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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

13yo not allowed GTA. Aibu?

118 replies

Raaarrrrrrrr · 23/11/2020 20:25

Hello all. Son, 13 last week, wants to play Grand Theft Auto. His older brother has never been allowed it.

He thinks we are the worst parents in the world. AAALLLLLLLLL his other friends are allowed it.

TBH I only know what they say, prostitutes, drug deals etc, I've never looked into it more than that.

AIBU to say absolutely not?

I'm open to views...

TIA

OP posts:
CatteStreet · 24/11/2020 13:27

We go by age ratings here, with exceptions discussed and considered on a case-by-case basis (and refused as often as not). So that would be an easy no for me - but I already made clear some time ago that GTA would not be entering this house and they could play it when they moved out.

GrishainDisguise · 24/11/2020 13:30

DS (12) is not allowed and he knows it. I told him that it is not about the age rating, but the misogyny and rape.

Yesyoudoknowme · 24/11/2020 13:34

OMG my youngest DS is now 25 and we had EXACTLY this scenario when he was 13. Weirdly enough we never gave in and he did forgive us. But ALL his friends were allowed to play it... stand your ground...

needsahouseboy · 25/11/2020 09:16

My DS just turned 11 has friends that play this game. I was totally shocked as the ones playing it tend to be on the younger side of 10-11 and a few a total bullies. No surprise really.
My DS refuses to play it around there houses as he’s not old enough and knows it’s totally inappropriate.
I don’t think all kids are playing it but I expect some are. I will not be letting mine play this game it’s bloody awful.

Crumbleandcake · 25/11/2020 09:22

The content is not at all suitable for a 13 year old. For example, there are scenes where you torture another human and you are the torturer, you pick the instruments used etc. It would be really inappropriate to let a 13 year old play imo

That content isn't suitable for a "game" full stop is it.

I'm quite liberal (believe we should take very openly about sex to normalise it, don't understand prudishness about bodies, smear tests etc. kids should use knives to chop veg, be allowed to put logs on in stove....)

But games with left, prostitution andtorture just makes me question who is wanting to play that.

PaddyF0dder · 25/11/2020 11:00

@Crumbleandcake

Is torture suitable for a movie or tv show?

Gobbycop · 25/11/2020 11:05

I think some 18 ratings are a bit overboard on occasions.

Not on this one.

thegcatsmother · 25/11/2020 12:59

@PaddyF0dder

I don't tend to watch stuff with torture in it; it isn't compulsory to watch it, just as it isn't compulsory to allow GTA to be played in my house where ds doesn't pay the bills.

I wouldn't advocate for the making of snuff movies either, nor them being shown on TV. Just because the content is out there, doesn't mean one has to engage with it.

Yummymummy2020 · 25/11/2020 13:21

I’m a total hypocrite. I played it as a teen and as an adult now I don’t want my kid playing it, it is quite violent really and the whole prostitute thing ect. I don’t think it harmed me, but I still wouldn’t feel right agreeing to it! That said, my child isn’t 13 so I’m not sure how I will feel then if there is something similar out. A lot of children are playing it online and it seems to be almost a social thing for teens now!

CockleburIck · 25/11/2020 13:59

I wouldn't advocate for the making of snuff movies either, nor them being shown on TV.

You wouldn't advocate for the commission and filming of an actual murder? Um... well done? I'm not sure sure that type of film is really 'out there'.... unless you really look hard, and in some very dubious places.

Not sure what that has to do with a bestselling, legal video game which depicts nothing real.

SomelikeitHoth · 25/11/2020 14:10

My son is one of the few who is not allowed GTA /COD/ horror games in Year 10 . Some of the children who play it are high achievers with good behaviour but I know my son cannot handle it

Poxital · 23/12/2020 12:06

My concern is the incitement of terror in the populace.

The continual screaming and panic in the populace - and striking people with pipes, wrenches etc.

Very concerned for my ds of 15 yrs.

But we live in the time of covid - so perhaps playing with his friends is more important?

Ericaequites · 23/12/2020 12:26

It’s unsuitable and inappropriate for everyone.

ittakes2 · 23/12/2020 12:28

My son says that all the time. It will blow over. My son is 14 and we let him play and watch 15s but anything 18 he now does not even bother to ask anymore as he knows it will be no.

CakeRequired · 23/12/2020 12:28

It's 18 for a reason. I'd question the parenting of anyone who let their kid of 13 play it.

cologne4711 · 23/12/2020 12:39

All his parents' friends won't be allowing it, and it's an 18 rating for a reason.

I told my son I wouldn't have it in the house. He did secretly download it when he was about 16.5 - I found out and told him I was disappointed and then he said it was rubbish anyway. As far as I know, he doesn't actually play it (and he's 18 now).

I have been a very lax mother in some ways, but not that way. 18 means 18.

Scottishshopaholic · 23/12/2020 13:21

I played GTA when I was younger than 12 with older cousins etc. I’d say I even enjoy playing it now (not regularly, but if I was spending time with my brother etc).

I’m a fully functioning adult with a job and I don’t have tendencies to attack people on the street, hijack cars or start drug dealing.

I can understand what people are saying about not wanting to expose their children to that sort of thing, but the content is really no worse than what you would see in a lot of films they’ll probably have access to. Yes you’ll maybe be able to control what they are watching at home, but they’ll have numerous opportunities to watch/play at friends houses.

They are going to go into the big bad world at some point. This isn’t a sweeping generalisation, but a guy I stayed in halls with at uni for the first year had parents who were very strict on things like age ratings for games and alcohol etc. He literally spent the first term of uni in his room playing GTA and drinking. He struggled to make friends cause he was kind of late to the party after he got all the things he wasn’t allowed to do out of his system. He dropped out half way through second year.

MeringueCloud · 23/12/2020 13:55

They are going to go into the big bad world at some point.
So we might as well let them know how bad the world is while they still children? Perhaps we should try to change the world instead of accepting it? Not to encourage torture, violence and prostitution?

user1492809438 · 23/12/2020 14:08

My son aged 13 acquired a copy of GTA. It went missing...I honestly didn't know where it was , because after the bin men had been, goodness knows which landfill site it ended up in!
It is an 18 for a reason, it's inappropriate for a teen.

MrsGulDukat · 23/12/2020 14:09

I've played all the GTA's and no way in hell would I let 13 year old DD play the later ones.

There were moments in the newest that made me wince.

Scottishshopaholic · 23/12/2020 14:12

If they can handle it yes. In the words of what a PP said, other kids her sons age who play it are high achievers, but she feels he son wouldn’t be able to handle it, that’s an assessment they have made on their child’s maturity levels.

As parents you know what your child best and what they’ll be able to handle. Is there really going to be much of a difference between how playing gta could affect a 15 yr old and an 18yr old? In some cases there is a massive difference in levels of maturity in these ages. Hence why I am saying it should a parent’s decision, rather than just banning everything out right until they are 18.

I understand your point about the themes with in the game. However there is a massive market for games like this and hundreds of thousands of people enjoy them for different reasons. I really don’t see them going anywhere anytime soon.

RozHuntleysStump · 23/12/2020 14:13

I let my lads play it. They are still law abiding good citizens.

Scottishshopaholic · 23/12/2020 14:14

@MeringueCloud

They are going to go into the big bad world at some point. So we might as well let them know how bad the world is while they still children? Perhaps we should try to change the world instead of accepting it? Not to encourage torture, violence and prostitution?
Above was in reply to this sorry.
safariboot · 23/12/2020 14:14

It's 18 for a reason. Tell him that by nagging and moaning he's proved he's not mature enough!

I played them underage, but not at 13. And from the descriptions above, the PS2 era wasn't quite as severe as the latest ones.

SweetPetrichor · 23/12/2020 14:43

I wouldn’t let a teen play GTA until they were around 16. I know it’s an 18 but games can be a bit over labelled. I think a 16 year old would be okay, but absolutely not for a 13 year old!
It’s a pity...most of the best Xbox/PlayStation games are rated 18. I just looked through ours and there’s very few that aren’t. Currently playing AC Valhalla and even that’s an 18! Thankfully we’re two 31 year olds so no age rating concerns!