To ask what the position is with taking babies home from hospital?

[scoopingthewater]

Do you need a car seat? What if you don’t drive?

I’m sure there’s variation between hospitals so there will be variation in the replies on this thread. Might be safest to call your hospital to ask.

We drove home so had a car seat and our midwife discharging us checked we had a suitable car seat before we left Others I know got a taxi and also bought a car seat for the taxi ride.

Good luck with the safe arrival of your baby.

@Couchbettato

It would have been the world's end for us because we were backwards and forwards in an Uber for the first few months due to water infections and meningitis.

Absolutely in no world would I have travelled in a taxi without a car seat even though it's legal because you don't know which idiots are on the road that day.

So even if you don't drive (like us) then yes you still do need a car seat.

If I didn't have one when my son needed hospitalisation then no one would have known he had meningitis until it became an ambulance issue where it could have been a lot more serious.

Plus, how would I ever have gone to a super market?

Many times I went to the supermarket without a car seat when we were in London. I just walked to it with the baby in the pram and went in. Shopping was easily wheeled home in the basket underneath. I just made sure I wasn't buying too much at any given time.

I missed having a pram or pushchair once my children had outgrown them because they were so useful for carrying some fairly heavy stuff. I did get a car once we had moved out of London to somewhere where I actually needed one. DH did have a company car for a while when we lived in London but we really only used it to go on long distance trips to visit our respective parents.

Plus, how would I ever have gone to a super market?

Walking or by bus...? I drive but when DS was a baby we had a supermarket a ten minute walk away so I always used to walk there.

Plus, how would I ever have gone to a super market?

We never owned a car, didn’t have a car seat and managed fine going to the supermarket. You walk with a pram, or walk with a sling, or go on the bus, go round the supermarket and do your shopping and come home.

I walked home but took some persuading of the staff, they wanted us to bring the car seat up and did question me saying we were walking, brought the pram up

You need a car seat if you are going home by car. We walked home after ds1 was born. They inspected our sling (???) then ratted us out to our community midwife who took dh aside the next day for a bollocking stern word.

@Porcupineinwaiting

You need a car seat if you are going home by car. We walked home after ds1 was born. They inspected our sling (???) then ratted us out to our community midwife who took dh aside the next day for a bollocking stern word.

Why? Should you have driven a walkable distance?

Ah, I had a bit of a traumatic birth so was physically a bit of a mess (but sky high on endorphins so feeling no pain) . Feeling was I needed to spend a week or two taking things very easy.

If no one else's free to get you there are taxis. If you live close to the hospital you can put baby in their buggy and walk. Personally I couldn't walk for ages after being stitched up pushing out a huge head.

I remember they asked how I planned together home but they don't check do they once you leave the maternity ward, you are gone. Not that anyone would lie but it's not like they watch you put the car seat in the car.

To get*

I took my oldest out in a (lie-flat) buggy, and we took a tram home and walked the rest (10 minutes).
Didn’t have a car for the first 5 years of his life (and the first year of his brother’s life)

We put DD in a pram to take her home. Midwife said “ you can’t do that, you have to put her in a car seat”. I was feeling pretty hacked off by then as we’d been there five days unnecessarily. So I just said “no we don’t”, she said “yes you do” etc and after a bit of this I said “can you not think of any reason why we wouldn’t need a car seat?” She stared at me and the penny eventually dropped that we were walking home - it would literally have taken longer to drive as we lived 5 mins walk from back entrance but car park was at front entrance of large hospital. In fact I walked to hospital and home for both my labours despite CS for DD and having to stop for a couple of contractions for DS.

So as long as you’re not going in a car, they cannot make you take a car seat - unless they are lie flat ones, they are not as good for baby as lying flat and anyway would be crazy to make a woman who has just given birth carry one if on their own if they didn’t need it. But you may need to insist if they get bolshy!

Regardless about people’s own experiences there WILL be some women who give birth and choose to walk home with baby in a park or sling because they feel fine, live very close, don’t have a car or whatever. Both my local hospitals have housing estates right next to them so there are many who are literally a stones throw away.

The point is whether staff at the hospital actually have the power to dictate that this isn’t good enough and ‘not allow’ the woman to take home her own healthy baby despite the fact she is finished using their service and resuming normal life outside of the hospital ward. Seems a bit bonkers to me. Obviously a newborn being bundled into a car without a seat is illegal and literally is not ‘allowed’ so that’s a whole different matter.

Definitely agree that it’s just part of the ‘I’m not allowed to’ culture in pregnancy/birth/postnatal where grown women seem to believe healthcare staff have authority and power over them and they have to do as they’re told..

It’s worth noting that I don’t know any midwives (I am one and obviously trained with people who are now at all different hospitals/trusts) who have any specific training in car seat safety. Midwives/MCAs/MSWs/HCAs etc. Have absolutely no authority to tell you whether a car seat is safe or appropriate. They shouldn’t even tell you whether a baby is strapped in safely because it is not within their sphere of practice and they could be held liable if you were to get in an accident and there was an issue with the seat. So this needing to ‘check’ the seat business makes no sense at all.

The only logical reason I can come up with for having to leave the ward with baby in a seat is that they don’t want you to get bowled down by someone pushing a bed fast in an emergency.

Lemons I didnt realise I was limited to solely answering the OP original post and not commenting on any of the other discussion and adding comment if my own experience.

Could you link me the MN policy and guidelines where it states this?

No? Shocking

People on this thread are so rude and yet accuse the OP of being rude for asking a question. And lots of people have commented that their hospital didn't check either 🤷‍♀️

@Porcupineinwaiting

You need a car seat if you are going home by car. We walked home after ds1 was born. They inspected our sling (???) then ratted us out to our community midwife who took dh aside the next day for a bollocking stern word.

This is a prime example of the infantilising of women when it comes to medical care, pregnancy and parenting.

It's up to you how you get your baby home as long as it's legal and safe.

It's not up to a midwife, or other parents, to tell you what you should do or that your choice was wrong. It's bloody ridiculous.

You can buy a brand new, good quality car seat for £39.99 from Argos, they do not need to cost £100. Failing that, ask around for a second hand one - perfectly safe if you trust the person who has owned it previously.

We were asked to produce the car seat, but I think this was more to do with their policy of not allowing babies to be carried in arms in the hospital in case of falling over.

Slings are potentially dangerous with newborns as they can suffocate - a bus journey home from hospital is probably not the best time to try one for the first time.

I'm glad it's changed to something more reasonable.

Wayyyyyy back in the early 90s, I was informed that I would not be allowed to leave without a car seat, even though I was going to be walking home (less than mile from the hospital). They said I had to go by cab in case I collapsed, it was too cold out to have a baby breathe the early December air and we therefore had to bring a car seat in anyhow.

A distant relative came to the rescue once I'd been stuck in there for a whole week due to post op complications and desperately wanted to go home to somewhere cleaner before the next weekend.

DS no one really paid attention tbh but everyone seemed to leave with a baby in a car seat so maybe we would have stuck out more if we hadn't.

DD was prem and about as small in size & weight as they let you go home. They wanted to see her in the car seat and check she was secure but also that her breathing was ok in it (it's a 35 minute drive from the hospital to get home).

No one asked when I left the ward with both of my DD's. We took them both out in their pram. Our car seat is a newborn-4 years one so you don't carry them in it. But no one asked how we were getting home or if we had one.

Ps you need to check what sort of sling if you plan to walk out with baby in one - they aren't all suitable for a newborn, especially not if a baby is on the small side.

Do you live in central London? I think it's a fairly unusual situation (in the country as a whole) to imagine that you'll never once need to travel with your baby in a car for their first three years or so until they can safely use a more portable booster seat. Maybe in the middle of a city it's less strange, but for most of us who don't live in that situation, you end up using cars sometimes even if it's a taxi, relative/friend's car etc.

Also I would think that most people do get some kind of car ride back home from hospital - whether again that's a taxi or a friend gives them a lift. Obviously not everyone drives or lives with a driver, but most people know somebody with a car, and it would be a very heartless friend/relative who expected a new mum to get the bus, or walk (more than 10 mins) home from hospital while still recovering from childbirth!

You can get a legally approved car seat that goes from birth-18kg (about 3-4 years) for about £40, or an infant carrier for £35 if you're really strapped. I don't like the £40 combination seat, and I would recommend you spend a bit more if you can afford to, but it will have passed a basic crash test in order to be sold and is much safer than using nothing at all (even though this is perfectly legal in a taxi). The £35 infant carrier is fine and will last 1-2 years depending on the size of the baby.

It's also perfectly legal to buy and use second hand car seats - just be aware that there are risks involved in doing that. I'd probably do it if I was going to travel in a car very infrequently, I wouldn't buy a second hand one to keep as my main car seat in my own car.

For some reason in maternity wards you are not allowed to actually carry your baby anywhere. Ridiculous.