To ask what the position is with taking babies home from hospital?

[scoopingthewater]

Do you need a car seat? What if you don’t drive?

OP has said about fourteen times that she drives so will have a car seat, and was just wondering what happens for people who don't.

My car seat isn't one you can carry baby in, it's a 0-4 rear facing one. I was told that I should take baby in the car seat or push her to the car in the hospital cot. They said I could carry her but they had to advise I use the cot. I just carried her out to the car. It was fine. If we didn't have a car I would have taken the pram, but as I had a section and been in overnight we had lots of stuff and couldn't have got the pram and bags etc all in the car together.

There's a marvellous photo of mother sitting in the car with me on her lap on the way home from hospital. But it was 60 years ago.

Both of ours went home in a car seat and the car seat was in the car on both occasions. Nobody batted an eyelid about how we would get home - 26 and 22 years ago.

I cannot imagine a midwife insisting on seeing the car seat to make sure we had one. Had that happened I think DH would have invited the member of staff to accompany us to the car - and would not have been impressed that we were disbelieved.

It's a jolly interesting point though bearing in mind that even when I had mine the midwives didn't weren't prepared to make sure the shower/baths were clean and complained that I asked to be shown how to bathe the baby before I left.

At my hospital you'd need to bring the pushchair when ready to take baby home, if you aren't going in a car.

PSA: if you see any hospital telling women they HAVE to have a certain contraption before they're "allowed" to leave - challenge it. There's no law that says a new mother or baby is in the care of the state. This is a free country, you can discharge you and your baby, unless there's a court order preventing you from doing so.

The midwives cannot imprison you on the ward. They can call the police if they think you're going to break the law (ie take baby in a car without a car seat) or make a safeguarding referral if they think you're putting your child in danger but honestly if you're just walking home or taking the bus then they have no ground on which to stand on.

I'm so, so sick of women being treated like this. It's just another thing to add to the list of many, many problems with maternity services in this country.

Wheeling the baby in its pushchair into a black cab is by far the simplest way for a non-driver to cope with occasionally needing a car journey IME
Presumably that opinion is formed living in city? I have no idea where I would find a black cab in our small, rural market town. (Mind you would struggle to find a bus too so more or less everyone drives).

@GlummyMcGlummerson
Yes, it really bugs me how so many seem to think that once you are pregnant or giving birth or a new mum that all of a sudden your normal human rights are gone and healthcare staff have this weird power and authority over you. Stuff that in any other circumstances you’d immediately know wasn’t right.

Ranges from healthcare procedures (have seen many women say they didn’t realise you were ‘allowed’ to say no to any vaginal exams in labour for example which I think is just shocking, there’s a word for being forced into that kind of contact against your will) to baby care (I remember the thread about the woman who wasn’t ‘allowed’ to use her baby wipes on her newborn and had them thrown away by a midwife). When else in life would we find this sort of thing acceptable to grown bloody adults?

It's bloody daft this thread , I didn't drive when I had my dc but I still got a car seat . I suspect I could've put the baby in a pram and walk out but I know they will be times that I'd put the baby in a car maybe not on the actual day but at some point in the baby's life time .
My first dc neither me nor dh could drive but again we got a child seat .
And let's face it the majority of people will go home in a car with someone else driving so will need one .

@DigOutThoseLemonHandWipes

Wheeling the baby in its pushchair into a black cab is by far the simplest way for a non-driver to cope with occasionally needing a car journey IME Presumably that opinion is formed living in city? I have no idea where I would find a black cab in our small, rural market town. (Mind you would struggle to find a bus too so more or less everyone drives).

The small rural market town I lived in black cabs were by the station - though you could get cards off them to ring to get one in other places.

We tend to get them on long journeys back - so had usually traveled by train and was more frequent when had young toddlers as well - other wise it was bus or feet though did try and avoid car journeys with babies as much as possible.

IL don't have a station in their small rural town - there's one next town over- but you can ring taxi firms and ask about wheel chairs and pushchairs prevision and they are very helpful. IL have never driven and get around huge distances with buses and walking and managed their whole working lives not needing to drive.

We've lived all over the UK -not driving public transport and bus routes, trains routes have always featured in our rent/buy decisions- it has to.

You have to think how to get to work, how to get shopping, how to get to school how to get to GP/chemist - it's automatic for us but something family members who have always driven seem to find odd.

There are places you can't mange without a car - the rural village I grew up in would be one place it be incredibly hard and thus I wouldn't live there - though they had an every hour bus service that stops 6 pm and it was walkable to nearby town which had loads of bus services.

[quote sauvignonbonk]@GlummyMcGlummerson
Yes, it really bugs me how so many seem to think that once you are pregnant or giving birth or a new mum that all of a sudden your normal human rights are gone and healthcare staff have this weird power and authority over you. Stuff that in any other circumstances you’d immediately know wasn’t right.

Ranges from healthcare procedures (have seen many women say they didn’t realise you were ‘allowed’ to say no to any vaginal exams in labour for example which I think is just shocking, there’s a word for being forced into that kind of contact against your will) to baby care (I remember the thread about the woman who wasn’t ‘allowed’ to use her baby wipes on her newborn and had them thrown away by a midwife). When else in life would we find this sort of thing acceptable to grown bloody adults?[/quote]
Add to that the abject neglect of care women are often expected to accept because “you’ve had a baby, you’re not ill”

Two paracetamol, grudgingly given, for pain relief after major abdominal surgery?

The only wards in the hospital where patients have to trek around to find their meals rather than have them brought to the bed.

And the complete lack of giving a shit about post birth problems - prolapses are just normal, pissing and shitting yourself is just life and if you have long-term pain? Well that’s just what happens when you have a baby...

It’s ridiculous. I got better care, better pain relief and respected more, when I had a complicated broken finger

@islockdownoveryet

It's bloody daft this thread , I didn't drive when I had my dc but I still got a car seat . I suspect I could've put the baby in a pram and walk out but I know they will be times that I'd put the baby in a car maybe not on the actual day but at some point in the baby's life time . My first dc neither me nor dh could drive but again we got a child seat . And let's face it the majority of people will go home in a car with someone else driving so will need one .

Why is it daft? The op knows the majority will use a car seat, but wondered about those that don’t

Then. Stop. Posting. On. It. islockdownoveryet

I have REALLY enjoyed whiling some time away, chatting to other mums and mums to be about what they did, how things are different in different hospitals, abroad, how they used to be. Perfectly nice pleasant thread. Apart from the people who don’t like it, who decide to tell ME I’m the rude one? What the fuck? And that IS rude!

[quote sauvignonbonk]@GlummyMcGlummerson
Yes, it really bugs me how so many seem to think that once you are pregnant or giving birth or a new mum that all of a sudden your normal human rights are gone and healthcare staff have this weird power and authority over you. Stuff that in any other circumstances you’d immediately know wasn’t right.

Ranges from healthcare procedures (have seen many women say they didn’t realise you were ‘allowed’ to say no to any vaginal exams in labour for example which I think is just shocking, there’s a word for being forced into that kind of contact against your will) to baby care (I remember the thread about the woman who wasn’t ‘allowed’ to use her baby wipes on her newborn and had them thrown away by a midwife). When else in life would we find this sort of thing acceptable to grown bloody adults?[/quote]
Yep, and being held hostage in the wards until you can walk for your lunch. WTAF. I would have been WAY better off sitting in bed at home with (now Ex)H waiting on me than in the ward but I struggled to walk seeing as I'd had a baby ripped out from between my legs and subsequent operation. Women are treated worse than dogs, and we are told to be thankful "as long as baby is ok".

My neighbour gave birth on her living room floor after being sent home from hospital. They didn't trust she knew her own body and that birth was close. It's not OK to treat women this way!

@scoopingthewater have you had a baby before? I walk loads, and walked right up to the day of giving birth....I would not have walked home from hospital

I did, with my first. And it was a hard, instrumental delivery. I still walked home.

@LadyOfTheImprovisedBath - our station was a victim of Dr Beeching the nearest is 9 miles away and is in a tiny rural village. I think the nearest black cab would be in the large towns which are 15+ miles away. If you were a non driver needing to take a baby to hospital for non emergency care it would be the pretty patchy bus service (if your appointment was after 5pm you'd be stuck) or a mini cab. In reality you would almost certainly get a lift, especially if you had to get older children to/from school as the bus takes well over an hour to cover the 15 miles to the hospital.

The only wards in the hospital where patients have to trek around to find their meals rather than have them brought to the bed.

That was partly why we just left -I was starving.

I'd been sick early in labour they insisted I stop the night promised toast which never came - hard enough to get a jug of water - if I put DD1 down she screamed blue murder - so when I had to go to the loo I got shouted at by staff but no-one could hold her and I couldn't take her into breakfast room. By time DH go there breakfast was over and it had been over 24 hours when I'd last eaten and I was bf.

I recovered much faster from HB but then I got drink food and sleep when I needed it.

The only wards in the hospital where patients have to trek around to find their meals rather than have them brought to the bed.

They brought them to the bed in my hospital. They also came around making cups of tea, and rather than just after birth toast, for my first, one of the midwives had made a big pot of food the night before, so the women could have a home cooked (albiet reheated) meal instead if desired.

It wasn't perfect, there were small niggles, but the staffing was about 2 women to a HCP, and it was delightful. We were asked whether we wanted to go home or stay an extra night, and both times I opted for the extra night.

@LadyOfTheImprovisedBath

The only wards in the hospital where patients have to trek around to find their meals rather than have them brought to the bed.

That was partly why we just left -I was starving.

I'd been sick early in labour they insisted I stop the night promised toast which never came - hard enough to get a jug of water - if I put DD1 down she screamed blue murder - so when I had to go to the loo I got shouted at by staff but no-one could hold her and I couldn't take her into breakfast room. By time DH go there breakfast was over and it had been over 24 hours when I'd last eaten and I was bf.

I recovered much faster from HB but then I got drink food and sleep when I needed it.

A few people have commented on our local hospital’s Facebook page about how they felt they recovered much quicker from their recent births, and that the major reason was that the didn’t miss meals as they’re being delivered to the beds during covid as wandering around the ward isn’t allowed.

Hopefully they may learn something from that (though i doubt it)

@DigOutThoseLemonHandWipes I think that's one of those places then that non-drivers really should think twice about living in or need driving family/friends.

You could probaly manage in the village I grew up in but it would be hard and you'd often be dependent on others for lifts - I hated that as a teen.

There have been few occasions - very isolated guide/scout locations here in a small city we currently live in we just couldn't get to not driving - and couldn't source lifts to but mostly not driving isn't a huge problem.

@LadyOfTheImprovisedBath we are incomers (pre children) from outer London and never would have chosen to live here if we didn't drive. Day to day stuff, schools, Dr surgery, smallish supermarkets, pharmacy, are all walkable but beyond that if you don't drive you are pretty stuffed - but I don't know anyone here that doesn't drive - most youngsters get their license within months of turning 17 and the more rural ones have been know to drive a tractor to school from 16!

I do think some people forget not everyone can drive. My sister can’t for medical reasons. She lives in London so it’s fine but she is quite used to taking the bus and train and getting around. I’m not so much so I struggle more.

Had to leave THE WARD in the car seat and strapped in!!!

My sister doesn't drive.. she took baby home in a taxi in LONDON.

@islockdownoveryet

It's bloody daft this thread , I didn't drive when I had my dc but I still got a car seat . I suspect I could've put the baby in a pram and walk out but I know they will be times that I'd put the baby in a car maybe not on the actual day but at some point in the baby's life time . My first dc neither me nor dh could drive but again we got a child seat . And let's face it the majority of people will go home in a car with someone else driving so will need one .

What’s bloody daft is someone thinking just because the majority do something one way no one should be in the slightest bit curious about those that don’t or can’t.

@LadyOfTheImprovisedBath

The only wards in the hospital where patients have to trek around to find their meals rather than have them brought to the bed.

That was partly why we just left -I was starving.

I'd been sick early in labour they insisted I stop the night promised toast which never came - hard enough to get a jug of water - if I put DD1 down she screamed blue murder - so when I had to go to the loo I got shouted at by staff but no-one could hold her and I couldn't take her into breakfast room. By time DH go there breakfast was over and it had been over 24 hours when I'd last eaten and I was bf.

I recovered much faster from HB but then I got drink food and sleep when I needed it.

@LadyOfTheImprovisedBath that's absolutely appalling. Did you complain?

With DS, I was breastfeeding and because I arrived into the postnatal ward shortly after dinner had been plonked int he hallway, I missed it (I noticed male visitors queueing for food though and no staff said anything). So they brought me the tiniest of teeny egg and tomato sarnies. They were gone in two bites. So I discharged myself against midwives advice (I was fine she only wanted me to stay so I could get bloods taken at 7am - I said I'll come back in for that time) so I could go home and order a Chinese