13yo not allowed GTA. Aibu?

[Raaarrrrrrrr]

Hello all. Son, 13 last week, wants to play Grand Theft Auto. His older brother has never been allowed it.

He thinks we are the worst parents in the world. AAALLLLLLLLL his other friends are allowed it.

TBH I only know what they say, prostitutes, drug deals etc, I've never looked into it more than that.

AIBU to say absolutely not?

I'm open to views...

TIA

Thank you all. You are all coming from the same place as me (but you're more knowledgeable). DH says, "But all his friends are playing it!" Would he say that if they were all smoking, I wonder?

It's hard as his mates (closest) are playing it. Their parents have apparently sat and played it with them (there you go, better than us there, too!) and think it's ok.
I'd want more evidence than the mere word of a teenager. GTA V isn't even splitscreen so I don't know how his friends' parents are playing it alongside them...

It'd be a no from me. I honestly couldn't give a shit what other idiots parents allow. My mum was exactly the same. I didn't die from not doing exactly the same as my friends!

www.igdb.com has parental guides to help people decide whether it's suitable.

For GTA 5 it's www.igdb.com/games/grand-theft-auto-v/age_rating

Doesn't seem suitable for a 13yr old to me.

Ds is 25, still lives with us, and I will not have GTA in my house, so if he ever played it, it was at uni (and I don't think he was that bothered as it wasn't his sort of game).

THis is one of those wonderful times when you can invoke being "BORING!!!!!" because you are following the rules. When he is 18 he can play it as much as he likes.

I let the kids watch/play stuff under the recommended age sometimes, but only when I have watched/played it first. GTA would be on the NO list straight away.

I would say that the parents who have played it with the kids are the dads (yes, sexist but I betcha) who see no problem with it as they are able to see the difference between a game and reality so ignore the less palatable stuff. Obviously totally forgetting that kids do not have that ability.

I would be interested to know how many of these kids mums actually know what the kids are seeing when they play this game. I thought everyone knew what a horrible game it is, until my friend mentioned her son (7!) wanted to play it as his friend did. I think my horrified expresssion said it all. Once she checked it out it was a straight NO! I think she assumed that no parent would allow a child to play an unsuitable game, but she learned that not everyone gives as much of a shit as she does.

DS (12) asked for it as some of his friends had it.
A very long and boring lecture about the prostitution, it's impact on women, etc etc and DS was just happy to escape when I finally finished.
I've never heard anymore about him wanting it.

I'm probably going to get flamed for this but my 13 year old plays it. He has 2 older brothers aged 20 and 24 and 2 sisters aged 22 and 18. All the dcs have had Xboxes and PlayStations all their lives. Ds used to share a room with one of his brothers and it became impossible to watch what he was playing 24/7. When I find out, he had already been playing it for ages so it seemed more sensible to have a good open chat about the adult stuff on it than to ban it at that point, especially when his cousins aged 18 and 16 had also played it with him. He is very very streetwise because of having so many older brothers sisters and cousins though

I love GTA but it's definitely not suitable for a13 year old!

I've said this on here to many other parents.
YOU are the parent.
YOU are in charge.
YOU say no.
End of

@thegcatsmother

That’s a bit extreme.

Are there no movies or shows with adult content allowed in your house too?

I would t let DS at 13 when all his mates had it. By 15 he had played it everywhere else so I gave in! He hardly plays it.

@somelikeithot I didn't ask for advice in parenting, thanks. I'm a pretty firm but fair parent. I was asking to see if it was as bad as I thought it was. It looks like it is so no, he won't be having it (he wasn't anyway, but nice to know others think like me).

Thank you to everyone who took the time to answer.

Meh. I played it when I was 14.
Didn't phase me in the slightest.
You'd hope at 13 he'd have the basic understanding to realise it's just a game, and not a reflection on what he should be doing irl!

@PaddyF0dder

Hardly extreme; my house, my rules.

I am not particularly enamoured by the glamorisation of torture, drug dealing, prostitution etc, so saw no reason why my electricity should be expended in allowing ds to play it when he was younger. I was always strict on him playing age appropriate games, and discussing with him why stuff wasn't suitable.

I didn't give a shit what he told me his mates were allowed to do; dealing with teenagers had been the day job, so I took everything with a very large pinch of salt.

I noted that behaviour got worse in proportion to the amount of screen time, so it was limited severely at times until that improved. I can't see that having GTA would have helped.

I started a thread about the very same thing so I'm really pleased I've spotted this!! Ds in year 7 and while settling in well so far touch wood etc he feels left out as his friend's play it, including g hus friend from primary, so he isn't playing with them. Onli e, which is the main contact during lick down and our current isolation period from school!

I said no but feel awful as ds says he is left out. Arghh... I never thought I would say this but roll on adulthood!

GTA V has implied male rape, genital torture & brain matter on boots...all surrounding one character. Not suitable for 13. I personally love the game, despite what I've mentioned would let a 15/16 year old play maybe...if fairly mature

My dss is 16 nearly 17 and plays it and he has said absolutely no way should a 13 year old play it.

There is a new COD game out which dss loves and that could be a good compromise

@blackkitty1234

Nope. My husband works for Rockstar. He was involved in making GTA and Red Dead. He says it's an eighteen for a good reason. He would maybe let a fifteen year old if there were mature otherwise no way. Yanbu.

My brother works for them too and says the same thing (and if you're my SIL then hi!) DD was wanting to play, again because "everyone else was" but we said no. I think her dad let her play it at times when she was at his though.

Im a gamer myself but it's defo inappropriate for under 18. I let mine play but only whilst I'm in the room to avoid him doing certain tasks such as going in to the strip club. It's such a shame as it really is a fantastic game and all my son want to do is drive about and explore. BUT without supervision there's no way it allowed him to play it unfortunately.

I've name changed as I don't make a habit of revealing my age on MN, but I played it on Xbox when it came out (I think I was 10 /11ish). It depends on your child's maturity and if he can distinguish fantasy from reality.

Also (IIRC) average first experience of porn is 12, so whether you let him play the game or not the conversation surrounding adult topics is still important.

I enjoy the game it's really well made, but it is for mature audiences.

It's very satirical/over the top slant that might not be understood by youngsters. Characters are often caricatures/meta. I don't think it glamorises the subject from my POV, but can't speak for those under age.

Has the N word a lot, as far as I remember mainly used between black characters.

One of the characters you play is a psychopath. All characters are violent.

There are prostitutes in the game, you don't need to engage with them to complete the game, but it's one aspect I dislike. There is a strip club in the game.

Red dead redemption is also violent, but I think has better representation of women, and would be a better choice if you would allow them to watch a 15 movie I don't think it's worse than that.

I refuse to have the game in the house. Ds1(20) has played it while at university but respects our rules and doesn't while he's home.
No way would I have let my dc play it at that age.

@chickenchowmeins

I've name changed as I don't make a habit of revealing my age on MN, but I played it on Xbox when it came out (I think I was 10 /11ish). It depends on your child's maturity and if he can distinguish fantasy from reality.

Also (IIRC) average first experience of porn is 12, so whether you let him play the game or not the conversation surrounding adult topics is still important.

I agree with the fact that discussing those 'adults' subjects are important. Its pron but not pron imo.

I disagree that some children will be mature enough to deal with it.
I know ds2 would probably be 'mature enough' (when he was 10yo) to cope. In that his reactions to anything like this was to laugh and take the mick. Yes even with downright scary films etc... It's all fantaisy etc...
But what he wouldn't have been mature enough for is to be able to not absorb some of the values that are intrisic to the game. What happened to porostitues, how are they portrayed? Who are the 'baddies', their skin colour etc...? It's normalizing a lot of things (the same way that porn is normalising certain sex behaviours) and because of that, isn't suitable for a young audience.

When I was a kid and trotted out that everyone else did xyz my parents' response was, "well, if they jumped over a cliff, would you want to do that too?"

If you don't think it's appropriate then that's fine, as long as you're explaining why to your DC. Of course, it is possible that at some point they might play it at a friend's house, and there isn't much you can do about that, but unfortunately, 'forbidden fruit' is always more appealing.