To feel so sad I can't go to iteland?

[chateaudoodoo]

We are so lucky to have a family house on the wild Atlantic way. My mum grew up there before coming to London to train as a Nurse.
We haven't been this year fir obvious reasons .
My mum is now 83 and a widow she is a very pragmatic tough woman but today she was crying and said she doesn't think she will ever be able to go to iteland again.
We all feel terrible and are very tempted to take her but would it be terrible?

I am Irish and I haven't been home in a year. My PIL are the same age as your mum, they are terrified they won't see us again. But we are all respecting the rules. The Irish govt. have basically asked people not to come home at Christmas. Perhaps things will be better at Easter or in the summer but now is not the time to go back.

No, atm it's a very selfish but loving act. She WILL see her homeland again, whether true or not, it's your duty to convince her of that.

That's m favourite route in the world Op what stretch is your house?

Hope you can visit soon

Yes, I do think it would be terrible. Respect the regulations in the country you are going to and don´t try to find a loophole that suits you. I am in the same situation of having an elderly mother who would love to go to Donegal (she lives just across the border in Northern Ireland), but we won´t be going as I respect the residents of Donegal too much to bring possible infection from outside the area in just because it would be lovely to visit. If you are in London and are planning on driving to the WAW, it isn´t just a quick ferry trip. It is a long distance with many stops to get somewhere that you shouldn´t be anyway.

@chowmeinblame, I have sent you a PM

No please dont. This laid back attitude is exactly what we dont need, and most people are not waning as a pp suggested. We are taking it much more seriously. I have to drive for work and go through at least 3 garda checkpoints each week in different spots.

Do it . She might never go again .

Thank you for all your replies.
I think I will pacify her with the hope of the imminent vaccine.
In my house we have all had covid and fortunately recovered so I doubt we would be spreading disease but if the vaccine is available in the foreseeable future things might be different.
Very hard to deny someone who has spent her whole life caring for others in very challenging circumstances but she is a very reasonable woman just feeling the night drawing in I suppose

I would pause and start by having a few general chats to find out whether she really, desperately wants to go just one more time . Could the tears have been a more generalised despair at getting older generally and options closing down?

If you do take her, and I'm not really sure that's such a good idea, as soon as you are back , the same will apply ... 'I'll never go back' will again be true.

It's really not ideal either way.

Just go. We are

Very hard to deny someone who has spent her whole life caring for others in very challenging circumstances

If that is the case, surely she won't want to risk spreading covid? It would be an unbelievably selfish thing to do and I'm glad you are planning on deferring it.

You say those in your house have all had it but it's your siblings who are thinking of bringing her. Have they had it? Has she had it? Even if you have all had it confirmed by tests, it's still possible to get it a second time

@MinecraftMother - Just go. We are

It's no wonder the numbers aren't getting down to where we want them to be with selfish people like you.

So true. All our fault.

Don't come. I live on the WAW - right now we're restricted to staying within 5km of home, we can't socialise with anyone in their homes, not even their gardens (and yes, most of us are sticking to the rules), the weather is diabolical, the pubs are shut, and it gets dark very early. Not somewhere I'd want to take an 83 year old woman - maybe wait and see where we are in the spring?

Take her life is short.
I have stuck by the rules I'd say this was an essential journey.

Go, you'll be fine. You have a house, if the guards stop you at a checkpoint they can't stop you going! I think everyone gives them random reasons anyway. Just don't say your going shopping in the north or something!! There's not much you can do here atm, so it's not like you can go into shops or pubs or restaurants. You can do a click & collect or call up local supermarket. You aren't a danger to anyone doing that. Your poor mother, please just let her go home, if she feels it's her last chance, listen to her. There are lots of people in Ireland who have lost their minds over covid, but most haven't. She already left ireland when times were very tough & it couldn't offer her anything. The least this country can do is show some compassion now. Im in Ireland right now & I 200% support her coming xx

My Mil whom I love very much is 81 and living in Ireland. 3 of her children and their spouses who love her can't see her this year. I'd love to see Ireland again myself - to say nothing of my relatives but I won't because we are in a global pandemic and we need to stay home and stay safe.

Your mum had 83 years of being able to visit home. She may well have many years ahead of her once this is over. Stop with the "never visit Ireland again" stuff to justify breaking public health rules. There are vaccines in the works this will be over eventually. we all need to do our bit.

Will you be travelling through NI on the way there? We are entering strict lockdown on Friday. The last time we were in proper lockdown the police were stopping people travelling between towns to go to the bigger supermarkets and sending them home. It would be much more of a pain in the arse than it's actually worth just to sit in a different house for a week or two.

There isn't really anything open other than supermarkets.
You won't be able to socialise anyway after travelling.
Although I said do it above it is a terrible time to visit with bad weather too.

Some of the advice being posted here is inaccurate or out of date. The latest advice for travel to Ireland can be found at

www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/ireland

It is, of course, subject to change...

My wife and I are both Irish (she's from Cork, I'm from Co Down). We have not been in Ireland since November last year. We would normally go at least twice a year - around Christmas and then usually also during the summer. My wife's mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer during lockdown but due to the various restrictions that have applied my wife hasn't been able to go over to see her. We had really hoped to go home this Christmas but much as we would like to go this year, particularly in the light of my MIL's ill health, we will not do so as we respect the request from the Irish government to Irish citizens to refrain from travelling home this Christmas in order to help stop the spread of the virus.

In particular i know that there are slightly different rules which apply to travel between Northern Ireland and the Republic but those are in place for specific reasons, not to enable people like me who happen to be Northern Irish to circumvent the general rules which apply.

It is not unreasonable for you to feel sad about how your mother feels and her fears about possibly not seeing Ireland again but by taking her on such a journey you would be exposing her to the risks inherent in non-essential travel at this time, as well as possibly exposing the people you meet on your way to risks of catching the disease from you or somebody else in your party. Personally I would hold tight. Your mother is in the category of people who will be amongst the first to receive the vaccine and hopefully if we all continue to stick to what we are being asked to do to protect each other we will all be able to travel again more freely and safely in the not too distant future.

Bí láidir.

"Your mum had 83 years of being able to visit home. She may well have many years ahead of her once this is over. Stop with the "never visit Ireland again" stuff to justify breaking public health rules."

This.

I flew home in September, we genuinely thought my Mother was dying, it would have been so easy to fly into Dublin, but no, the rules dictated that I go into Belfast and out Dublin if I chose.

My fabulous sister in law after a full day at work in the IFSC, turned her car around and picked me up.

You and your mother need to get over yourselves, the day I left Dublin I went upstairs to say goodbye and my DM was effectively dead in the bed, unresponsive and it wasn't until I poked her really hard that everything clicked back in.

I stayed in the house for 72 hours only left to go for two walks and then went to the airport and came back to the UK again.

On the upside, she didn't die, on the downside I am still spending my virtual inheritance in my head. ( disclaimer this is a family joke )

I wrote an even longer post, but my PC has eaten it.

I will surmise.

You and your mother need to get a fing grip. *

BTW My mother is 87 with 20% heart function.

We all have a grip in our family situation, so would you like to borrow my grip ?

I'd try & pacify her by planning a trip fir the spring/summer. Paint a lovely picture of travelling when the weather is better & enjoying the garden/scenery/pub/whatever SO much more then & everything good you can think of to look forward to.

Going now, even without COVID is probably not the best time

Glad the
Poking her really hard did the trick.!
As I said we will wait fir the vaccine