's fundamentally nasty and misogynistic and therefore it is just not suitable for very young people.

Ingvermama · 23/12/2020 16:12

Yes I have a 13 year old who wants this game. I've said not in my house as it's anti women. All his friends have it and some of them are only 12, so it's annoying they have been given something that now puts pressure on other parents.

Bumpsadaisie · 23/12/2020 16:16

I am quite relaxed about shooting and swearing and blood. But I just draw the line at GTA (only DH and I allowed to play that - I thoroughly love being a gangster but wouldn't let my kids on it until maybe 15/16?)

Maria1990 · 23/12/2020 16:42

I remember selling GTA 4 at Christmas time to parents who were obviously getting it for their 11-15 year olds. It was a really mixed bag, most kids play it, are fine with it and don't really 'get' the worse elements of it like prostitution/torture. Almost everyone in my class owned it and played it. Some kids didn't get it. Now the interesting part is of course we always questioned whether it was for their excited child who was obviously underage and they'd deny it. Then come Boxing Day or the day after they'd be returning it - mortified at the content. One's child was traumatised, another burst into tears, Christmasses ruined etc. etc. I'd say give it to a 14 year old if they're mature and regularly play other video games. If they aren't a gamer, I wouldn't give it to anyone. It's not a game to be played for the story, it's about the driving around with your mates and doing stupid stuff in online mode tbh. There aren't many top games out this year sadly, the best are probably COD or CSGO or PUBG if they're an FPS gamer and you don't want the bad content of GTAV. Also, GTAV is really suffering from cheats and hackers, so the online mode is kinda sucky. You could always get them something else and tell them they can play GTA at their friend's so why would they need their own or something. Red Dead Redemption 2 is similar to GTA but without the 18 rated content (it does have an 18 stamp but it has been rated by other parents as 10-13 suitable), and it has horses not cars but otherwise, top rated, huge and beautiful open world, co-op and pvp online modes. It does involve a gang but in a Wild West setting, so much less realistic (like a western movie). You can choose to be good or bad. There is some swearing but not excessive. There's no nudity and only one scene where a fully clothed girl asks if you want help washing, which you can decline but if you accept, she will help you to wash... fully clothed and no funny business 😅. It's probably one of the best compromises because it's an 18, and he can actually brag to all his sheep friends that he has a cooler game and can play GTA with his mates and their 'super cool' 😑 parents when he visits. Red dead is also a much better video game gameplay wise as it has a whole survival mechanism and crafting etc. Much more fun, like a 'grown up' version of Zelda Breath of the Wild.

sassbott · 23/12/2020 16:48

No. I’ve played it, I game. Not a chance. 16 minimum.

christmasathomeagain · 23/12/2020 17:24

13 year old ds here and he isn't allowed it either!

He does play battlefront which is a 16. Not my choice, dh started playing it with him.

Gta is not suitable for younger children at all!

NiceandCalm · 23/12/2020 18:27

I am going to seem like the worst Mum in the world but I let my son play it on mute when he was in junior school. It came with an Ebay purchase of a 2nd hand Xbox. I thought the 18 was because of the swearing and obviously the shooting. My DS loved shooting. A couple of days later he was playing Minecraft and excitedly called me in to show me the brothel he'd built!! He had no idea what it was, except a place for ladies. He was never allowed to play it again. I'm horrified looking back. WTF was I thinking! Anyway, he quickly forgot it and no lasting harm.

Rudolph98 · 23/12/2020 18:29

Probably be flamed but my brother was playing it at that age, probably younger. Hasn’t turned him into a monster. Not saying it’s right or you should though...

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 23/12/2020 18:34

My sisters daughter came home from school saying all her peers had iPads & were going on tiktok, she was left out, etc.

A few phone calls round some parents revealed that only 2 had their own and one of those was a child with SEN who used it only for a specific learning need. None was allowed to go on tiktok.

Children fib. They know its "cool" to be into the things older siblings or cousins are into and will say anything to impress peers. If all parents agree not to crack on this stuff it can be held off far longer.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page